It felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me. I couldn’t wrap my head around what he just said. “Cervical cancer? She’s not expected to live much longer?” I mumbled the words as I sat there dazed and confused.
My Daddy stood up, walked around the desk, pulled me into his chest, and held me tightly. I blinked away the tears and let out a bloodcurdling cry as my dad rubbed my back. My mother and I had a rocky relationship after my parents divorced, but she was still my mother. Needless to say, Daddy let me go home early. I was too distraught to stay at work any longer.
*
A few days later, I was now settled into my new condominium. I should have been happy, but my mind was preoccupied with thoughts about my mother. I didn’t hate my mom, even though, as I got older, I didn’t have the best memories of our relationship. Yet, I still loved her. Kennard decided that he wanted to go to Jacksonville with me to visit her. The doctors had given her three weeks to live.
I just finished hanging up some picture frames when my cell phone chirped. I walked across my lush carpet towards the kitchen and picked up my cell phone from off of the island’s granite countertop. It was a text from Neron. He and I hadn’t spoken in a few days. I needed to clear my head and come to terms with my mother. I read the text message and smiled.
“Neron: Been trying to contact you. I need to talk to you. Hit me up.”
I texted him back saying I was leaving for a flight tomorrow and would hit him up when I touchdown. I didn’t feel like talking to him about my mom at this moment. It was best to tell him what was going on face to face. During high school, Neron knew how my mother was and the issues I dealt with because of her. I felt I grew up way too fast having to be a mother figure, as well as a sister to my brother. She hardly was home, which left little time for me to enjoy being a teenager and do the typical activities that a high school female should be doing.
I plugged my phone on the charger and looked around the living room. It was coming together nicely with the beige and brown patterns I chose. I heard my phone chirp again and I swiftly retrieved it. My mouth fell to the floor when I read the text message from Neron.
“Neron: Gabriela is getting released from the hospital today. She lost the baby. She had a fight with her mother. I’m thinking of letting her stay with me until she gets on her feet. What do you think?” I reread the text repeatedly and instantly felt bad for Gabriela and him. I was going to put my anger for Gabriela on the back burner because losing a child is never easy. Even though, she was grimy for what she did to me, I still felt sympathy for her.
I replied to his text message, saying I was so sorry about their loss; if there was anything I could do, and if he needed anything, please don’t hesitate to ask. I even told him that I was definitely going to reach out to Gabriela when I landed in Jacksonville. It felt like the right thing to do.
Chapter 12
Neron
I couldn’t believe it when I got the call from Gabriela saying that my daughter had passed away. I sat down on the couch and swigged down my fourth beer as my mind drifted to that night I got the call from Gabriela.
I had just finished putting away my clothes and shoes from Kimora and was in the process of rearranging my closet, when I got a phone call from an unknown number. I glanced at the screen for a few moments and ignored the call. I absolutely did not answer blocked or private calls. I jumped in the shower and quickly washed up. After my shower, I dried off and threw on some basketball shorts and a white tank. My phone alerted me that I had a voicemail. I checked my mailbox and it was Gabriela. She was crying and saying to call her. She rattled off the phone number, said she was in the hospital, and that it was urgent that I called her back. I ended the call and hastily dialed the number she’d given me.
“Hello,” Gabriela sniffled into the phone.
“What’s up? What’s so urgent? Everything okay?” My heart was beating as loud as a drum. I swallowed the lump in my throat because I knew something was terribly wrong.
“I---I lost the baby, Neron. My mom and I got into a… a fight. We put hands on each other and I started bleeding. I had to deliver the baby and she… she was stillborn. Do you want to come to the hospital to spend some time with her before they have to take her away?” She was stuttering and sniffing as she tried to continue to talk.
“Say no more. I’ll be there right now. What hospital are you at?” I asked, already throwing on a pair of jeans as I put my cell phone on speaker.
“I’m…I’m at Memorial,” she said softly.
