Now, her thoughts kept returning to Gideon.
She didn’t understand why she was fixated on him. He was a guy she knew, and barely. She should focus on other things, except she couldn’t get the feel of his light caress in the coffee shop out of her mind. She groaned. He was not the right guy for her, no matter how intriguing he might be. When—if—she decided to date again, she wanted simple. Her life was complicated enough without adding Gideon’s moods into the mix.
That night, the phone rang in the middle of a TV movie. It was a text from Gideon.
r you guys free tomorrow for ice cream or something
Lily took a deep breath. Hearing from him almost lowered her resolve.
i’m a single mom and have to be really careful with Claire. i can’t do spur-of-the-moment with her because she doesn’t understand when plans fall through.
There was a pause, before Gideon finally answered.
i’m really sorry about that. i don’t make a habit of standing people up. and I’d never do anything to hurt Claire.
Her stomach settled. Maybe this could work.
then we’re free.
i’ll pick you two up at one.
Lily put down the phone and clenched her teeth. She hoped he wouldn’t change his mind again, because she wouldn’t allow anyone to hurt her child—or her—again.
****
Gideon rang Lily’s doorbell and then wiped his sweaty palms on his pant legs as he waited for her to answer.
“Hi, Gideon.” She frowned as she searched his face with her gaze. “What happened to you?” Her voice was pitched low with concern.
Gideon’s face flushed at Lily’s examination. His body ran hot and cold and he cleared his throat. “Basketball game got a little rougher than usual. I’m fine.”
Her eyes widened. “Is that why you cancelled?”
He nodded, a mixture of guilt and fear running through him.
Lily leaned against the doorframe, arms folded. “I wish you had told me.”
Sincerity shone from her eyes and suddenly, his reasons for keeping the injuries to himself seemed foolish. “I should have. It was stupid.”
Her face cleared. “Come on in. Claire, Gideon is here!”
“Yay, ice cream, ice cream, we’re going for ice cream!” Claire sang as she scooted around Gideon and skipped down the hall. She ran back. “Hi, Gideon, I’m glad you’re here. I haven’t seen you in a while,” she pouted.
He laughed at Claire’s quicksilver mood, but quickly grew serious. “I know, honey, I’m sorry I couldn’t keep our dinner date earlier.” He’d been occupied with protecting himself; he hadn’t thought about Claire. Lily was right. It was important to think of both of them.
“You should be. You missed out on playing with a great friend,” she said solemnly.
“I know.” He closed his eyes briefly in apology before addressing Claire. “I told the boys at the center how great you are. Maybe one day I’ll introduce you to some of them and you’ll play too?”
Claire’s eyes brightened, but then she frowned. “Boys?”
“Yes.” She was the mirror image of the boys at the center and he fought a smile.
“I don’t know if I like playing with boys.”
“Claire, honey, you play with Max all the time,” Lily countered.
“Yeah, but he’s different. He’s Max.”
“What about me?” Gideon teased. “You like playing with me, don’t you?”
Claire giggled. “Yeah, but you’re not a boy, you’re Gideon!”
He laughed as Lily shrugged. “Well, I think you’d like them,” he said. “And I told them about you and they said they’d like to meet you.”
“Really?” Claire was excited now. “Well, if they want to meet me, I guess I’ll just have to make them happy.”
Gideon hid a grin and the three of them went to the ice cream store three blocks away. Claire maintained a steady stream of six-year-old chatter, interrupted by bouts of skipping ahead and racing back to catch up. She grabbed her mom’s hands and they danced down the street. Store owners, shoppers and cart pushers on the street watched them and smiled along with them. Their joy was infectious. Lily laughed at Claire’s antics, as she threw her head back and twirled around like a graceful ballerina.
Their joyful noise floated around him like the wind chimes on his mother’s front porch. For a moment, he wished things were different. He leaned forward and imagined dancing with them—the hard pavement firm beneath his feet, Claire’s soft hands in his, Lily’s graceful arm around his neck, the supple ripple of her muscles as he guided her along. He smelled the mingled scents of Claire’s shampoo and Lily’s perfume beneath his nose as he imagined burying his nose into Lily’s hair, and twirling Claire above his head.
