‘But we wouldn’t all be able to go out together again, would we?’ An anxious frown creased Siobhan’s smooth forehead. ‘Not as a family?’
‘No, Siobhan, we wouldn’t.’ Kate took a deep breath in a supreme effort to control her emotions. ‘If Tom and Francesca’s mother get back together there is no way that I could see him again.’
‘Oh, Mum!’ wailed Siobhan, as the full implication of what was happening finally seemed to sink in. ‘It isn’t fair—just when things were good again.’
‘I know,’ said Kate, pushing her hair back from her face and looping it behind one ear. ‘I know, but if that’s what’s going to happen, that’s the way it will have to be.’
‘But I think it’s really mean of Francesca’s mum,’ said Siobhan. ‘After all, she had that Max chap. Why couldn’t they just stay together?’
‘Things aren’t always that simple,’ said Kate. Suddenly she felt incredibly weary but she knew she had to talk to Siobhan for as long as her daughter needed to. ‘Max’s wife won’t give him a divorce,’ she explained at last, deciding there and then that Siobhan should be told the truth behind what was happening. ‘That means he isn’t free to marry Francesca’s mother, and it’s that that has been causing all the rows.’
‘I still don’t think it’s fair.’ Siobhan pouted. ‘And what about Joe?’ she demanded suddenly.
‘What about Joe?’
‘Well, you say I might still be able to see Francesca, but if I do it will probably be if we go riding.’
‘Yes?’
‘Joe doesn’t go riding very much. I probably won’t get to see him at all—ever!’ she added dramatically.
‘Siobhan, you don’t know any of this for certain,’ said Kate. ‘Let’s wait until tomorrow and see what we can find out then. Try and get to sleep now.’
Siobhan went back to her own room and possibly she slept, but for Kate the hours of uncertainty stretched endlessly ahead of her as, unable to take the advice she had given to her daughter, she agonised over what was happening. Her worst fears had finally materialised in that one brief statement uttered by her daughter—that Francesca had said that her mum and dad were getting back together again.
But was there any chance that Francesca could have got it wrong? It seemed unlikely if she had actually overheard her parents discussing it, so did that mean that even now Jennifer was back with Tom at Kingfishers? Was she sharing his bed, the very bed where she, Kate, had shared such wonderful lovemaking with Tom? And was it possible that Tom had been waiting for this moment all along, that to him she, Kate, had only been second best, good enough to spend time with but only until his wife returned to him?
And if that was the case, what of her? How would he end his relationship with her? In a phone call, brief and terse, or a letter, brutal and to the point? Or would it be face to face? Kate shuddered, not knowing how she would cope with such a moment, and when at last, after sleeping for a couple of hours, she awoke, it was to relive the misery all over again.
Thankfully she was on a late shift that day so when the phone rang she was still in her dressing-gown.
‘Kate, it’s me, Tom,’ he said, and she clutched the receiver more tightly, convinced he was about to utter the words she had been dreading.
‘Tom…?’ She swallowed.
‘You’re on a late, aren’t you?’ he said.
‘Yes.’
‘I’ve decided to go in this morning,’ he said. ‘I can’t waste any more precious leave, but I wanted to speak to you first.’
Here it comes, she thought, bracing herself for the words that would destroy her world.
‘I wanted to tell you I love you,’ he said, and as Kate’s heart turned over she almost dropped the receiver.
‘Oh, Tom,’ she whispered. ‘I thought…’
‘And I wanted to say that I’ve booked us into our special place in the Cotswolds next weekend. I really wanted it to be a surprise but I know you need to make plans. Anyway, I must go now. See you later, darling, and don’t forget—I love you.’
He hung up, leaving Kate staring at the phone, her senses reeling. He still loved her after all. Francesca must have been mistaken. There was no way that Tom and Jennifer could be getting back together again, not when he was planning to take her to their favourite hotel in the Cotswolds.
Slowly she walked out of the sitting room and into Siobhan’s bedroom, where she found her daughter packing her homework books into her school bag. It struck Kate that Siobhan still looked upset.
