by Kelli Estes
Are there any other Civil War women you wish you could have fit into this story?
Oh boy, are there! Hundreds of them. First, there’s Jennie Hodgers, who lived most of her life, even after the war, as Albert D. J. Cashier. She served three years in the 95th Illinois and was never discovered to be a woman until near the end of her long life while living in an old soldier’s home. She was buried with full military honors, as a man.
And then there’s the unnamed woman with the 20th Army Corps who fought in the Battle of Stones River while five months pregnant who was only discovered when she gave birth in her tent four months later. Similarly, a corporal in a New Jersey regiment who had served in at least three significant battles became severely ill while on picket duty. After being carried by his officers to a nearby farmhouse, he gave birth to a baby boy. I also mustn’t forget the unidentified woman in the 29th Connecticut Infantry who gave birth in the trenches during the siege of Petersburg.
Florena Budwin enlisted with her husband, and both were captured and sent to the gruesome Andersonville Prison, where her husband was killed by a guard. Revealing her true gender would have secured her release, but she kept her secret. When Union forces were advancing into Georgia, Confederate authorities moved some prisoners to Florence, South Carolina, Budwin among them. She kept her secret for a year until she fell gravely ill and the prison doctor discovered she was a woman. Although she was moved to a private room and given care, she died of pneumonia one month before all sick prisoners at Florence were paroled and sent north.
The story of a woman known only as Charlie really sets my imagination on fire. In May 1863, the New Orleans Daily Picayune reported that Charlie followed the man she loved into the 14th Iowa Infantry (although the newspaper may have recorded her regiment incorrectly). When she was discovered to be a woman and she realized she would be sent away from her lover, she took his revolver and shot herself in the heart on the parade ground.
Recommended Reading
Women in the Civil War
Blanton, DeAnne, and Lauren M. Cook. They Fought Like Demons: Women Soldiers in the Civil War. Baton Rouge, LA: LSU Press, 2002.
Grant De Paw, Linda. Battle Cries and Lullabies: Women in War from Prehistory to the Present Norman, OK: University of Oklahoma Press, 1998.
Tsui, Bonnie. She Went to the Field: Women Soldiers of the Civil War. Guilford, CT: Globe Pequot, 2003.
Women in Military Service Today
Biank, Tanya. Undaunted: The Real Story of America’s Servicewomen in Today’s Military. New York, New American Library, 2013.
Crow, Tracy, and Jerri Bell, eds. It’s My Country Too: Women’s Military Stories from the American Revolution to Afghanistan. Lincoln, NE: Potomac Books, 2017.
Holmstedt, Kirsten. The Girls Come Marching Home: Stories of Women Warriors Returning from the War in Iraq. Mechanicsburg, PA: Stackpole Books, 2009.
Jenning Hegar, Mary. Shoot Like a Girl: One Woman’s Dramatic Fight in Afghanistan and on the Home Front. New York: Berkley, 2017.
Thorpe, Helen. Soldier Girls: The Battles of Three Women at Home and at War. New York: Scribner, 2014.
Tzemach Lemmon, Gayle. Ashley’s War: The Untold Story of a Team of Women Soldiers on the Special Ops Battlefield. New York: Harper, 2015.
PTSD
Bonenberger, Adrian. Afghan Post: One Soldier’s Correspondence from American’s Forgotten War. Philadelphia: The Head & the Hand Press, 2014.
Finkel, David. Thank You for Your Service. New York: Sarah Crichton Books, 2013.
Williams, Kayla. Plenty of Time When We Get Home: Love and Recovery in the Aftermath of War. New York: W. W. Norton, 2014.
Afghanistan
Elliott, Marianne. Zen Under Fire: How I Found Peace in the Midst of War. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, 2012.
Kargar, Zarghuna. Dear Zari: The Secret Lives of the Women in Afghanistan. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, 2012.
Kelsey, Peggy. Gathering Strength: Conversations with Afghan Women. Plano, TX: Pomegranate Grove Press, 2012.
