I needed a friend and thought I had finally found one on the other side of that wall. Though I knew it would ruin it, I wanted desperately to run over to his room and hug him tightly, letting him hold me to make me feel safe. Since I knew he would react poorly to me doing such a thing, I did the next best I could think of. Pressing my body firmly against the cold wall, it was almost as if I was making contact with another human, his voice causing vibrations in the wall that slowly soothed my worried body.
“You’re going to be ok. Just relax, ok?” he begged sweetly. I almost started to cry again, touched by his kindness. My body pressed harder against the wall, desperately wishing I could feel him holding me in my time of need.
Given how thin the wall was, I soon heard a noise I didn’t immediately understand. It was a rhythmic sound, something going back and forth, steadily increasing speed. My ear pressed to the wall as I continued to ascertain just what was causing that sound. Back and forth, back and forth, I was still having a hard time trying to figure out what it was. It clearly wasn’t bothering Rorke, he wasn’t saying a thing, not bothered by the sound of that rhythmic whooshing, like fabric rubbing together.
Then it hit me.
“Oh my god, Rorke,” I practically screamed through wall, “are you…masturbating?” The last part, the “m” word, was spoken at a much lower volume, lest anybody hear.
The next thing I heard was the sound of my stepbrother laughing followed by that rhythmic whooshing increasing. “Say my name again!” he yelled out, “Say my name!”
He was so disgusting. No longer sad, instead I was just infuriated. Maybe that was his plan and I should’ve thanked him for that. I buried my face in my pillow and did my best to block out the sound but it was no use; I heard everything. Rorke let out an exasperated grunt before I heard that sound start to slow down. Trying really hard to block it all out, I couldn’t help hearing him softly repeat my name over and over. “Madelyn,” he said before making sharp inhales with his nose, purring “Madelyn…” These thin walls were going to be a major problem.
When it seemed like the coast was clear, I finally pulled my head out of the pillow, hoping to be able to try and relax in the silence. I was soon about to learn that Rorke didn’t exactly exist quietly. Less than a few minutes after I heard him pleasuring himself, he started to make noise again. Though it wasn’t terribly loud, I heard the faint sound of him listening to some music. The distinct sound of a bass line and thumping beat came through the wall and I pressed my ear against it to hear the lyrics when they started.
Back to the wall, one man shall stand. Rise above and conquer them all.
Though it was annoying that he felt the need to lull me to sleep with music, it did help to quiet the negative thoughts swirling in my head. Rorke’s confrontational lullaby sang me off to sleep.
*****
ROUND SIX
****
Rorke
Hubert proudly led me to the center of the ring while calling for everyone to take a quick break; he had an announcement. I prepared myself for the likely ribbing, something to knock me down a few pegs. I had placed a pretty serious wager with him and prepared for him to announce it to the rest of the gym. All was fair, he wasn't going to get me to quit.
"Gentlemen, gentlemen," he yelled loud enough to be heard in all four dirty corners, "Come on over, this will be quick." The broad smile on his face made me suspicious but I continued on with it, had to show him I was a good sport.
"Gentlemen, let me ask you something," Hubert called out again to the crowd, "How many of you are here on a free scholarship?" A few chuckles came up from the crowd. "Anyone coming here without paying a penny?" This time more of the boxers quietly murmured a tense "no".
"Well, my friend right here," the big, meaty paw of the gym owner landed on my shoulder and held on tight, "he's begged me to let him train here...for free. Well, son, you must be having some financial troubles, no?"
The whole crowd knew that I was wealthy, or at least used to be. They weren't aware my father had cut me off from my only source of income and I was practically penniless. Angry mumblings started to grow and throb from the crowd as I got myself into a defensive stance.
