“A radish spirit would be cool.” Sasha reached out and grabbed a Kit Kat without looking. He bit into it his face contorting with disgust. I laughed as he sat up and spat out the offending candy. “What the hell was that?”
I read the wrapper. “Red bean paste sandwich.”
“But I like red bean paste,” he glared, betrayal glittering in his eyes.
“Yeah, I know, it didn’t work for me either.” Reaching out, I grabbed several candy bars. “Here, try the cinnamon cookie and the strawberry. Both are good.”
Sasha sniffed them before trying them. “Okay, these are worth eating.”
I lay against Sasha eating chips and watching the movie. Very glad to have a friend with me. I was tired of being alone all the time.
* * *
I groaned. Who was banging on my door so early in the morning?
“Make it stop,” Sasha muttered, his voice rough with sleep.
“Ugh. Coming.” I pushed myself up. The one working brain cell thought to cram the beanie onto my head. Wrappers crunched as I walked. My mouth tasted gross and some weird film covered my teeth.
“Sapphire,” Hiroshi said. His anxiety zipped around me. I tried to focus enough to put up my shields. I hadn’t seen him since his fifteenth birthday party. I figured he was upset after the karaoke incident, and I’d left him alone.
“Hey, what’s up? Are you okay?”
“I need to talk to you.” His nose scrunched. “What is that smell?”
“Not me,” Sasha said kicking off the covers.
Hiroshi’s face turned red and he looked away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize. I can leave.”
“Stop. I’m not awake enough for this. Give me a minute. Sit, don’t leave. Have a Kit Kat, or some chips.” I hunted for my toothpaste, mouthwash, and floss.
“Um, okay. Thanks.” Hiroshi looked everywhere but at me or Sasha.
“We are fully clothed,” Sasha said. “We were watching movies and fell asleep. Sapphire is my friend and family.”
“Oh, yes. Well, it’s not any of my business. But thank you for explaining.”
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll be right back.” I went down the hall to the washroom.
“So what’s up, Hiroshi?” I asked once I was cleaner and minty fresh.
“Not the sun,” said Sasha, who looked GQ perfect once again.
Hiroshi opened his bag and pulled out a sketch book. “My Phoenix gift is some kind of weird drawing thing. I wake in the morning and start to draw. I don’t know what the picture is until I’m done.”
“That’s interesting.” I walked over to him to look at the sketch pad.
“These are just single images. I don’t know what they mean. I can’t put them into context.” Hiroshi sighed, the metallic gold flecks in his eyes glittered, a physical symbol of his Phoenix heritage. “I told Miu I needed to see you. But she wouldn’t let me. And my parents went along with whatever she and Emiko said.”
He opened the first page, a drawing of Emiko holding leashes attached to Taliesin and Miu.
At first I wanted to laugh, but the darkness of the drawing got to me. Emiko’s pretty face twisted into a sneer and Miu and Taliesin’s eyes looked blank. “Do you think this is happening?”
“It would explain a lot,” said Sasha.
“And do you think she’s somehow got them bound to her, or this a metaphor for the power she wields over them?” I shivered as I looked at Taliesin and Miu’s blank eyes.
“Maybe,” Hiroshi said. “Miu has been acting differently.”
“So has Taliesin,” Sasha said.
“We need to figure out how accurate your drawings are. What do you think, Hiroshi?”
“I don’t know if any of these are real.” Hiroshi flipped a page and there I was holding out my braid, a knife in the other hand starting to cut into it.
“Yeah, okay. So that’s real.” I took off my hat and shook out my butchered hair.
“Sapphire,” Hiroshi gasped. “But why?”
“I had a bad dream.” I cleared my throat. “Any other pictures?”
“Yes, two more.” The first was me wrapped in a white and silver dragon. Zennyo Ryūō glared from the page, but held me protectively, a glowing katana in one clawed hand.
“I’ve met this dragon, he’s very nice.” And he wanted to keep me. I smiled, until Hiroshi turned the page.