A distant car horn jolted him back to reality and he leaned back with a sigh. I never would have appreciated this then. Not one to dwell on what couldn’t be, he concentrated on maneuvering around the people on the sidewalk as the three of them approached the ice cream store. Once there, Claire ordered strawberry, Gideon ordered chocolate and Lily ordered super chocolate deluxe.
“Enough chocolate for you there, Lil?” he asked as he paid the cashier.
“Never.” Lily grinned wickedly. Then her eyes flickered as he replaced his wallet. “Wait, you’re not paying!”
“I already did.” His lungs expanded and peace settled over him.
“But…”
“But nothing. It’s just ice cream. Let it be.” His deep voice, though quiet, was authoritative, and Lily relented.
“Okay. Thank you.” Her smile made him glad he’d suggested this outing.
They exited the store and entered one of the city’s vest pocket parks, hidden alcoves between buildings that were open to the public, if they knew where to look. Inside the gate it was peaceful, so tranquil you could almost forget you were in a major metropolitan city. Behind the intricate wrought iron gates, a wall fountain burbled. Underneath the fountain, a small garden planted with yellow and purple pansies swayed in the breeze, their sweet perfume drifting out to the sidewalk. Two oak trees shaded two stone benches. The three sat and ate their ice cream without speaking.
“How’s your ice cream, Claire?” asked Lily, finally. She spooned the last of hers into her mouth. His body heated as she licked the spoon and he shifted in his chair, imagining what else she could do with her tongue.
“Good, but I wish you’d let me get a cone.”
“Maybe next time.” Lily wiped her mouth with her napkin.
Claire grumbled, but before she could argue, Gideon interjected, needing a distraction.
“Hey, Claire, Samantha showed me a drawing you made her. It’s hanging on her refrigerator and it’s really good. Maybe you’ll make me one? My refrigerator is getting kind of lonely.”
Claire giggled. “Your refrigerator isn’t lonely, Gideon. It’s not a person.”
“I know, silly. But I’m telling you, it’s lonely. Empty. Bare. Blank. I think you’re the perfect person to draw a picture for it.”
“Well, I’ll make you a picture, but I still don’t believe you.” Claire finished her ice cream and stood up. “Mommy, can Gideon come home with us and play Trouble?”
Warmth flooded his chest at Claire’s obvious excitement and he clenched his fist waiting for Lily’s response. Maybe she didn’t want to spend more time together, maybe she had things to do, maybe…
“That would be lovely,” she said. Her smile lit her face and Gideon swallowed. “If you’re free, Gideon.”
He cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t be too excited if I were you,” he said, leading them out of the park.
“Why not?” Claire raced in front of him and stopped. Gideon grabbed his brake and jerked his chair to a halt.
“Because I am going to win.” He raised an eyebrow and smirked.
“Oh no you’re not! You never win.”
He raised an eyebrow, enjoying their banter. “Well, I’ve been practicing and I’m defini
tely going to beat you.”
“Nuh uh.” Claire stuck her tongue out at him and skipped backward toward the apartment.
“Uh huh,” answered Gideon, sticking his tongue out at her.
“I don’t know which one of you is worse,” Lily cried in mock exasperation.
Claire and Gideon laughed conspiratorially, and he realized how much he enjoyed being with them.
****
Gideon and Claire sat in the living room while Lily went into the kitchen to check the answering machine.
As Claire set up the game, he studied the photos on display. The majority of them featured Claire in different stages of her life. Some portrayed older people in them whom Gideon assumed were grandparents. A grouping on the wall caught his eye, and he went over to examine it closely. Professional black and white photos, one showed Claire as a toddler. A close-up of her profile, it emphasized her upturned nose and rosebud lips. A second showed Claire, Lily and a man Gideon assumed was the father, lying on the ground, heads touching. He studied the man, noticing a strong resemblance between father and daughter. Lily appeared carefree and happy, and somehow different. He rubbed his chest as regret over her loss washed over him.
