I had already lost him once – I just couldn’t do it again.
The nurse gave Olive some antibiotics with a cup of apple juice and then bustled away, leaving me lost in thought until Olive started coughing again.
“Honey,” I said suddenly, turning to her and cocking my head to the side.
“What is it, Mommy,” Olive asked. She sounded miserable, and my heart went out to her. She was being so brave – at her age, if the same thing had happened to me, I would have been freaking out.
“Ben is really wonderful, isn’t he?” I asked.
Olive nodded. “I like him,” she said, sounding far more content than she had a minute ago. “He smells good.”
I laughed and bit the inside of my mouth to keep from blushing.
“He does,” I admitted. “I like being with him a lot.”
Olive gave me a strange look.
I took a deep breath. “We all want to be a family together,” I said. “You and me and Ben. What do you think about that?”
Olive nodded. “Like, a real Mommy and Daddy?”
“Yes,” I said. “Just like that.”
The curtain to Olive’s room opened and Ben stepped inside. He was carrying her favorite stuffed manta ray – from a visit to the Wilmington aquarium the year before – and some books from her room.
“You know, Olive,” Ben began. “I have a younger sister named Margot.”
“That’s a funny name,” Olive replied.
“Olive!” I said. “That isn’t a very nice thing to say.”
Olive giggled. “Sorry, Mommy,” she said.
Ben chuckled. “Don’t worry,” he said. “She thought the same thing when she was your age – she used to say that she couldn’t wait to grow up and change her name to Esmeralda.”
Olive giggled again.
“But when she used to get sick, I’d read to her,” Ben said. “I thought you might like me to do that for you.”
Olive blushed and turned away, suddenly shy.
“Yes, please,” she said, turning back to Ben and nodding.
Ben cleared his throat, then opened one of the books and began reading all about a little girl named Charlotte and her new pig, Wilbur. Olive listened with rapt attention at first, then snuggled back against the pillows and held her octopus close. Ben’s voice was soothing and melodious and even though I had read the book dozens of times, hearing him read it out loud made it sound new and fresh.
And though I was exhausted and worried sick about Olive, watching Ben with our daughter was the most touching thing I had ever seen. I hoped that we weren’t moving too fast for her – I knew that when kids were involved, one was always supposed to take dating slow.
But Ben is her father, I thought. Her actual father –this isn’t like we’re moving too fast and playing house.
Ben got three chapters into Charlotte’s Web before Olive was yawning and nodding off to sleep. He trailed off at the end of a sentence, then turned to me.
“Are you going to spend the night here?”
I nodded. The prospect of sitting on the hard plastic chair for hours was unpleasant, but I couldn’t bear to think about Olive being here alone while I was at home, warm and comfy in bed.
“I’ll run out and get us some coffee,” Ben said quietly. He got to his feet, then leaned down and kissed me. Just before he left the room, he turned to Olive and I watched as a tender, protective smile spread over his face. The sight of it was enough to make my heart swell, and happy tears filled my eyes as Ben blew his daughter a kiss and went off to get me coffee.
28
Benjamin
Watching Jessie worry over Olive nearly had me sick, but stepping up was the only thing to do. After the hospital released her the next day, I drove them both home to Jessie’s and then went out to the store where I stocked up on chicken soup, saltine crackers, and a box of every single different kind of gummies that they had in stock. When I went over to Jessie’s, Olive was bundled up on the couch, watching Disney movies. She was clearly feeling better but her cough was still raspy and her face was pale.
“I brought sick-time snacks,” I said, setting the bags of groceries down on the counter.
Jessie laughed incredulously. “Who eats gummies when they’re sick?” She teased.
I shrugged. “They had all those Frozen characters and My Little Pony things on them,” I said. “I thought she might get a kick out of it.”
Jessie grinned at me. Love shone in her eyes as she stepped closer and kissed me, pressing her delectable curves into my body and making lust prickle across the back of my neck.
