“I’m down with that, Stace. How ‘bout you, Tali?”
“You guys can drop me off at home. I have a date tomorrow and I’m tired,” she said, yawning for effect.
“You are so wack, Tali. Let’s go to Guys and Dolls, Monie.”
“That’s cool with me. I’m going to dance all night and go home and crash all by my lonesome.”
“What’s up with Deon, Simone?” Talise asked, yawning again.
“He’s good. We hang out a few times a week, and talk a few times a day. I’m still not sure what’s up with him, though. He’s definitely not like your average ball player.”
“I guess he’s not much of a challenge for you since he’s so into you. Girl, you better see what’s up with that man. He’s really sniffin’ your ass, stayin’ up in the hospital with you and all,” Stacey commented, teasingly.
“And how he sent her ass flowers for every damned day that she was in that place,” Talise added.
“That ain’t shit to him, Talise. What? Maybe a hundred dollars a day on some tulips? Hell, that ain’t doing shit to him but making his game tighter, or so he thinks. I’m not a fool. I know how this shit works. Be nice in the beginning, get her to like you, and then flip the script. I’m not havin’ that. That’s why ain’t no man getting’ my heart, ‘cause 90 percent of the time, they leave. I’d rather block out all that emotional shit and be realistic.”
“Monie, you can’t live your life like that. Not all men are like that. Why do you feel like that, anyway? You never give a man a chance to leave you. You’re the one that always leaves,” Talise added, sympathetically.
“But I’ve seen it, Talise. Look at how hurt you were when you broke up with Davis. That nigga had you shook. Look at the shit that happened with you and J.J. That fucker lied from the beginning and played you like a damned game of spades. Look how my mother was when my father was killed; he had her shook. Look how fucked up I was after Byron beat my ass like he was my pimp when all I did was love him since high school. Look at Mommy and Daddy Miles, your own parents, Talise. After all this damned time, they’re breaking up! Fuck that!” I felt a lump growing in my throat that was too big to swallow as Stacey sat, sipping the last of his drink and Talise stared at me like I had lost my mind.
“How can you compare your father dying and leaving your mother to abandonment? How can you compare Mommy and Daddy breaking up to abandonment? They’ve been together for almost 30 years! Byron is a fucking lunatic. Not your fault. And how dare you even bring up Davis, Simone. Fuck that! Loving is better than never loving at all. When you love someone, and I mean truly love someone, that shit feels so good you can’t compare it to shit else. Especially when that person loves you back. I’ll be damned if I spend my life like a coward, afraid to love someone, scared they’re goin’ to leave. Shit, a powerful woman is a woman in love!”
“Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit! I’ll be damned if I’m going to be stuck and fucking hurtin’ and cryin’, lying in the bed for weeks like you did when you broke up with Davis. Was love worth it then? Did you feel so damned powerful? I don’t think so. You hurt so bad that that shit hurt me. And yes, I’ve felt love. I loved Byron! He was my first love…shit, my first everything. But love didn’t stop him from stomping me to the ground like I was a man. I loved my father with all my soul, with all I had because he was all I had, and he fucking got killed. I know you’re going to say that it’s different, but he was my heart and I remember everything about him; how he smelled, how he smiled at me when he saw my face, how his presence alone quieted a whole room. I remember all that and, most of all, I remember feeling pain that I can’t even describe when I found out that he was dead. My heart was broken and still is all these years later. The pain doesn’t go away and I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy. So, why would I openly let myself be in a situation where I could feel anything remotely similar to that?” They were both quiet and looking away from me. “Exactly, I won’t!”
I got up and walked to the bathroom. I needed to get away from that table. I pushed the bathroom door open and stepped inside. I looked at myself in the mirror, willing the tears that were forming in my eyes to go away. Talise walked in and took me in her arms.
“It’s okay, Monie. It’s okay,” she whispered as she held me.
“I hate feeling like this. I would say sorry, but I meant what I said, Tali. I really did.”
“I know and it’s okay to have your own opinion, Simone. I can’t be mad at you because of that. I just want you to let go and quit being so hard.”
