Maybe Never

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Maybe Never Page 12

by Sadie Allen


  So, with nothing else to do, I pulled a stool over to where she was and watched her work her magic. I watched her sprinkle the sauce with herbs from little bottles, and then she covered the pan to let it “simmer,” which I had no clue what that meant.

  While she was breaking the spaghetti, I asked, “Have you heard anything new about your dad?”

  Her whole body stiffened, and her face closed down as she shook her head. “No, as far as I know, they still have him in the county jail for his attack on me and the burglaries. They haven’t set a date for his trial, but Sheriff Lang said, as soon as he knew something, he would call.”

  I could tell she was done talking about her dad, so I changed the subject. “You said you were going to culinary school, right?”

  Her body visibly relaxed, and her eyes lit up when she answered, “Yeah, I start next fall.”

  “Where?” I asked, hoping that maybe she would be somewhere close.

  “Le Cordon Bleu.”

  “Where’s that?” I asked. I had never heard of it. Doubt I could even say it.

  “Dallas.”

  “Hey, that’s where I’ll be, too!” I exclaimed with a little too much excitement.

  “Le Cordon Bleu?” She looked confused, and I had to laugh.

  “No, I’ll be in Dallas. I got a scholarship to the University of North Texas.”

  “That’s great!” she exclaimed.

  Sunny was always pretty. I mean, she could never be ordinary with her high cheekbones, dark eyes, and full mouth; but when she smiled … she was beautiful. Her whole face glowed, and that light inside of her attracted me.

  “So, when are you leaving to move up there? I assume you’re going to move since the commute would be impossible.”

  She lifted the lid of the saucepan and gave the contents a stir. The scent of Italian spices flavored the air and made my mouth water.

  “Yeah, I plan on selling the trailer and moving up there after graduation. I need to find a job and an apartment, so I thought the sooner I had all that figured out before classes start, the better.”

  I don’t know why I felt so surprised that she was going to sell that trailer, but what else could she do with it? It wouldn’t be feasible to move the thing since I thought it was anchored to the ground. Aren’t all mobile homes in the south these days?

  “You look surprised; why?”

  I wasn’t sure that I was comfortable with how well she could read me by looking at my face.

  “Well … I don’t want to say it because I don’t want to dredge up a bad memory or anything …” I said hesitantly as I fidgeted on the stool.

  Sunny simply looked back at me and said, “You’re surprised about me selling my grana’s trailer?”

  “Yes and no.” She again looked confused, so I explained, “I mean, I guess I was surprised because you were so devastated by all the damage your dad did. I didn’t think you’d sell it, but I get it. What else would you be able to do with that trailer? It’s not like you can take it with you.”

  She sighed and turned back to the spaghetti, pulling a few noodles out of the water with this spoon with claws and examining them. I guessed they weren’t done because she let them drop back down into the water with a plop.

  “After Grana was diagnosed with COPD, she told me that, if she were to die, I should sell the trailer. She gave me her blessing. It just didn’t seem like a real thing then … I knew that she would die one day. She wasn’t a young woman, and she was sick, but in my mind, it felt like that day would be far away. Even after she died, it didn’t feel real. I guess I was pretending. I’d come home, and it was like she was still at work or something. Her death just didn’t feel real until my father ripped all of her things apart.”

  The emotion in her voice and the way her body kind of drooped killed me.

  I slid off the stool and closed the few steps between us before pulling her into my arms. I breathed in the fruit smell of her hair and ran my hand over the soft strands. After a moment, I felt her hands tentatively lift and grip my waist, and then her body relaxed into mine. Nothing compared to the feeling of Sunny in my arms, and I decided then and there that we were definitely friends who hugged.

  “Why are you hugging me, pretty boy?” Sunny asked, her voice muffled by my shirt.

  “You just looked like you could use one.”

  It was that simple. I couldn’t not hug her when she looked so sad or so alone.

  We stayed that way for a couple of minutes more before she pulled back and out of my arms.

  “I need to check the noodles again.”

  She did a repeat of the process from a little bit ago, but this time they must have been ready because she turned the burner off. Sunny then grabbed a bowl with a bunch of holes and set it in the sink.

  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  I doubted there was, but I felt like I should ask, anyway, to be polite and all.

  “You could get us some bowls to eat out of while I drain the spaghetti.”

  That was what I did. I placed the bowls on the countertop, along with forks and some glasses of water.

  Sunny came over with the pot of now waterless noodles and dished them into the bowls. Then she came back with the saucepan and spooned some tomato sauce over the noodles.

  “This isn’t anything fancy—just a quick sauce—but I think it’s good.”

  “Smells good.” I sniffed exaggeratedly, which made her giggle. I again felt like I was on top of the world.

  Then we tucked into our food and ate.

  Sunny wasn’t wrong in thinking that her sauce was good. It was really good and had tons of flavor.

  After a couple of bites, she asked, “So, when do you have to go up for training camp or whatever they call it?”

  “I have to move there this summer and start prepping for pre-season practices. I may have to take a couple of classes. I guess I better call my advisor.”

