"Do you own the place?"
He nodded. "Yes, and several others in the area that I rent out. You have all of the usual amenities, plus a private hot tub, a wonderful lake at the bottom of the hill, and a fire pit in the back yard. Snow sports are about a ten-minute walk away, and Main Street about fifteen. Just follow the signs on the network of trails right outside. Or you can call for a private taxi service. It's free, included in your rental."
He left his post on the wall to point out a few more things, telling me a bit about the town along the way. It seemed like I'd picked the perfect spot for a honeymoon.
"I didn't know this place was going to be so huge; maybe I should have picked a smaller cabin."
"Is it just you here? Having a getaway vacation?"
I shook my head, opening a set of curtains to reveal the breathtaking mountain view.
"We booked for our wedding and honeymoon."
He smiled again, his eyes bright. He had a really wonderful smile.
"Well, congratulations. Where's your groom?"
I shrugged and turned back to the window. "Before I unfriended him on Facebook, I saw he surprised his girlfriend with a trip to Miami Beach. I suppose he's still there."
"Uh..."
When I turned back to face him moments later, his mouth was still hanging open. I chuckled at his expression; it was kind of cute.
"He left me three days ago."
His eyes widened. "I'm very sorry to hear that."
"Yes... I am as well."
I let out a silent exhale, my smile fading, the calming environment losing its influence to my jarring thoughts. I forced the thoughts away; I couldn't succumb to the pain of them in the presence of another person- especially a complete stranger.
He cleared his throat. "Well, I just have a few papers for you to sign, and I'll let you get settled."
My perfected fake smile curled my lips as he handed me the keys. I guess that meant the tour was officially over. I hoped I hadn't soured his mood with my personal issues.
I needed to get myself together; I hated making people- strangers, especially- feel uncomfortable.
I needed a better, more tactful way to speak about what happened, but for now, I was at a loss. No matter how I explained it, it sounded terrible.
"All important numbers are on the fridge, including mine. Call me if you need anything at all- especially since you're here... alone. I'm staying at a cabin nearby for the week, so don't hesitate to reach out."
"Thank you very much. I appreciate that."
He gave me a weak smile. It didn't compare to his previous ones; it was a pity smile. One of the reasons I'd been avoiding people for the last three days, one of the reasons I decided to sneak away to the cabin, was to face as little pity as possible. I didn't want it, and I didn't respond well to it.
"Do you have any questions for me?" I shook my head, and he left without another word. And for the first time since arriving, the quiet country hit me.
None of my electronics were in the cabin, no neighbors heard through the windows, no errands to run. There was nothing to distract me from my thoughts- and I needed all the distraction I could get. Maybe coming wasn't the best idea.
I'd sent a mass email to all of the expected wedding guests, telling them it was off. I felt terrible. So many family and friends paid a lot of money, used vacation time, and bought gifts for Reggie and me.
I prayed the flights, hotels, and presents were refundable. I'd considered repaying them for the inconvenience, but I didn't think I could afford it.
A few people called me since I sent the email, but I didn't answer my phone. I hoped everyone got the message and didn't fly all the way out to Colorado for nothing. I was sure everyone called my mother to confirm, though.
But since Reggie walked out on me, I'd been alone. I was in no condition to be out in public. Even when I ordered delivery the evening before, I paid the bill and tip over the phone, insisting they leave the food at my door.
My eyes were bloodshot, my shoulders couldn't un-slump, and I wouldn't have been able to fake a smile even if someone had a gun to my head- I wasn't presentable in any way.
After an early morning pep talk, I felt comfortable making the trip to Colorado. The flight was only a few hours; I could keep my emotions together for that short period.
Derek was my first real interaction since the breakup. I didn't even speak to the flight attendants on the plane. Despite holing myself away since Reggie walked out, being by myself in the cabin was the first time I actually felt alone since it all happened.
Maybe it was the big open space, maybe the initial shock and disbelief had worn off, or maybe it was because all of the memories I was supposed to create there that would never be fulfilled. Either way, it all hit me.
I smoothed out my gray sweater and went to unpack, trying not to think. I carried my suitcase upstairs to the master bedroom and placed it on the queen-sized bed. Although all my clothes were folded neatly in the luggage, I refolded each piece before placing them in the drawers.
Grabbing the blankets and sheets off the bed, I walked the house searching for all other linens. I had no intention of using any of them, but I washed them anyway. I was sure they were cleaned every time a new renter entered, but I trusted no one's cleaning but my own.
Sunset was fast approaching, and it was the perfect evening. The bed was re-made, the linens were pressed, folded, and rearranged back in the closet, and a fresh log was in the fireplace. All was where it was supposed to be- well, except Reggie.
Shaking the thought away, I scanned the room, hands on my hips. I didn't come on this trip to think about Reggie. Distractions- where was my next distraction?
I considered grabbing my company laptop from its case to catch up on work, but decided against it; there was no point.
The cabin had a large flat screen TV with cable, but TV wasn't going to do anything for me. I walked up to the curtains I'd opened when I first arrived, gazing out the window. I smiled.
I could watch the sunset through the trees. It would be perfect. I wanted a few more hours of diversions, but I was close enough to my original schedule for the day.
