by Sara Rider
He brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. “Not tonight.”
“No?”
He shook his head. “No games. Just you and me.”
He led her to the bedroom and stripped off her clothes with the kind of teasing slowness that made her skin break out in goose bumps. He walked her to the edge of the bed and nudged her down until she was resting on her back, then went to his knees. He cupped her left heel and raised her foot.
“What are you doing?”
“Taking my time.” He kissed her ankle, gliding his lips up the side of her calf. A shiver rolled through her spine when he reached her knee, zeroing in on the spot that was simultaneously ticklish and erotic.
She dug her fingers into the bedspread as he worked his way up her thigh, nudging her legs farther apart to make room for his broad shoulders. But he didn’t give her the relief she craved, instead pulling back just before he reached the top of her leg to start all over again on the other side.
Her rapid, uncontrolled intakes of breath made it hard to lie still as he worshipped her limbs. His hands ran up and down her legs with just enough pressure to sting her skin—a sharp contrast to the softness of his mouth. It was the sweetest kind of torture she’d ever experienced.
“I can’t get enough of you.” He set his hands on her hips and slid his tongue through her folds. The damp strands of his hair seemed to sizzle against her skin. Her back arched from the delicious rush of pleasure, but he held her down with his strong hands, licking her with agonizing deliberation. Tasting her. Tormenting her.
She came so quickly, there was no warning. Just an explosion of relief.
When the world stopped spinning around her, she reached for him. He caught her hands with his, interlacing their fingers and locking her arms at her sides. “Not done yet.”
He nuzzled her hipbone, resuming his trail of kisses and exploring her body like a treasure map. He kissed each rib bone before reaching the tender, erogenous underside of her breast. He swung her arms above her head like unfurling angel wings, keeping her fingers entwined with his, and teased her skin with his warm breath. He tightened his lock on her hands and sucked her nipple, making her cry out.
She loved the way he could make her scream just by playing with her breasts, but he didn’t linger there. He moved on to her neck, her ear, her cheek, leaving no inch of skin untouched. When he finally brushed his lips against hers, the sensuality nearly destroyed her. His tongue delved into her mouth, caressing hers like this was their own secret language. She’d never been kissed this way before. Never been so thoroughly torn apart by a man’s touch, and he hadn’t even penetrated her yet.
She poured all her need and desire into the kiss, lifting her pelvis to meet his steel-hard erection. He groaned against her mouth, but didn’t break the kiss. She circled her hips, tormenting him the only way she could from beneath the cage of his body.
He released her mouth and hands, breathing heavy. “You’re playing dirty.”
“Learned from the best.”
The slow, sexy smile that spread across his face would have burned her panties off if she weren’t already naked. “Funny thing is you’re making me question everything I thought I knew.”
She frowned. “What do you mean?”
“You undo me, Clem.”
She let her next question die on her lips when he reached for a condom from the nightstand. She wanted to live this moment as viscerally as possible, not analyze it to death.
He rolled the condom down his length and slid inside her, capturing her lips in the same instant. It was just sex, but it felt like more. Like they were connecting on some primal level. Every thrust brought them together in a way she couldn’t explain, but could feel deep in the marrow of her bones. He was ruining her. Destroying her. And even knowing this would only lead to heartbreak and pain, she would choose him all over again.
She clung to him as the pressure built deep inside her, wrapping her legs around his waist like she could keep him there forever. He kissed her and filled her until she lost herself in him. He’d brought her to the edge so many times this week that her anticipation heightened her senses until every little touch felt electrically charged.
He brushed her hair off her face and pressed his lips to her ear. “Come for me, baby. Don’t hold back.”
Her orgasm ripped through her, obeying his command. Only the press of his lips against hers anchored her against the euphoric weightlessness. He shuddered, tightening his grip in her hair before collapsing on top of her.
After a few minutes, he rolled off her, but kept his legs entwined with hers. “What are you thinking?”
She forced herself to smile. Over the past week, she’d felt so much bolder than she ever had before. She’d asked for what she wanted. Demanded it, even. And it worked. Her family was listening to her for the first time in her life and she had the man of her dreams in her bed. But she couldn’t bring herself to say the one thing to Jake that she really wanted to. He’d told her this was all there was, and she wasn’t going to ruin everything by crying over something she couldn’t have. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”
20
Jake was acting weird this morning. He’d woken up in a good mood, but rolled out of bed before Clem managed to open her eyes and tempt him for another round. Instead of spending their remaining few hours beneath the covers or lounging together by the dock, he’d spent the morning carefully folding their clothes and packing them back in their bags. Now, he was busily wiping out the kitchen sink even though they’d barely used the kitchen at all in the past week.
“You know, the rental fee included an obligatory charge for a cleaning service that will take care of the sink. You don’t have to do it.”
Watching Jake go on a cleaning spree over the last hour was starting to amp up her anxiety. She kept her own home tidy for the sake of her mental clarity—messes weren’t conducive to inspiration when she was working from home—but she didn’t actually enjoy the process the way Jake seemed to.