“I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes,” I replied before we hung up. I slipped on an LRG shirt and some black, white, and gray Air Jordans. Part of me was hoping Gabriela was lying or it was some sort of tactic to get me to talk to her or something. As crazy as it sounded, I was really hoping that she wasn’t telling the truth.
I drove like a bat out of hell to the hospital. I made the drive in less than nine minutes. After I had found her room, I knocked and heard her softly say, “Come in.”
I walked into the room and saw Gabriela holding my princess. If felt as if I were having an out of body experience. I couldn’t hear any sounds or see anything around me but my daughter. I slowly walked towards the bed, not even acknowledging Gabriela.
She looked just like me. She was tiny since she was premature. She had a little pink and white hat on her head and looked like she was sleeping peacefully. I choked back the tears that were trying to be freed, but one was still able to escape my eyes. I sat down next to Gabriela and she handed me my daughter. She looked like a little baby doll. She was beautiful. Another tear slipped from my eye as I stared down at my daughter. I brought her fragile tiny body towards my lips and planted a soft kiss on her forehead.
For two hours, we sat and just held our daughter. Gabriela informed me about the fight between her and her mother. She pressed charges against her and she was arrested. Gabriela silently cried and apologized over and over. I felt partially to blame since I kicked her out. If I hadn’t kicked her out of my house, maybe my daughter would still be baking inside her mother’s belly.
My cell phone’s beeping jolted me out of my thoughts. I retrieved it and saw that Kimora replied to my text message. She stated that it was my call and that she was terribly sorry for my loss. She also said that she would see me tomorrow and she loved me.
I called Gabriela and she answered on the first ring. “Hola, Papi,” she said softly.
“How are you doing?” I asked compassionately. I legitimately felt terrible and even worse that Gabriela had to deliver our daughter alone.
“I don’t know. It feels so weird to leave the hospital without a baby and a belly. I miss her already, but she’s watching over us,” she said matter of factly.
“You need a ride from the hospital?”
“Yes. My car is here since I drove myself to the hospital, but I’m way too sore to drive and I’m on medication. I’m getting discharged now,” she replied. I could hear the smile in her voice. For some reason, I felt that she looked at our daughter passing as a means to somewhat get back together and that shit wasn’t going to happen.
*
Pulling up to the hospital, I saw Gabriela sitting in a wheelchair with a nurse standing behind her. Her hair was in a messy bun and she was rocking some 14k gold hoop earrings. She never went anywhere without earrings on – some shit about her face feeling naked. Gabriela was a beautiful woman. The only thing she didn’t have was my heart.
I jumped out of the car and helped usher her into the passenger seat. I closed her door and hopped inside. There was silence for about ten minutes of the ride until she spoke up.
“Thanks for your offer of letting me stay with you, but I need to be at home with my brothers. If I’m not there, DCFS can take them. I can’t have that happening. I appreciate the offer, though,” she said looking out of the window.
“Don’t mention it. When you’ve healed some more, we can come back and get your car. I spoke to Kimora, and she’s ver
y sorry about what happened. She’s flying in today,” I said as I made a left turn.
“How in the hell does she know what happened?” she yelled as she turned towards me.
“Ay yo, calm down on all that, Gaby. That temper of yours needs some readjusting,” I responded as I put on my blinker and turned into her apartments.
“We just lost our daughter and you out hoeing around with your leftovers,” she accused, unbuckling her seatbelt and crossing her arms across her chest.
“Fuck you mean! If you would’ve been responsible for once in your life, made the decision to shut your mouth, and walked away from ya Mammy, we wouldn’t have lost our daughter,” I yelled back.
I knew that shit was wrong of me to say, but damn this female had a way of pushing my buttons with her tongue.
“Fuck you, Neron!” she said, jumping out of the car and slamming the door shut.
“You lucky I even gave your bean head, plantain eating ass a ride after the shit you pulled when you destroyed my shit,” I said, backing out of the parking space as she stood by her front door.
I decided to head to Popeye’s, get me a two-piece combo, and then roll by ABC liquors to cop me a bottle. I needed to grieve. Daddy will always love you, Mia Dominga Lopez. We chose her middle name because it meant, “Belongs to the Lord.”
