"If it wasn't for me and my money, she wouldn't have turned into a party girl, wouldn't have been able to afford all those drugs. She'd have continued with her career and married a nice guy."
"You don't know that. There's no magic crystal ball telling you the future." Crap. I was quoting Chris. "She could have got into trouble on her own, with alcohol, or whatever."
We paused, and he kicked at a rock. "I don't think so. I think she would have been fine if not for me. And I should have recognized the signs of abuse. I turned into a wild child when I first got my hands on a lot of money. Guess I was lucky, not to have killed myself or wound up in jail. I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad. I'm telling you why I don't date employees."
I looked down and dug my shoe into the sand. "We don't have to date. I mean, we live far away from each other. It's not like we'd be able to get together a lot. We could just, you know, have fun while we're here."
Oh shit, what was I saying? The guy wanted nothing to do with me. He was trying to be nice, to give me an explanation that would let me save face, and I told him I wanted a one-night stand. A one-week stand, actually. He turned to look at me and heat flushed my face. I started walking again. I did not want him looking into my eyes, reading my thoughts.
"I mean, never mind. I know last night was an accident. We got caught up in the moment. You're not attracted to me. But I'd like to go back to being friends, like we were before."
We arrived at the Tiki Largo bar area, closed now, and stood on the deck, looking out at the water. Nathan leaned on the railing and studied me, and that heat rose again. I turned away, but he took my chin and tilted my face towards him.
"I'm very much attracted to you. Last night wasn't just getting caught up in the moment. That kiss was real, and it was special. There's something between us, but I can't go any further. I don't do hook-ups, with people I can hurt."
My heart sped up. So it wasn't my imagination. He felt something too. "I'm a big girl. You think because I'm from the Midwest, I just fell off the corn truck. You won't hurt me. I've had lovers."
Well, a few. Not that many. But enough to know when a relationship would be casual only. "I'm not suggesting we get all serious. I realize we come from very different places. I'd like to explore what we started, because, I felt something special with you too. I don't expect any promises, no commitments."
Wow. What did I just do? I laid it on the line, that's what and opened myself up to potential heartache. But damn it, I deserved pleasure in my life. Even if Nathan and I only had a few days together here, I wanted him.
He opened his mouth but before he could speak, a crash sounded from near the bar area.
Nathan whirled around. "Stay here, I'm going to check that out."
Oh, sure I would stay put. Not. I trailed behind him, both of us shining our phones. We approached the bar quietly, stepped lightly around the side to the back and…. holy cow. A low light behind the bar provided enough illumination for us to see, two bodies lay on a blanket, naked, arms and legs all over each other. My mouth dropped open and I must have made noise because they stopped moving. The man on top turned to look at us, then flattened himself over the woman on the bottom. Juan! And he made that concealing move too late. Even in the dim light, I recognized Chris and her curvy body.
Super awkward. No one spoke. I cleared my throat. "Uh, guys, we're going to turn around here while you get up. Put on some clothes, maybe. You have clothes nearby, right?"
"Yes." A muffled sound from Chris.
I faced away from them and so did Nathan. When I stole a glance at him from the corner of my eye, I couldn't tell what he thought. He looked straight forward, not frowning, but not exactly smiling. I nudged him, he glanced at me, and I giggled. His mouth twitched, I swear, and he put his finger to his lips. I managed to contain myself.
"Are you decent?" I asked after a few moments.
"Yeah."
We both turned around, composing our faces into serious expressions. Chris and Juan stood there, clothes rumpled, hair in disarray, hands clasped.
Nathan folded his arms across his chest. "Don't either of you have a place you can go, to… enjoy each other's company?"
They looked like they wanted the ground to split open and swallow them.
"We both live with other people. It's hard to get private time. This is my fault. I talked Chris into coming out here with me. Don't get her in trouble."
Aww. Chivalry wasn't dead. Way to go, Juan.
"You aren't in trouble. I don't care if you're involved in a relationship. As long as one of you doesn't supervise the other, it's fine with me. But you can't have sex in a public place. What if one of our guests found you?"
