by Dani Wade
Could she do it when the time came? Leave her child? Leave the man she loved?
Blair’s eyes shot up to the man seated across the table. Loved? Oh, my God, she thought, a faint tremor rippling through her body. She did love him.
Every cell in her body was attuned to him. Her days became better, brighter, when he was with her. Life before him compared to life now, was like the difference between tinned spaghetti and the deliciously delicate flavors of porcini mushrooms and date shell mussels in the Spaghetti Allo Scoglio Cristiano had shown her the day before.
And that in itself was a perfect example of how she felt. On the outside looking in on perfection, yet not permitted inside.
She ached to see him each morning and missed him each night when they parted. Somehow, sometime in their tumultuous relationship, attraction had deepened, had turned into something more. Or perhaps, she realized, she had loved him all along but had fought tooth and nail to deny her own feelings. After all, her experience with Rhys had led to disaster, both emotional and financial, and her father’s views on life and love had long tainted her own—making her distrustful, careful not to commit to anyone fully. In hindsight, that had probably been what had driven Rhys into Alicia’s arms, Blair realized. Could she dare to hope that with Draco things could be different?
It would mean taking a chance, the biggest risk she’d ever taken in her life. Was she capable of such a thing?
“Is something wrong?” Draco asked, bringing his cup of coffee to his lips.
Blair shook her head, she barely trusted herself to speak. Since the day they’d made love, Draco had been withdrawn from her. Sure, he remained friendly, a perfect host in fact. But he’d withdrawn from her emotionally. Different from the man she’d spent time with here, and again back in Auckland. One throwaway remark, cast by her in anger and shock when he’d discovered the pregnancy, had hardened him and created a gulf between them she had to decide to bridge or forever leave as a yawning chasm. The afternoon after they’d arrived here he’d let down his guard around her, and for the space of a few hours they’d recreated the bond they had between them.
But then she’d somehow damaged that closeness and he’d withdrawn back behind the demands of his work. Granted, they were many and spanned the globe—but they’d lost something she hadn’t even known they’d shared, until it was gone. The loss—now she acknowledged it—had a left a gaping darkness deep inside her.
“I’ll see you this evening then,” he said, settling the fine china of his cup back on its saucer and rising from his seat.
“You won’t be back at lunchtime?”
“Unfortunately not. I have business in Firenze today, but I’ll be back in time for dinner.”
“Florence? Could I come with you? It wouldn’t take me a moment to get ready.” She’d love the opportunity to find herself some new clothes and to poke around the culinary shops.
“Perhaps next time. I’ll be tied up in meetings all day and I have no wish for you to get lost on your own.”
“Draco, I’m a big girl. I can look after myself for the day.”
“I’d rather show you the city when we have time to really enjoy it, and I’d like to see it through your eyes when I take you there for your first time.”
Blair’s heart somersaulted in her chest when he smiled at her. She swallowed back the disappointment that flooded her as he left the room, the disappointment and the ridiculous sense of abandonment she suddenly felt. Today was no different than any other, she scolded herself. She’d get ready now for her session with Gabbi and then enjoy the rest of the day as she’d enjoyed every other so far. So what if she had to amuse herself for lunch before her lesson with Cristiano? As she’d said to Draco, she was a big girl now, and besides, she had an awful lot she needed to think about before she saw him again.
Blair completed another lap of the pool, relishing the smooth glide of the water along her skin. She was no further ahead in her ponderings than she’d been this morning, in fact her concentration had been so off all day that even Cristiano had begun to lose a little patience with her in the kitchen this afternoon. In the end, she’d withdrawn from his domain pleading tiredness, and had enjoyed an unaccustomed afternoon nap in the shade here by the pool. She’d woken feeling fuzzy in the head. A fuzziness that was dissipating with each stroke of her arms as she turned and swam another length.
Blair’s hands bumped against the edge of the pool and she stood ready to pull herself up and onto the edge. Suddenly she realized she wasn’t alone.
