by Mia Pride
Dusk fell over the land, casting purple and coral streaks across the majestic sky, lighting up the clouds with the light of the setting sun. It was a beautiful sight, but not beautiful enough to replace Brianna’s face in his mind. He would simply have to let his memory of her sustain him. He would see her on occasion, of course, as he was still in his king’s service. But being away from the village was the best thing for him now. He would miss Wee Ferghus but vowed to watch and protect the lad as he grew. He may not be able to fulfill his vow to marry Brianna, but he would protect them from a distance.
The festival was well on its way and it was safe to assume Brianna had vacated her home by now. She would never miss Ferghus’s ceremony. He was an arse to miss it, but Ferghus would understand. For now, he needed to collect his belongings while he was certain she was away. Once he had everything, he would seek his solace in the quiet woods surrounding Coraindt.
* * *
The smoke from the many fires surrounding the festival was thick and felt like a stone sitting on Brianna’s chest. Or perhaps that was her heart shattering into pieces. She had been unfair to Robert, but her grief constantly sent her emotions into a spiral and she still stood by her convictions. She would not marry Robert simply to help him keep his honor. Had he even attempted to convince her that his offer of marriage was genuine, mayhap she would have accepted or at least considered it. But he had admitted to denying Ferghus’s request in the beginning. Still, her heart ached for the way they had left things. The memory of the night before lingered, as did the soreness between her legs.
And curse her woman’s body because she longed for more of his touch, but she had made her choice, even if regret now filled her.
Stepping away from the smoke, she stayed back as the druid performed the ritual to help the souls of the lost cross the veil. Was Ferghus’s soul still here now or had he already passed on? The fires lit around the village were meant to serve as beacons, guiding the souls toward the Otherworld. Her eyes scanned the crowd and her heart dropped more and more as she realized Robert was not amongst the people. Where could he have gone?
Wee Ferghus squirmed and she shifted him in her arms, turning her child away from the billowing smoke. Darragh, Ginny, and Agatha were in the crowd and Brianna longed to approach them and ask if they had seen Robert, but they were mourning their other son and murmuring the prayers for the dead along with the druid. She could not interrupt such a solemn moment to ask about Robert. And why was she thinking of Robert when she should be reciting the prayers for Ferghus, herself?
“The veil grows thin at the time of the dead, as we honor our long-lost ancestors, in whose footsteps we tread,” the druid recited and Brianna tried to focus, murmuring along with him. But her mind would not stay with the prayer. She kept thinking of Robert and Ferghus. What would Ferghus say to her if he was here? He would likely weep from her betrayal. A chill ran up her spine and a sob escaped her throat. She was a wicked, weak woman. Mayhap she could forgive herself for seeking pleasure with Robert, but it was her burning, painful, unending love for the man that made her heart quake with repentance.
“I am so sorry, Ferghus,” she whispered as she watched the smoke billow from the large fire before her and drift up to the sky. “I am the worse sort of woman and I have betrayed you with love for another. How you must hate me.” Tears tracked down her cheeks, running down the column of her neck.
In her despair, she was not certain when the ceremony ended, but suddenly Keegan stood beside her, causing her to gasp at his unsightly appearance. He had twin black eyes from his fight with Robert the night before and his blond hair was a mess. One finger came up to wipe her tears away and she was surprised to see remorse in his gaze. “Do not weep, Bri,” Keegan said with a sad smile. “All will be well.”
Nothing felt well at all. “I am sorry about last night, Brianna, truly. I hope you can forgive my behavior. Where is Robert? I must seek his forgiveness, as well.” All she could do was shrug. She had not seen Robert since the night before. Keegan’s brow dropped. “You do not know? What could possibly keep the Lone Wolf from a ceremony for his brother?”
Heartache, rejection, sorrow, she thought to herself. She had caused him great enough pain to make him stay away and that sudden realization was like a punch to the gut. “Keegan. You were there when Ferghus passed, aye?” He nodded slowly and ran a hand through his hair. “What did Ferghus ask of Robert in those final moments?”
“Robert did not tell you?” genuine shock shone in his eyes.
“He told me Ferghus insisted he marry me,” she replied with indignation. It still hurt every time she spoke the words.
“Brianna, listen, I have loved you my entire life. All three of us have. There has always been this underlying competition for you between myself and the Wolf Brothers. I tried to force my attention on you years ago and I never apologized. I am deeply sorry.”