My hair floated in the dark blue water. My eyes full of fear. Bubbles leaving my parted lips. “I don’t know how to swim.”
“Maybe we should stay away from the ocean then,” Sasha said.
“I hadn’t thought of that. Thank goodness you’re here.” I poked him in the side making him squeal.
“There is also this one.” Hiroshi flipped the page. A dragon’s hand, the sharp claws dripping with blood.
“That does not look promising,” I said.
“Maybe it’s the dragon that protected you in the other picture,” Hiroshi said.
“Yeah maybe.” I frowned. It didn’t feel protective. I rubbed my chest.
“How about, we are cautious but hopeful?” Sasha suggested.
“That sounds good.”
Hiroshi’s phone rang. He winced. “That’s my mom. She must have gone in to wake me.”
“You left your house without telling anyone?” I said. My voice higher pitched then I had intended.
“I had to, they wouldn’t let me see you. And I needed to show these to you.” Hiroshi’s thin dark eyes looked into mine as if he needed to make me understand how important it was he come to me.
I hugged him. His anxiety lessened. “Okay, I’m sorry, but your mom must be scared. Why didn’t you call or text me?”
“I couldn’t find your number in my phone. I think someone erased it.”
“What? No.” I stomped around the room until I found my phone. My hands shook as I scrolled through the contacts. “Someone took your number from my phone too. Give it to me again.”
Hiroshi told me his number and I sent him a text then added a password on my phone. “Put me under a different name.”
“Good idea.” Hiroshi smiled as he typed. “There, no one will find you even if they can get into my phone now. I suppose I have to call my mom back.”
“Yes, you have to call your mom,” Sasha said. “I bet she’s scared right now.”
Sighing, Hiroshi called. He spoke in Japanese. I tried to ignore what he said, it felt rude to eavesdrop. And I wasn’t sure if he remembered I can understand any Child of Fire no matter what language they speak.
“I have to go. My mom is planning on grounding me forever,” Hiroshi picked up his sketch pad.
“Wait. Can I take pictures of them for the others to see?”
“Sure. Maybe I’ll get to see you later. If I’m ever allowed out of my room again.”
“Thank you for coming.” I hugged him tight.
“You’re welcome. I’ll text you and let you know what happened.”
“’Bye Hiroshi, and good job sneaking out.” Sasha hugged him giving him a few manly slaps on the back.
“Yeah, it was. Until I got caught. See you guys later.”
“’Bye. Poor Hiroshi.” I began picking up wrappers from the floor. I was never eating this much junk food ever again.
“Hey,” said Sasha. “How about we run this morning instead of working out with the others. Then I can go with you to get your haircut.”
“I can’t hide this.” I tugged on one red streaked black curl.
“No, I’m not suggesting that you hide it. But, right now it’s bad. Like scary bad, because it’s all different lengths.”
“I look that bad?”
“No. Yes, but no it’s not that you look bad.” He touched my hair. “I can see how upset, how desperate you were when you cut it.”
“Oh, that makes sense. No need to make everyone freak out more than necessary.”
“Yes,” Sasha nodded. “I’ll text Michael and let him know what we’re doing. Meet you dow
nstairs in twenty minutes.”
“Okay.” I put the beanie back on and began gathering my stuff.
Chapter Sixteen
Miu twisted my arm, harder and faster than I expected. Going with the movement I rolled over her back completing the throw. Exhaling as I hit the floor. I kept my head up. The head is not a point of contact.
“Nice landing, Sapphire, but let Miu get to the point in the move where you feel her actually controlling your movements,” Shin said.
“I will if she calms down. We have a performance tonight; I need my shoulder.”
“Too bad you can’t dream of Akasha and heal anymore. Then you wouldn’t be such a baby about these things,” Miu said and then flipped her two long braids over her shoulder. I felt like she was mocking me even though I’d kept my hair covered.
Shin frowned at Miu. “I think that’s enough for today. Stretch and cool off.”