“I grew up with lots of housekeepers. It didn’t take me long to figure out that if I made their lives easier, they returned the favor. One of them who didn’t like me at all made sure to vacuum the hallway outside my room at seven in the morning every Sunday because she knew I’d be hung over.”
Clem raised her eyebrows.
“I told you I was a punk kid, but Esther made sure I got my shit together real quick. Besides, it’s good for me to get my hands dirty.”
Everything he said was inflected with a subtle edge of guilt, like he was still trying to atone for his past. “There are better ways to get your hands dirty.”
He glanced up with a smoldering look in his eyes that heated to an inferno as he washed his hands and crowded her against the wall. He nipped her bottom lip, stoking her excitement. “Feeling a little restless?”
“We leave in a few hours. I don’t want to spend the rest of our time here cleaning.”
“Neither do I, but I’m not going to let your family pack up by themselves. Come on, let’s go help them load up their cars, and then we can have some fun.”
“I’ll meet you out there after coffee.”
He kissed her cheek and bounded out the door like he was actually looking forward to more work.
She brewed the coffee and savored the warm, earthy taste. In spite of everything that had happened, she’d managed to find some inner peace this week. Enough to be able to accept the fact she still had a ridiculous amount of work to do when she got back home. New furniture. New window. An imminent deadline for Forbidden Sins. But she didn’t feel overwhelmed by it all. The squeezing in her chest wasn’t there. Instead, there was a calmness where her anxiety normally lived.
She finished her coffee and went out to help with the packing. She found Jake down by the water talking with Andrew and Mike about god knows what. If she didn’t know better, she would have said it looked like they were plotting some secret conspiracy. But the truth was, he was probably just trying to avoi
d her.
Making sure her expectations for what would happen when they got back to Shadow Creek weren’t out of order. Clem was okay with that. Or at least, she would be.
The way he’d looked at her and held her last night felt too much like making love, though she knew he was just trying to give her closure. He didn’t want more, but he’d given her a taste of what it could be like to find the right guy. Someone who would treat her like a queen. The easy intimacy. The explosive chemistry. The laughter. The fun. She would find it again. As soon as she got over Jake, because right now it felt like her heart had been ripped out of her chest and shredded into tiny little pieces.
Wallowing wouldn’t get her anywhere, so she got to work. “Dad, what car do you want me to stick this cooler in?”
“I’m not sure. Ask your mom.”
She shook her head with a smile. Her parents had been together for decades and still couldn’t make decisions without consulting each other first. It was a chaotic way to live, but it was also a sign that they loved each other fiercely.
Clem set the big empty cooler on the grass and made her way into her parents’ cabin. She’d expected to find her mother inside, but there was no one in the kitchen or front room. “Mom?”
The silence that followed prickled her nerves. She’d seen her mom come in here a few minutes ago, and there’d been no sign she’d come back out. Then again, it wasn’t unusual for her mom to get completely caught up in some minor detail and lose sight of the world around her. Clem climbed the stairs, figuring she’d find her in one of the bedrooms.
She called for her mom again and twisted the handle on the door to the first room on the right.
“Just a second,” her mom answered in a panic right as Clem pushed the door open and walked through. The two of them collided, and a rainbow of pills flew out of her mom’s hands.
“Mom? What’s going on?”
Her mom’s face blanched. “Nothing, dear.”
Clem looked at the scattered pills, then at the three small bottles in her mom’s hand. It was none of her business, but she couldn’t stop herself from snatching them for a closer look. She recognized the labels. A statin, a beta-blocker, and a bottle of aspirin. The blood in her veins went cold. “Mom, these are the kinds of things you take when you’ve had a heart attack. Why do you have them?”
Her mom waved her hand like it was nothing, then crouched down to clean the mess. “It was just a small one.”
Clem stumbled backward. Her mom was healthy. Young. Vibrant. Not the kind of woman who had a heart attack. The chill spread to Clem’s bones until she was frozen in place. “When?”
“Three months ago, and I’m just fine as long as I take my pills and keep my stress down. Now help me with this mess before the twins come running up here and get their hands on these.”
“Do Chastity and Clover know?”
“Of course. They had to cover for me at the shop for a couple of days while I was in the hospital.”
A couple of days? Her mom hadn’t even taken a real break after a near-death experience.
She dumped three aspirins back into the bottle, trying not to think about the fact these little white pills might be the only thing keeping her mom alive. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her mom leaned back on her heels, looking her in the eye for the first time. “Because I knew you would worry too much, and that would make me worried. The doctor said I needed to keep my stress down, so that’s what I’ve been trying to do.” She cupped Clem’s cheek with one hand. “I’m fine. Really. I swear.”
There were too many jumbled thoughts in her brain in that moment. Too many questions. Too much guilt. How could she be mad at her mom for lying to her when Clem had just done the same thing this week? And yet, she was so angry and hurt and confused, she could barely focus her thoughts. “Is that why you’ve been trying to set me up with all these guys lately? Because me being single is giving you too much stress?”
