“I imagine it was not her best day ever,” Seth said, trying to keep his tone light. But he secretly wondered whether part of her bad mood had been the way he kicked her out of his truck as soon as they got back. It had been kind of an asshole move. But he had needed to get away from her as soon as possible. He hadn’t been able to handle the feelings she was stirring up inside of him.
Seth took the accident report and a clipboard from the dispatcher and sat in one of the rickety chairs in the office to fill it out.
“You don’t have to fill it our right this minute,” the dispatcher said. “You can always take it to your room and bring it back later, after you’ve had time to complete it.”
Seth shrugged without looking up from the form. “I’ve got time now. Might as well get it done,” he said. “I hope this damn storm blows over quickly so I can get back to work.”
“Don’t worry,” the dispatcher said. “It happens now and then, but these blizzards usually blow over quickly.”
Seth bristled when he heard the dispatcher say “blizzard.” He had purposely avoided using the word, but others had no idea what kinds of bad associations it stirred up in his minds. He finished the form as quickly as he could, and then handed it wordlessly back to the dispatcher before leaving the office.
He shivered as he stepped out into the cold. Despite his warm layers of clothing and his parka, he still felt the chill. This kind of weather was something you never fully got used to. You just learned to cope the best you could. Seth made his way back toward his room, trying to figure out how he was going to pass the time today. He had meant to go into town and buy some new books before training ended, but he had never gotten around to it. Seth looked up at the sky. It didn’t look like the storm was too bad here in Yellowknife. Maybe he could borrow a pickup from someone and head into town.
Thirty minutes later, Seth was behind the wheel of a borrowed pickup, heading to the local shopping mall. He searched for a book but didn’t find anything that particularly drew his interest. Not wanting to go home empty-handed, he grabbed a few at random and hoped one of them might prove interesting. He did find quite a few things that drew his interest in the shopping center’s smokeshop, and he spent quite a bit of time choosing cigars. By the time he was done shopping, it was nearly lunchtime, and he decided to eat while he was out, just for a change of pace. He had a heaping plate of sweet and sour chicken from a Chinese restaurant, which he thought was surprisingly good. With nothing further in town drawing his interest, he got back into the pickup and started heading back toward the trucking base.
But as he turned the engine on, a little seed of an idea took root in his mind: he should go to the hospital and visit Chloe. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he pushed it away, horrified. No matter how attracted his bear was to her, she was a Blizzard. And no matter how little responsibility she’d had for her clan’s actions, he couldn’t be friends with someone like her. That was that. Seth resolved to head back to his room and start reading one of his books. He would do whatever he could to make sure his path crossed with Chloe’s as little as possible over the next three months.
Seth’s resolve lasted all of about three minutes. His bear’s demands were too strong, and Seth’s heart was somehow tangled up in knots over Chloe Powell. He turned his vehicle toward the hospital, telling himself he just needed to make sure he had detailed everything accurately on the accident report. Yeah, right. He was falling for Chloe and he knew it. He hated himself for parking in front of the hospital and walking up to the receptionist’s desk to ask if she was able to have visitors. But he couldn’t stop himself.
The receptionist called up to Chloe’s room, and Chloe apparently gave her the go-ahead to send him up. After donning a sticky nametag with his name and the word “Visitor” scribbled on it, Seth headed to the room number that the receptionist had written down for him. When he reached the room, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door. He had no idea what he was going to say. This whole situation was nuts. What was he, a Northern Lights shifter, and former clan member of a now completely wiped out clan, doing knocking on the hospital room door of a Blizzard?
Chloe’s voice called for him to come in, so he pushed the door open and closed it behind him, standing awkwardly next to it as though he might need to bolt and run at any moment. Chloe was sitting up in bed, looking much less frightened then yesterday. Her hair, which had been pulled back into a tight bun the last two times he had seen her, now hung loosely around her shoulders in a beautiful, curly mess. She was stunning. Absolutely stunning. Seth told himself for the thousandth time to get a grip, but his self-admonitions were useless in the presence of such a magnificent woman.