‘Siobhan,’ she said, going right into the room and shutting the door behind her, ‘I think you may have either misunderstood what Francesca told you last night or maybe Francesca herself has somehow got things wrong. I’ve just spoken to Tom and he made no mention about him and Francesca’s mother getting back together again.’
‘Well, they are,’ said Siobhan flatly. ‘I know that for a fact because I rang Francesca early this morning and asked her. She said that she had asked her mother again and her mother said they were definitely getting back together again. Goodness knows why Tom hasn’t told you.’ She paused and looked at Kate. ‘Unless he thinks he’ll carry on seeing you as well.’
‘Siobhan, that’s a dreadful thing to say.’ Kate stared at her daughter.
‘Well, people do things like that, don’t they?’ said Siobhan with a shrug. ‘Chloe said her dad has a girlfriend and her mum doesn’t know anything about it. Anyway, I’ve got to go now or I’ll miss the bus.’ She dashed out of the room then came swiftly back again and gave Kate a kiss on the cheek. ‘Don’t worry, Mum,’ she said. ‘We managed without the Fieldings before. We’ll manage without them again.’
After Siobhan had gone Kate sank down onto her daughter’s bed with a sense of disbelief. Was that really what Tom was planning: to get back with Jennifer but to carry on seeing her as well? Surely he wouldn’t do such a thing? On the other hand, if he and Jennifer were getting back together, and it now seemed certain that this was what was going to happen, why hadn’t he told her just now when he had phoned? And why had he booked a weekend at their special hotel? The more she thought about it the more likely it seemed that what Siobhan had suggested was exactly what Tom had in mind.
Somehow Kate got through the rest of the morning but by the time she drove herself to work her indignation had reached boiling point. How dared Tom Fielding think he could use her like that? Just who did he think he was? He might well be the kingpin when it came to obstetrics and maternity but that didn’t give him the right to ride roughshod over people’s feelings and emotions. Why, he’d even had the gall to tell her he still loved her!
As she stalked onto the unit, spoiling for a fight, she was aware of Natalie’s startled glance but she chose to ignore it, not wanting to be forced to give her friend any explanations until after she’d confronted Tom, knowing that if she did so her pent-up emotions might just get the better of her and her anger give way to despair.
It was just after she had assisted at a birth, supervising Melissa, and was on her way back to the nurses’ station that she heard his voice. Her heart leapt as it always did, then, just as she was reminding herself not to be ridiculous, that this was the man who was two-timing her and that in future her heart would have to be more disciplined, he appeared from the postnatal ward. Dr Omar Nahum accompanied him and both men were deep in conversation, apparently discussing a case history. When he caught sight of Kate, Tom stopped, his gaze immediately seeking hers.
‘Sister Ryan,’ he said, and that same glint of amusement was there in his eyes, as it always was whenever they chanced to meet in the department, for all the world as if nothing had happened.
Kate felt the colour flood her face. How dared he act in this way when she had suffered such anguish? Did he not have any idea how she was feeling? Was he so wrapped up in his own affairs and the fact that his problems had resolved themselves that he remained oblivious to the hurt he caused others?
‘Was there something you wanted, Mr Fieldin
g?’ she asked coldly, and was slightly gratified to see his look of surprise at her tone.
‘Kate…?’ he said, and frowned as if unable to understand her mood.
But what did he expect, for heaven’s sake? she asked herself angrily. Surely he hadn’t expected everything to carry on in exactly the same way?
‘I was wondering,’ he said, and he spoke softly now so that only she would hear. Even Omar, who was standing only a few feet away, wouldn’t have any idea that it wasn’t obstetric matters he spoke about. ‘What did you think about my idea for the Cotswolds?’
She stared at him. ‘I don’t think, Mr Fielding,’ she replied at last through gritted teeth, ‘that you would want to know what I think.’
‘Mr Fielding.’ Omar stepped forward. ‘We are due in a meeting.’
‘Yes, Omar, I know,’ Tom replied tersely. He turned back to Kate. ‘What is it?’ he asked in apparent bewilderment. ‘Kate, what’s wrong?’
