by J. H. Croix
My chest tightened and my pulse kicked up a notch. Olivia hadn’t mentioned she’d told her director about us. I wondered what that meant. I knew everything Tim said about her and the person she was to be true. I knew on the outside it might seem as if I was after Olivia if only because she was a novelty to me. Perhaps that had been the case at first, but even then it didn’t feel right to consider it that way. All I knew was I’d taken one look at her and wanted her down to my bones. The more I learned her, the closer I felt. She’d snuck into my heart without even trying. I knew she might wonder what I saw in her, but that’s only because she was the opposite of vain. She was flat beautiful and didn’t even know it. I loved that there was never a moment where I wondered if she was spending time with me solely because of who I was. If anything, my career and public role were a mark against me in her eyes.
I looked to Tim again and cleared my throat. “Olivia means a lot to me,” I finally said.
He nodded. “Right then. Take good care of her.”
At that, he turned away, heading back toward where his office was. I remained still for a few beats before heading for the shower. I needed to see Olivia.
***
Luck was with me when I arrived at Olivia’s building, and another resident leaving held the door for me. I slipped in and swiftly climbed the stairs to her flat. It was past two months since I’d torn my meniscus. It felt like a distant memory now. I could climb the stairs with ease, and I knew it was due to Tim’s rigorous and careful rehab plan. Had it been left to me, I most definitely would’ve pushed myself too far and too fast. I cleared the last stair on the third floor and aimed straight for Olivia’s door. It was close to dark outside, and I hoped to find her home. Knowing she’d spoken with her director about us, I hadn’t wanted to seek her out at the clinic. After knocking several times with nothing but silence echoing back to me, I leaned against the wall with a sigh.
To hell with worrying about her director, I’d hunt her down at work if I had to. Once I was out of her building, I covered the blocks from her flat to the clinic inside of five minutes. The clinic doors were open, but the place was quiet, much of the bustle of the day gone. A few people were in the main waiting area. I walked past and turned down the hallway leading toward Olivia’s office. I could see as I approached that her door was open. A sense of euphoria started to rise within. That’s all it took—the simple knowledge I might be about to see her lifted me up inside.
I didn’t even pause and turned into her office. She stood by the windows, her arms crossed. It didn’t appear she’d heard me. I walked straight to her and slid my hands down her arms, leaning to drop a kiss on the back of her neck and breathe in her scent. “Hello, luv,” I mumbled against her skin, gratified at the goose bumps that rose under my lips.
For a moment, she started to lean back into me, her body softening, but then she stiffened and stepped away. Confused, I lifted my head to find her taking enough steps away that it was obvious she wanted distance between us. I stared at her, trying to read her. Her expression was tight, her eyes anxious.
“Liam, we can’t keep doing this.”
My heart started pounding so hard it hurt. Meanwhile, my stomach knotted because I didn’t like the look in her eyes—anxious and closed. She crossed her arms more tightly as if shielding herself from me.
“What do you mean?” I asked, taking a step to close the chasm she’d created between us. I didn’t push too far because I wanted her to have the space she seemed to need.
She waved a hand back and forth between us. “This! Us! I told my director because I don’t like keeping secrets. I don’t do this kind of thing! I just don’t. I have to wait and see if the clinic board will reprimand me. And then there’s you. I’m not stupid. I know I’m not the kind of woman you’d usually date. Let’s just let this be what it was and not make things worse.”
My heart was pounding so hard, it was a bloody miracle I didn’t crack a rib. “What do you mean make things worse?”
She started pacing in a tight loop, her gaze averted. “Liam, this, this thing with us isn’t something I do. I don’t know what you expect, but I know the time will come when the differences between us will only drive us apart. I can’t…” She paused and shook her head sharply, her eyes finally swinging to mine. “I don’t do things like this. I’m not…Oh, I don’t know how to explain.”