Why was Keegan saying all this now, and what did it have to do with Ferghus’s last words? “Ferghus knew Robert loved you. He waited for Robert, but when he did not offer for you, Ferghus did. But in his heart, you always belonged to Rob.”
“Nay. ’Tis not true. I loved Ferghus very much,” she protested.
“Aye, I know, Bri. But you never stopped loving Robert and he never stopped loving you. Ferghus knew this.”
“So, he forced Robert to vow to marry me?” she asked, shifting Wee Ferghus in her arms and looking around for any sign of Robert in the crowd.
Keegan sniggered and shook his head. “’Twas not forced, lass. ’Tis all Robert ever wanted. Ferghus made certain of it when he forced an admission from Robert.”
Her brow furrowed, and her heart skittered. “I do not understand, Keegan.”
“Robert told Ferghus he was desperately in love with you. It was clear Ferghus knew and he was demanding honesty before he died. That was when Ferghus made Robert vow to wed you.”
“But… but Robert refused at first.” Her hands were shaking and her legs were weak. Ferghus knew Robert loved her?
“Lass. To marry you would mean Ferghus was gone. Of course, Robert refused. He was not ready to lose his brother. But he loves you. Ferghus wanted you to be happy together, truly. I saw it in his eyes and heard it on his lips, Bri.”
She could not take it anymore. She needed to find Robert. She had made a grave error. “Keegan, ’tis unlike you to be so honest with me.”
Her words made him chuckle. “You know me well. Mayhap I have bent the knee to defeat. I never stood a chance with you. ’Tis time I accept that and move on. I only ever wanted you to be happy. So, go. Find Robert. Be happy.”
Keegan bowed slightly and left swiftly, fading into the crowd and smoke. Was it possible? Could she truly be happy? Abigael’s words swam in her mind again. That was no false message. Ferghus had been urging her to seek happiness. If he only knew how happy she had been with him, as well.
“Ferghus. If you can hear me, please know I loved you so very much. I would have been content with you forever. And you gave me our child.” Another tear slid down her cheek. “Am I a terrible woman for loving another man? For seeking happiness in this life as I move on?”
A cold hand clamped down on her wrist and Brianna screamed at the top of her lungs, almost dropping her child.
“Do not fret, lass. ’Tis only I.”
Clasping a hand over her heart, Brianna groaned. “Och, Abigael. You scared me half to death!”
“I am sorry lass, but I could feel your turmoil from across the village. Did I not already give you Ferghus’s words?” the healer said gently, squeezing Brianna’s hand.
“Aye, you did. Only, I wanted to make certain he would not hate me forever,” Brianna kissed Wee Ferghus on the top of his fuzzy head and rocked him gently in her arms.
“Do you think your dead husband has time to console your every fear?” Abigael scoffed. “He told you to find love… with Robert. Ferghus has passed over the veil now, lass. You will find nay more signs from him. He told you
both what he wished while he could. ’Tis up to you now to do as you wish with it. Do you not love Robert?”
“Aye, that I do. Very much. I have ruined everything!” she squeaked, feeling her anxiety return as she looked around for him once more.
“You will not find him here, lass. He has gone to the place you used to play as children. He felt you preferred to live without his presence.”
“Gone? Did Ferghus tell you this as well?”
Abigael waved a hand in Brianna’s face. “Nay, lass. I am the queen’s mother! I know aught! Robert told King Garreth he wished to be away. I am not so wise in all matters. I simply use my ears,” the old woman smiled, her gray hair fluttering gently in the breeze. Putting out her hands, Abigael grabbed Wee Ferghus from Brianna’s hands. “Now… shoo! Go! Before Robert truly turns into the Lone Wolf!”
Brianna’s heart fluttered wildly in her chest. It was seldom a woman got more than one second chance. She would not waste another moment. Before she could second-guess herself again, Brianna fled into the woods, knowing precisely where to find her love.
Chapter Twelve
This cursed hut had been a terrible idea. This place was filled with memories of Brianna. It was just outside this hut where he found her tied to a tree and had rescued her. It was that very night she vowed to marry him one day. He loved her even then, he was just too young to know it. It had been within the walls of this hut that she had dared to kiss him for the first time. One of her old dresses was still stored in the worn wooden chest in the corner, its iron hinges now rusted over. The thatch roof needed repairs and based on the dampness of the earthen floor, it had been leaking for quite a while. ’Twas nothing he could not manage. He could take on any physical task. But could he take on the challenge of living here all alone, living with nothing more than her memory?