Chapter 13
Kimora
I couldn’t believe that Gabriela lost the baby. I truly felt terrible for her and Neron. Being the bigger person, I wanted to reach out to Gabriela and offer my condolences personally. I looked around my living room and went through a mental checklist of everything I needed to have packed. “I think this is everything,” I said to myself as I slid my feet into some gold Chanel sandals. The black and gold nail polish on my toes looked even better with my feet inside the expensive shoes. I touched up my makeup and eyed myself in the wall mirror. My natural hair was on fleek.
I looked over at Kennard, who had a blank expression on his face. He was terrified to see our mother in the state that she was in, but he wanted to see her nonetheless. Daddy offered to come along with us, but I declined. He was swamped with new clients and meetings. Besides, I was a big girl. I could handle Kennard and myself.
“Are you ready bro?” I asked my brother.
“Yeah, I’m all packed and ready,” he replied, emotionless, as he played some handheld game console.
“You sure you can do this?”
“Yes, sis. I’m not a baby anymore,” he snapped as he looked up at me.
I nodded and peeped out the window to see that our cab had arrived. We grabbed our luggage and loaded up the cab. We arrived at the airport in record time and had no issues boarding our flight.
*
We arrived in Jacksonville safely. The weather was warm and sunny, just like it was back in Miami. I pulled my sunglasses over my eyes as we walked toward baggage claim. After retrieving our bags, I rented us a Chevrolet Cruze to get around in. We headed straight towards Baptist Beaches Hospital to visit Mama. We checked in at the front desk, and I instantly felt my hands get clammy. I hated hospitals. Whenever I was in one, I felt like I was surrounded by nothing but germs and sick people.
After getting our mother’s room number, we sauntered towards her hospital room. I knocked and slowly opened the door. Mama was lying in the bed somewhat sedated. She looked fatigued, and I could tell she had lost weight. Gone was the vibrant woman I once knew. She looked defeated. Kennard immediately started crying, so I clutched his hand and softly squeezed it to let him know that I was right there with him. We approached her bed, and I bent down and delicately kissed her on the forehead. Her eyes fluttered, and she looked up at me with a smile on her face.
“I’m glad you came,” she said weakly as she glanced towards Kennard and grinned.
Kennard kissed her on the cheek, and we stood silent for a moment until she spoke up.
“I’m sorry that we have to meet up under these circumstances, but I love you two. I never stopped loving you all,” she said weakly in between coughs.
“Shhhh, don’t speak Mama,” I interrupted her before she could continue.
“No, you need to hear this and I need to say it. I’m sorry for being such a shitty mother. Kimora, you’ve grown up to be a wonderful young woman. Be better than me. Do better than me. You’ve done great with Kennard. I love you two,” said our mother as she started coughing uncontrollably. I pressed the button to alert the nurse.
A doctor and two nurses rushed into the room and we were asked to leave. Kennard started screaming and yelling as a nurse tried to usher us out of the room.
“I love you, Mama,” yelled Kennard as we were gently pushed out of the room. We sat down and I held Kennard’s hand, wiping the tears from his face with my other free hand.
After a few minutes, the doctor came out of the room with a distressed look on his face. Kennard squeezed my hand as my heart raced afraid of what the doctor was about to tell us.
“Hi, I’m Dr. Adam Roth. Your mother is okay. She’s stable and we’re about to prep her for surgery. After surgery, you’ll be able to visit her for a few minutes. We’re hoping this surgery will be a success and we can remove the entire tumor and not leave any cancer cells behind.”
I shook Dr. Roth’s hand and thanked him for informing us. He retreated back down the hallway as Kennard and I waited patiently for our mother to have surgery.
Chapter 14
Neron
I was in the middle of doing pushups when my phone rang. Working out was like therapy for me. It helped me stay fit and take my mind off of the bullshit that was surrounding me. I quickly jumped up and saw Kimora’s pretty ass face on my cell phone screen.