"We would hear them," Chris piped up.
"You didn't hear us. Find another spot for your activities. You can both go."
Chris shot me a quick grin and a wink before they hurried off, still holding hands. When they were far enough away, I gave in and burst out laughing. "I'm sorry, it's not that funny, but man, they both looked about ready to die of embarrassment."
Nathan bent his head and shook it, but I saw him grin. "Did you know they were together?"
"No. I haven't spent much time with either of them. Chris and I went to lunch and talked, but she never mentioned Juan. I guess they're trying to be discreet. Do you really not care if employees date?"
"People will see each other, no matter what rules we lay down. Like I said, as long as one person is not in a direct supervisory position over the other, it's okay by me. Come on, I'll walk you back to your room. Your shift is over."
Remembering what happened last time he came near my room, I shivered. "I need to pick up my laptop from the front desk." We headed in that direction.
"Want to tell me about your sister? The real story?"
Oh boy. Not really. He'd obviously figured out I lied.
"I told you my story, one I don't share with many people. One I'd like kept quiet."
"I won't tell anyone." We seemed to be finding our way back to solid footing, and I didn't want to mess up our harmony. Might as well spill it.
We walked for another moment. "My sister, Michelle, is housebound. She had a traumatic incident happen a year and a half ago. She doesn't work, doesn't do anything except sit in her apartment. Physically, she's okay and didn't suffer any brain damage, according to the docs. She's stuck in this dark place, mentally, and I can't get her to visit a therapist."
I rubbed my hands up and down my arms as a breeze blew in, cutting through my shirts. Not terribly cold, but talking about Michelle made me uneasy.
"Is that the project you need extra money for?"
"Yes. A certified nursing assistant, Vicky, comes in five days a week to check on her, and take care of household stuff. I get over there twice a week, but…" I didn't want to share all my private business. Nathan didn't need to know. "I can't do everything for her. I make her nervous sometimes. We're lucky to have Vicky, but she's not cheap. So, I do freelance editing, make extra money to pay for her. It works out okay."
Not the whole story, but enough. We walked the rest of the way in silence, except for a yawn that slipped out.
"Thanks for working this late shift."
"No problem. I'll send you my notes. I've got ideas."
"I'm sure you do."
He smiled, and damn it, my heart stuttered. I could swear I saw desire in his eyes.
"Get some sleep, and we'll meet up around two o'clock tomorrow. Or rather, today. Call me when you're awake."
We stopped outside the front door of the lobby. His convertible, parked off to the side, brought back memories of our evening together. I trembled slightly, hoping he didn't notice.
"So we're good now?" He laid a hand on my shoulder.
That darn tingle again. "We're good. And what I said, back there, I'm serious. About us, exploring what we started." OMG. I had to stop talking. Nathan would take off running any minute. But even though my mouth went dry at the thought, I truly meant w
hat I told him.
He took his hand away. "I'll see you tomorrow afternoon."
Tired as I was, I lay in bed awake for a while. I couldn't believe what I proposed to Nathan. Would I really do that? Have casual sex? With my boss, a guy I hardly knew?
It didn't matter anyway. Despite what he said, Nathan didn't want to have sex with me. He was only being kind. Maybe he felt the tingle of a spark when we kissed, but not enough to take it any further. I'd have to be content dreaming about him, treasuring the memory of his lips on mine.
Sleep finally came after I read five chapters of my book, letting me escape to another world.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I stood in the kitchen of my condo and shot down a whiskey, trying to burn the vision of Chris and Juan from my brain. It was no use. I kept picturing their naked bodies, heard that soft moan of pleasure from Chris. Who looked a lot like Amber. Or how I imagined Amber would look nude. Oh yeah, that's really what I needed to think about, how Amber looked without her clothes.
Fuck me. I wanted her so bad, and damned if she didn't suggest we hook-up while she was here. Nothing would make me happier, but I told her no. No way could I have sex with that woman and not get totally into her. I already knew she was smart, funny, and we got along great. In virtual space, that is. In person, every time I touched her, or even got too close, this magnetic pull made me want to grab her and run my hands over her body. Then my tongue.
