Then she looked over at Nugget. “Remember what I said. We’ll write. And if Joseph is agreeable, then I can visit, or you can visit me. It’ll be all right. You’ll see.”
But her stomach churned. None of it felt right. Joseph would have what he wanted. His silver, his family, and Nugget. And though Annabelle was also finally getting what she wanted, she didn’t want to leave anymore. But she had no right. Not to Joseph, and not to Nugget, as much as she’d grown to love them both.
It should be enough for her that Joseph finally had the means to provide for his family. Annabelle’s prayers had been answered.
Chapter Twenty-Two
They rode to the Lassiters’ house, where everyone was promptly dispatched to take baths and get into clean clothes.
After Joseph had a bath and his soiled clothing was taken to see if any silver dust could be found in its folds, he wandered to the back porch, where he sat while everyone else made merry in the house, with an emptiness he couldn’t quite describe.
Everything should be perfect. Slade’s men were in jail, and now that Slade had finally come to, he would soon be joining them.
Nugget was safe. Joseph had the silver he needed to provide for his family. In fact, he’d spent a good deal of the time on the ride home talking with Collin MacDonald, who’d given him solid information on the next steps to opening his mine and making it profitable. From what Collin said, if the vein opened by the explosion was as deep as it appeared, they could be looking at one of the largest fortunes to be gained in Leadville history.
They’d been back at the house for less than an hour when all the local mining barons or their representatives began coming to call. Everyone was willing to buy him out at a handsome price. Haunted by Slade’s words about all the people wanting to take advantage of others, and seeing firsthand what greed would do to people, Joseph decided that he couldn’t risk anyone else being taken advantage of. He’d see his father’s mining dream through.
With recommendations from Frank and Collin, Joseph had already begun to put a team in place to open his father’s mines. Collin’s sons had remained behind to guard the newly opened silver vein until he could put together a security team.
In his wildest imaginations, he’d never thought his father’s dream could so richly come true.
Joseph wanted to throw back his head and laugh at the irony of how everything had worked out. His only regret was that his father hadn’t lived long enough to see it. Yes, regret. While he didn’t approve of all his father’s choices, he’d come to realize that his father lived a complicated life. Even his father’s bad choice of taking a mistress had a bright side. Joseph couldn’t imagine life without his precious sister.
It was, as Annabelle said, all for the benefit of saving many lives.
Joseph was going to miss her and their partnership. He knew if he asked, she’d stay.
But even now, with the promise of real wealth in their future, he couldn’t ask her to give up her dreams.
As if to confirm his belief, he heard Maddie in the kitchen. “We’ll have to go shopping to buy you new dresses for the trip. I’m sure Celeste will want to have new ones made when you get there, but we don’t want you going in rags.”
“That sounds lovely.”
Without being able to see Annabelle’s face, he couldn’t read her attitude, but the clatter of something falling to the floor was unmistakable. Annabelle didn’t want to go.
“Oh, you! You go on and sit on the porch or something. You’re too excited to be of any use to me.”
Annabelle murmured a reply, then the door opened and closed behind her as she joined him on the porch.
“Exciting times, eh?” Joseph smiled at her as she sat beside him.
“Your family will be so happy.”
Annabelle gave him the kind of fake smile that made him want to dig deeper. But he’d given up that right. Maybe someday, when she’d had her taste of the world, she’d come back to Leadville, and maybe they’d both be free to pursue the what-if questions they’d been unable to face.
“They will. I’ve already begun the arrangements to bring them here. My sister Mary will be able to take care of Nugget.”
Joseph wasn’t leaving. “You’re staying?”
“I’ve just said that.”
The dark hid whatever expression might have flashed across Annabelle’s face. But he knew it wouldn’t make her happy to be so easily dismissed. What else was he supposed to do? If she thought she was needed, Annabelle would stay.
And he couldn’t have her sacrifice her dreams again.