"How many of you go work at a job you hate, on top of going to school on top of helping out around the house? Anyone here got a maid?” The laughter coming up from the crowd took a sharp turn towards angry." Anyone here end up handing over every dime they’ve ever made to the family just to try to help out a little? You give every last penny just so the little ones can have some shoes and something to eat. You ever have to do that son?” Hubert asked me directly. I meekly replied "No’ and he continued with his spiel. “Well, surely you’ve been broke before, right? You’ve been so busted you’ve had to choose between taking the bus or saving up for one small meal each day, right?” He didn’t even wait for my response. “What about you guys?” A cheer erupted from the congregated fighters. Their sweaty, well-toned arms rose to the sky, out for blood. My pulse quickened as I watched them slowly getting closer and closer.
"Now, that's a type of person I’d want to work something out with, someone who came to me in need. Many of you know that very well, I never turn away someone just because they’re having some financial difficulties. Little did I know that one day I would have a billionaire come asking me for that very favor. Imagine my shock!"
If the crowd had pitchforks nearby, they'd be waving them around at that point. They wanted my head for what they believed I represented.
"So imagine my shock...when I agreed to it!" Hubert stepped back in mock-amazement, hands up, a look of bewilderment on his face as if he was two different people struggling for control. This just amped the crowd up even more. It was hard not to be mesmerized by his crowd control, he missed his calling as a fight promoter or even as a preacher.
"Settle down, settle down," Hubert got the control back and slightly simmered the collective anger. "My man Rorke here," his hand landed on me again, his huge hand firmly gripping my shoulder, "thinks he's gonna fight in the battle at the end of the month, the one some of you have been training for for over a year.” An angry rumble grew from the audience, he had riled them up again. Hubert motioned his hands for them to settle down again and they did. I think both the crowd and myself were just hanging on, waiting for him to give the command to ‘attack’. My arms remained ready to at least try and defend myself. His famous smile returned and his shoulders shrugged as Hubert announced, “I don’t know about you, but I kind of want to see what happens. See this rich kid get thrown to the lions!”
The crowd went nuts; laughing, hooting and hollering in delight. Hubert had turned their opinion and now they also wanted to see me make an ass of myself. It was a damaging blow to my confidence to see just how sure everyone was that I wouldn’t do very well in the big fight, or any fight for that matter. This whole experiment I had stubbornly pursued continued to become more and more important. Even though I felt I was in way over my head, the grave had been dug and it was up to me to climb out of it.
Once again Hubert masterfully quieted the crowd that he kept lifting up, and relayed more news. “So, y’all know me, you know I like to make deals.” Slight murmurs from the crowd indicated that they agreed with him. “So of course my young friend right here and I were able to come to terms on a rather particular agreement, a deal like I've never done before.” That giant hand landed on my shoulder yet again, taking control of my body and giving a playful, toying shake. “I can’t waste anybody’s time with someone who is just gonna quit on us, can I? What do I always tell you guys?”
“Quitters go home!” the assembled boxers yelled in unison, making my knees a little weak with fear.
“That’s right. Only, my friend here has quite a nice home to go home to, don’t you, son?”
This wasn’t the place to try and explain that I didn’t, in fact, have a home for much longer. My head went down and I stared at my feet, not willing to give them the response that they craved. Hub
ert elaborated for me.
“So, the deal that we both agreed to is that if my friend here quits before his big fight, he’s going to pay me double the purse money from the fight. Double! If he quits at any time, we all get double the purse!”
The crowd let out a roar, they were excited. Hubert spoke over them. “But my friend is also quite...infamous. Him training here will attract some attention, good and bad. Who knows? It could land some sponsorships or maybe some money to fix the place up...This guy coming to me with hat in hand could actually be a little blessing in disguise.” The collected crowd took a moment to ponder what Hubert was telling them and apparently appeared to agree with the conclusion that there was also a benefit in having me stick around. The blood-thirsty assembly nodded their heads, approving of their trainer's brokered deal.
"So you could kind of say," Rorke continued, "that it's very financially profitable for the gym to have this man quit. Meanwhile, it could also be very positive for the gym to have him train here until the fight.”
The boxers outside of the ring had come in even closer, so close they were practically in the ring with Hubert and I. Hubert continued, “So, young men,” he addressed the crowd, “you need to make one of those two things happen, and I don't care which you choose."