  I wanted to ask her about something that struck me on the first day that we ever really talked.

  “So, why food? I mean, don’t get me wrong … You got skills, but why not law? You seem to have a thing for righting wrongs.”

  I had asked her mid-chew, so she held up a finger until she finished her bite, and then answered with, “Food is everything. It’s a language that everyone speaks.” I must have had a weird look on my face because she shook her head and said, “I’m not explaining it right. Growing up with my grana working here, and then me working here … being around Sally … I’ve learned a lot about cooking and food.

  “Food really is like a language in itself. It’s powerful. It’s shared from generation to generation through recipes—you share it with your family. You speak it when you’re feeling strong emotions, or when you want to celebrate. Food is a common language we all have in common, spanning different cultures. It brings people together. I swear, we could achieve world peace if everyone would just sit down to a meal.” She said that last part on a laugh.

  All I could do was stare, mesmerized. She was so passionate. I knew I was getting myself into trouble with this girl. Sunny Blackfox was dangerous. I liked her. But now I realized I liked her as in more than a friend liked her. I could fall in love with her.

  When I didn’t say anything, she asked, “Did I bore you to sleep with my love of food?”

  I looked her straight in the eye when I answered, “Never. I think picking something you obviously love so much for a career is … It’s really cool.” I finished lamely, my throat tightening with an unknown emotion. It felt a lot like … envy?

  I envied Sunny for knowing what she wanted to do with her life.

  I cleared my throat and tried again. “I guess I’m just in awe. I really don’t know what I want to do. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to keep playing football.”

  I felt Sunny’s small hand on the back of the one I had resting on the counter.

  “The only reason I’m still playing is because it’s my ticket out of town. UNT is paying most of
the way, and I can’t afford college without a scholarship.”

  She gave my hand a squeeze, and I looked up into those dark brown eyes, knowing it was pointless. I had been fighting my attraction to her for a while now, and as we spent more time together, I realized I wanted more with her. I wanted everything. Now that we were both moving to the same city to go to school, it was inevitable. I needed a plan, though. Sunny was special, and my girl deserved hearts and flowers. I had never done hearts and flowers, but I was going to learn.

  I was so deep in my head that I didn’t hear Sunny say my name until she shook the hand she was holding.

  “Judd? You okay?” she asked with a worried look on her face.

  “Yeah, yeah.” I sounded distracted, but I gave her a smile that hopefully put her at ease.

  As we finish our meal and cleaned up the kitchen, my mind worked out ways to let Sunny know how things were going to change between us.

  It was when we were locking up and I was walking her to her truck that I remembered the posters that had been plastered all over the halls for the past couple of weeks. Prom.

  Prom? Did I even dare try to attend prom this year?

  Yes. Yes, I was going to attend prom this year, and Sunny was going to be my date.

  Sunny was about to get in her truck when I asked, “Hey, Sunny, have you ever been to a prom?”

  She gave me a funny look. “No, I’ve always had to work the night of prom, and like I said, I haven’t really had time for a dating life.”

  Perfect.

  “Why?”

  “I was just wondering. Saw the posters in the hall,” I answered, trying to sound nonchalant.

  “Oh.”

  She didn’t know it, but I was going to take Sunny to her first prom. Now all I needed to do was have a little chat with Sally.

  We said our good-byes, and then I shut the door to her truck for her and sent her off with a flick of my fingers. Then I was on my way to my own vehicle with renewed energy, a new purpose, and I whistled a merry tune all the way there.

  Sunny

  AS I PULLED UP THE LANE toward home, I saw a faint glow in my front yard, and as I rounded the turn to pull up in front of my trailer, I saw what looked like dozens of candles with a figure standing behind them.

  I slammed the truck into park and got out instead of pulling into my usual parking spot, my heart racing as I took in the sight. The candles weren’t just randomly placed like I had thought they were at first. The small tea light candles formed a question written in capital letters that spelled, “PROM?”

  I looked up at the person standing behind them, and my breath caught. Judd Jackson stood there, looking like some kind of Greek god, the candlelight making his sun-kissed skin glow in the surrounding darkness. He looked otherworldly handsome, and I just about melted at the sight of him. It was hard for me to keep up the pretense that all I felt for him was friendship with the way he affected my mind and body.

  My eyes were huge and unblinking when I asked, “What’s all this?”

  He gave a small chuckle. “What does it look like?”

  Judd then extended his hand, and I looked down at something I hadn’t noticed before since I had been too taken up with the candles and Judd’s face. It was a bouquet of sunflowers tied together with what looked like twine.

  I took them and held them to my chest. How did he know that sunflowers were my favorite?

  “Sally.”

  “How did—”

  “I could see the question on your face.” He smiled, and I felt my heart leap. “I asked her what your favorite flowers were when I asked her if you could have that weekend off for prom at work yesterday.”

  My jawed dropped. “Say what?”

  I just stood there and stared, not believing what I was hearing. Was he asking me to prom?

  “Sunny Blackfox, will you go to prom with me?”

  He was asking me to prom.