My heart literally ached as I stared at her. I didn’t understand what she meant, but a sense of desperation was building inside of me. “Olivia, what happened? Why are you doing this?”
She stopped her pacing and stared at me, her cheeks flushed and her eyes dark. “Because I’m in over my head. You act like you don’t know what I mean, but you have to. I mean, my God, you have some amazing model from Britain visiting you here! That’s not me. My career is what matters to me, and I’ll be lucky if I haven’t already messed that up. You’d never have even noticed me if you hadn’t ended up here for your surgery.”
I shook my head, trying to make sense of what she meant. “What woman are you talking about?” The only woman I could think of was Millie Morton who annoyed me to no end and had stopped by to visit the team the other day. She’d dated half the guys on my old team back in London and was constantly flaunting her assets to all of us. But she certainly hadn’t been here to see me.
Olivia’s eyes whipped up. “Liam, there was a picture online,” she said, her tone almost withering.
A flash of anger raced through me. Not with Olivia, but the situation. Anger that all it took was some random photo I didn’t even know had been taken to give Olivia a reason to question us. “If you’re talking about Millie Morton, she bloody well wasn’t here to see me, and she takes every chance she can get to drape herself on anyone. I didn’t think anything of it because she’s annoying as hell. I don’t know exactly what photo you’re talking about, but I haven’t a damn thing to hide when it comes to Millie. I barely know the woman and prefer to keep it that way.”
Olivia waved a hand dismissively and turned partially away. “It doesn’t really matter. I need to get my mind back where it needs to be, and not worry about stuff like this. Our lives are so different it doesn’t even make sense for us to be together.”
To hell with letting her keep her distance. I strode to her and tried to pull her into my arms, but she stiffened. When I looked down, her eyes collided with mine, bright with tears. “Olivia, please…” I tried to hold her close, but my arms fell away when she stepped back abruptly.
“I can’t. I can’t keep being so stupid. It’s bad enough I put myself in a position to lose my job. I can’t keep going along because I’m already in too deep. Please just go.” She stepped away and turned her back to me, her arms wrapped tightly around her waist again.
I couldn’t go, not when I felt like my heart was being ground to dust. “What do you mean you’re in too deep?”
She turned back and smiled a sad little smile. “I think perhaps we’re in different places because we’re different people. You showed up and swept me off my feet, almost literally. Meanwhile, you can have your pick of women and they’re betting on you back in London, all because you’re famous for never committing to anyone. Let me do this. I’d like to at least keep my pride.”
Another flash of anger rose inside of me. It infuriated me to have her belittle what we had like this and make it seem as if it was nothing more than a fling. At that moment, there was a soft knock on her open door. Olivia strode swiftly to the door. “Dr. Adams, I didn’t know you were stopping by.”
I recognized the director’s name and slowly turned. The woman who stood in the doorway was tall and willowy with short gray hair. She wore a white lab coat over black slacks. Her eyes flicked in my direction and back to Olivia. If she thought anything about me being there, her expression was controlled.
“I was hoping to speak with you for a few minutes. I can come back if you’d like,” Dr. Adams said.
I wanted to shout that she
should absolutely come back later after I’d had time to convince Olivia she needn’t shut me out of her life. But I knew that would anger Olivia, so I stayed quiet.
“Oh, that’s not necessary. I’m just finishing up with…” She paused, and I realized she was trying to decide how to address me. I forced myself to hold my tongue, though I almost had skid marks on it. “…Mr. Reed,” she finally finished.
So I was back to being Mr. Reed. Bloody hell. I swallowed, the only thing keeping me from stalking to Olivia and pouring my jumbled feelings into a kiss was the presence of Dr. Adams.
Dr. Adams glanced to me, nodding slightly. “Mr. Reed. I hear from Tim your rehab is going quite well. I do hope you’ve felt supported here at the clinic.”