“Hello, beautiful,” I said smoothly into the phone.
“Hey Neron,” she whimpered into the phone.
“What’s going on?” I asked, sitting down on the couch.
“My mother had surgery and she slipped into a coma. She is why I came to Jacksonville. I wanted to see her in case things went bad. She had cervical cancer. We…well, Kennard and I, just left the hospital. Can I come by and see you? If it’s a bad time, we can meet up tomorrow. On second thought, I probably should head back to the hotel…” She was just rambling and I knew she was nervous about seeing me.
“Nah, you and Kennard come on through. Y’all can stay here tonight. How long are you in town?” I inquired. I couldn’t lie. I was real eager to see Kimora after all this time.
“Three weeks. Daddy found a temp to work the receptionist desk while I used my vacation hours to come down here to see my mother and take some time off from work,” she replied.
“Well, y’all come on through. Y’all need to be around somebody that loves y’all,” I said compassionately.
“Okay, well we’re out at the beach coming from the hospital, but we will be there. I still have your address saved from when you gave it to me the last time, so I’ll just put it into the GPS and we’ll see you in a few,” she said sweetly. I could tell she was trying to be strong for Kennard.
After we had hung up, I peeked inside my refrigerator to see what I could hook up for them. I glanced throughout the semi-stocked fridge. Good thing I had some chicken breasts already thawing out. I knew exactly what I was going to make. I quickly pulled out all of the ingredients needed to make sweet glazed chicken with broccoli atop a bed of rice.
I glanced at my house and thank goodness, I was a clean, organized type of nigga. I darted towards the bathroom to grab a can of Febreeze and lightly sprayed the room. I lit three candles my mom had given me as a housewarming gift. It was the first time I’d ever lit them bad boys. I freshened up, sprayed on some Liz Claiborne Curve Soul, and brushed my waves. I gargled with some mouthwash and jetted back towards the kitchen to start on dinner. I couldn’t wait to hug Kimora and have her in my arms again.
*
It was about forty-five minutes later and dinner was done and simmering. The aroma of the food had my apartment smelling like a five-star restaurant. A
s I was pouring two glasses of wine for Kimora and me, the doorbell rang. Now, I wouldn’t lie and say a nigga wasn’t excited to see her after a few years because I was. I wanted to run like the wind and answer the door, but instead I walked like I had some sense. I opened the door and saw Kimora for the first time since we were in high school and damn her pictures on Facebook didn’t do her justice. I noticed that her eyes were puffy, so I stepped aside to let her and Kennard in.
Kennard had gotten tall as hell since the last time I had seen him. He was almost my height, and he damn near sounded like David Palmer from the television show 24. After they had come inside, I dapped up Kennard and gave him reassuring words that his mother was going to pull through and be okay. I turned my attention to Kimora and pulled her into my arms as she let out a chilling cry. She wrapped her arms around my neck and I caressed her back. I glanced up and saw Kennard staring at me.
“I got her, bruh. Go help yourself to some Kool-Aid and dinner in the kitchen. She good,” I offered. He thanked me, and reluctantly walked off towards the kitchen. I could tell he was naturally concerned for his big sister.
I gently pulled Kimora towards the sofa and we sat down. I dried her tears with my thumb and kissed her gently on the lips. She welcomed it, sucking on my bottom lip. Shit drove me wild. We broke our kiss when Kennard entered the room with a plate full of food. Nigga could eat, I see. I passed Kennard the remote, stood up, and lightly tugged on Kimora’s right arm to stand up. She stood up and followed me towards my bedroom. I turned around and saw Kennard stuffing his face and channel surfing the television.
Once we entered my bedroom, I locked the door and watched Kimora delicately sit on my bed. Even in turmoil, she was beautiful. Her natural curly hair looked sexy as she looked down at her hands in her lap. Gone were the bushy eyebrows she had back in high school. The light from the fan above the bed made her skin even more radiant and beaming. I was turned on just by looking at her sitting there.
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