“I’m not trying to be hard, Talise, and you know that. This is just me and I can’t act like it’s not how I feel.”
“I know. That’s why I love you, because you keep it real. Now let’s go before Stacey comes in here after us and you know he will,” she said, laughing.
When we walked back to the table, Stacey had already paid the bill.
“Ready?” he asked.
“Yeah, we are,” I replied.
“You still want to go out?” Stacey asked.
“Hell yeah, even more so now. You still down, Stace?” I asked, looking at my beautiful friend who had gotten up from his seat and started stretching.
“You know I’m not tired. As long as you drivin’, I’m riding,” he replied, passing me the keys.
“Let’s go take the party pooper home then,” I said, poking Talise in her side.
“Whatever. I’m tired and I don’t feel like going to a club. That place gets too crowded anyway.”
“I don’t care about it being packed. As long as I can get my dance on, I’m cool,” Stacey said, pumping his arms back and forth looking like Rosie Perez in the beginning of Do the Right Thing. I grabbed Stacey’s hand and gave Talise my other to hold as the three of us walked out of the restaurant. This was my crew, my family. I don’t know what I’d do without them in my life.
Stacey
“I’ll be right back. I have to go release myself before I burst right here on this dance floor.” I handed Simone my drink and took off for the men’s room inside Guys and Dolls. I walked into the bathroom and was happy to see that there was a stall available. I bum rushed it like a runnin’ back. Anybody in my way was destined to get they ass knocked over. After four Long Island Ice Teas, a few shots of Sake and zero bathroom trips, I could’ve pissed right there in the middle of doin’ the Stanky Leg. I swear I be gettin’ my groove on.
“Damn, this my song!” I said aloud, as I rushed out of the stall headin’ to the sink to wash my hands. I was singin’ Empire State of Mind by Jay Z and I swear to you, I was soundin’ better than Alicia Keys. I was just twistin’ my hips and enjoyin’ myself right there in that bathroom when I felt someone starin’ at me. I looked up to see the most beautiful man. He diverted his attention when he saw that I caught him peekin’ and walked into the stall that had just become available. I dried my hands and walked out of the restroom, preparin’ to have to search for Simone. Knowin’ that girl, she could be anywhere. She’s always doin’ her own thing. I found her standin’ at the bar with some man in her face, as always. Simone was definitely a dip magnet. She could practically pull any man she wanted…and those that she didn’t. I walked up and grabbed my drink, still gettin’ my groove on. The DJ just mixed in 50 Cents’ Baby by Me and I was feelin’ it. This was exactly what I needed this Saturday night. I scooted onto the dance floor all by my lonesome and started cuttin’ a rug. I didn’t come to the party to stand around and look cute, especially when I could do both at the same time.
I did a little turn to get a 360 of the club because, once again, I felt someone starin’ at me, hard. I could literally feel the energy. I spotted the same guy from the bathroom who looked strikingly familiar. He was standin’ in the far corner of the VIP area surrounded by an entourage of people. Again, when he saw me look his way, he turned his head.
“Monie, have you ever seen that guy before standin’ right there?” I asked, pointin’ my shy observer out after Simone walked up on me shak
ing her ass, trying to prove somethin’. “I know I’ve seen him somewhere. I just can’t place his face.”
“Yeah, Stace. Duh! That’s Tyron Marks, President of QP Records. Hello! Where have you been in the last decade, my brotha? He’s the man. Why?”
“Because I caught him starin’ at me in the bathroom and then I just caught him starin’ again. But when I look, he acts like he wasn’t lookin’. I ain’t crazy. I felt him lookin’. I even caught him,” I replied, pullin’ Simone’s arm to lead her toward two stools at the bar that had just been vacated by two chicks in mini, mini skirts. I plopped down and looked over in Tyron Marks’ direction and, again, caught him lookin’, but this time, he didn’t immediately turn away. We locked eyes for a good four seconds, makin’ my heart skip a beat and my stomach flutter.
“What in the fuck was that?” I asked aloud, not expectin’ an answer.
