Sliding his hands under my polo work shirt, he lifted it over my head, leaving me in my denim shorts and black push up bra. He pushed the bra up over my breasts, exposing my soft mounds. I could feel my arousal building as he massaged the inside of my thighs, ran his hands over the crotch of my shorts, and spread his fingers across the silky flesh of my torso.
“She’s not here,” he breathed. “And she is… just a friend. You’re the only one for me; you’ve always been the only one.”
He bent over and kissed my belly button before blowing a hot burst of air down my shorts, tickling my core. His mouth moved up to my nipples and he grazed his teeth over them until they hardened to his liking.
I moaned as he continued suckling, sliding his hands into my moist panties to tease my mound. I arched my hips towards his hand, and he used two fingers to part my lips, briefly tickling my clit before sticking the two digits inside of me. My breaths starting coming out in soft gasps as he twirled his fingers in my soaking cunt, his palm providing constant pressure to my clit.
My gasps turned into tiny whimpers as the feeling slowly started to overwhelm my senses. My body heated towards climax, but he slid his hand back out of me, rubbing his slick fingers over my mouth.
I smiled as I sucked my flavor off his fingers, enjoying the lust in his eyes, but aching for him to finish me off. He pressed his lips to mine, and we tasted my juices together as he kissed me hard. I moaned into his mouth.
“Do you like that?”
I dreamily stared in his eyes, sucking his fingers clean. “Yeah, but I’d like you in my mouth even more.”
“Hmm. Ditto.”
He yanked my bra over my head and removed my shorts and panties. Before I had a chance to blink, I was flipped over on top of him, my ass pointed up in the air. His face was back between my legs and my face was staring down at his enormous erection.
I cried out when I felt wetness tickling the entrance of my anus. I should have been anywhere but there, but at that moment, that was the only place I wanted to be. Being with him confused me, but it was worth it. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensations as his thumb circled my clit while he continued to lap at my asshole. I backed harder into his face until he stuck his tongue in the tight opening.
“Ahh,” I cooed as he inserted fingers back in my pussy, effectively working both of my openings at once. My thighs shivered under his expert touch, but he released me again just shy of my orgasm. My body couldn’t take much more of his teasing, it needed release.
I found myself begging for him once again.
I whimpered as he gave my clit a hard suck, immediately releasing it again. He bit into the flesh of each of my ass cheeks before putting my dripping cunt back in his mouth.
It had been so long since I’d felt so good; none of the few men I’d been with had come anywhere close to making me feel as good. And my vibrator definitely didn’t come close. My body was desperate, hungry- and the satisfaction of finally having Wes once more brought me to the edge quickly.
His engorged shaft pointed directly in my face and I wrapped my hand around the base, teasing it with a few strokes before taking the whole of it in my mouth. He grunted as I deep-throated his cock, wafts of pleasure vibrating my pussy as he sucked my pounding clit.
My eyes watered as I continued to swallow him whole, but I wanted to make him feel as helpless as he was making me feel. He grew even bigger as I tightened my lips around his shaft and pumped his length with my mouth. I swirled my tongue around his throbbing head, licking up any new beads of precum that formed.
His body shook underneath me as he strained to lift his pelvis to shove more of him in my mouth. I took him in the back of my throat once more, finally choking on his rigid manhood as my body convulsed in climax. I exploded in his mouth, my sweet nectar squirting all over his face.
I pulled my mouth away from his cock to cry out. He slid from underneath me, stopping me in my tracks when I tried to turn to face him.
“That was amazing,” I said, my face buried in his pillow.
He chuckled. “Oh, we’re just getting started, sweetheart.”
His body remained behind me as he lightly smacked my tender pussy lips, refusing to let them calm down. They shuddered under the sting of the taps and I backed into him, grinding in small circles as he roughly massaged my ass.
“Oh!”