Her mom’s eyelids fluttered downward, scanning for any remaining pills in the worn brown carpet. She took a deep breath and grimaced. “I’m your mom. It’s my job to worry about you. You’ve always been so quiet. So shy. You live alone in that house and you work a job that doesn’t let you meet any other people. After I had the heart attack, I started to wonder what would happen to you if I died. Who would take care of you? But I understand now that I didn’t have to be so concerned. Seeing you with Jake has made me so happy this week, and the vacation has done wonders for my stress. I’m so glad you finally told us about him.”
Oh god. If her mom had found out about the robbery…or the fact Jake was nothing but a fake boyfriend? Clem shivered. She couldn’t even bring herself to think about the impact on her mom’s health if any of that came out. The best thing she could do right now was find a way to convince them a few days from now that she and Jake had broken up amicably. After that, she’d let her mom fix her up with whatever guy she wanted.
It wasn’t like finding a man on her own terms had gotten her anywhere with the opposite sex. If settling for some guy her family picked out for her made her mom happy and healthy, then Clem would suck it up and agree to whatever blind dates they wanted.
She helped her mom collect the last of the pills in silence, too scared that opening her mouth right now would let one of her secrets slip out. After, she grabbed her mom’s bag of clothes and brought it to the deck for her parents to figure out how to load it into their van in a way that would still let them close the doors properly.
Jake came up to her and grabbed her hand as soon as she set the bag down. “Hey. Everything all right?”
She inhaled deeply and forced a smile to her face. “Of course. Just a little sad to be leaving this stretch of paradise.”
“Then come with me. We still have a couple hours before we need to be out of here and I have an idea how to make this trip even more memorable.”
She followed him to the dock, grateful to have something to distract her from thoughts of her mom at this moment. “One last fishing trip?”
“Better. You’ll see.”
She stepped into the boat, curiosity filling her as he brought the motor to life. There was an excitement buzzing from him as he drove them across the large, calm lake. It was infectious, in spite of the bombshell that had been dropped in her lap minutes ago. She’d never met someone who could lift her mood so easily.
She wiped the droplets of water that had splashed into her face and let herself enjoy the ride. She knew their time together was coming to an end, but she wasn’t going to spoil the last couple of hours by pouting and making the long drive home more awkward than it needed to be.
He cut the engine not far from the spot where she’d taken him fishing a few days ago—as close to the small island as they could get without running the boat aground. Jake jumped into the knee-deep water and tied the line to a low-lying tree.
A plaid blanket was laid out on a flat section of rock, with a cooler on top. “Is that—”
“Your romantic breakfast? Yep.” He helped her out of the boat, holding one hand while she carried her sandals in the other and balanced on the slippery boulders beneath the water.
When they reached the blanket, she realized this was more than just a picnic. A half-dozen small tea lights, safely enclosed in tall glass containers, were set inside the cup holders on top of the cooler, and little yellow buttercups and dandelions were scattered around the blanket.
Her mind couldn’t make sense of what she was seeing, not just because it was still early in the morning. She bent down and picked up a dandelion, twirling the stem between her fingers.
He rubbed his hand behind his neck, looking sheepish. “Couldn’t get rose petals out here on short notice.”
“How did you get any of this out here?”
“Had some help from your brothers-in-law. Olive, too.”
She sat down on the edge of the blanket while he opened the cooler and handed her a plate that had been ensconced inside. “Last night
’s chocolate cake?”
“I convinced Darlene to let me steal the leftovers. There’s also a plate of bacon if you prefer.” He took out a little juice box next and poked the straw into the hole before handing it to her. “Sorry, no champagne either.”
“I still don’t understand. What is this about?”
He set the food down and grabbed her hands. “This week with you has been amazing, maybe the best of my life, and I don’t want it to end.”
Her voice went dry. “Um, I pretty sure the cabin is booked for tomorrow, and the new renters might get a little peeved if we’re still here when they arrive.”
He shook his head. “I don’t mean here. I mean you and me. Us.”
“Us?”
“There could be an us. I want to try. For real. No more fake dating stuff. Just you and me.”
Her heart thudded against her chest. “But you said—”
“I know.” He tucked a wisp of hair behind her ear, sending a shiver rolling down her spine. “I didn’t think I was capable of being in a relationship with someone anymore. I didn’t think I had anything left to give. The truth is, I’ve been afraid of becoming the guy I was. The selfish asshole who didn’t think twice about hurting people. But these last few days with you, I’ve started to see things differently. You’ve made me believe I can be a different person. A good one. Maybe I’ll never be good enough for you, but I’m damn well going to try.”
She didn’t have the words to respond to that. She leaned forward and kissed him, infusing everything she wanted to say into the press of her lips. His hand went to her waist, and before she knew it, the sweetness of the kiss was replaced by heat. He lowered her to the ground, bracing her back with one arm, and inching the other hand up beneath her shirt to cup her breast. She wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him on.
He pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavy. “I haven’t finished what I need to say.”
Her body was screaming for him to hurry up and spit it out but her heart had been waiting too long to hear what came next to rush. “I’m listening.”