On a lounger at the poolside sat an impeccably groomed woman. Blair didn’t have to look hard to reognize a family resemblance. If she wasn’t mistaken, this was Draco’s mother. The woman rose and walked with a graceful stride toward her, offering a hand to Blair to help her out of the pool.
“Here, my dear. Let me assist you.”
“Thank you.” Blair took her hand, wishing like crazy that she’d opted today to wear her full-piece swimsuit. The bikini she’d slipped on did little to hide the thickening of her waist, and the new fullness to her breasts made her old bikini top almost indecent.
She accepted the thick, white towel the woman handed to her and wrapped it protectively around her, but the assessing look in the other woman’s eye proved she had missed nothing.
“You must be Blair,” she said, with a gentle smile. “I am Sabina Sandrelli, Draco’s mother.”
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting anyone,” Blair started.
“I should have called first, I know. But I grow tired of waiting for Draco to introduce us. It is as I expected. You are pregnant, are you not?”
Blair felt color rush to her face. “I…”
“Don’t worry, I am happy for the news, although it would have been nicer to have been told by my son than to have confirmed it myself.” Sabina leaned forward and gave Blair a pat on her arm. “Umberto, Draco’s father, will also be pleased. He tried to talk me out of bringing us both here today, but Draco has had long enough to keep you to himself. It was past time for you to meet the family, such as we are left.”
“Draco’s father is here also?” Blair asked, her eyes darting around to see if he was here at the poolside.
Sabina smiled. “He’s in the kitchen, no doubt driving Cristiano crazy picking from his pots and pans to see what’s for dinner. I heard the company helicopter come in a short while ago. Why don’t you run along and get dressed and we can welcome Draco home together.”
Without waiting for a response Sabina walked away, her elegant cream trousers and matching jacket fluttering gently in the light breeze that chased around the poolside patio. Blair slowly sank into the lounger Sabina had been sitting on. Draco’s mother—wow, that was an experience. Clearly the woman was used to taking charge—like mother, like son, she thought ruefully, and reached for the sarong-style wrap she’d brought down to the pool with her. She wrapped it around her and wished that for once she’d had the presence of mind to grab a robe or something that would cover her more efficiently.
By the time she’d quickly showered and dried herself off, she started to worry about what on earth she could wear tonight that still fit. From the quality of Sabina Sandrelli’s clothing and the way she carried herself, Blair had no doubt that she would expect her to dress for dinner. She’d decided on a pair of wide-legged elastic-waist pants and a loose-fitting top, but when she went through to her room there were two boxes sitting on her bed, with a brief handwritten note from Draco.
“I thought of you when I saw these.”
She lifted the top off the first box and parted the tissue wrapped around its contents. A sigh gushed past her lips as she lifted out an exquisite mint-green nightgown, so sheer as to almost be indecent. He’d thought of her when he’d seen this? Perhaps there was hope for her after all. The next layer revealed a matching peignoir. Blair held the gossamer-fine garments against her skin. She couldn’t wait to wear them, but somehow she doubted that this would be the kind of thing that the elegant Sabina ha
d been expecting.
Blair removed the top off the second box and pulled out a cobalt-blue gown. She held it against her and swirled in front of the mirror. The color did amazing things for her skin, she decided, and the design—a full skirt dropping from the wide Empire-style waistband—would be perfect not only now, but in the coming summer months too. She dressed quickly and slid her feet into high-heeled black pumps.
A knock at the door dragged her from the mirror where she’d been standing, admiring the fall of the gown.
“Ah, it looks even better on you than on the model,” Draco said, coming into her room and closing the door.
Her eyes feasted on him. Dressed in a tailored, charcoal-gray suit, he was both formidable and undeniably sexy. Suddenly Blair felt self-conscious. She plucked at the fabric of dress.
“Thank you, it’s beautiful,” she said softly. “It’s all lovely.”