The tension in the air was so heavy, it was almost suffocating. Olivia wanted me out of here and fast. Between that and the inherent awkwardness of her boss’s knowledge of what had transpired between us, well, tense didn’t quite capture how the room felt. I couldn’t say I felt good at having put Olivia in this position, in fact I felt like hell over that part of it all. Yet, I’d have walked over hot coals to have her and didn’t want to let go.
I inclined my chin and nodded in return toward Dr. Adams. “I couldn’t ask for better care. Between Dr. Bowen and Tim, I won’t be surprised if I’m stronger than I was before when I return to play.”
Olivia kept her gaze studiously averted from me, but she wasn’t budging from where she stood by the door. I could either make this situation much, much worse by trying to insist she keep talking with me, or I could leave and regroup. I called upon every ounce of grace my mother instilled in me and walked to the door, passing a little too close to Olivia. “I was on my way out, so I’ll leave you two to talk.” I paused at the door, looking straight at Olivia. “I’ll be in touch.”
I knew it was brazen to say anything in front of her director, but I bloody well didn’t care. I had to force my feet to move. The office door closed behind me, and I kept walking, my heart sick and my stomach nearly chewing itself up.
Chapter 26
Olivia
I walked quickly through the chilly drizzle, my head down and my eyes on the sidewalk. I didn’t have to look up to know when I’d reached Desert Isle Café because the glow of light spilling from the windows glittered on the wet sidewalk. I was meeting Daisy for coffee. I’d almost backed out because I wasn’t quite up for talking about Liam, but I needed reinforcements. Last night, I’d turned off my phone after the first text from Liam, only to wake up to a several more from him, ending with: So you’re not going to talk to me this way. Right then. I won’t bloody give up.
I didn’t doubt for a second that Liam would show up at my apartment or office again. What I didn’t understand was why he wouldn’t just let it go. I wasn’t stupid enough to think what lay between us wasn’t powerful, but he had to realize it was smart to end things. I needed to get back to the life I used to have, the one where I took pride in my job and where the emotional tides of desire and need weren’t swinging me back and forth inside. I breathed through the knot of pain in my chest and pushed through the door into Desert Isle. This was one of my comfort places, always warm, always welcoming, and relaxed enough I didn’t have to worry about anything. A small sense of relief washed over me to be here. I saw Daisy already in a corner table with Harper and gave a quick wave as I headed to the counter.
Moments later, I slipped into the empty chair at the table and glanced between Daisy and Harper. “Hey there. Sorry I’m a few minutes late. I lost track of time while I was charting.”
“Hey, for once you were later than me,” Daisy said with a grin. “Harper, of course, was probably right on time.”
Harper rolled her eyes. “The only reason I’m usually on time is because if I’m on this side of town, it’s because I had a meeting somewhere other than my office. Anyway, how’s it going?” she asked, her warm blue eyes on me.
I could tell Daisy must’ve filled her in, otherwise she wouldn’t look so concerned. I didn’t bother to sidestep and looked between them. “I’m fine, perfectly fine,” I said, an edge of frustration in my tone. I’d been telling myself I was perfectly fine. My life would go right back to what it had been—drama free and without the emotional muddle of tripping and nearly landing on my face in my free fall dive into Liam.
Daisy had her coffee mug halfway to her mouth and set it down with a thump. “You are not fine. You look like hell. Liam tracked me down today too.”
“What?!” I interjected, my eyes widening and my pulse leaping.
“If you’d bothered to call me today, I’d have filled you in,” Daisy said with a thread of annoyance in her tone.
“I’m sorry. I was really busy at the clinic.” Daisy had texted around noon, telling me she needed to talk to me. I’d fired off a quick reply that it would have to wait until tonight. “So what did he want?” I couldn’t help the pitter patter of my heart, hope doing a little dance inside.
Daisy leaned back, her gaze softening. “Believe it or not, he wanted my advice. I don’t know what you said to him yesterday, but he’s pretty upset about it. What happened?”
