Beads of perspiration broke out over my body and I whimpered with intense pleasure as Ben guided me on his dick. I leaned down and brushed my tits against his bare chest, shivering with delight at the way his chest hair tickled my sensitive nipples. He slid his fingers between our bodies and rubbed my clit as I rode him. With his other hand, he reached around to my ass and squeezed and spanked me. With every slap, heavenly bliss shot through my body and I gasped and moaned. Soon, we were moving together in a perfectly delicious rhythm, rocking the Land Rover with the effort of our lovemaking.
“Baby, I want you to come for me,” Ben groaned. “Come on my cock, baby. Come for me!”
I gasped and held my breath, straining and riding him hard. My clit felt like it was on fire with the constant stimulation and I cried out and bucked my hips as it grew more intense. In one smooth ecstatic motion, my orgasm broke over my head and I shrieked, burying my face in Ben’s sweaty neck and crying out as the pleasure rocked me over and over and over.
My pleasure set Ben off and he thrust upwards, harder than before, burying his cock in me to the hilt as he began to come. I felt his cock pulse and twitch inside of my clenching pussy and I gasped loudly as he filled me with his seed. We laced our fingers together and clenched each other’s hands as the last of the otherworldly sensations began to fade.
I was still breathing hard and I gently eased off Ben’s still-hard dick, panting and squirming and sweating as I laid my head down on his bare chest. Ben stroked my hair and held me close, pushing the sweaty tangles away from my face.
“I love you,” Ben said, his voice barely audible.
Propping myself up on my elbows, I turned to him.
“Not as much as I love you,” I countered. “And I always will.”
Ben ran a hand down my neck, making me shiver. I smiled softly at him.
“Baby, you know I’ll always support you, right?” I asked quietly. “No matter what you do – I’m your rock. I’m here for you.”
Ben nodded. He leaned forward and kissed me gently, licking the sweat from my lips.
“I know, Jess,” he said. “That’s why I’m the luckiest man on earth.”
As I lay back down and rested my head against his shoulder, I closed my eyes.
In that moment, everything was perfect.
6
Benjamin – Present Day
After the disastrous meet-up with my parents, I laid low for a few days. I should have expected as much. When I’d first joined the Navy, neither Mother nor Father had been supportive.
“What do you think you’re doing, playing?” My father had practically jeered at me when I’d told him the news.
I couldn’t lie – at the time, it had felt like a crushing blow. I had just told Jessie, who had reacted with such happiness and excitement that I felt like I could conquer the world with the support of my girlfriend. To have my parents throw what I thought was an achievement in my face had stung. I thought that I’d done everything right. I’d served in NROTC. I’d gone to OCS, passing with flying colors.
But my parents acted like my enlisting was a slap in their faces.
“I’m not going to sit on your laurels and take your money because I was born into it,” I’d snapped. “I wish you’d respect my decisions.”
Since then, my mother at least had acquired a grudging sort of pride. Having a Navy SEAL for a son was a story she could tell at parties. And while I knew she’d never understand my desire to build an independent life, free of my parents’ wealth, she could at least be thankful for having a son who was willing to give his life in the service of others.
My father, on the other hand, would never come around. Not now, and not ever. When I’d first gone over to their house, I’d planned to tell them my ideas for the future: to retire early and start my own business, a bodyguarding firm based outside of Wilmington.
But the last few days had thrown all of that into question. After seeing Jessie with her child and meeting with my parents, I was looking at a major move. Somewhere across the globe – Taiwan, or Seoul. Somewhere I could go and start fresh.
The problem was that deep down, I didn’t want to start fresh. I wanted to pick my life up from where it had left off, years ago. I wanted to get back together with Jessie, to fulfill our plans of going to Vegas and getting married and having a whole house full of kids.
If that wasn’t an option, I didn’t know what I would do.
A few days later, I knew I had to do something. I called my younger sister, Margot, who just so happened to be one of the only people on the planet who I felt comfortable talking to. We met at a bar in downtown Wilmington and I ordered a pitcher as I waited for her.
Margot breezed in a couple of minutes after I’d sat down. She gave me a hug and smirked at me.
“You got bigger,” she said, playfully punching me in the arm. “You do anything but bulk up in the Navy?”
I snorted. “Nothing I can talk about,” I said.
Margot raised an eyebrow at me, then hopped onto the adjacent bar stool. At twenty-six, she was almost as tall as I was. The resemblance between us didn’t end there, either. Like me, Margot had blue eyes and dark hair. But she also had a flashing, hot temper that at times, reminded me of Jessie. While my parents had never exactly been proud of me, Margot was undoubtedly the black sheep of the family. She’d left home at nineteen and supported herself since then, which was something I admired more than I would ever dream of admitting. Her lean, toned arms were dotted with tattoos and I saw she’d added several new piercings to her face.
“I missed you, kid,” Margot said after pouring herself a mug of beer and taking a long swallow.
I snorted. “Kid? I’m older than you,” I said.
Margot rolled her eyes at me. “Yeah, well, I haven’t heard shit from you in years. You forget you have a family, too?”