“It’s more than enough,” Philip said. His blue eyes looked us over. His salt and pepper Mohawk was down and hung over the left side of his head. A strong protective feeling washed over me.
“You're here,” I said running over to him, Kayin and Shin right behind me.
“I told you I’d come.” Philip smiled. “Come on give us a hug.”
I wrapped my arms around his muscular stocky waist. He felt so grounded. So strong. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me, too. Do I even want to know why you’re wearing a hat?”
“Yeah, but say hi to the others first. Then we’ll talk.” I stepped back.
He arched an eyebrow at me then nodded. “Okay, you, me, lunch and lots of words.”
“Yes, of course.” I moved away and stretched out as the others came and said hello. Shin and Kayin both hugged Philip. Taliesin seemed torn as to what to do, but Philip grabbed him and squeezed him tight picking him up off the ground. Miu and Sasha shook his hand, they’d never spent much time with him before we started touring.
“Philip, my mom insisted you come back to my house and have lunch with my family,” Miu said. “They are very interested in meeting you since you’ll be watching out for me.”
Well, there goes lunch. I sighed and placed my head on my shins, stretching the backs of my legs.
“Please tell your mom thank you, and I’d love to come some other time. Today I need to get things settled here.” Philip smiled at her. “Ready Sapphire? I’m starving.”
“But Philip my mom has made a special meal.” Miu frowned at him.
“If I had known ahead of time I would have rescheduled with her.” Philip walked over to me and held out his hand. I took it and let him pull me off the floor.
“But …,” Miu began.
“I’ll see you all later. I can’t wait to watch the show tonight.” Philip walked to the door.
I grabbed my bag and rushed after him. “What do you want to eat?”
“In Japan, sushi. And I haven’t exchanged my money, so you’re buying.” Philip grinned.
“No way. I’ve seen how much sushi you can eat! I’ll use Gavin’s credit card.”
“Even better. While we walk tell me about Miu and Taliesin.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Everything.”
* * *
Philip took me to a restaurant that had private rooms. We sat on tatami mats and Philip ate plate after plate of sushi while asking me all about my dreams, the Gaki, the dragons, and how the others are doing.
Smearing a piece of sushi with wasabi, Philip read over his notes. “Something must be controlling Miu and Taliesin. And if Hiroshi’s drawing is correct, it’s Emiko. Japan has several beings from mischievous to evil that might be doing it. Or it could be something from another country.”
“I should have seen it.” I poked at my ginger tofu bento box. “I should have looked into what they were doing more.”
“Sapphire, you are not the only one in this group,” Philip said his voice firm. “No one else saw what happened either, or at least they didn’t try to do anything about it. You said it started slowly and their comments and behaviors became worse. You are the only one they’re being mean to?”
“Yes.”
Philip frowned. “What did you think happened with them?”
“Miu was with her family, and I knew that was difficult for her in some ways. She misses them, and her parents don’t approve of her choice to stay with us. They want her to have a normal life.” I took a bite of the seaweed salad and thought for a moment. “Taliesin and Emiko started, I don’t know, hanging out? Dating? At first I thought he was irritated about the silks routine, but then it grew. I’m such a craptastical leader. And I’ve messed up. People have gotten hurt because of me. I don’t blame them for being mad at me. For not trusting me.”
“Is that why you didn’t tell anyone? Because you thought you deserved it? Because, maybe some of those things they said you think about yourself?” Philip asked his voice soft.
I stabbed a piece of tofu. “Maybe.”
“I dislike that it’s so easy for you to accept their negative changes in behavior towards you. I think you are more affected and possibly depressed by what you’ve been through than I realized.” Philip’s brow furrowed into a frown. “I believe Miu and Taliesin are being controlled somehow. But that doesn’t change the fact that no one should ever treat you like that.”
What was I supposed to say to that?
“Sapphire, look at me.” His voice firm, I had no choice but to listen. “No one, ever, has the right to treat you like that. And I don’t want you to ever put up with it again.”