“What about until then?” Annabelle’s voice drifted to him, almost too soft to hear.
“Collin said Polly was undone at the knowledge of Tom’s involvement in everything. It will do her good to get out of the camp for a while. She’ll be down in the morning to help with Nugget.”
Annabelle tried to push away the pang in her heart at the mention of Polly’s situation. Her friend had been through so much, and then to find out that the man she thought was going to marry her was so… Annabelle sighed. People were never what they seemed.
She stole a glance at Joseph. He’d barely spoken to her since her rescue, and even now, things were so different from how they used to be.
Everything had worked out perfectly. Joseph was staying in Leadville. Annabelle was leaving on her dream trip.
So why did she want to cry?
The stair beside her creaked. “Nugget wanted to say goodnight to Annabelle before Frank takes you to the hotel.”
“The hotel?” Annabelle looked up at Maddie and spied a miserable-looking Nugget on her shoulder, then brought her gaze back to Joseph. “Why would you and Nugget stay at a hotel, when there’s plenty of room here?”
“I don’t need to impose any longer.” His voice was quiet. Firm.
“But I thought—”
“It’s for the best. We’ve got arrangements to make, and I don’t want to be in the way.” His tone was nothing like that of the Joseph she’d come to care for over the past few days. In just the space of a few hours, he’d turned into a man she hardly recognized.
One of the things she hated about silver was how it changed people. It turned decent men like Slade into greedy monsters. Hardworking men like Gertie’s husband into gamblers and drunkards. And friends into people too good to share your roof anymore.
“Come give me a hug, then, Nugget.” Annabelle tried to keep her voice steady, so that the little girl at least wouldn’t know how desperately her heart was breaking right now.
Nugget slipped out of Maddie’s arms and into Annabelle’s embrace. “I want to stay with you.”
She did, too. But when she glanced up at Joseph, he gave her a stern look and a shake of his head that told her she dared not agree with the child she dearly loved.
“Joseph will take good care of you.” Annabelle held the little girl tight against her, breathing in the sweet scent she’d forgotten how much she loved. The air was so still, she could hear Nugget’s heartbeat, mixed with the choked breaths of a little girl trying not to cry.
“It’s going to be okay,” Annabelle said, trying to be as cheerful as she could with her heart breaking.
Joseph wasn’t just hurting her with his decision to pull away, but the little girl he’d so fiercely claimed to be protecting.
Maddie cleared her throat. “I need to see if a few of these other things fit Nugget before you go. The child’s got to have at least a change of clothes, though I’m sure you’ll be wanting to buy her new ones.”
Joseph gave a small jerk of his head, and Nugget followed Maddie in, leaving Annabelle alone with him again.
“You’re sure you can’t stay here? Nugget and I—”
“She’s already too attached. And with you leaving, I don’t want to make it worse.”
His jaw was hard, unflinching. And if it wasn’t for the tiny spot of tenderness in his dark eyes, she’d think she wasn’t even looking at Joseph.
“I
promised her we’d stay in touch.”
He shook his head. “You’ll forget all about her once you get settled with your aunt. I hear she’s already planning a fancy party in your honor.”
“I would never forget. She’s worried that when she meets the rest of your family, she’ll face the same rejection she’s met from others because of her birth. I could help ease some of that.”
Joseph looked like she’d stuck a knife into his gut. “They’re good people. They’ll accept her. She needs to learn to rely on her family.” The “not you,” wasn’t spoken, but Annabelle heard it loud and clear. This wasn’t the Joseph challenging Annabelle tone she’d gotten used to. This was something darker, like that of a changed man.
She’d never expected that finding silver would change Joseph. But surely there was hope.
“I could stay,” Annabelle offered. “I needn’t leave right away. I can help get Nugget settled with your family, and—”
“No.”
His easy dismissal and refusal to even hear her out stung worse than anything Slade had ever done to her.
“But if she’s eased into the situation, and has people she knows around her, it won’t be so bad when I—”
“You’ve done enough.”