“I saw that shit, Stace!” Simone shouted, too loudly, into my ear. “You know he’s dating that singer, Tomi Jordan? They’ve been together for years now.”
“Yeah, I remember who he is now. Damn, that fool want some of this! I want to give him some, too,” I said, laughin’ and nudgin’ Simone in the arm.
“Yeah, he’s had some dick before. A lot of those industry fools be fucking guys. Just be careful, babe. I’m going to the bathroom. I’ll be back.” Simone walked off and left me sittin’ there, wonderin’ what that man had sent through me. It was electrifyin’ but also terrifyin’. I could feel his power. It was as if his eyes looked straight through to my soul. Damn! I ain’t scared, though. I ain’t scared.
I heard the doorbell ringin’ from the lounge chair I was lyin’ on in my backyard by the pool.
“Who in the hell is at my door?” I said aloud, like someone was goin’ to answer my question. I wasn’t expectin’ anyone, especially on a Sunday, one of my few days off. Everybody that knows where I live knows not to drop by my house without callin’. I’ve been workin’ 14 and 15-hour days since Simone was in the hospital, so I didn’t want to see anyone today.
“I’m comin’!” I yelled, walkin’ down the hallway that led to the front door. “Who is it?” I asked, as I looked through the peephole.
“FedEx, you have a package.” I was skeptical, but I opened the door anyway. I signed for the package and walked back out to my cozy spot by the pool. I sat down and began to tear away at the box. I wasn’t expectin’ anything and I sure as hell didn’t know that FedEx delivered on Sundays.
I tore open the package and almost pissed my pants when I saw what was inside. A big black dildo that had to at least be 12 inches in size, if not more, a small bottle of KY Jelly, and a note that simply read,
I think of you and only you
when I’m pleasing myself
with this toy.
Think of me when you please
yourself. It’s exactly my size
and exactly the one I use.
I thought you should have it.
Enjoy,
Forever…Me
“What the fuck?” I yelled, as I jumped out of the chair, sendin’ the package and its contents tumblin’ to the ground. I started pacin’ back and forth. I had no clue what to do about this nasty shit. I knew who this was from without a doubt, and I was beyond livid; this shit has gone too far now. I picked up the box and tore off a paper towel from the roll that was on the glass table next to my lounge chair. I used the paper towel to pick up the large mass of black rubber and dropped it in the box, doing the same with the KY Jelly. After returnin’ the items to the box in which they came, I walked into my house and put the package on top of my bedroom closet and pushed it all the way to the back. As much as I wanted to burn that shit in my fireplace, somethin’ told me to keep it.
I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower to the hottest temperature that I could stand, stripped naked, and hopped in; I felt dirty. That was some nasty shit and it really spooked me out that that sicko knows where I live. After showerin’, I knew I had to get out of the house, so I called my buddy, Ron, to see what he was up to. I needed a good, stiff drink.
“Hey, what’s up? I need a drink. Do you know that sick motha fucka that sent me that watch sent some sick ass shit to my house?” I said in one breath, after he answered the phone.
“What? What did he send you?” Ron asked, soundin’ like someone’s sister instead of the plump five foot six, full bearded, cocoa brown complected man that he was.
“Just come and get me and I’ll tell you on the way to where ever you’re takin’ me. Just get me the hell outta here.”
“All right, I’m on my way. I’m already in the car. I was heading to Robertson to pick up some outfits. I’m styling for The Game starting tomorrow. I’m about to come up Laurel Canyon right now from Ventura.”
“Cool. Honk when you get out front and I’ll come out. I need to get the hell out of this house. It’s fucked up when you don’t feel comfortable in your own shit,” I said, still pissed off.
“That bastard ain’t that crazy. He don’t know who he fuckin’ with. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.”
“All right.” I hung up the phone and threw on my Rock and Republic, dark denim jeans that fit my ass just right, not too tight and not too baggy. I slipped on a V-neck tee and my brown Gucci sneakers. I pulled my hair into a bun and grabbed my Louis backpack. I was out the door before Ron could even toot his horn.