The sound of footsteps returned his attention to the room. He looked up as Lily passed by. Now he knew the difference—in the picture, her face glowed and her joy suffused every part of her body. In person, as Gideon knew her, she held herself apart and carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. He could see it in her eyes, in the smile that never quite penetrated them. He wished he could make her happy.
He returned to Claire distracted, as he wondered how to lighten Lily’s load. “Just a minute, Claire,” Gideon said, and headed toward Lily’s bedroom. He paused in the doorway. “Do you want any help with anything?”
Lily raised an eyebrow. “With my laundry?”
Gideon’s face heated as he noticed piles of neatly folded clothes on the bed and freshly laundered ones still in the basket. Timing had never been his strong suit. “Sorry, I didn’t realize what you were doing.” He went back to Claire.
She stopped him with light pressure on his shoulder. “Thanks. I appreciate it. But I’m okay, and I’ll be out to join you in a minute or two.” Her touch filled him as much as her gratitude did, which was so different from his usual response when people offered to help him. It made him think. Five minutes later, she joined them, sitting crossways on the chair as her legs dangled over the arm. He wished he could reach over and hold her hand, but that would turn this into something else, and he wasn’t ready for that now. Could I be?
As Gideon and Claire played the game, he watched Lily surreptitiously. She bit her lower lip between her teeth and her feet swung to a beat only she could hear. She twirled a length of hair between her fingers, and smiled at her daughter’s antics. Several times, she caught his gaze when Claire did something funny, as if sharing a private moment with him. She is beautiful. He pressed the bubble, heard the click and watched the die tumble. He couldn’t deny it—beautiful to look at and to be with. Maybe it will work, he told himself.
Maybe they could be friends, and maybe it would be okay if something developed between them. What harm could there be in getting attached? His chest expanded at his change in attitude. His heart began to thaw. And as Claire jumped up and declared herself the winner, Gideon caught Lily’s eye once again and smiled. He held his breath. Maybe a little piece of the happiness he’d witnessed today could be his. Finally.
Chapter 7
Joe stuck his head in Gideon’s office on Tuesday afternoon. “Hey, meet us at McNulty’s for beers after work.”
Gideon looked up from his desk and removed his glasses. His dry, gritty eyes burned and his neck ached from sitting hunched at the computer all morning. He’d been buried in his presentation. It took a moment for him to register the command. Nothing appealed to him less than drinks with his boss. He still had his daily exercise regimen to do to keep his leg muscles limber and toned, and he’d been anticipating a night in front of the TV. Despite an inward sigh, he put his glasses back on and nodded. “Meet you there around six,” Joe said.
A few hours later, Gideon headed over to the bar. McNulty’s was their regular hangout and he smelled the mingled scents of beer and hot sauce before he entered. Street level, with wide doorways, it was one of the few local neighborhood bars that could accommodate him and his chair. He entered and paused briefly as his sight adjusted to the dim light. His wheels made a sucking sound as they rolled across the sticky floor. To his left was the bar, teeming with the happy-hour crowd. A cloud of perfume, hairspray and aftershave hung over them. He spared the crowd only a cursory glance as he wheeled to the tables in the back where Joe and several others sat, including his friends Bill and Mark.
“Hey.” Someone gave him a beer and he nodded his thanks. The bottle chilled his skin and provided welcome relief to the stuffiness of the bar.
“How’s it going?” he asked as he sipped the salty, slightly bitter amber froth. He rolled the liquid around in his mouth before swallowing it, prolonging his enjoyment.
Joe, hair slicked away from his forehead, shirt collar undone, gaze roving, was in the midst of a story and all the guys snickered as he wrapped it up. Their regular waitress glided over with more beers, and Joe ogled her chest and patted her rear end as she moved onto another table. Accustomed to his behavior, she winked and sashayed away.