Who was this man, and where was Joseph? “Can we just talk about this? I mean, we—”
“There is no we, Annabelle. I’ve always made it clear that my family has to come first. Go visit your aunt. Live your life.”
Before she could try to argue further, the door opened again, and Maddie ushered Nugget out with a bundle of clothes. “You come back and visit me anytime, you hear?”
Nugget nodded solemnly but made no move toward Joseph.
“Come on, Nugget, it’s time to go.” He held out his hand, and in the time it took for the sob welling inside Annabelle to finally find its way out, they were gone.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Annabelle hadn’t seen Joseph in the days leading up to her departure. She’d even dallied over her shopping in hopes that she’d spot him or Nugget in one of the stores. But she hadn’t been so fortunate. When she boarded the train to Denver, she did so with every ounce of her body wanting to throw herself to the ground, kicking, screaming and protesting that she didn’t want to go.
But of course, she wouldn’t. Not when she’d fought so long and hard to make this trip. Not when she’d finally earned her father’s respect and belief in her dreams.
Not when Joseph was so cold.
Her father had somehow managed to procure her a seat in front of a family traveling with a little girl who might have been about Nugget’s age. Though she was sure it wasn’t intentional, there was something almost cruel about it. Especially when her chosen traveling companions were Lucy Simms and her mother. Mrs. Simms, apparently, had a fondness for children.
The little girl kept twisting in her seat and looking at Mrs. Simms wistfully. Which, of course, Mrs. Simms encouraged with her questions for the child.
Eight hours of this just might kill her.
It wasn’t just the loss of Nugget she’d felt so keenly, but that of Joseph. Every time she thought of Nugget, she couldn’t help but think of Joseph. And while she’d strengthened her relationship with her father, and their conversations were no longer as stilted, he didn’t talk to her the way Joseph did. He didn’t see her the way Joseph did.
How had finding his father’s silver blinded him so?
Since rescuing her and Nugget from the mine, Joseph had barely talked to her.
So why did the thought of leaving him break her heart?
*
“I don’t know what I’m going to do with the lot of you.” His sister Mary smacked Joseph on the back of the head with a newspaper as she joined him at breakfast.
The table was full and set for everyone to join them, but so far, at half past the time they were due, Mary was the first to arrive.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” He stared into his coffee already knowing her answer. He’d made a mess of things, thinking that this transition for his family would be easy.
Mary reached past him for one of the hotel’s fine biscuits. “The girls are still pretending that the little one doesn’t exist, and Daniel eggs them on. Then there’s the two of you. The little girl, who won’t say a word, and you, who’s got the personality of a wet rag in a rainstorm.”
He looked up at her. “A wet rag in a rainstorm? That’s the best you can do?”
“You know what I mean.” Mary took a sip of her tea and stared at him. “It’s like the life has been completely sucked out of you. Sometimes I think we were better off—”
“Don’t say it.” Joseph glared at her. “After everything we’ve all been through, everything I’ve done to get us all together.”
He’d failed, that’s what. The air in the dining room had suddenly grown a lot warmer. Possibly from Mary breathing down his neck. As he adjusted his collar, a bundle of energy and tears ran into his arms.
“I hate them. Papa said they’d love me, but they’re horrible and mean, and I want Annabelle.”
The only person Nugget would speak to was him. And mostly it was to ask if she could see Annabelle, or if Annabelle had written. Her train wasn’t scheduled to leave for another hour yet, and already his baby sister wanted her to write.
He looked up at Mary, a silent plea for help.
“Nanette, you need to sit in your own seat.”
Nugget looked up and glared at her older sister. “It’s Nugget.”
“Nanette is a good name, and it’s listed in the family Bible as your given name, so you’ll learn to answer to it.”
Joseph rubbed the bridge of his nose. Ever since Mary found that entry in their pa’s Bible, she’d insisted on calling Nugget Nanette, which had only made things worse. Annabelle would have found a way to smooth things over.