Sweat started full-on rolling down my body as I watched Hubert casually slip out of the ring and my fellow gym-mates slowly climb between the ropes. No matter which way I turned, there were fighters coming at me and soon I was surrounded. My head pivoted around just in time for me to see a worn, dark red glove coming right at my face.
*****
ROUND SEVEN
*****
Madelyn
"Madelyn...Madelyn...Madelyn," Suzie, the pleasantly plump office manager repeated as she pecked away on her keyboard. "Hmmmm, I'm just not sure where to put you."
Though I had assumed I was coming in for an interview, my new friend Suzie made it clear that she was ready to start me there right away.
"To be honest, I'm not even sure that we really even have a need for somebody right now. Buuuuut,” she let the word linger as her head tilted to one side, “you do have some friends in high places. I've received orders to place you at once!" Suzie chuckled, trying her best to remain cheerful despite being so ill prepared for my arrival.
"Looks like the sales department and, ooh, the data entry department each could use another set of hands..."
As she continued to type away, I tried to telepathically push her in one direction.
Sales. Sales department. Put me in sales.
My nostrils flared and my eyes got big as I continued to try and mentally lead her towards where I wanted to go. "How does data entry sound?" Suzie asked while finally looking right at me. How does it sound? It sounds terrible Suzie! I couldn’t muster the courage to let her know how I really felt and instead kept a stoic face, trying to be the grateful hire who would do whatever was best for the company. I was the one coming here for a job and should be thankful to find work.
Suzie brought me to my new cubical, smack dab in the middle of hundreds just like it. The room filled with the sounds of keyboard keys being struck rapidly and the buzzing of the fluorescent lights. This was already worse than I imagined.
"Ok, why don't you get settled and when you're ready, there's a stack of files right next to the computer!"
With that, Suzie was gone, likely in a rush to get out of this boring cube farm as fast as possible.
After the computer started and I had looked at some of the spreadsheets, I couldn't believe it. All I had to do was enter the number from the different fields into a database and that was it. Sixteen years of schooling to do something I could've done in kindergarten. After a deep sigh, I did my best to consider myself grateful.
After typing in what felt like a thousand entries, I snuck a glance at the time and my heart fell when I realized only twenty minutes had passed. The stack of files next to me was endless and I wanted to stand up and scream right there in my cube.
"Hey..." a head suddenly popped up over my cubical wall, a cute, brown-haired boy looking right at me. "You new?"
My heart fluttered at the prospect of having actual human interaction. With a genuine smile I stood and extended my hand to him. "Madelyn," I said and waited for his hand to meet mine.
"Yeah, cool. Hey so look, it's Becky in accounting's birthday. We're asking everyone to pitch in for a cake..."
There was a ten-dollar bill in my wallet, the only money I had on me. My plan was for this cash to get something to eat once I was mercifully awarded a break. Without it, I’d have nothing to eat. Though I heard and felt my tummy already rumbling, something told me things would be hard for me if I flubbed my first social opportunity in the workplace.
"I only have a ten..." I said while fishing through my bag as though there might magically be more money in there. My new friend didn't waste any time once the bill appeared in my hand.
"That'll do," he said happily while reaching for the only money I had, snatching it quickly from me. I wanted, no needed, something back as change but after a few moments, it was clear it wouldn’t be coming. Now I didn't even have lunch to look forward to but hey, cake. My new friend disappeared quickly without any indication of when or where I would get some of this super expensive cake. I returned to the mind-numbing typing, dreaming of the dessert that would hopefully arrive soon.
My cellphone had been set to silent but it was the only thing that offered a break from the boredom. Checking it real quick allowed me a temporary escape from the endless stream of numbers. Who was I expecting to call or text? Absolutely no one but I still checked once every half hour. Imagine my surprise when I did notice a new text waiting for me. Imagine the chill that ran over my body when I saw who had sent it.