He smacked my ass- hard. And again. And again. Until my skin was so sensitive, I was whining in ecstasy from the sizzling pain. I felt the tip of his dick slide between my lips, rubbing my clit as my burning ass flesh cooled. He reached both of his hands to my head and took two large fistfuls of my hair, snapping my head back as he jammed his cock into me.
“Oh, yes! Harder!”
He happily obliged, burying his rod as far as it would go, crisp stings icing my ass as he started slapping me again. My screams were loud enough to make my ears ring as he tore into me from behind, balls deep. My eyes rolled back in my head as I came again, my fresh juices gushing down my thighs as he jack hammered my spent pussy.
He pushed me flat on my stomach, shifting to a slow grind. I writhed in incomprehensible pleasure; my body felt so good it was almost painful.
“Where do you want me?”
I could barely stop moaning long enough to reply, although I didn’t have an exact answer for him.
“Anywhere. Everywhere!”
He turned me on my back and pressed my knees into my chest as he recklessly pounded into me a few more times. A groan rumbled at the base of his throat as he began erupting inside of me. He quickly pulled his cock out and shoved it towards my face, jamming it in my mouth to finish him off.
I swallowed everything he gave me, licking him clean until his throbbing erection calmed.
“Fuck!” He yelled out after he caught his breath, the deafening roar shaking the room.
He rolled over to lie next to my comatose body on the bed, my heart still racing. Sweat drenched my body, and his cum was in me and on me. I glanced down at the white stream running from my mound to my mouth, drifting in and out of consciousness.
I feared the moment when I would have to get up, which was soon, because my limbs were going to be utterly useless for at least the rest of the day.
“I should make you milkshakes more often.”
I glanced over at Wes, who smiled as he watched me gather my wits. I giggled into the mattress under his scrutiny, my mind still dizzied with bliss. His eyes were glazed over as he fought the sleep trying to overcome him. I needed to get up because I was feeling the exact same way. I’d done enough damage; I didn’t want to fall asleep in his bed as well.
“I need to go.”
I almost thought he had fallen asleep when I looked over at his closed eyes, but he replied. “I don’t know if I believe you anymore.”
I laughed, groaning as I sat up. “Really this time. I don’t know how I'm going to get my legs to work, though.”
After cleaning up in the bathroom, he watched me get dressed and followed me downstairs to his front door, still completely naked. I took one more glance at his body for memory, happy the guilt hadn’t sunk in yet.
“Key?” He stood back at the door, his chiseled muscles taunting me over the threshold. He lifted up the badge. “Forgot this.”
I reached for the badge, but he jerked it away.
“Give it to me,” I said with a light chuckle.
He gripped my waist and pulled me in for a slow kiss. And just like that, I forgot about the damn badge again. Luckily, he handed it to me when he released me.
“I love you,” he said.
I coughed, choking on my spit. That was the last thing I’d expected him to say.
“Wes-”
“I’ve never stopped loving you. When you disappeared, I was devastated. Honestly, I’ve never given myself a chance to recover from it. I just immersed myself in work. I know you’re still confused, but I’m never letting you leave me again.”
My body still reeled from his touch, and my emotions
were in a tizzy. My eyes watered, and I wanted to confess it back to him, but I bit my words back. Confessing was not what I needed.
“I searched for you for so long. I just can't believe you dropped back into my life like this. I reached out to Kevin for a year after you left; I just knew he knew where you were; turns out you were with him the entire time. But he wouldn’t tell me anything.”
“I didn’t know that.”
After catching Wes with my mother, I was so devastated I ran away. I allowed it to consume me so much, I dropped out of college so I wouldn’t run into him on campus. Kevin’s parents agreed to let me stay in Kevin’s bedroom since Kevin was living in a dorm. So, I hid away from the world until I moved from Texas to the east coast.
“I knew you had nothing. I was so worried that you were on the streets. Every week, I’d call homeless shelters and hospitals looking for you.”
Even through the tears blurring my vision, I could still see the pain in his eyes, hear his quivering voice.