  My mouth was opening and closing like a fish as I sputtered, “I … Me …? Um … You—what?” I stood there, frozen like an idiot, sure that I had heard him wrong.

  Prom wasn’t even on my radar. Sure, I saw all the posters and banners advertising for it at school, but I hadn’t thought about going to prom since I had been a sophomore. I had wondered if Judd planned on going, but given the events of this past winter, I didn’t think it was on his radar, either.

  He took a step closer, and then another until he was right up in my personal space, until I could smell his woodsy-citrusy scent. My heart was beating so loud I just knew he could hear it, and when his fingers touched the underside of my chin, I felt it thrumming in my ears and in my neck.

  When Judd leaned down and touched his forehead to mine, I sucked in a breath. He was so close. Those blues that reminded me of the ocean were all I could see.

  “Will you go to prom with me?” he whispered, his lips so close I could feel his breath on mine.

  I ached to close the distance between our mouths and press my lips to his, but he had to make the first move. I didn’t think I could handle the rejection if it turned out I was reading this whole situation wrong.

  I couldn’t speak, so I nodded.

  His eyes were intense as he stared into mine, the heat there making me think he was going to lean in and kiss me, but as soon as the thought came, he pulled back, and the moment was lost.

  I let out a rough exhale as he took a step back and jammed one hand into his pocket and the other went to the back of his head as he dug his fingers into his hair.

  “Good.”

  It was awkward, and I wasn’t exactly sure why. I could feel this strange tension pinging back and forth between us. I was sweating, and not just because it was almost summer in Texas. My nerves were all over the place, and there was some tingling going on. I was confused, but also hopeful that maybe Judd might see me as more than a friend.

  “Um, I guess we better clean these candles up before something catches fire. It’s probably not safe to have an open flame out here. You never know what the meth heads are up to,” I said as I tried to distract myself from where my thoughts were leading me.

  His eyes bugged out comically, and like a man possessed, he was down on his knees, blowing out candles.

  I couldn’t help it, I threw my head back and laughed at the picture he made. When I finally got ahold of myself, I looked back down to see him glaring up at me.

  “Are you going to help me out or what?” Then quieter, he mumbled, “This is not how I pictured tonight going.”

  I didn’t know if he was talking to me or himself, so I didn’t reply. Again, I found myself sniggering as I lowered myself to the dirt and started putting out the tiny flames by scooping up sand and pouring it over them.

  Judd paused mid-blow, lips puckered and all, as he watched me. Then he closed his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest, the picture of defeat. “Why didn’t I think of doing that? I’m going to get light-headed doing it this way.”

  I shrugged as I watched him start scooping dirt, and then I got back to doing the same, except I was doing it with a grin on my face.

  Sunny

  I RAPPED MY KNUCKLES against the door of Molly’s trailer the next morning, hoping to catch her before she went to bed. Molly usually didn’t get home until after three a.m.

  It took a minute, but Molly finally opened the door, yawning and scratching her wild blonde hair that was sticking up every which way.

  “Did I wake you?” I asked, pretty sure I failed at not catching her before she crawled into bed.

  “Nah, I look like this all the time.” She waved a hand, showcasing her Muppet pajamas, a bright yellow shirt with a picture of Fozzie Bear’s head at the top that said “Keep Calm and Love Muppets” in bold black script down the front. And a pair of pants that were long and black with a picture of Animal’s bright pink head, his mouth gaping wide, and the words “The Muppets” spelled down one leg, the M green and mimicking Kermit, and the rest of the letters bright pink to match Animal.

&n
bsp; “Nice jammies.”

  “Yeah, yeah … Come on inside. I know you want something.”

  I stepped inside her dark trailer, and she closed the door behind me. It looked the same as it always did. It was a little newer than Grana’s trailer since it actually had wallpaper and laminate wood floor. The furniture was a lot better quality than anything we ever had since it actual matched and was made in this decade. The trailer might be ugly as heck on the outside, but Molly could find a deal anywhere, so the inside was a lot better.

  “Can’t a friend stop by for a visit?”

  “You know better than to come this early.”

  “Your dad home?”

  Something flashed in her eyes before her face closed down. Then she gave me a totally fake smile. “No, he’s with one of the women in his harem.”

  Molly’s dad, Richard, owned the only bar in the county, Oasis, which was my father’s favorite place in the world. I assumed he lived in the parking lot of the place.

  Richard McEntire … Well, he wasn’t around much. After Molly’s mom and sister died in a car crash when Molly was twelve, Richard quit his high paying business job and bought a bar. He also sold their family home and moved out here to Country Acres. I never asked Molly why he bought a beat-up trailer after living in a large home in the suburbs, but my guess was that he didn’t want any semblance of the life he had previously shared with his wife and daughters, even the living daughter. He might have been there physically for a time, but he was gone mentally and emotionally all the time.

  When Molly got to high school age, he was gone altogether for the most part, spending his nights and mornings with his “harem,” as Molly called them. Her dad was good-looking for an older guy, so he didn’t have a problem obtaining this “harem,” but he did have problems managing it, which could be why Molly had that look on her face earlier when I mentioned Richard.

  “I have a problem.”

 

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