“Hi,” Chloe said, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Yeah, well. I, uh, just wanted to tell you that I had to fill out an accident report. Um, so, yeah. I did that,” Seth said, trying unsuccessfully not to sound like he was rambling. He thought he saw a hint of amusement pass across Chloe’s eyes.
“Okay,” she said. “Hopefully you were in a better mood when you filled it out than you were last night.”
“Yeah, sorry about that,” Seth said. “I guess that’s kind of the real reason I came by. I feel badly for storming off like that. It’s just a lot to process, you know? I never expected to run into…one of your clan out here. And I certainly didn’t expect to hear a story about how your alpha was an insane dictator. It was, uh, quite an interesting day yesterday, to say the least.”
Chloe nodded. “Well, if it makes you feel any better, I never expected to run into a shifter from the Alaskan clan wars out here. I came here to get away from that mess. I understand if you hate me. I guess I’d probably hate me, too, if I were you. But I’ll do my best to stay out of your hair. I’m only here to make enough money to get far, far away from Alaska. Farther away than here, because this isn’t far enough, obviously. I hope you can just forget that I’m here and let me be. I promise that as soon as I have enough funds to start over somewhere, I’ll be long gone.”
Seth nodded, but inside his bear was going crazy. He wanted to tell Chloe that he couldn’t forget her. He wanted to tell her that she should have yelled at him, and told him he could go to hell if he thought she actually had anything to do with the bloodshed the Blizzards had caused. He wanted her to make him feel ashamed for treating her the way he had, so that he could tell her she was right, and he was sorry, and did she think they had a chance?
Damn it all, what the hell was wrong with him?
Chloe sat looking at him with a neutral expression on her face, waiting for him to say something. She was probably hoping that he was going to leave, and tell her that he wanted to avoid her, too. But for some reason, he couldn’t tear himself away. Instead, he felt a confession bubbling up inside of him, and inexplicably making its way to his tongue. Before he could stop the words from leaving his mouth, he said them.
“I have a lot of scars. No matter how far I run, they will always be there.”
Chloe stared at him silently, seemingly unsure of what to say. Seth decided he had done enough damage here. He was babbling, and telling her things about himself that were painful and deeply personal. He turned to leave, but paused briefly with his hand on the doorknob when he heard her speak. Her voice sounded sad, and resigned.
“I have a lot of scars, too. You can’t see them, because they’re on my heart, not my body. But I’ll never outrun them, either.”
Seth stood still for several long moments, trying to decide whether he should say anything else, or acknowledge her statement. But he finally turned the doorknob and walked out without any further comment, leaving Chloe alone in the hospital room.
It wasn’t that he didn’t care about the pain she was obviously going through. It was that he cared too much. He didn’t know how to stop the flood of emotion that overtook him every time he saw her, but he knew that his best bet was to get the hell out of that hospital room and away from Chloe.
Chapter Nine
Seth’s attempt to stay away from Chloe had one fatal flaw: they were both living on the same small base camp from the same trucking company. There weren’t a lot of places to go to hide from each other, except their own rooms. Seth shouldn’t have been surprised to run into Chloe in the dining hall that evening, but he was. For some reason, he had thought she would be in the hospital for a bit longer, but the doctors must have been satisfied with Chloe’s progress after close to twenty-four hours of observation, and let her leave.
Their eyes met from across the room, and Seth quickly looked away. He took his tray of chicken pot pie and chocolate pudding and sat alone at a table in the corner farthest away from the table where Chloe was sitting alone. Chloe wasn’t sitting alone for long, though. Minutes after she sat down, she was surrounded by several other truckers, all eager to hear firsthand her account of running into the moose. Since his bear had been pining for Chloe all day, he shouldn’t have been surprised that an intense jealousy filled him when he saw her surrounded by other men. But he still had trouble believing that he was feeling this way toward a Blizzard.