“So anyone do anything interesting this weekend?” Joe dragged his gaze away from the retreating waitress.
“Kim and I went to the movies,” Mark said.
“Yeah, what’d you see?” Bill asked. When Mark answered, Gideon nodded.
“We saw that a couple of weeks ago,” he said.
“We? Who’s we?” Mark asked and turned with interest to him.
“Just my sister and her friend,” Gideon replied as he sipped his beer and searched for the waitress. He wanted to order Buffalo wings, but she was nowhere to be seen.
“Boyfriend?”
“No, a woman.”
Everyone eyed him as if he held the key to a million-dollar treasure chest. Great, just what I need. Spectators.
“Yeah, what’s her name?” Mark asked, his beer forgotten for the moment.
“Lily.” Gideon flagged the waitress and placed his order. He hoped she would distract the rest of the table, but not even her skin-tight, cleavage-bearing halter could divert their attention.
“Is she hot?” Joe’s voice boomed as usual, and drew brief stares from patrons who sat nearby. Joe reminded Gideon of Anne, except he got the feeling she asked filter-less questions out of curiosity. Joe seemed to like the attention. Accustomed to stares, Gideon ignored the extra attention and attempted to wiggle out of this jam. Why did I say anything in the first place? He possessed a decent sense of humor, but there were some things he couldn’t find amusing. His relationship, or lack thereof, with a woman, was one of them. Unfortunately, with Joe’s focus solely on him, it wasn’t possible to avoid it. Regardless of whether or not he thought Lily was hot, if he tempered his opinions, Joe would lose interest as soon as possible.
“She’s nice looking.” He remembered how sexy but understated she was, the sparkle in her eyes when she laughed at Claire, and lilt of her voice.
“Ooh, nice,” Joe hissed as he winced. Then he got serious and asked, “Are you banging her? Because if not, I’ve got someone for you. She’s young, great body and works on Wall Street.”
He repressed a shudder. “Lily’s just a friend, Joe.”
“Well, maybe you should consider Stacy. If it’s the chair you’re worried about, don’t be. She thinks guys in wheelchairs are hot.” He winked and nudged one of the guys next to him.
Gideon cringed. That was all he needed. He didn’t relish the role of sideshow freak. It was one of the reasons he enjoyed Lily’s company so much. She treated him like she would anyone else. Thankfully, Bill stepped in and shifted the attention away from him.
“Speaking of s
etting up, any chance you could set me up with your sister, Gideon?” he asked.
“Yeah, now she’s hot,” added Mark. His hands illustrated her body, and Gideon elbowed him in the ribs.
An urge to protect his sister rose in him and he squashed it, knowing Samantha would hate it. “Watch it, Mark, or I’ll have a chat with Kim.”
Mark raised his arms in the air in surrender and admitted defeat. The table roared, since all of them knew he was smitten with his wife.
“Well, say the word,” Joe said, “and I’ll introduce you to Stacy.”
Gideon grimaced. Joe wasn’t going to drop this, and he wouldn’t let Joe set him up. Even thinking about it made his shoulders curl. Dizziness overwhelmed him. Not only would he have to worry about what Joe would say to Stacy or whatever potential date he thought appropriate, he’d also have to deal with his boss’ follow-up questions and comments. Never happening. He drank his beer, ate his Buffalo wings and made a quick exit. He’d have to develop a plan before the next work event.
****
After leaving work early, Lily waited for Claire outside of school. Built in the 1930’s, the old brick building still showed signs above the doors to mark separate entrances for girls and boys. Inside, the building reeked of floor polish, chalk and cafeteria food. Outside, the bell rang, and children tumbled out the doors in a cacophony of high-pitched voices and vibrant colors.
Finally Claire appeared. She dragged her backpack on the ground. Her rubber soles squished and her key chains clicked on the pavement as she meandered over to her mother. Lily frowned. Claire was usually giddy after a full day of school.
A Heart of Little Faith Page 6