“I’m so sorry; I had no idea.”
He chuckled. “You had no idea I’d look for you? You were my fiancé. You had nothing- no money, no job, no family, not even a place to stay- and you just ran away. I was terrified.”
“I’m so sorry, Wes.”
“Don’t apologize; just give us another chance. I still want our three kids, I still want to take you to Disney World, I still want us to figure out whether we’re getting a Pomeranian or a Golden Retriever.”
I laughed, wiping my dripping nose. “I still want my cute, fluffy dog.”
“And I’m still saying hell no. But I will still take you to Disney.”
We had so many plans that were never accomplished. An hour before, I was dead set on moving on. But just thinking about all the plans we had made me realize I didn’t want to do them with anyone else. And that was devastating to me.
I wanted to be happy. I wanted to move on. But Wes had a hold on everything about me. I was stuck. Having sex with him only distorted that. And the guilt crept in.
“I have to go.”
I could tell he was hurt, but he let me go.
“What’s going on?” Amira asked me at work the next day as she watched me study the week’s schedule.
“I need the rest of the week off. Making sure we have enough coverage for the kids we have coming in.”
“Everything okay?”
I looked up at her as she stood in the doorway to the office, hand on her hip.
“I need to go see my mother. She’s really sick.”
Her eyes widened. “I’m sorry to hear that. Why are you worrying about the schedule? Just go; I’ll make sure everything is covered.”
I smiled. “You’re the best.”
“When are you leaving?”
“I guess in the morning. Haven’t booked a flight yet.”
“Go as soon as you can. Spend as much time with her as you can. I know you two don’t get along, but you need to get out there. No matter what happens- good or bad- you’ll have the closure you need.”
Amira provided such a different perspective than Kevin. It was nice to know someone was on my side and not defending my mother just because she was dying- I just expected the person on my side to be Kevin. I loved him, but sometimes we really butted heads. It was reassuring to have a voice of reason in Amira.
She handed me my purse. “Get out of here. Call me if you need anything.”
I gave her a quick hug and thanked her before heading out. She was the very first person I hired when I opened the daycare. She stuck by me through fluctuating pay based off how much funding we had, long hours, and countless nights of grant writing.
She was just as passionate about the center as me, and I knew I could trust her in charge. And she was right; I needed to get to Texas as soon as I could. I had no idea what would happen, but since making the decision to go see Ann, my mind was racing.
“Can you drive me to the airport?” I asked Kevin when I got home.
“You going to see Ann?”
I nodded.
“I want to come with. I’m off until Saturday.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Really?”
Kevin wasn’t a big fan of my mother either.
“Yes. You’re going to need emotional support. And I can go visit my family; I haven’t seen them since Christmas.”
“Well, okay. I’ll see if there are any flights available this afternoon.”
I felt nauseated the entire flight. I wasn’t a nervous flyer, so I knew my uneasiness was unrelated to being 30,000 feet in the air. It took everything in me not to flag down a flight attendant for a drink.
“It’s going to be okay,” Kevin said, patting my bouncing leg.
“Thanks.”
“I’m sorry I was insensitive. I just didn’t want you to not see her. Seeing her and having it end badly will haunt you less than never seeing her at all.”
I stared at my knotted fingers and nodded. My Kevin was back.
“I know,” I whispered. “And I’m sorry for snapping at you; I just have a lot going on right now.”
“No worries, babe.”
In so many ways, he was right. I hadn’t seen my mother since the incident with Wes, and we’d only spoken a handful of times- when necessary. No matter how angry I was at her, no matter how much I resented her because of the childhood she gave me, she was my mother. I just had to see her.
“Does she know you’re coming?” Kevin asked me once we got in a cab heading to the house.
I shook my head. “I thought I’d lose my nerve if I spoke to her first.”
I scrunched up my face when the cab pulled in front of the house. The fence was missing its door, the lawn was wrangled, and there were at least two weeks’ worth of newspapers in the yard that hadn’t been collected.