‘You know as well as I do,’ she muttered back, ‘and if you think we can just carry on the way we have been then you are very much mistaken.’
‘Kate, I don’t know what you mean,’ he protested.
‘Yes, you do,’ she retorted, tears dangerously close now. ‘You know only too well, just as you must now know that our relationship has to be over.’
‘Kate!’ He looked astounded. ‘But why? I don’t understand!’
‘Tom, I can’t believe you could think things could still be the same…’ she choked.
‘Mr Fielding…?’ Dr Nahum was plainly becoming agitated.
‘All right, Omar, I’m coming!’ Tom began to back away from her. ‘I have to go now, Kate,’ he said, ‘but I’ll see you later. We’ll talk then.’
Turning on her heel, Kate marched to her office where she closed the door firmly behind her. Only then did she allow herself to crumple as she sank down into the chair behind her desk and covered her face with her hands.
It looked as if she’d been right. He really had intended carrying on with their relationship, even though he and Jennifer were getting back together. So, if that was the case, when had he been planning to tell her that he and Jennifer were attempting to rebuild their marriage? When they were out with the children, over an intimate meal for two, or maybe at their favourite hotel when they were making love? Her heart twisted at the very thought. Could Tom really be that cruel?
She stared at the papers on her desk. Somehow she had to pull herself together and get on with her work. She felt terrible and would have liked nothing better than to go home, go to bed and pull the covers up over her head, but she couldn’t do that. She had patients waiting, patients who were depending on her.
She took a deep breath and was about to get to her feet again when there came the sound of a light knock and Natalie put her head around the door.
‘Kate?’ she said. ‘What is it? What’s wrong?’
Kate took one look at her friend’s sympathetic face and her resolve crumbled. She felt the tears well up in her eyes.
Without a word Natalie closed the door behind her and, coming right into the room, poured two mugs of coffee, handing one to Kate then sitting down in the chair opposite. ‘Right,’ she said, ‘come on, what’s this all about? And you needn’t say nothing, because I know there’s something. You haven’t been yourself for the last couple of days, and this afternoon you look like death warmed up.’
‘Thanks, Nat,’ said Kate ruefully with a sniff. Leaning forward, she took a tissue from the box that Natalie pushed across the desk towards her. ‘I really should be getting on…’
‘You’re not leaving this room until you tell me what is wrong,’ said Natalie firmly. ‘Any baby waiting to be born will just have to wait a bit longer.’
‘It’s Tom,’ said Kate, after blowing her nose.
‘Now tell me something I didn’t know,’ said Natalie dryly.
‘You knew?’ Kate looked at her in surprise.
‘Well, let’s just say I had a pretty good idea. You’ve been like a dog with two tails ever since you two got together then suddenly all is gloom and doom. So come on, tell me, what’s he done?’
‘It’s not exactly anything he’s done,’ Kate began uncertainly. ‘It’s his ex-wife…’
‘What’s she got to do with anything?’ Natalie frowned. ‘Surely she’s history.’
‘That’s what I thought,’ replied Kate, ‘but now it appears she wants to have another go at making their marriage work.’
‘And Tom’s going along with this?’ Natalie sounded incredulous.
‘Apparently so.’ Kate shrugged. ‘Oh, Nat, I’ve had this fear all along. I was always afraid that he still loved Jennifer and that if ever she wanted to go back to him he would jump at the chance.’
‘But what about her bloke—the one she left Tom for in the first place?’
‘Gone back to his wife apparently,’ said Kate miserably.
‘Oh, hell…’ said Natalie. ‘Oh, Kate, I’m sorry, I really am. I really thought that you and Tom…’
‘I know,’ said Kate. ‘So did I.’
‘Has he just told you it’s all over? Was that what all that was about just now?’
‘No.’ Kate shook her head. ‘I told him it’s over. But would you believe he still seems to think we can carry on in the same way.’
‘No!’ Natalie stared at her.