Even though I'd showered earlier, I jumped in again, hoping to cool off. Didn't work. I lay in bed for fifteen minutes, tossing and turning.
She said she wasn't innocent, that she'd had lovers, and that she was okay with a causal relationship. Other people did that. They had more than one person they dated and they knew nothing permanent was expected. The way I did it in L. A. But this wasn't Los Angeles and Amber wasn't just anyone. She was different than the women I hung with. What did she say, she didn't just fall off the corn truck? Funny.
My cock voted "hell yes" on taking Amber's offer of sex. My gut, the place I listen to when making multi-million dollar business decisions, surprisingly agreed. After hearing her story about her sister, damn, she was tougher than I thought. She had to be some kind of strong to deal with that situation. And working a part-time job with her full-time one? She never complained or told me she was too busy to take on a project. She handled everything I threw at her on the job.
Maybe she could handle this as well, a long-distance, non-exclusive relationship. Maybe I could too, could push back my feelings for her, let it be just about sex. Because, damn it, I wanted her. Now.
I stood up, caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, and studied my reflection. Trust. My therapist said I should learn to trust. The ultimate challenge. Was I up to it? To taking a chance and seeing where this romantic encounter might lead? I grabbed my phone. She answered on the third ring, the sound of sleep in her voice.
"Did you mean what you said? About us, together, down here?"
"Yes."
"Can I come over? Now?"
"Yes. Please."
Before I could think anymore, I threw on jeans and a shirt, and rifled through my bathroom traveling bag. There. Three condoms. I couldn't remember when I'd thrown them in. Expiration date, still good. I'd take that as an omen, that I was meant to do this.
+++
I turned on the stove light in the kitchen, then off, then on again. Too much light? Not enough? Okay, stop. I had to quit fussing around. Nathan would be here any minute. I found two votive candles and matches in one of the kitchen drawers and put them on a plate, then placed it right next to the bed. To create a mood. To calm my nerves. I brushed my teeth, swiped on a little mascara and finger-combed out my hair.
No sexy clothing made it into my suitcase since I didn't intend to entertain a man. The long t-shirt I slept in would have to do. Really, I wanted to put on the black dress I'd brought in case a formal occasion came up, and do my full make-up and hair routine. But that would look ridiculously obvious and overdone. We were having a quickie, that's all.
Nathan knocked lightly, and I exhaled a deep breath. No going back now. I opened the door. He stepped in and closed it behind him. How long had it been since I invited a man into my room, purely for sex? Ever? I had no idea what to do. And Nathan wasn't just any man. He was my boss, and a guy I respected and admired. What if I did something stupid?
"Do you want a drink? I have a little red wine."
"A bottle of water, if you've got it."
I turned, glad to escape his gaze for a minute. I initiated this, I know, but my heart pounded out a fast, nervous rhythm. Bad enough I got hot and wet merely looking at him. Now, we would be touching. A lot. While naked.
Oh Lord. He'd see me totally nude. I got two bottles of water from the fridge and turned off the stove light.
"It's, uh, been a while. For me. Since I've been with a man." I didn't add that I was nowhere near as experienced in bed as he was. Probably, he could tell.
He smiled, a slow, sexy smile that made my hand tremble as I handed him the bottle. He took the water, then took my hand and kissed the back. Then, he turned it over, ran his thumb along the front, and brought my palm to his mouth and licked. Now my whole body vibrated, from my head to my toes. The heat that started earlier this evening burned hotter and I couldn't suppress a moan.
"Don't worry, we'll go slowly. As slow as you like."
But suddenly, I didn't want to go slow. I wanted Nathan, now. Wanted to make love to this guy who watched me with raw desire.
"You don't have to. Go slow, I mean. I'm ready."
He had other ideas. He traced his finger along my neck, to my collar bone, then down the V-neck of my shirt. When he cupped one of my breasts through the fabric and stroked his thumb across my nipple, my legs turned to water. I stepped back, to catch my breath.