Tears filled my eyes. “But … I’m not a good leader. And I have to be. I have to live up to my destiny, and save all the magical beings. And protect everyone. Or they’ll leave me.” I froze, where had that come from?
Philip scooted over to me wrapping me in his arms. “I don’t know what your life was like growing up as a foster kid. I have no idea how many homes you were in, or how many kids came and went from your life. But we aren’t going to leave you.”
“Gavin and Anali left.” And you know why, they had to protect the baby.
“Yes, and it’s hurting them. They want you with them so badly.”
“What about Shamash?” I asked. My voice sharp with bitterness. “I couldn’t keep Cartazonon out of my head and he had to get rid of me.” To protect all of Akasha.
“Yes, and I’m sure he hated having to do it. Just as you hate and are hurting knowing that more magical beings will be killed by Cartazonon.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, Sapphire, I am sure.”
“Thanks.” I sat up and wiped my face. “I feel so stupid. I know better.”
“Sometimes what the mind knows does nothing to ease our fears or heal our hearts. And you do have a lot going on. A lot of things that are weighing on you.” Philip moved back to his side of the table. “But I’m here now and we’ll get this all sorted.”
“I know, but what about the next death from Cartazonon? You being here can’t save the next one.”
“No, it can’t.” Philip rubbed his forearm over the faded tattoo of a mermaid hiding under wiry white hair. “In the Navy there were times I had to make awful choices. Choices that caused some people to die. Even though I made the right choice. Even though I saved more lives than were lost. I still chose, and people died.”
“How did you deal with it? How did you sleep without nightmares?”
Philip’s blue eyes were sad and understanding. “I didn’t. For a long time, I had nightmares. And I hid behind Navy rules and regulations to explain my choices. Then I realized that I was responsible for my choices.”
“I am, I am responsible.”
“Sapphire, you are responsible for your choices. And you are choosing to protect Earth and Akasha. You are choosing to keep Cartazonon from having unlimited power. You are choosing to save as many magical beings as possible.”
I clenched my hands together to stop them from trembling. “But he’l
l kill them if I don’t go.”
“Yes,” said Philip. “He also might kill them if you go to him. Cartazonon isn’t someone we can trust. He’s a power hungry murderer. And his choices are his responsibility. You are not responsible for his choices or his actions. Your choices, your karma. His choices, his karma.”
That made sense. I mean he could choose to not kill them. I don’t have any control over that, or him. I took a deep breath and let go of some of the guilt. It still hurt to know they would die, but it wasn’t my burden to bear. “Okay, I might need to chant that in my head several times a day until I stop feeling guilty.”
“I’m happy to repeat it whenever you need me too,” Philip said.
“Thanks, I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too, and together we’ll figure out what is going on with Miu and Taliesin and get this group working together.” Philip smiled and stuffed a piece of sushi in his mouth. “Finish up. Michael will have my hide if you faint during the show.”
I picked up my chopsticks and picked up some tofu and rice. “I wouldn’t want you in trouble with your brother.”
“With how bad things have gotten Michael should be worried about being in trouble with me.”
* * *
“We’re signing programs in five minutes,” Nyota called out. “Everyone needs to be ready.”
I couldn’t believe we had made it through this show. After lunch we had gone back to the ryokan and Philip had talked to Sasha, Kayin, Shin, Michael and Nyota. He hadn’t been able to find Miu and Taliesin, which wasn’t unusual. The amount of guilt, anger, and sadness coming from them had settled around the theater like a fog. They had barely been able to look at me.
It made me nervous, and negative thoughts would start to race through my head. But tonight Philip stood backstage. So I’d stand next to him and watch the show, knowing he was on my side.
The acrobats walked passed me heading out to the theater lobby. Quickly I drank the rest of my coconut water and headed out to the signing tables, still in full makeup and costume.
“You were amazing!” Zennyo Ryūō said. His human form was a little over five-foot-tall, thin, with a youthful face and long silver hair pulled into a top knot. His exuberance bubbled around me. I couldn’t help but smile. “I brought my camera. Mizuchi said he would take pictures for me.”
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