He let out a low growl as he watched the other men laughing and slapping Chloe on the back in a familiar fashion. Their voices carried across the room, exclaiming every few moments at a new detail as Chloe explained what had happened. Seth saw them inching closer to her, silently jockeying for a spot to sit next to her. He looked down at his pot pie and tried to focus on bringing bites to his mouth, but inside he was seething.
Mine, his bear whispered. Seth spooned bites of pot pie into his mouth even faster, but he couldn’t ignore the intense feelings growing stronger within him. He stood to leave. He had to get out of here. He needed to get back to the safe space of his room, where he could decompress alone and deal with all of these strange new feelings in solitude. But as he stood, he caught Chloe’s eyes, and time froze.
He knew the moment their eyes locked that he had no reason to be jealous of any of the men sitting next to her. She had eyes only for him, and he saw in those eyes the same longing that was filling him. She felt it, too. They were fated to be together. But why? Was this some cruel trick of the universe, to bring together two shifters who should have been sworn enemies? Things would never work out between them. What was he supposed to do? Bring her back home to the Northern Lights Clan, and beg them to accept a shifter from the clan responsible for the deaths of so many of their loved ones?
She looked away suddenly, probably as scared by the intensity of the moment as he was. But one of the truckers was actually interested in the story of the moose collision and was oblivious to the fact that many of the truckers were trying to make a move on Chloe. That trucker followed Chloe’s gaze, and spotted Seth standing there with a tray of half-eaten chicken pot pie.
“Hey! Aren’t you the guy that rescued her? Come over here and tell us your part of the story!” the trucker said, excited to have recognized Seth.
“Naw, man,” Seth said with a shrug, and a desperate glance in Chloe’s direction. He tried to convey to her with his eyes that he just wanted to get out of there. “It was nothing. Not much to tell. I just helped her out of the truck real quick. She’s the one who has the big story to tell, not me.”
But the trucker was undeterred. “Oh, come on,” he said. “You pulled her out of a burning truck. That’s not nothing. It’s the most exciting thing I’ve heard all week, that’s for sure. Come over and tell your story.”
Seth looked helplessly at Chloe, who shrugged just as helplessly. With a sigh, he carried his tray over to the table. A few of the truckers who were more interested in Chloe than in Seth’s story grudgingly made room for him.
Seth tried to tell his side of the story as briefly as he could. He gave the basic highlights, skimming quickly over how he had come over the hill to find the wrecked truck, and had climbed into the driver’s cab to cut Chloe’s seatbelt and help her out. As he talked, he found his gaze shifting again to Chloe. Their eyes locked, and he felt his heart beating faster. It was going to be a long winter if he had to constantly fight off this feeling.
He finished up his story as quickly as he could, and excused himself to his room. He glanced over his shoulder at the group one last time as he left the dining hall, and his eyes rested for a second on Chloe, whose face was lit up with a brilliant smile as she laughed at something one of the truckers had said. Seth pushed his way through the door, and tried unsuccessfully to wipe the image of her beautiful face from his mind.
“Why did you have to be so wonderful?” he said aloud to the empty hallway.
Seth made his way to his room, and tried to read one of the books that he had picked up in town that day. But he couldn’t focus on the words on the page. He finally gave up and tossed the book aside, staring up at the ceiling for several minutes before rolling out of his bed to head to the bathroom and get ready for bed. He took off all of his clothes, even his boxers, and pulled on a pair of black sweatpants. Despite the fierce snowstorm outside, which was supposed to last at least another day, the temperature in here was toastier than normal. Maybe someone had turned up the heat in anticipation of another temperature drop.
Seth brushed his teeth, avoiding glancing in the mirror so he wouldn’t have to see the scars covering his chest and stomach. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with those memories right now. He washed his face with the harsh hand soap the trucking company had provided, and thought briefly that he should get something specifically intended for face washing so it wouldn’t dry his skin out so much. He had thought about it while he was in town earlier, but he hadn’t felt like face wash was very masculine. He didn’t want to appear frou-frou. After all, he was a bear of a man. He had a reputation to uphold.