Shaking my head, I reached for my beer. “No,” I said. “My assignment ... well, it went on a lot longer than I was promised initially. This is the first time I’ve been back since I left.”
My sister’s expression softened and she nodded. “I’m just giving you a hard time,” she said. “I knew you were back. Mom actually called me – can you believe that?”
“What? No,” I said. “What’d she have to say.”
Margot took another slurp of beer and set the mug down on the sticky bar top. “That you were back. That you went to see her and Daddy Dearest and that things didn’t go so well. Mom says you’re being obstinate.”
I laughed drily. “Yeah, well, I was there for about fifteen minutes and she hurled a slew of former debutantes at me. Said some shit about how now that I’m back, I need to think about settling down and getting married.”
“Sounds fun,” Margot cracked. “And so utterly like you, too.”
Giving her a dark look, I poured myself a second mug of beer. I vowed that I wasn’t going to let myself get hammered like I had days before, but I could already feel the alcohol working its magic in my stomach.
“I shouldn’t have gone over there without a plan,” I admitted.
“So, uh, what are your plans, exactly?” Margot asked.
I shifted on the stool. “I don’t know. I thought about retiring and starting this agency on my own, but I don’t know now.”
“What changed?”
An image of Jessie, curvaceous and saucy, popped into my head and my stomach twisted uncomfortably. I thought about how it had felt to see her outside, playing with her kid, happy and oblivious to my near presence. I’d always thought that the attraction between us was stronger than anything – that we were like magnets who could always sense each other.
Now, I knew that either I’d been wrong the entire time or that we’d had that, once.
Not anymore.
Margot gave me a sharp look. “Hey,” she said. “I asked you a question. What happened?”
“I saw Jessie,” I said finally. “I looked her up on Facebook and found her address. When I drove over there, I saw
her playing with this little kid on the lawn.”
Margot didn’t say anything – she was suddenly very busy with pouring herself more beer from the pitcher.
“Have you heard anything from her? Or about her, like, in the last few years?” I asked pointedly.
My sister gave me an evasive shrug. “Not really,” she said. “Wilmington isn’t such a small place, Ben. I’ve been busy – you know I started apprenticing at this tattoo shop?”
“Don’t change the subject,” I told her.
Margot sighed. “Look,” she said. “I ... I love you, but I don’t really know what you want me to say here.”
“What does that even mean?”
“Like ... hey, you know, you left. You didn’t tell her anything – I get that you couldn’t tell her anything, but still. What did you expect?”
I stared at her for a long moment. If anyone but Margot had said that to me, I would have been unreasonably pissed off. Even coming from her, the words stung. I knew she was right – she usually was – but that didn’t make it hurt any less.
All of the pain and anger I was feeling at the moment – that was all on me. It was all my fault.
“You know I couldn’t say anything,” I said. “It was very secret. I thought she would understand. She was the one who was always supporting me and telling me that she’d be there for me.”
Margot narrowed her eyes at me and took a long drink of beer.
“Times change. People change,” she replied slowly. “People grow up. And what did you expect, anyway? That she’d waste almost the entire decade of her twenties? Waiting for you, like a puppy?”
Hot anger rose in me and I swallowed, forcing it back down into my gut. Under the bartop, I clenched my hands into fists and squeezed my nails into my palms.
I was mad. I was beyond mad – I was fucking furious.
Not with Margot, though. She was entirely correct in everything that she’d said. And now that she’d spoken the words out loud, I had to wonder just how delusional I’d been in the first place.
I was mad at myself. I had put my career over my woman, and now I had lost her forever.
“I’ll get her back,” I muttered, slamming down the last of my beer. Maybe drinking hadn’t been a good idea – the alcohol was doing little other than making me even angrier and more determined. Still, I poured myself the last of the pitcher and stared down into my mug for a long moment.
“What?” Margot asked. She scooted closer. “What did you just say?”
I turned to her and squared my shoulders.
“I’ll get her back,” I repeated.
Margot blinked at me. “Ben,” she said. “She has a child now. What if she’s married? What if she has some hothead husband, some Southern asshole who’s going to come after you with a .45 caliber?”
“She wouldn’t marry anyone like that,” I retorted.
Margot’s eyes got wide and she blinked at me. “But the fact that she married someone at all ... and you want to go in there and break up her marriage? Really?”
I couldn’t think of anything to say to that. She was supposed to be with me, I thought, even though I knew it sounded childish beyond words. Not some jerk.
“We were made for each other,” I said finally. “Don’t you get that?”
Margot had a strange look on her face as she shook her head.
“Ben, you need to be careful,” she said. “You shouldn’t meddle in someone else’s relationship.”
I barely heard her. There was a small, rational part of me – tucked away in the recesses of my brain – that knew she was right. That I should just move on, that I should let Jessie live her life without me.
After all, she’d moved on.
Why couldn’t I?
But that part was dominated by another part. The masculine urge to take her into my arms again, to tell her the truth, to promise that I’d never have to leave her side for the rest of our lives.