But he couldn’t impose on her, not when it meant delaying her own dreams. No, he’d find a way to do it without her. After all he’d put her through, nearly getting her killed in the process, he owed her the freedom of her own life.
“Annabelle thought Nugget was a fine name,” Nugget said, sticking her finger in the jam.
Mary turned her attention back to Joseph. “I would have at least liked to have met Annabelle. I can’t imagine why she couldn’t have had the decency to respond to my invitation to supper. She could have given me some idea as to how to manage Nanette. Instead, I’ve got to deal with her and five mutinous siblings who are all furious that you’d do this to them.”
Joseph finally looked at his sister. “I didn’t deliver the invitation.”
“I beg your pardon?” The glare he got was no worse than he deserved. But he couldn’t have borne it any other way.
“I didn’t deliver it. She was busy with preparations for her trip.”
“And she couldn’t have delayed it by a few weeks, or even a few days?”
Mary’s tone was enough to set the fire back in him. “It wasn’t her choice. It was mine. I made her go.”
Every morning, he questioned that decision. Wondered if he’d just taken her up on her offer of helping ease the transition with Nugget, if maybe his entire family wouldn’t be ready to kill him right about now. If maybe they could write, and she’d…she’d what? Be willing to give up everything she’d dreamed of to raise his siblings? No. He couldn’t do that to Annabelle.
Joseph reached for the pot to pour himself another cup of coffee, but Mary took it from him. “Now why would you do a stupid thing like that? It’s as plain as anyone can see that you’re in love with her. Mooning about, but dodging anytime you catch a glimpse of her so she doesn’t notice you.”
“I’m not the man for her,” he said quietly. “She’s wanted this trip for a long time, and I’m not going to stand in her way.”
Mary shook her head, her face filled with disgust. “You didn’t even tell her how you felt, did you?”
“There’s no point.” He refused to meet her eyes. “I know how
she feels about mining. Annabelle doesn’t want this life, and even if I were to convince her to stay for a while, she’d resent not getting to live her dreams.”
“Is this because you asked her, or because you assumed and made the decision for her?”
He hadn’t asked Annabelle. In fact, he’d pretty much pushed her out and forced her to go on that trip even when she’d tried to offer to delay it for him.
“You don’t understand.” He addressed Mary while hugging Nugget to him and smoothing her hair. “My responsibility lies with all of you. And Annabelle—”
“Could help you with that responsibility if you’d give her the chance. Why are all men so pigheaded as to think that they need to make the decisions for us?”
Joseph had never known Mary to be a bitter woman. But the anger spewed at him wasn’t just about his treatment of Annabelle, but of something else.
“What’s really going on? How is this situation with Annabelle suddenly about all men?”
Mary dabbed her lips with her napkin, then tossed it on the table. “Because it is. And because from everything I’ve seen and heard, you’ve found yourself a good woman to love and rather than going after it, you’re hiding behind the excuse of providing for a family that’s got everything it needs. You are just like Pa.”
Her barb hit him firmly in the part of his heart that was still struggling to forgive a man who didn’t deserve it. The table shook as Mary pushed back in her seat and stood. Even Nugget raised her head from his shoulder and looked up at her.
“Worst of all, you’re hurting an innocent little girl because of your pride. Maybe Aunt Ina did take the switch to the younger ones more often than I’d like. But at least she never broke anyone’s heart with her cruelty.”
Mary stormed out of the restaurant, leaving Joseph alone with a teary-eyed little girl and a table full of food with no one to eat it.
No one had ever accused Joseph of being cruel before. Nor had anyone compared him to their pa. He’d only thought to spare Annabelle the trouble of being forced to decide between the duty of caring for a child who needed her and the dream she’d been putting aside for too long. But had he asked his pa about his reasons for his actions, would he have said something different than what Joseph had assumed?
Love Inspired Historical November 2014 Page 93