After tightening my sleek bun into a fresh, even sleeker bun, I changed into my gold and black bikini and turned on the hot tub outside. My body tugged at the fabric, which was a size too small for me. I avoided looking down, thankful no one was going to see me in it.
While the hot tub warmed, I went into the kitchen and removed the champagne from the mostly melted ice, popping it open.
"Congratulations," I said as the cork shot across the room. After finding the cork and throwing it away, I poured myself a tall glass, toasting to my loneliness and blinking away the moisture in my eyes.
No tears. Today is not for Reggie.
At first, I wasn't going to make the trip. The honeymoon in Colorado was supposed to be the beginning of a new chapter. I was finally going to have everything I ever wanted: a partner to grow and to start a family with. I already had a great career. It wasn't the career I wanted, but it paid me well. All I needed was to get my personal life in order. But instead of beginning a new chapter, Telluride was the end- it seemed fitting to get my closure there.
I carried the glass and the strawberries out to the tub and got in. A small smile crept on my face as the sun set over the mountains in the distance, vibrant oranges and pinks a stark contrast to the white ground and sky.
The light chill cooled my exposed skin, which had already begun sweating from the hot water and half-empty bottle of champagne. I rarely drank more than a glass of anything, but I was on my third and preparing for a fourth. I didn't like drinking to the point of losing my inhibitions. But if I was going to get drunk, there was no better time.
A sense of tranquility washed over me. I'd spent the last three days crying, confused, and physically sick to my stomach. As I allowed myself to get washed away in the beauty of the setting sun, I felt at peace.
Everything I planned for my
future was out the window. It was time for me to admit that no matter what I did, no matter how much charge I took, my life was never going to be anything other than tragedy.
Reggie had given me false hope: hope that karma would finally balance itself out and send good my way, hope that the worst was over, hope that I could be happy.
When he walked out, I felt lost. He was my rock, the one bright light in my darkness. I didn't know how I was going to move on. But it didn't take me long to figure out my next move.
I finished the fruit and jumped out the tub, running back into the house. After walking into the kitchen to finish my drink, I took one last, long look at the beautiful cabin.
I didn't notice how unsteady my balance was until I removed my hand from the counter. I inspected the empty champagne glass. My first instinct was to take it to the sink and wash it, then put away the remaining champagne and fruit. But then I laughed. Why? What was the point?
It was only ten, much earlier than my original midnight plan, but nothing else was going right, so why should this?
I walked out the back door, passing the still gurgling hot tub and headed down the hill towards the lake Derek mentioned. Any buzz that may have been developing was gone as the ice-cold night air hit my almost-bare and still wet skin. The lake wasn't part of my plan, either, but it was a welcome addition.
The dense trees slowly thinned as I approached, finally disappearing to reveal a large reservoir. The secluded lake was frozen, the lights from the few cabins perched around it illuminating the surface of the ice.
In the clearing, the half-moon shined bright directly over the center, as if its only job was to add a calming glisten. I didn't know the cabin was so close to a lake when we rented it, but it was perfect.
There was a gap in the ice close to the middle of the lake; I smiled. As expected, the ice wasn't super thick yet. The weather just began turning a couple of weeks ago, and this week was just bordering on the freezing temperature marks.
The next few days were expected to be even colder, so the surface would probably be solid ice by the end of the week. Fortunately for me, there was no time like the present.
I took a step on the lake. I didn't think it was possible to get colder, but the ice on the bottom of my feet electrified my skin. My body waved in a violent shiver.
It took me three days, but I finally realized the truth: Telluride wasn't the beginning of a new chapter, it was the end of the entire book.
Some people have longer stories than others, some have more luck. My life, my story, was nothing but a series of bad decisions, unlucky coincidences, and unending heartbreaks. And I couldn't take it any longer.
Sure, I felt like a failure for taking my own life. And a part of me didn't want to do it, so Reggie wouldn't get the last laugh. But vindictiveness was a waste of energy.
Despite all of the emotions swirling around since he left me- rage, depression, helplessness- my desire for peace was the most overwhelming.
I'd fought my entire life. I tried to maintain a positive outlook for so long. And it got me nowhere. When I dropped into that hole in the ice, I would finally be at peace.
Carefully, I took another step. And then another. I laughed; why was I being careful? So I wouldn't fall in?
I hadn't laughed in days. The fact that I was finding so much joy in my new malaise was fitting.
The ice crackled beneath me as I inched to the center. My heart raced- any of my next moves could be it. I slowly inhaled a stinging cloud of air.
The serenity of the mountains, the clear air, and the beautiful cabin were so serene. Instead of focusing on my nervousness, I focused on the dreamy scenery that was keeping me company in my final moments. I took another step.
"What are you doing?"
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Jasmine Garner is a freelancer, editor, and author of scorching erotica and interracial erotic romance. She writes for multiple online blogs covering a wide variety of subjects. Several of her books have been number one bestsellers in her categories, and her loyal fan base is growing by the day.
She can be found on social media: @JGarnerBooks. The easiest way to contact her is via email: [email protected].
For up to date news, or to join her monthly newsletter (which has freebies and exclusive content), visit her website at www.love-seven.com.
Copyright © 2015 by Love Seven Publishing
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, you must obtain written permission from Love Seven Publishing.
Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.
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Private Affairs/ Love Seven Publishing -- 1st ed.
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