“You’re wonderful,” Jessie said. She kissed me again. “Olive, Ben brought you snacks. Isn’t that nice?”
Olive managed to tear her eyes away from the TV as she turned to face us and nod. She opened her mouth to reply but another fit of coughing hit her and she turned red in the face as she covered her mouth with her little hands.
“It’s okay, sweetheart,” I said. “You don’t have to say anything.”
Olive’s coughing went on and on and I turned to Jess.
“Is that normal?” I asked skeptically. “She doesn’t sound so good.”
Jessie nodded. Her brow was furrowed with concern and there were dark circles under her eyes. Even though she’d have looked gorgeous in a burlap sack, I could tell that she was exhausted.
“The doctor said she’d sound like that for a couple of weeks, but that it sounds worse than it is. As long as she finishes the round of antibiotics, she should be feeling much better in a few days.”
“You look like you could use a long bath,” I said. “And then a nap.”
“Yeah, well, sleeping in a hospital chair does not make for a fun time the next morning,” Jessie said. She winced and put her hand on her lower back, turning and showing off her round ass.
“Luckiest night that chair ever had,” I said under my breath.
Jessie giggled and swatted me. “You’re terrible,” she teased.
“Seriously,” I told her. “Why not take a bath and relax for a while?”
Jessie’s eyes moved over my shoulder, to where Olive lay on the couch.
“Only if you’re sure that you don’t mind,” she said. “And I won’t be long – I just have to wash my hair, it’s driving me insane.”
“You’re beautiful,” I told her. Lacing my fingers with hers, I pulled Jessie in for a light kiss on the lips. She squeezed my hand and then practically jogged down the hall and into the bathroom. I watched her go, admiring the swing of her wide, rounded hips and ass from side to side and wishing I could join her in the shower.
“Is it okay if I join you?” I asked Olive. She nodded and I sat down at the end of the couch, just by her feet. She curled closer under the blanket and coughed.
“Are you gonna be okay, sweetheart?” I asked.
Olive nodded. “They gave me juice at the hops-pittal,” she said.
“Would you like some juice now?”
Olive nodded again, more shyly this time. I got to my feet and went into the kitchen where I poured her a glass of apple juice and ice cubes. When I got back, Olive took it with both hands, like a little squirrel, and drank greedily.
“It’s important to stay hydrated,” I told her.
The two of us turned our attention back to the movie –a live-action remake of Aladdin – and watched in companionable silence. It felt so good just sitting there with her, like I was getting to know my daughter.
And it was wonderful. Here was this little person, who Jessie and I made. Who had grown in Jessie’s belly and stretched and slumbered.
And all the while, I’d been oblivious to the fact that she existed.
It was disconcerting, but there was nothing I could do now other than to move past it and build a relationship with her as best as I could.
Jessie didn’t take long in the shower and when she walked out, smelling fresh and floral with her tangles of wet hair around her shoulders, I grinned.
�
��You look like a new woman,” I told her.
“Scoot,” Jessie said to me. She raised an eyebrow and I slid over, leaving just enough room for her to plop down between me and Olive. I put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close against my body, savoring the simple closeness of the warmth of her skin on mine.
Here we are, I thought. As American as the fucking Waltons. Just Mom, Dad, and the kid, watching a movie on a sick day.
The feeling was so nice that I never wanted it to end.
When the movie was over, Jessie turned to me.
“Olive’s passed out cold,” she whispered. “I think the two of us should get some sleep.” She hesitated, gnawing on her plump lower lip. “You want to stay? We could just take a nap and then get up later and make some dinner. I think I have some pasta or something.”
I cupped her face in my hands and leaned in for a kiss, a real kiss, with tongue and lips tasting each other. Jessie melted in my hands, moving closer and pushing her ripe tits against my chest. She wasn’t wearing a bra under the t-shirt she’d changed into and I felt her nipples growing stiff and hard. By the way she moved and strained against me, I could tell that she was already powerfully aroused. My cock stiffened and grew hard in my pants and it was all I could do not to scoop her into my arms and carry her into the bedroom, just like that.