‘Yes, he was talking about us going away for a couple of days, just as if nothing had happened, as if it shouldn’t make any difference to us just because he’s back with his wife. I tell you, Natalie, I could have found myself in a situation like that one with Sara Millington and Philip Browne, where he was flitting between her and his wife.’
‘Honestly! Men!’ Natalie rolled her eyes. ‘Well, I hope you told him,’ she added vehemently. ‘Some of them seem to think they can get away with murder.’
‘Oh, I told him all right,’ said Kate bitterly. ‘There’s no way I could go on seeing him under those circumstances.’
‘Absolutely,’ Natalie replied. Draining her mug, she stood up. ‘I must get on,’ she said, ‘but listen, Kate, you take your time—don’t go back out there until you’re good and ready. And try not to let this get you down too much. There are plenty more fish in the sea.’
‘Just give me a minute, that’s all.’ As the door shut behind Natalie Kate finished her coffee. Standing up, she smoothed down her uniform and, after a quick but far from reassuring glance in the mirror, she took a deep breath, squared her shoulders and prepared to set foot on the unit once more. There was no way that either her staff or her patients would know that, although she appeared her usual calm and controlled self on the outside, inside her heart was breaking as she grappled to come to terms with the fact that the relationship she and Tom had shared and which had come to mean so much to her had obviously meant nothing to him.
Somehow she managed to avoid Tom for the rest of her shift—usually that would have been impossible but on that particular day he came out of his meeting and had to go straight into Theatre to perform emergency surgery on a young woman suffering an ectopic pregnancy. She saw him in passing, of course, but she managed to avoid eye contact with him, at the same time knowing he was desperately trying to attract her attention. What he thought he was going to achieve she had no idea. Maybe he wanted to apologise, she thought grimly, but if that was the case she knew she was in no mood to hear such an apology, let alone accept one.
Already it was beginning to dawn on Kate how difficult it was going to be to carry on working with Tom in the future, the future that would mean him living with Jennifer again and settling down once more as a family man. And as she drove away from the hospital after her shift, down the tree-lined avenue, in desperation she found herself wondering whether she should start looking for another job. It was the last thing she wanted to do. She loved her work at Ellie’s and she knew that to secure another similar post in a maternity department it would mean either moving house or commuting miles each day, both prospect
s that filled her with dread. On the other hand how could she bear to carry on, seeing Tom every day, hearing his voice, maybe occasionally having to touch him, all the while knowing that at the end of each day he would return to his wife?
Really, she should be pleased for him, she told herself firmly, and for Joe and Francesca—especially Francesca who had so desperately wanted her parents to get back together again. And in the normal course of events she would have been pleased. If it had been any other couple she had heard about who had decided to give their marriage another try after having divorced, she would have been delighted. But this was Tom, the only man since Liam she had given her heart to. This was different…
When she reached home it was to find that Aunt Bessie was entertaining her friend Dorothy in her sitting room and the children were upstairs, watching television.
‘Would you like a cup of tea, dear?’ asked Aunt Bessie as Kate looked round the door to say hello.
‘No,’ Kate replied. ‘If you don’t mind, I need some air. I’m going to take a walk in the copse.’ The last thing she wanted in her present state of mind was to have to sit and listen to Aunt Bessie and her friend reminisce about the past.
It was deliciously cool in the copse, the evening sunlight filtering through the leaves of the sycamore trees and dappling the mossy pathway ahead. Apart from the occasional rustlings of some small animal as it foraged for food, the only sound to be heard was the song of a bird as it accompanied Kate, flying alongside her from branch to branch. The sheer peace of the woods helped to calm the turmoil of her thoughts, and by the time she reached the five-bar gate at the boundary she was able to lean on the top bar and, in a quieter mood, gaze out over the rich gold of the ripening crops in the field beyond. So lost did she become in her thoughts and reflections that she failed to hear any sound on the soft path behind her, and by the time she heard her name spoken he was almost beside her.
She turned sharply to find Tom there. ‘Oh!’ she gasped. ‘You made me jump. No one comes to these woods…’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I should have called out or something.’
A Very Special Surgeon Page 16