“Hey” was all Derek’s message read. To the girl whose heart he ripped out and stomped on, Derek could only manage to type “Hey”. My hatred for the man burned with the fury of one thousand suns and grew stronger as I bore witness to his audacity. Did he expect me to come running to him, all is forgiven now that he had texted me one simple, neutral word? What bothered me the most was how he had now invaded my thoughts, barging in at an opportune time. The numbers bored me to tears so instead I pondered my ex-boyfriend though I tried not to. Conflicted, I threw my phone back in my bag and pledged not to check it for the rest of the day.
It was no use trying to concentrate on typing the endless steam of numbers, I couldn't take my mind off of the fact that Derek had texted me. A wide range of emotions made paying attention to the monotonous work impossible. I made a promise to myself to not impulsively message him back until I had at least some time to think it over. Though every ounce of my being wanted him to somehow explain his cheating and to profusely apologize, that hadn't been exactly professed in his text of "Hey".
As I continued to try and take my mind off of Derek, I couldn't help but overhear the sounds of "Happy Birthday" being sung down the hall. Cake would assuredly make things better. Abandoning my post for a moment, I went off in search of the celebration.
It didn't take long to locate the festivities. A conference room was packed with my new coworkers, the room so full that some were left outside of the door, looking in from the windows in the hallway. I joined them on the fringes of the celebration, standing on my tiptoes to get a better look inside. What I saw was a sheet cake being cut into pieces and doled out to those in the room. There had better be enough for me, I had skipped lunch to pay for this damned cake.
Once the crowd started to disperse and I was actually able to get inside, there wasn't any cake left, just crumbs. I knew just how pathetic I would've looked trying to collect a bunch of those, even though I was starving. I saw the money collector from before and he ducked away quick, trying to pretend he didn't even know who I was. I had been had. Though I wanted to approach him for a refund, I was too cautious of making enemies on day one. Retreating to my cubicle with a growling, empty stomach, it reminded me again that n
ot standing up for myself had left me in a bad position yet again.
*****
My first day was spent being bored to tears, leaving me wonder how in the world I was going to be able to keep going in everyday. These were supposed to be the best years of my life and instead, I’d be wasting them away in a cubicle, dreaming of how my life was supposed to be. On that first day, the very second I was given the option to escape, I didn’t ask any questions, bolting out the door like I was on fire. On the way to the parking lot, I checked my phone a couple of times, just to see if anyone besides my cheating ex had messaged me. There was nothing though, leaving me to feel a little empty, much like my stomach.
My car was started and my wheels rolling before any of my coworkers had even arrived outside. Without looking back, I drove off, not towards my freedom but instead to my second prison, hidden away in the detached quarters of my stepfather’s house. Chin up, I reminded myself, it was better than that damned cubicle. Calming music on the radio, a cool breeze from an open window, I tried to relax and enjoy the few moments I would have in what was my only freedom. That meditation was broken when my phone alerted me to another message received. Making sure to keep my safe-driving record intact, I pulled over and put the car in park before checking my phone.
“You there?” was the second message received from the evil ex, Derek. He had somehow been able to figure out when I was at my most vulnerable and chose that time to reach out. I was just lonely and desperate enough to actually consider responding, messaging back the boy who betrayed me in such a vicious way, the boy I had swore off forever.
After a few moments of staring at my phone’s keyboard, trying to come up with an appropriate response, I instead just lightly dropped the phone to the floor under the passenger’s seat. Out of sight so hopefully, eventually, out of mind. My determination was strong and I resolved not to respond to that snake Derek until I had at least figured out the perfect response, one that would quickly put him in his place. That’s where I was conflicted though, it was impossible to pretend that I didn’t have at least a little bit of love still left for him, even after all that he had done. I quickly reminded myself of how stupid I would look if I went crawling back to him. Enough, I demanded of myself, no contact with him until I figure out exactly how I was going to fix my life. For our next interaction I needed to be crushing it so that I could rub in his face what he had screwed up. Even if it wasn’t true, he had to believe it was in order for me to make him grovel. I just hoped I didn’t wait so long that I’d miss my chance to be in control of this. I had to hope he kept trying to reach out so I could make things on my terms, even if I was just going to reject him.
Wrong: A Spoiled Stepbrother Romance Page 5