by Anne Herries
‘I called to tell them, but perhaps they did not hear me. It is too difficult to explain, but I felt...so useless and thought a walk would do me good. I did not think anyone would know I was here.’ Madeline felt the shudder that ran through him at the thought of what might have happened. She gazed up at him, her eyes wet with tears. ‘Oh, Hal, I thought you might have been killed. I wrote to you, but you did not come...’
‘I was wounded and laid low of a fever for a few days.’ He gazed down at her, an expression of hurt mixed with bewilderment in his eyes. ‘Why did you not tell me where you meant to go? I could have been here so much sooner.’
‘I was not sure...’ Madeline looked away from his searching gaze. How could she explain the doubts and fears that assailed her whenever he was not by? ‘We were afraid my husband might discover where I had gone—and it seems he has.’
‘No,’ Hallam said and frowned. ‘Those men did not come from Lethbridge.’
‘How can you be sure?’
‘Because he is dead.’ She gasped in shock and he held her hands tighter. ‘We fought a duel, Maddie, but it was not I who killed him. He fired on the count of fourteen, but I turned as he did so and his shot struck my arm. Had I not turned, he would surely have killed me—just as he was murdered by an assassin’s ball that struck him in the back.’
‘He fired too soon in the hope of killing you? How could he be so vile?’ Madeline was stunned and amazed. ‘My husband was murdered, you say...but by whom, do you know? Have they caught him?’
‘No one saw who did it. He was just a shadow in the trees. I was injured and my friends thought first of me—Lethbridge’s seconds of him. The rogue had the advantage of surprise and disappeared before anyone thought of going after him.’
‘But who could want him dead?’ It did not seem possible that such a thing could have happened.
‘Lethbridge may have had many enemies. He was a cheat, a liar and a murderer himself, Maddie. Do not waste your pity on him.’
‘No, I shall not,’ she said and shivered, her hand trembling in his. Whoever had killed Lethbridge had released her from a marriage she had never wanted and her stunned mind could not quite take it in. ‘It is a horrible thing to say, but I can only feel relieved that he can no longer command me.’
‘You will never be at his mercy again,’ Hallam said. ‘I would have killed him had I the chance, for your sake—but the assassin struck first.’
‘For that I am glad. I should not want his blood on your hands, Hal.’
‘I admit that it would not have been pleasant, but I would have done it to set you free.’
‘Thank you...’ She gazed up at him, looking puzzled as she began to think more clearly. ‘But if those men who tried to kidnap me just now were not sent by my husband, who sent them? I cannot think who would want to kidnap me.’
‘I am not certain, for there might be several men who would wed you for your fortune,’ Hallam said.
‘My fortune?’ she asked in a bewildered tone. ‘I have nothing but a few clothes and trinkets Sally packed for me.’
‘I do not know exactly how your fortune stands after your husband’s death, but I believe he has no other family—unless there may be a distant cousin. I imagine that much of what he owned will come to you once any debts have been paid, though of course the title will lapse since there was no son, unless a relative is found.’
‘I think he had none...that I’ve heard of.’
‘A distant cousin could inherit the title and the estate if it is entailed—but your settlement, jewels and carriages would belong to you and you might have a claim on at least one of the houses.’
‘I want only my jewels and sufficient to live on,’ she said, instantly repulsed by the idea of a fortune from her late husband. ‘The settlement that should have been mine on marriage is all I require.’
‘I think your father may have other ideas about what is your due. After I told him of the way you were treated, he said that you were welcome to return home and he would claim your rights on your behalf.’
‘I am glad Papa accepts that I was not treated fairly but...’ She looked up at him. ‘I do not wish to live with my family. I fear that Papa might try to marry me to another rich man when my period of official mourning is done. If I place myself under his jurisdiction he can command me to obey him once more.’
‘Yes, he might,’ Hallam agreed. ‘You alone should decide what you wish to do about your husband’s fortune, but I imagine your father has already claimed it in your name. I know he intended to contact the count’s lawyers immediately.’
‘Please, do not ask me to go home,’ Madeline said, her throat catching with emotion. ‘I would prefer a house of my own if I can afford it.’ She could not beg him to take her to his home unless he asked her to be his wife. Yet had she the right to ask so much of him? Would he want her if he knew what the count had made her suffer—and its terrible toll on her?
‘No, I shall not take you to your father’s house,’ he said, thinking that he would not truly trust Sir Matthew to take proper care of his daughter. ‘I want to make you safe, Maddie. I want to protect you and care for you—if you will let me?’
‘Oh, yes, please, Hal,’ she said on a sob. ‘Take me somewhere safe. I cannot stay here after what happened this morning. Who do you think sent those men to kidnap me?’
‘I cannot be certain, but I suspect the Marquis of Rochdale.’
‘Lord Rochdale...’ Madeline’s throat tightened and she swayed towards him. ‘No, oh, no. I could not bear to be his prisoner, Hal. I fear that man more than my husband...he will not forgive me for leading him on and then repulsing him in the garden that night. It is surely his reason for trying to have me kidnapped. He wants to punish me.’
‘That may be part of his reason for wanting you in his power,’ Hal said thoughtfully. ‘But there may be others.’