I didn’t know what to think of the fact that my heart gave a little jump at hearing Liam was upset. It’s not like I wanted him to be upset, but at least I wasn’t alone in being a mess inside. I took a gulp of coffee, savoring the bracing flavor. “I guess I broke up with him. It’s not like we were really together, but I told him we needed to stop.”
Harper idly traced the edge of her mug and looked to me and then Daisy. “What did Liam say?”
“He said Olivia won’t talk to him, and he wanted my help. I asked him how much Olivia mattered…” Daisy swung her eyes in my direction. “And he said she meant everything. That man is seriously into you. I might think it’s stupid for you to wonder why he’s into you, but I get worrying about the whole thing. I feel responsible for blowing this up by texting you about that photo. He said you mentioned it and then explained the whole thing. Context always matters. Give the guy a chance. He looks like a lost puppy, and I think he seriously had to check his pride to come talk to me. Not to mention he actually had to hunt me down.”
“So what was your advice?” I finally asked. That stupid hope was running in circles in my heart to hear Liam had tracked Daisy down to ask her about me.
Daisy leaned back, her gaze speculative. “Not telling.”
“Not fair,” I said sullenly, taking a quick gulp of coffee.
Harper shook her head at Daisy. “Seriously?”
Daisy was unrepentant. “Seriously? I’m actually trying to be a good friend here. If there’s one thing I know about you,” her gaze swung to me “you’ve been way too committed to being alone. It’s not like I gave away any secrets. I just gave the man who’s so obviously in love with you a few pointers. That’s all.”
I stared at her, my heart drumming and my throat tight. To hear her so easily say Liam was in love with me did crazy things to me. Before Liam, my life had been tidy and calm. Even if I was trying to convince myself that was best, it was hard not to miss him acutely every other second.
Harper’s brows hitched up, and a low laugh escaped before she turned to me. “If there’s one thing you can trust about Daisy it’s that she’d kick Liam’s ass if she didn’t believe he was that into you. Maybe you should give him a chance.”
I tried to shove away the hope blooming inside me. I couldn’t let this sweep me right back into the foolish insanity. It was too overwhelming, too messy and made me feel out of control, which I definitely did not enjoy.
I wasn’t up for debating the point with Daisy and Harper, so I glanced between them. “Nothing’s going to change. He’s a famous sports star with women drooling over him. I’m a doctor with a pretty boring life, all things considered.” I took a sip of coffee and glanced to Daisy. “The photo was a good reminder of everything I’m not. That’s Liam’s life, not mine.”
My throat tightened and tears
pressed at the back of my eyes, so I drained the rest of my coffee and stood to get a refill. I didn’t want to keep discussing Liam. I wasn’t getting the reinforcement I’d hoped for from Daisy and Harper. I wanted someone to tell me my choice made sense. I got another coffee and returned to the table. Harper glanced up and looked as if she might say something, but instead she looped her arm over my shoulders and gave me a squeeze. When Daisy started to say something, Harper shook her head firmly as her arm slid off my shoulder. “Not now.”
Daisy gave her a hard stare and shrugged. Conversation moved on topics that had nothing to do with Liam. By the time I left a while later, I felt slightly lighter inside, if anything because I’d had a little time where my thoughts managed to temporarily skip off the groove of Liam deepening in my mind.
Hours later, I lay in bed, my eyes wide open and the ache of missing Liam keeping me awake.
Chapter 27
Liam
“What the…?!” My last word was choked off by the towel slapping against my face.
I grabbed it and yanked it off, promptly tossing it right back at Alex. “What the hell?” I asked, finishing my question this time.
Alex caught the towel and flung it into the hamper before leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms. He’d just finished showering and his hair was damp and sticking up in a rumpled mess. That didn’t detract from his glower. When Alex was pissed, it showed. “Bloody tired of you moping around. Go talk to Olivia before I drag your sorry arse to her.”