I have to find out if she’s happy, I told myself. If she’s happy, then I’ll be able to accept it and move on.
I just hoped that I could keep that promise.
7
Jessie
“Are you excited?” I asked Olive, eyeing her in the rearview mirror. She was buckled into her booster seat – the “big kid” version of her carseat – and when she caught my glance, she clapped and cheered.
“Yes,” Olive sang.
“Good,” I said. “Because all of your aunties and uncles are going to be there, too – isn’t that nice?”
Olive nodded and chirped happily as I maneuvered my car out of the apartment complex’s parking lot and onto the highway. We were going to have dinner with my parents, something I tried to do at least a couple of times per month, and to be honest, I was thankful for the distraction that my eight siblings would provide.
Ever since I’d had that dream about Benjamin coming home and dropping to one knee in a desperate apology, I hadn’t been able to concentrate on anything else. I was normally well-liked at work and got on famously with my coworkers, but that week my boss had pulled me into her office and asked if everything was okay.
“Everything’s fine,” I’d lied as I’d shifted nervously in the chair. “Why?”
My boss, Donna, had peered at me over the rims of her glasses. “Normally, you’re our hardest worker,” she said. “I’ve never seen an administrative professional as dedicated as you are – most people just take that job while they finish school.”
I paused, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“But you’ve been distracted the last few days,” Donna said. She frowned as she held up a calendar. “You made the event schedule for next week and look, there are three things missing – and you misspelled the band’s name for our meet and greet.”
My heart sank. “I’m sorry,” I told her. “Really, I am. It won’t happen again.”
Donna looked relieved. “I really like having you on the team, Jessie,” she said. “And if there’s anything I can do to help out, please let me know.”
Leaving her office, I’d felt a heady blend of shame and embarrassment. While it was no secret to Jared and Henny that Benjamin had been on my mind all these years, I’d managed to keep that part of myself locked up and compartmentalized from everyone else.
And until now, I felt that I’d done a pretty decent job of it, too. But now, I wondered, was I starting to slip?
Was there anything else I could do about it?
Olive shrieked from the backseat, breaking my reverie and I heard a loud, blaring honk from behind me.
“Mommy, the light’s green,” Olive observed. “Go!”
“Sorry, hon,” I said as I held up an apologetic hand for the car behind me. “Mommy’s a little distracted today, that’s all.”
Olive nodded, as if she understood just what I was going through.
I cracked the windows of the car and inhaled the fresh sea air as I drove. The day – another freakishly warm one for February – had brought the first tourists out from the middle of the state, and we sat in traffic before crossing the bridge to Leland, where my parents had their large house on several acres. By the time we got there, the driveway was loaded with the cars of my siblings and Olive was practically wailing with excitement as I unbuckled her booster seat and gently set her down on the ground. With a shriek and a loud cry, Olive darted across the lawn and did a clumsy cartwheel, falling to the grass and laughing.
“Come on, hon,” I said, holding out my hand to her. “Gramma and Granpop are going to be so happy to see you!”
The din inside my parents’ house was so loud I could hear it before I even opened the door. Growing up as one of nine children, I had a natural tolerance for loud noises but sometimes, I forgot just how crazy and rowdy my family could be. After living on my own for several years, going back to my parents’ house always made me remember what it was like to be surrounded by constant chaos.
The door flew open just as I put my hand to the knob and my youngest
brother, Jack, grinned at me. At seventeen, Jack was the only one of my siblings still living at home. He pulled me into a tight bear hug, then released me and squatted down.
“Hey, kiddo,” Jack said to Olive. “Want a piggy-back ride?”
Olive squealed with excitement and Jack picked her up, then carried her inside. Chuckling to myself, I walked into the foyer and kicked off my shoes. The house was a mess of loud voices and banging sounds coming from the kitchen, and the familiar sounds made me grin.
“Hey,” I shouted as I walked into the kitchen. “We’re here!”
Mom and Dad were sitting at the table with Jared and all of our other siblings aside from Jack – Jasmine, Jakob, Jennifer, Jason, Jellyn, and my youngest sister, Joy, who was in college. They all cheered when they saw me and I laughed as Mom got to her feet and pulled me into a hug.
“My big girl,” she said, patting me on the shoulder.
My smile faded slightly. I was the only one in the family who wasn’t petite and while I knew that my parents loved me, sometimes I got the odd feeling that my mother was poking fun of my figure.
“Nice to see you, too,” I said. Mom pulled away and peered into my face.
“Honey, you look so tired,” she said. “You wanna go lie down?”
I laughed briefly. “Yeah, like I could get any rest with all this going on,” I said as I gestured to my siblings. “But I’m fine – just a little worn out, that’s all.”
Jared, my twin brother, got up and gave me a one-armed hug.
“Nice to see you, sis,” he said. “You staying for dinner?”
I nodded. “Olive made me promise that we’d stay for dessert, too,” I replied. “She really missed Mom’s cherry cake.”
Secret Baby: A Second Chance Navy SEAL Romance (Forbidden First Times Book 4) Page 5