“Wow,” Kevin said. “This may be worse than we thought.”
I kicked the soggy, rolled up newspapers to the side as we walked the path to the front door. I lifted my fist to knock, but paused. Kevin rubbed my back as I took a few slow breaths. The light nausea I felt on the plane was now a loud rumble about to erupt.
I gulped back a hard lump and quickly knocked. After a few minutes of silence, Kevin twisted the knob.
“Open,” he said.
He stepped aside and waited for my move. I pushed the door open, the bile in my throat almost coming out as a hot gust of sour odor smacked us in the face.
“Ann?” I called out, to no answer.
Leaving our suitcases at the door, I forced my way inside, and the interior of the house was even more decayed than the outside. Nearly empty take-out containers sat on the coffee table, drinking cups wedged between the couch cushions. I quickly looked away- the couch was the last thing I wanted to see.
As we passed the kitchen, I called for her again. Almost every cabinet in the kitchen was open- and empty. Most of the dishes were piled in and around the sink. I held my breath as the smell intensified.
I didn’t know how long she was sick, but it had been a long time since she’d taken care of the house- not that she ever did much of that anyway. Cleaning was my job. The carpet felt crunchy as I walked; I could almost hear it.
Even with all the dirt, my childhood was still visible in the house. The old cuckoo clock was still on the wall. It didn’t work. She’d thrown it at me one night and broke it. She came home drunk with some man and wanted me to go to my room to leave them in peace.
When I didn’t move fast enough, she chucked it at me. I replaced it back on the wall the next morning.
I walked past my bedroom, tearing a bit when I saw it was untouched. My plastic Barbie drinking cup was even still there. I often got thirsty in the middle of the night. I used to go into my attached bathroom and drink the nasty tap water instead of risking leaving the room and running into my intoxicated mother in the kitchen.
“Who’s there?” Her voice jolted me out of my reminiscing.
Kevin placed his hand on the small of my back and pushed
me towards her bedroom. He peered at me, opening the bedroom door when I gave him the signal.
She looked so small under the covers. Ann always looked so young and vibrant, despite the way she treated her body. In fact, people always used to get us confused for sisters. It seemed like the years finally started catching up to her, though.
After I refused to move, Kevin stepped ahead and walked to her bedside.
“Hi, Ann,” he said in a quiet voice.
“Hi, Kevin. You still taking care of my little girl?” I winced at her weak voice.
Kevin nodded, and I walked to them. I put my hands in my pockets and shifted all of my weight to one foot.
“Hi,” I said.
She reached out a hand to me. If Kevin hadn’t shoved me, I probably wouldn’t have taken it. Her hand was fragile, and cold. With the initial shock worn off, I looked up at Kevin.
“Can you give us a minute?”
He nodded and left us the room. I pulled up a chair and sat next to her, hand still in hers.
“So, how are you feeling?”
“Like I’m dying,” she said with a light chuckle.
I frowned. Ann was known to be a tad dramatic, but for once, I didn’t think she was overreacting. The frail woman before me was not the woman I ran from a few years before.
I peeked at her nightstand and saw a few prescription bottles. I teared up- it was real. My mother was dying. I scooted my chair closer, my foot kicking something under the bed. I looked down and saw an empty liquor bottle.
There was no way to tell how recent it was with her cleaning habits, but I had no doubt it was relatively new.
“You’ve got to take care of yourself, Mom.”
“Too late now. I’m just glad you came to see me.”
“Yeah.”
My eyes darted away from her, staring at a hole in the carpet as we sat in silence.
“I haven’t always been the best mother.”
I looked back at her, waiting for her to finish what sounded like an incomplete thought. She didn’t say any more. Was that her version of an apology?
I rolled my eyes, but pushed back my irritation, remembering why I came there in the first place. “There’s one thing you can do to help make it up to me.”
Private Affairs Page 7