“God, I want to stay, but I can’t promise that we’ll do any sleeping,” I murmured as we broke apart.
Jessie turned over her shoulder and looked at Olive, slumbering peacefully on the couch. She gave me a guilty smile.
“Yeah, but what if she walked in on us? I’d feel so bad,” she whispered.
I chuckled. “You know, what? I was actually supposed to meet Margot for a drink. Why don’t I do that and then come over for dinner afterwards?”
Jessie grinned. “See,” she teased as she leaned in and batted her eyelashes against my cheek. “You always have the best ideas. That’s why I love you.”
I smirked at her. “My best idea was you,” I replied. Getting to my feet, I stretched and discreetly adjusted my package, which was still unfortunately hard and throbbing from Jessie’s kiss and the feel of her tits against my body. She giggled like a schoolgirl as I did so and rolled her eyes, then got to her feet and hugged me one more time.
“I love you,” Jessie said. “Tell your sister I said hi.”
I nodded. “I love you, too,” I replied. “And I will.”
Wrenching myself away from Jessie and our still-sick daughter was hard, but I was anxious to see Margot and tell her that Jessie and I had gotten back together, for real.
And if all continued going as well as it was, maybe soon Jessie and I would be married and living together.
I hummed under my breath as I walked to the Land Rover, climbed in behind the wheel, and drove into town. Spring was here, for real, and there were groups of people clustered around the bars and restaurants. I had to maneuver my way through the crowd with some difficult before I found Margot, perched at the bar, with a mug of beer in her hand.
“You’re late,” she said by way of greeting.
“I was with Jessie,” I explained. “Her kid – our kid – was sick last night and spent the night in the hospital.”
Margot blinked in alarmed surprise.
“She’s fine,” I said. “Just bronchitis, but she’s got a bad cough.”
“And ... you’re hanging out with them as a ... friend?” Margot asked skeptically. She took a long swallow of beer and brushed her dark hair away from her brow.
“As Olive’s father. And Jessie’s boyfriend,” I said.
Somehow, the word didn’t sound quite so magical when it came out of my mouth and not Jessie’s. It sounded weird and awkward, like the kind of thing a forty-year-old virginal dude would say.
“Boyfriend?” Margot repeated. She snorted. “Jesus, you’re in deep.”
I rolled my eyes at her as I flagged down the bartender and ordered a mug for myself, as well as a pitcher to share.
“So, you got back together,” she said finally.
I nodded. “Obviously.”
“And ... does she know about this little plan of yours,” Margot continued.
I groaned. My beer arrived and I drained half of it in one gulp, savoring the yeasty taste as it went sliding coldly down my throat.
“I was literally about to propose to her. Last night. And then she got the call about her kid, and we had to go, and I didn’t feel like the moment was right after that.”
Margot gave me a blank look.
“What,” I said defensively. “Are you telling me that you don’t like her? I know you guys weren’t exactly friends, but come on – she’s the one for me.”
Margot shook her head. “No,” she said. “It’s not that I don’t like it – I don’t really know her that well, Ben. But this is happening really fast. I mean, you just got back together and now you’re really going to ask her to marry you?”
I didn’t answer. I hadn’t thought it was fast, to be honest. I had figured that with our past and everything that lay between us, it was the next obvious step.
The only logical step, even.
“No,” I said slowly. “I didn’t think that at all.”
“Not to mention, you’re still lying to Mom and Dad,” Margot added. “I thought you’d come clean when you got her back?”
I shook my head. “No,” I said, still shaking my head. “I want to marry her. I need to marry her.”
“Mom and Dad are going to be so fucking pissed when they find out it’s her,” Margot said. She rolled her eyes at me and wagged a finger. “And even more so when they find out that made up a completely fictional woman in her place.”