‘You think he wants Lethbridge’s fortune?’
‘Perhaps. I think your husband may have owed him a large sum of money from a gambling debt.’
‘He shall be paid somehow. If the estate passes to me, I shall pay all his debts.’
‘You are owed something after the way he treated you, Maddie. You must keep enough for yourself.’
‘I wish that I need take nothing from Lethbridge. I hated him at the end. My settlement is mine by right and it would surely be sufficient—if my husband has not already spent the capital. He was deeply in debt to Rochdale, I believe...’
‘I have little fortune, but I should be honoured to offer what I have.’
‘Oh, please, do not speak of the future yet. I feel...abused, unclean,’ Madeline said and shuddered. ‘If only my father had not been so foolish with his money and I need never have wed him.’
‘As to that, I have been told that Lethbridge cheated your father at the card tables, just as he cheated others. I exposed Lethbridge for a cheat at the tables and he challenged me to a duel...but a friend of mine believes that he once killed a young man to protect his secret.’
‘He was an evil man and I shall not mourn him,’ Madeline said and now the shine of tears in her eyes had been replaced by anger at the way that both she and her father had been tricked. ‘I refuse to wear black for him. Why should I?’
‘I do not require it of you,’ Hallam said, ‘however, I fear we must observe a period of mourning. If you were to marry before six months were out, people might suspect that I tried to murder your husband to get you. And I would have killed him if I’d had to, Maddie.’
‘Hush,’ she said and pressed her fingers to his lips. ‘Speak of him no more, Hal. I would prefer to forget him.’
‘We shall do our best,’ he said and smiled at her. ‘You asked me to take you away. My cousin, Adam Miller, has just returned from his honeymoon in Scotland. He is to stay at Ravenscar for a few weeks before t
ravelling abroad and my uncle has asked me to join them for a time. Adam and I have business to discuss. I shall take you there for you will be safe with my family.’
‘What if the marquis finds me again?’
‘Adam will have the keepers patrol the grounds, Maddie. Ravenscar is well staffed and protected and you will be safe there.’
She was hesitant. ‘I hardly know them. And Lethbridge was a friend of Mrs Miller’s father...’
‘Jenny is a lovely person and I know she will welcome you, as will Adam,’ Hallam said. ‘I would take you to my home, but it needs refurbishment and is too close to your friend’s farm to be safe for you until we have settled with whoever is trying to abduct you. I intend to sell out my army commission, but I may be called back to the regiment in the meantime. If that happens, I would wish to know that you were safe with my cousins. If I left you alone, I should not know a moment’s peace.’
‘Yes, perhaps that would be best,’ Madeline said, giving in because she had nowhere else to go, though she could not like the idea of imposing on people she hardly knew. ‘You, Hal, shall guide me, for the time being. I have nothing until Lethbridge’s affairs are settled and must rely on the generosity of others...’
‘You know that all I have is at your disposal, Maddie,’ he said. ‘There is little enough, God knows, but I hope to settle things soon and then I shall at least be able to provide a comfortable home for you should you wish it.’
Madeline hesitated. He was gallant and generous and she wanted to accept his offer, but he’d made no mention of his feelings. She could only accept if he were to offer her his heart. And even then, could she be the wife he deserved?
Lethbridge had soiled and despoiled her. Now that she was free of him she should be thinking of the future, and she wanted nothing more than to be Hal’s wife, but she was not certain she could ever allow a man to touch her again—even the man she loved.
Would Hal still love her if he understood what her husband had done to her?
* * *
‘I am sorry you must leave us,’ Hattie said and kissed Madeline on both cheeks. ‘Yet I know that it would not be safe for you to stay here if this wicked person is bent on kidnapping you. We would care for you as best we could, but we could not protect you if he is determined to take you captive. You will be safer with the major’s family.’
‘I would not wish to bring harm to you,’ Madeline said. ‘I’ve been content here and thought I might like to live nearby, but for the moment it may be best if I live with Hal’s family. They have a big estate and if I stay within its bounds I should be safe enough. Once again this man—whoever he may be—must find me before he can harm me.’
‘It beats me how he came to find you here,’ Hattie said, looking distressed. ‘He must have had you followed.’
‘Yes, or someone followed Thomas perhaps, which makes me anxious for him, though I would not say so to Sally,’ Madeline said. ‘I believe Hal scared the rogues off this time and it will be a while before he sends someone else to hunt me down. Perhaps he will not bother now that he knows I have such good friends.’
She could only hope that the marquis would decide she was not worth the bother and forget her. There were many women richer and more beautiful than she—even if her husband’s money came to her. Why should he waste his time pursuing her?
‘We must pray he will not.’ Hattie nodded and patted her hand. ‘You will write to me and let me know how you are?’
‘Yes, of course.’ Madeline embraced her. ‘Perhaps I can visit again soon in happier times. If God wills it I may even come to live near you one day.’
‘He’s a good man,’ Hattie whispered in her ear. ‘I think you could not do better than wed him when he asks.’