He wanted me, and gazing into those beautiful eyes that made my mind melt, I saw he intended this to be special, to be a deeply intimate experience. Passion drowned out the fear clutching my heart, and a wave of lust crashed over me. I could enjoy him, could delight in this evening, and allow my feelings to show.
"One of has too many clothes on." Surprised at my boldness, I reached for his shirt and for a moment, thought he would push me away, would tell me this was all a joke.
But he didn't. He stood there, with his hands at his side, and allowed me to remove his shirt, to unfasten his jeans and pull them down. He'd already kicked off his sandals, so when he stepped out of his pants he was naked.
I pulled in a breath and just looked at him. He worked out, I could tell that from when he had clothes on. Now I got to view his well-toned chest muscles, slim waist, and long, muscular legs. And hard cock. Oh Lord. Before I could stop myself, I knelt and took it into my mouth.
Too fast. I had moved too fast.
An instant of worry stopped me, but then his hands fisted into my hair and he groaned.
"Oh hell, that's good. More."
Gladly. I inhaled his scent, that intoxicating spicy aroma I loved, now mixed with sweat and male musk. My pussy throbbed in response, surprising me with the force of my need. I slid my lips up and down his shaft, taking time at the end to flick my tongue over the head, then to tug with my lips. Was I too rough? I wanted to taste him, all of him. Judging by his ragged breathing, I was doing fine.
"Shit, stop." He pulled my head away. "I don't want to come yet. Stand up."
I did, and he grabbed my shirt and ripped it off.
"Nathan!" But I smiled. Looking into his eyes gone black with lust, I wanted him to tear my clothes off, to totally lose control.
"I'll buy you another one. Lie down, on the bed. Damn, I want you."
I was barely flat on the mattress and he was on top of me, kneeling between my legs. I reached over to dim the bedside lamp but he grabbed my hand.
"No, leave it on. I want to look at you."
"Please, I want it off. I'm shy, about my body."
"You shouldn't be. It's beautiful."
But he released my hand and let me turn the switch. Now, we were engulfed in the glow of the flickering candles. I stole a glance at our shadows on the wall. We looked like statues, molded together as one.
He put his hands on either side of my shoulders, then lowered his head to my breasts. Taking my nipple into his mouth he sucked, pulled, and lightly scraped it with his teeth, driving me out-of-my-mind crazy. While his mouth stayed busy on one breast, his hand fondled the other, squeezing and rolling my hardened peak.
Finally, just as I was about to beg him to touch me where I desperately needed it, he reached a hand between my thighs and stroked one finger up my lips, coming to rest on my clit. I squirmed, willing him to continue, yearning for release.
"Open your eyes and look at me."
I'd had them closed, I realized, so I did as he asked. Lord, I could get lost in his eyes. Dark pools of onyx, shining with desire.
"I want to make you come, I want to watch it. Keep looking at me."
I always shut my eyes when I climaxed. No one had ever asked to see me, in this most private moment. It felt so strange, so intimate. But I'd try. For Nathan, I'd try.
As he moved his finger on my clit, gently, then with more pressure, I squirmed beneath him. When he slid two fingers into my channel, I thrust my hips, silently begging for more. I wanted to feel him, his cock, inside me. But he wanted me to come first and damned if I wasn't going to. As his fingers thrust and his thumb stroked my clit, the first waves of orgasm built and the next moment I went over the edge, crying out my release.
He kept his hand in place but eased off, now stroking and sliding, slow and easy. I was wet, dripping. Oh shit. I sat up.
"Condoms."
"Got it covered. Just a minute."
He bent and kissed my mouth lightly, then moved his lips down my throat, to nip at my hardened tips again, down my belly to my pussy. He flicked my clit once with his tongue, making me jump, and him laugh, low in his throat.
"Stay there."
Like I'd move, even if I could talk my legs into walking. He grabbed his pants and pulled out several foil wrappers and put them on the table. Did his hands shake as he opened one? I spread my legs and pulled my knees up, not at all embarrassed to expose myself to him, like I usually was with a man.
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