I narrowed my eyes and frowned. Picking up my beer, I took a long swig and refilled my mug from the pitcher.
“You’re going to have to come clean, you know. Sooner rather than later,” Margot added. She opened her mouth to say something else and closed her lips, as if thinking the better of whatever retort she’d had in mind.
“I know,” I said finally. “You don’t have to play bad cop with me. I know that it was a shitty lie, but what could I do? You know how Mom is,” I added. “You know her.”
Margot was silent for a moment.
“Look,” she said. “Don’t get totally pissed at me for saying this, but after all this time and moving so fast, what do you even know about her anymore?”
I resisted the urge to glare at her.
“Do you know that that kid, Olive, or whoever – is she even yours?”
Anger erupted inside of me and before I could stop myself, I got to my feet and shoved my hands in my pockets.
“Look,” I snapped. “This might be hard for you to understand because I get that being oh so cynical and pragmatic is your thing, but how the fuck would you like it if someone questioned you like that, huh? Jessie is a good woman – the best woman I’ve ever met, and there’s no way that she’d fucking go and lie to me like that.”
Margot looked stunned.
“Ben, chill,” she said. “You don’t have to lose your temper. Look, I’m just trying to be your protective baby sister, okay? I’m not trying to start a war.”
“And that little girl is absolutely mine,” I continued hotly. “You only have to look at her for a second to know that.”
Margot didn’t reply, but her eyes were huge and her mouth was slightly open as she stared up at me.
“This is just like before,” I said, shaking my head in disgust. “When my entire fucking family wanted to tear us apart, just because she doesn’t come from money.”
“Ben, that’s not what I’m doing—”
I held up a hand to silence her.
“Margot, enough,” I said coldly. “We’re back together now, and nothing is going to change that.”
And before my sister could reply, I strode angrily out of the bar.
29
Jessie
It didn’t take long for Olive to bounce back. A week afte
r her night in the hospital, her cough was all but gone and she was zooming and racing around the apartment.
“Mommy just has to wait for Aunt Henny to get here,” I said, hoping that she’d soon start to run out of steam. “And then Mommy’s going to the store and she’s going to buy things to make for Ben, when he comes over for dinner tomorrow.”
Olive gave me an expectant look, like she was a dog and I her master who had just said ‘walk’.
“I know, Mommy hasn’t always been the ... well, the best cook, but she’s going to learn,” I continued. “And you can help me in the kitchen, how does that sound?”
Olive didn’t look convinced. Deep down, I wasn’t either. I wasn’t sure why I was suddenly going into a fit of what could only be called ‘nesting’ – buzzing around my apartment and making it clean and tidy. Staying up late and ordering cookbooks on Amazon, when the most complicated thing I had ever made was pasta from a box. Going through my wardrobe and deciding what could stay and what was so filled with holes and runs that it was embarrassing.
It had to do with Ben, with the return of our love. It wasn’t that I thought he wanted some cute little housewife, but I wanted to do nice things for him. I wanted to spend hours making a delicious meal and see the smile on his face when he took the first bite (and maybe the strangled frown, when he realized that I still couldn’t cook worth a damn).
I wanted to try. I wanted to be a family with him and Olive, and if this was the way to do it, well, then I figured it was trial by fire (and I bought a small extinguisher for the kitchen, just in case).
Just as I was about to text Henny and ask where she was, my phone rang.
“Hey, you,” I said. “Psychic friends – where are you?”
Henny groaned. “Jess, I am so sorry,” she said. “But I got held up at work. I can’t make it over to watch Olive. Can you ask Jared? Or Ben?”
I sighed. “Jared’s out,” I said. “And Ben ... well, then he’d find out what I was doing and it wouldn’t be a surprise.”
Secret Baby: A Second Chance Navy SEAL Romance (Forbidden First Times Book 4) Page 18