I felt a little more relaxed once outside the house, although still perplexed. We did some shoppin’ on Robertson for his gig the next day as I filled him in on the disgustin’ shit that the stalker sent. I followed it up with the story about Tyron Marks at Guys and Dolls. By the time we finished, it was close to 8:00 and both of us were starvin’.
We walked into Spago in Beverly Hills and were seated immediately, thanks to Ron’s super fashion stylist status, which I always tease him about. Ron could get you into the Pentagon with all the connections he has. We ordered our drinks and food and continued our gossip session when, in walked the man that had to be my soul mate, because I felt him near before I even saw Tyron Marks’ face.
Talise
I awoke at 11:00 a.m. with a headache that hurt worse than anything I’d ever experienced. I only had one hour to prepare for my date with Malachi, and I really felt like canceling. I honestly didn’t feel like being in the company of anyone, especially someone I didn’t know, but I also didn’t want to sit in the house and mope all day, either.
I tumbled out of my bed, walked into my bathroom, and headed straight for the medicine cabinet. I was relieved that I’d kept the bottle of extra strength Tylenol that Simone left in my car a couple of months ago. I’ve never been too keen on taking medication, but this was an emergency. It felt like my head was going to explode. I grabbed the bottle out of the medicine cabinet, opened it, and dropped a couple of the pills into the palm of my hand and then walked to the kitchen to pour myself a glass of orange juice to swallow the two capsules down with.
“Yuck, this is so disgusting,” I said aloud, sounding like a kid as the two pills slowly made their way down my narrow throat. I walked back into my bathroom and began filling the bathtub, skipping any bubble bath, afraid that the scent might add to my excruciating headache. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I went to retrieve the Essence magazine that I hadn’t had a chance to read, and then I immersed myself into the steaming hot water.
“It’s Malachi. Are you ready? Do you want me to come up?” His voice boomed from my intercom.
“No, I’ll be right down,” I replied, releasing the button and looking at the clock. It was 10 after 12:00. “Guess he’s not that perfect; he’s 10 minutes late,” I whispered, still in somewhat of a bad mood. I grabbed my purse and overnight bag and headed out the door, happy that the Tylenol did its job. I walked out of my building to Malachi’s beautiful smile and immediately felt better about not canceling our date.
“You look wonderful. Are you ready for our day?” Malachi asked, embracing me and gently pla
cing a kiss on my cheek.
“Thank you and, yes, very ready. Please take me away,” I said dramatically, as he led me to a silver convertible Ferrari. He held the door open for me as I handed him my overnight bag and slid onto the passenger seat.
“So, how has your weekend been so far, pretty lady?” he asked, as we headed west on Sunset.
“Not great, but I’m hoping to change that today. How about your weekend, did it get better for you?” I asked, referring to the loss of his patient.
“It did as soon as you walked out that door,” he smiled, sending heat sensations through my body with his dimpled smile. “You know, in my profession, we are taught to desensitize ourselves from the loss of patients or when one takes a turn for the worse, but I haven’t quite figured that out yet.”
“So, what do you do? I would think that if you didn’t desensitize yourself from it in some way, it would wear you down mentally.”
“Well, I haven’t quite figured that out, but I definitely don’t want to desensitize myself.”
“What made you want to be a doctor?”
“I wanted to be a doctor because my grandfather was a doctor. But the deal was sealed while he was dying of a rare form of bone cancer. He was in unbearable pain. The only thing that we could do was to try to make him as comfortable as possible and wait until it was time for him to go. During his battle, he was treated by one of the best oncologists in the nation. He was very good at what he did, but he was so desensitized and dehumanized. He spoke to us like he was a robot, just there to deliver news. He was so cold. I know he was there to do his job and treat his patients, but I would never want anyone to have to deal with a doctor like that if I could help it. To be that detached from my patients and their families is foreign to me. Sometimes, you have to let them see that you sympathize and empathize to really show that you care and did all that you could do to help their loved one.”
We small talked for another hour as we headed west on the 101 freeway. As we escaped the city, we enjoyed the sun and the cleaner and clearer air.
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