Madeline felt the heat rush into her cheeks and glanced at Hal, but he was speaking to Sally and noticed nothing. He’d hired a chaise for her and Sally and would himself ride beside them with a groom he’d found somewhere. The man was ex-army by his look and no doubt handy with his pistol. Thomas had not yet returned from London, but Hattie had promised to tell him where to find them, though she swore that she would not say a word to anyone else.
‘Wild horses would not drag it from me,’ she said, ‘but I’ll send your young man to you, Sally, when he returns.’
Sally blushed, but she was feeling too anxious over Thomas’s late return to do more than thank their kind hostess. She gathered up a few of their belongings and went out to the chaise.
Madeline followed, glancing back to watch as Hal took his farewell of the farmer. They seemed to have much to discuss and she wondered what could be keeping him, but then they shook hands and Hal came out just in time to hand her into the chaise.
‘Jenkins was telling me of some land that has come up for sale,’ he said. ‘I’ve asked him to buy it for me if it goes for a price I can afford.’
‘You are thinking of settling here, then?’
‘Yes, I believe it will suit me,’ Hal said and smiled in a way that made her heart beat faster. ‘I have good friends here and with some improvement and perhaps in time an enlargement, the house will make a comfortable home. To settle my father’s debts I must sell his estate. What little remains may be invested here. I do not have a fortune to offer any lady, Maddie, but I hope it may be enough for the woman I care for—if she loves me.’
‘I am certain it would be,’ she said and her heart fluttered.
‘I am not yet in a position to ask anyone to wed me,’ Hal went on, ‘but we shall speak more of this another time.’
She murmured something appropriate for although she longed to declare her love for him, she did not wish to make him feel he must wed her. Hal had loved her to distraction once, but she’d hurt him, sending him away with harsh words. He’d fought a duel with her husband for her sake, and he would protect her from the marquis, if it was he that was bent on abducting her. But did he still love her? He had spoken vaguely of caring for her and keeping her safe, but Hal was a man of honour. By his code he could do no less. Madeline was not certain that he loved her as he once had, for she knew he would do his utmost to protect any lady he discovered in trouble.
When he looked at her sometimes her heart raced and she believed that he did love her, but at other times she was uncertain. He would wed her rather than see her at the mercy of unscrupulous rogues who wanted her for her beauty and perhaps the fortune they imagined Lethbridge had left her—but Madeline wanted him to love her as he had before she married.
Perhaps if she was certain of his love she would be able to give herself to him...to welcome his touch in their bed. It was what she wanted, longed for—to be loved and to be able to love in return. Yet even the thought of intimate relations brought a rush of unwelcome memories, making her stomach twist. If she shuddered when Hal touched her intimately, he would be hurt. In time he would turn from her as her husband had and then he might hate her.
What was she to do if this feeling of being soiled never left her? Must she remain unwed and alone for the rest of her life? Tears caught at her throat, but she could not let them fall. She could not tell Hal of her fears—because she could not bear to see the gentle kindness in his eyes turn to scorn. How could she expect him to understand her fears...the revulsion for the intimate side of marriage that Lethbridge had instilled in her?
No man would continue to love a woman who could not bear his touch: it was not to be expected.
What would become of her if she sent Hal away?
She was a widow now and Hal would not be the only gentleman to admire her. If she chose to re-enter society once her period of official mourning was over, she might find a man who loved her for herself and took no account of her fortune or lack of it. In her heart, she knew there was only one man for her—but she was already in his debt and could not allow him to offer for her out of sympathy or a misguided sense of duty.
What if he was right? What if she could not make Hal happy, even though her heart ached with love for him?
Glancing sideways at his handsome profile, Madeline felt her love for him warming her, melting the ice she’d built inside as a barrier against pain. She hoped that they would have time to get to know each other again before Hal was forced to report to his regiment. Perhaps they might fall in love all over again...perhaps she would be able to make herself smile when he touched her.
She must conquer her fears. She was determined to put the past behind her. She would forget the things her husband had done. She would find happiness again...
Oh, please God, let her find a way to overcome this fear inside her.
Chapter Eight
‘Hal told us that he intended to bring you here,’ Jenny Miller said. She was a pretty, spirited girl and looked very happy. Madeline took to her instantly. ‘You are very welcome to stay for as long as you wish, Lady Lethbridge.’
‘Please, do not call me by that name—it is distasteful to me. I am Madeline or Maddie to my friends.’
‘Then I shall call you Maddie, if I may,’ Jenny said and took her arm. ‘I am sure you are weary from the journey and would like to go to your room and make yourself comfortable?’
‘Yes, I should,’ Madeline said gratefully. ‘You have a beautiful home, Jenny.’
‘Ravenscar Court is not truly our home,’ Jenny confided as they walked up the magnificent staircase arm in arm. ‘Adam is having some work done at his estate, and, besides, we are staying here to keep Lord Ravenscar company while his son Paul is in Italy. He has been in terrible affliction over the death of his eldest son, as have we all. Mark was to have married my best friend, Lucy Dawlish, and it was to be with her and attend the wedding that I came down. The tragic events of that time drew Adam and me together—and we feel we would wish to keep Lord Ravenscar from feeling lonely until Paul returns. We hope for his return by spring and then we shall take a trip to France or Italy.’