“I’m glad. I notice you haven’t worn earrings since you’ve been here, yet your ears are pierced. I hope you don’t mind, but I bought you these.”
Draco withdrew a small jeweler’s box from his jacket pocket and opened it. All the breath in Blair’s lungs froze when she saw the platinum-set diamond ear studs there.
“May I?” Draco asked.
He put the box down on the table next to him, then gently slipped one earring from its nest and removed the butterfly clasp off the back. His fingers brushed against Blair’s neck, his touch setting a flame across her skin as he put first one earring in one lobe, then the other. He turned her to face the mirror.
Blair lifted a trembling hand to touch an earring. She’d never owned anything so valuable before. As she reviewed her reflection, she almost didn’t recognize the woman who’d returned to the palazzo just over a week ago. There was a bloom to her skin that spoke of her increasing health, and the skin under her eyes was clear of the usual shadow of tiredness. In the gown and with these earrings she could almost fool herself into believing she belonged here amongst the sumptuous furnishings, at the side of the impeccably attired man reflected beside her. But she knew that was little more than a futile dream.
“Thank you, Draco, they’re beautiful. But I can’t accept such an expensive gift. Really.”
Regret sliced through her as she spoke from her heart. No matter what her trappings, she’d still be Blair Carson, chef and restaurateur. That title, and Carson’s, were what defined her. It was what she was, pure and simple.
“They are yours to do with what you wish, it makes no difference to me.” The warm light that had been in his eyes dimmed a little. “Now, shall we join my parents downstairs?”
Blair had almost forgotten. Almost, but not quite. Butterflies danced nervously in her stomach.
“She knows, Draco. Your mother, she knows I’m pregnant. She guessed.”
“I expected as much. Don’t worry. It is not a problem.”
Blair fervently hoped it wouldn’t be, and that she wouldn’t be put on the spot by Draco’s parents over their relationship. Tonight promised to be awkward. Already, she was looking forward to its end.
Downstairs they joined Sabina and Umberto in the formal salon Blair had only glimpsed from the doorway in the past week.
“Ah, don’t you look lovely,” Draco’s mother said, rising from her chair and crossing the room to take Blair by the hand. “Umberto, come meet Blair.”
Draco’s father was clearly a shadow of the man he’d once been, one side of his body clearly difficult to move and control. Once the introductions were completed, Sabina drew Blair to one side of the room, seating her by one of the tall, arched windows and taking the chair opposite.
“We can leave the men to their business. If they get it out of the way now, they won’t disturb us with it over our meal,” she said conspiratorially.
Blair just smiled. There was something about Sabina that made her feel inadequate. Nothing obvious, just a sensation. She was probably being ridiculous, but as Sabina gently prompted Blair for information about herself and her family, she felt as if she was sinking deeper and deeper in the other woman’s estimation.
Technically, she supposed she should be the hostess in this situation, but she knew that Sabina had spent most of her married life here in the palazzo, only moving to a smaller villa on the property a couple of years ago. Her general air of command put Blair very much on the defensive—a position she didn’t enjoy.
“Tell me, when is the baby due?” Sabina asked once she’d plumbed the depths of Blair’s family tree. Something that hadn’t taken very long.
“Not until the middle of November,” Blair managed to say through stiff lips.
“Ah, a winter baby. The nursery here is well-insulated, so you will not have to concern yourself that he will be cold.”
“There is a nursery?” Blair blurted out before she could think.
Of course there’d be a nursery here. Generations of Sandrellis had been born here so it made perfect sense the children would have had their own accommodation. A pang of concern struck her. Despite her agreement with Draco, she didn’t want to leave her baby. The very thought now filled her with dread.
“Men!” Sabina rolled her eyes. “I cannot believe that Draco has not shown you the nursery. After dinner I will show it to you. Now, tell me more about yourself. How did you and my son meet?”
Sabina was a great listener, and before long Blair had told her not only about how they’d met but how Draco had come back into her life in New Zealand. The older woman was nodding with a smile on her face.