Seth towel dried his face and killed the lights in the bathroom before walking out to his tiny room and killing the lights in there as well. Just as he was about to lie down and try to go to sleep, he heard a soft knock at the door. It was so soft that he thought at first that he’d imagined it. But when it repeated again, he went to the door and cracked it open, allowing a small ray of light from the hallway to enter the room. To his surprise, Chloe was standing there. She was wearing a tight t-shirt and baggy sweatpants, and her hair hung in that same curly mess around her shoulders that had driven him crazy at the hospital earlier. She looked damn sexy. He felt himself growing hard, and he hid behind the door to hide his growing erection. She wasn’t looking at him, though. She was looking at the floor, not saying anything.
“Chloe?” Seth prompted. “What are you doing here?”
When Chloe did finally look up, Seth’s breath caught in his throat. It would have been impossible to miss the fire of passion blazing in her eyes.
* * *
Chloe forced herself to look up at Seth. She knew her eyes were going to give her away. She wanted him. She had spent the last twenty-four hours agonizing over how to make the feeling go away. Despite his unfriendly manner yesterday, she couldn’t keep herself from imagining what it would feel like to have his strong, sexy hands running across her body. She had imagined his lips on her lips, and the feel of his rough, scruffy beard against her face. And yes, she had imagined his dick inside of her. Of course, she had no idea what his dick actually looked like, but if it was anything like the rest of him, it was bound to be large and strong.
Chloe had fought these desires, despite their strength, because she hadn’t believed she had even the tiniest of chances with Seth. He had made it clear when they parted ways that he hated her. And why wouldn’t he? She was a Blizzard. She should have been thanking her lucky stars that he had been kind enough to save her and not attack her. Instead, she had sat in her hospital room and pined for his body. She knew what that feeling was. It was the lifemate bond, trying to establish itself. Her bear whined and clawed within her, demanding that she let it out, and demanding that she chase after Seth. But she had resisted. She had told herself that these feelings, which could never be mirrored by Seth, were ju
st another cross for her to bear.
Then, he had shown up at her hospital room, seemingly for no real reason. He had stuttered around some explanation about wanting her to know he had filled out an accident report. Despite his harsh actions the night before, his eyes in that hospital room had been full of desire. Chloe had dared for a brief moment to hope he might care about her. She had held her breath that he might tell her not to move far away. But then, he had started talking about the awful scars that the Blizzard clan had given him, and her small spark of hope had been extinguished.
She’d been discharged from the hospital, and cleared to go back to work. The collision with the moose had been declared an unfortunate accident, and the trucking company had assured her that she could go back to work as soon as the blinding snowstorm cleared. Chloe had breathed a sigh of relief when she got this news. She’d been worried that her plans to make a ton of money on the ice roads were going to come to an end because of the moose incident, but everyone seemed to take the accident in stride. Chloe had even found herself surrounded at dinner by a group of truckers treating her like a hero. They had crowded around her, asking questions and exclaiming over every detail of her story.
That’s when she had seen him. The real hero. Seth had been sitting across the room, silently shoving food into his mouth. He had stolen glances in her direction every now and then, trying not to get caught but failing miserably. Chloe realized as she sat there that she recognized the look in his eyes: jealousy. He was jealous of the men sitting right next to her at that creaky, old cafeteria table. His bear was giving him a hell of a time, too. When he ended up joining the group to tell his story, Chloe had smelled the unmistakable scent of desire.
Seth wanted her, too. She still wasn’t sure if she had a chance with him, but after agonizing over what to do for the last hour, she had finally decided to come here and lay her feelings on the line. This was crazy, and she knew it. But maybe, just maybe, the pull of fate and destiny would be strong enough to overcome their differences.
Bearing The Long Road Home (Ice Bear Shifters 7) Page 5