Nordberg, Jenny. The Underground Girls of Kabul: In Search of a Hidden Resistance in Afghanistan. New York: Crown, 2014. (This book discusses bacha posh.)
Books Mentioned in the Story
Ballou, Maturin Murray. Fanny Campbell: The Female Pirate Captain: A Tale of the Revolution. North Charleston, SC: CreateSpace/Amazon, 2017. (Originally published in 1844.)
Beecher Stowe, Harriet. Uncle Tom’s Cabin. Mineola, NY: Dover Publications, 2005. (Originally published in 1852.)
Bierce, Ambrose. What I Saw at Shiloh. North Charleston, SC: CreateSpace/Amazon, 2017. (Originally published in 1881.)
Edmonds, S. Emma E. Nurse and Spy in the Union Army. Charleston, SC: CreateSpace/Amazon, 2015. (Originally published in 1865.)
Resources
If you are a veteran in crisis or you know a veteran in crisis, please call the Veterans Crisis Line for confidential support twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year: 800-273-8255 and press 1. Chat online at VeteransCrisisLine.net/Chat, or text 838255.
U.S. Department of Veteran Affairs Suicide Prevention: mentalhealth.va.gov/suicide_prevention
Vet Centers for mental health counseling: vetcenter.va.gov
Vet Center call number: 1-877-WARVETS (1-877-927-8387)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
National Center for PTSD: ptsd.va.gov
PTSD & CPTSD Global Peer Support Community: myptsd.com
Military One Source: militaryonesource.mil
Acknowledgments
Although mostly a solitary endeavor, the commercial success of a book absolutely depends upon the readers, booksellers, librarians, bloggers, reviewers, women’s groups, and book clubs who read it and encourage others to do the same. I am so grateful for each and every one of you who read and recommended my first book. Thank you for making my dreams come true. I hope you enjoy this book, too!
To Anna Michels, my editor at Sourcebooks, thank you for all the hours you put in reading and editing my work. My story is so much stronger because of you. To everyone at Sourcebooks—the editorial, production, marketing, and sales teams—thank you for all that you do in support of my books and me. You are a dream to work with. Thank you to Nicole Hower for the gorgeous cover.
To my agent, Beth Miller, for always being just an email or phone call away. Your steady support, advice, and work on behalf of my books has made all the difference. Thank you.
To Maja, Kate, Natalie, Jessica, and everyone in the Foreign Rights Department at Writers House, thank you for consistently championing my books. I didn’t even know to dream of foreign sales with my debut novel, and you’ve thrilled me with each and every one. To Kathryn Stuart and others in the Rights Department, thank you!
I have so many people to thank who helped me as I wrote Today We Go Home. For starters, while on a flight from Orlando to Seattle during the early stages of this book, I serendipitously met Renee Moore, who offered to introduce me to two veteran friends of hers, Paula and Sara. She then invited all three of us to her home, where I was able to learn a lot about these women’s experiences in the military. Thank you, Renee!
When I first met MA2 Paula Ellison (USN, Retired), I already had a good idea that my character would have served as Army military police, and Paula was able to share with me how that job looks in the Navy, where the officers are called masters-at-arms. As I listened to Paula talk, years after she left the service, I was struck by the depth of love she felt for the service members whom she protected. To me, it seemed she was still struggling to understand why in the civilian world people don’t support each other as they should. Thank you, Paula, for sharing your experiences with me, and even more, thank you for your service.
When Sgt. Sara Rowland Bernardy (USA, Retired) arrived for our discussion, I could tell immediately that she was nervous about talki
ng about her experiences. She served in Army communications and was with the first wave of U.S. forces into Iraq. Sara really brought home for me what it is like to be female in the military, but even more, what it is like for service members to return from deployment to a country that doesn’t seem to care. In this story, I borrowed Sara’s experience with a stranger who, seeing her Army bumper sticker, thanked her non-military husband for his service and completely ignored Sara. Thank you, Sara, for trusting me with your experiences. I know it wasn’t easy. More importantly, thank you for your service.