“That’s my son. Never one to stand back and wait when he can just take what he wants. But despite that, he’s a good boy.”
Blair fought back a grin, it was hard to imagine that anyone could refer to Draco as a “boy.” As far as she was concerned he was all man—and it made the current distance between them all the harder to bear. She missed the closeness they’d shared before he discovered the pregnancy. As Sabina waxed lyrical about her son’s achievements, Blair gained a new insight into the complexities of the man she loved. It was clear he would do anything for his parents, and that despite the fact his father was no longer capable of being active in the Sandrelli’s business affairs, he regularly consulted with him about business decisions.
“Of course, when Marcella died we were all devastated. Umberto and I are very happy he’s found another so special.”
Sabina’s words made Blair sit upright. “Marcella?”
“Ah, I see Draco hasn’t told you about her yet.” Sabina’s lips formed a moue of irritation and she sighed. “Well, now, since I’ve mentioned her name, I should probably put your curiosity to rest.”
“I’m not—”
“My dear, don’t worry. Curiosity is a good thing, and if you and my son are to be married, then you should know about his late fiancée.”
Married? Before Blair could disabuse Draco’s mother of the idea another word sank into her head. Fiancée?
“It was terribly sad, of course. Marcella was such a darling girl. No one knew about her heart defect.”
“Had they…had they known each other long?”
Blair both wanted to know about this other woman and didn’t. She knew she’d be found wanting if she was to be compared side-by-side with the woman he had loved enough to offer marriage.
“Oh yes, she was the daughter of old friends. We’d always hoped for a family alliance, but sadly, it wasn’t meant to be.” Sabina lapsed into silence for a moment before continuing. “It’s why I wanted to see you for myself, you know. I suspected, when Draco told me you were living here, that you were more than just one of his passing flings. Then when I saw you, I knew you must be pregnant. I’m so glad he now has the chance to have the child he lost when Marcella passed away.”
“She was pregnant?” A cold chill ran down Blair’s back.
“Yes, she knew how important family was to Draco, especially after Lorenzo’s accident. She didn’t want to wait until after they were married to start their family. Of course her pa
rents were horrified when she announced to us all that she was having Draco’s baby, but they soon came to look forward to it as much as we did.”
“You mentioned a heart problem. Did Marcella know?”
“Apparently so. She’d been warned not to have children, but I think she was scared she’d lose Draco if she didn’t. She risked her life to have his baby. Sadly, the risk was too great. We lost them both. I thought Draco would go mad with grief.”
Again Sabina lapsed into silence, but then drew in a deep breath and straightened her shoulders.
“But that’s in the past, and now we have a new baby to look forward to. And a wedding!” She clapped her hands together. “Have you two set a date yet?”
“No, Mamma, we have not.”
Both women wheeled around in their seats as Draco’s voice interrupted them. He handed his mother a glass of white wine and Blair a fruit juice. Blair couldn’t tell from his expression whether he’d overheard his mother’s conversation. Draco speared her with a searching glance. Did he imagine for one minute that she’d told his mother they were engaged? Blair knew she had to put Sabina right.
“Actually, we’re not engaged,” she said, slightly breathless.
“Not engaged?” Sabina’s perfect eyebrows shot toward her hairline and she directed a stern look at her son.
“No, Mamma,” Draco confirmed in a voice that did not encourage further discussion on the topic.
His father shuffled over to join them and conversation turned to more general topics, but all evening and all through their meal Blair was plagued with questions racing around in her mind about his dead fiancée.
Suddenly, Draco’s heavy-handed approach to her pregnancy began to make sense now. She had a deeper understanding of what this pregnancy meant to him, why his reaction had been so sudden and so severe when he’d found out about it, and why he was so determined she have the best care that money could buy. Not that it had saved poor Marcella, she thought grimly. She wondered what had driven the other woman to deliberately enter into a pregnancy, knowing it could take her life—take her from the very man she loved enough to want to spend the rest of her life with him.