While reading dozens of books, I read one that featured Cpt. Bergan Flannigan (USA, Retired). I strongly encourage you to read Undaunted: The Real Story of America’s Servicewomen in Today’s Military by Tanya Biank to learn more about these servicewomen, especially Bergan, who lost her right leg to an IED while serving as an Army MP officer in Afghanistan. I reached out to Bergan on Facebook, and she generously agreed to answer my questions and help me figure out Larkin’s timeline. Bergan, thank you for responding to my message and helping me with my story. And thank you for all you sacrificed in service to our country.
Eric Larson was the first former military member I met with when I started thinking about writing this book. He helped me to understand military structure and terminology and gave me a sense of what a deployment is really like. Because he’s my sister-in-law’s brother, I was also able to witness the strain put on the family at home. Thank you, Eric, for being so open with me in sharing your experiences, and thank you for your service.
To all servicemen and servicewomen, thank you for doing what 98 percent of our country does not. You stepped up and said “Send me” while the rest of us waited at home, full of opinions about what you were doing over there. Your strength, dedication, loyalty, sacrifice, and example have directly influenced the writing of this book, and if I could individually thank each and every one of you, I would. Thank you!
To Jessica Slagg, LICSW, thank you for patiently answering all my questions about PTSD and treatment. Thank you, too, for the documents and resources you sent my way, all of which helped immensely.
There are so many people who have helped me brainstorm this story or who suggested a resource or contact, and I wish I could thank each of you here. But, unfortunately, that would take several more pages. You know who you are. Thank you so much. Still, I must name a few of you. Thank you, Anna Richland, for answering my military questions and for the extremely valuable beta read (and thank you for your service!). Thank you, Fatima Benghaly, for giving me feedback on a particular passage. Thank you, Susanna Kearsley, for sitting in the conference bar with me and helping me brainstorm this story. I hope to write as well as you someday. Thank you to the friends who sent me notes of encouragement throughout the process, including Carla Crujido, Patty Ward, Rosann Ferris, Stephanie Christenson, Pat White, Carolynn Estes, Elizabeth Boyle, and members of Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Your unwavering support keeps me going. Thank you!
To the women working the front desk of the Hampton Inn in Counce, Tennessee, thank you for sharing your ghost stories with me. As you can see, a few made it into the book. I’ll never forget the photo you showed me of the ghost with an eye patch!
Thank you to Mr. Larry DeBerry of the Shiloh Museum for sharing your passion for history with me as you pointed out artifacts and told stories and then even went so far as to send me away with a folder of articles and brochures. This impromptu stop was the best decision ever!
Thank you to the Shiloh National Military Park and the Corinth Civil War Interpretive Center for all the valuable information on your websites and in your parks. I hope to return someday for another visit. Thank you to park guide Timothy L. Arnold for providing me with information on where Shiloh prisoners were sent after being marched to Corinth, Mississippi.
I must not forget the many Woodinville Neighbors Facebook group members who answered my random questions about the Tolt Pipeline Trail. Thank you!
Thank you to Linda and Rich Beck for translating my German epigraph into English. And for doing it the first week back to teaching in a new school year. Danke schön!
Finally, and most importantly, thank you to my husband, Chad, and our two boys. You three are my rock. Your unwavering support for all I do means so much. Thank you for letting me drag you through battlefields and museums, and for always being willing to discuss ideas with me. My greatest joy is being yours. I put a couple Easter eggs in this story for each of you!
About the Author
Photo by Chad Estes
Kelli Estes is the author of the USA Today bestselling novel The Girl Who Wrote in Silk, which has been translated into multiple languages and is the recipient of the PNWA Nancy Pearl Book Award and the WFWA Star Award, Outstanding Debut category. She lives in Woodinville, Washington, with her husband and two sons. Find Kelli on Facebook, Twitter, or at kelliestes.com.
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