The ceremonies had to have concluded by now. He had said his piece to his brother and strangely, a calmness had come over him. Both he and Ferghus knew he was meant to be with Brianna. If only the lass knew it, as well. But she was mourning the loss of her true love and he would not push himself on her. If all he had left was this old red, faded and tattered dress that Brianna used to wear constantly, then he would cherish it and keep it close to his heart every day. This was not the way he ever expected to live, but life seldom went as planned.
Come morning, he would begin by repairing the roof and cutting logs for a fire. He would set some animal traps and gather both meat and furs. Aye, he could do this alone, even if alone was the last thing he wanted. A part of him hoped his seed stuck within Brianna’s womb. Was it selfish to wish his child upon her even if she did not love him? Probably, but he desperately wanted a child of his own and only Brianna would do as its mother. She could hardly avoid him forever if she birthed his babe.
“You really are an arse, Rob,” he murmured to himself as he sat upon the wooden chest, clutching her red dress to his chest.
“Aye, you are.” Turning his gaze toward the door, he saw moonlight filtering in through the doorway. He had started a small fire but with wet wood and little kindling, he had only been able to find a few usable pieces of wood, giving him little light or warmth. His gaze narrowed as the familiar figure stepped into the room.
“Bri?” She wore what appeared to be a light blue dress, though it may have been the light of the moon casting a shadow over her.
“Aye.” She stepped forward slowly, hands on her round hips. “May I ask why you are out here all alone, Robert? Living up to your new name?”
Standing slowly, he took a few tentative steps toward her. He wanted to entrance her, kiss her, ravish her, but instead, he did what he suspected she preferred and kept his distance. “I am here because this is my new home.”
“Nay. ’Tis not.” She stepped closer and now he could see her features a little better. She wore a tentative smile and wrung her hands nervously.
“’Tis not?” he asked in confusion. Was she trying to chase him away from the village altogether? His ire peaked. “I suppose I am not far enough away for your liking?” he asked irritably.
“’Tis much too far away for my liking, Robert.”
“And where would you have me, Brianna? You made it clear I was unwanted.”
Shaking her head, she placed a hand on his chest. His heart beat wildly. He wanted to stay angry with her, but it was too cursed hard when her floral scent filled the musty room and her internal light glowed all around, making everything brighter. “Robert. Can you forgive me? I have been grieving, but I have also been cruel.”
“You are forgiven, Bri. I know Ferghus’s death has been hard for us both. I just do not know why you are here. How did you find me?”
“Nothing is a secret in a small village,” she smirked and he twitched, fighting back the urge to pull her to him. “Tell me what you told me yesterday,” she whispered.
Frowning, he shook his head in confusion. “I said many things.”
Her other hand pressed against his chest, bringing her body up against his. “Tell me what you said after we made love.”
Furrowing his brow in thought, he closed his eyes to remember the moment. How could he forget? He had confessed his love and she had refused him. Now she wished him to make a fool of himself again? His pride almost made him refuse, but his need to see where she was going with this was much too strong.
“I love you,” he murmured, looking down at her big bright eyes. She was smiling and his heartbeat picked up a notch.
“I love you, too, Robert O’Faolain. ’Twas just outside these walls when I vowed to marry you one day, was it not?”
“Aye. I rescued you and you said you would marry me.”
“But you never asked.”
He pulled her to him, feeling her breasts crush against his chest. “I asked you last night,” he growled, his lips hovering just above hers. Gods, he loved this woman.
“And I foolishly refused you,” she said, bringing her lips up to his, brushing them gently with her own. “Marry me, Robert.”
His head spun as her words sank in. Was he living in one of his many dreams? Lifting her up by the waist, he felt her legs wrap around his hips as his lips slashed across hers. His tongue delved into her sweet mouth and she opened for him as her hands went around his neck. He needed to have her again, here and now. There was no bed yet, only a pile of soggy furs he had been loath to sleep on. Pushing her against the wall, he slid his hands under her dress and gripped her bare backside in his hands. Her skin was as soft as the finest silk he had once seen on a trade ship from a faraway land. She felt so good against him, her dark hair draped around his head.
“You have not answered me,” she whispered as her hand released his neck and came down to his trousers, pulling on the string.
His trousers loosened and easily pooled around his ankles. Fumbling with her skirts, he found his way beneath them with one hand and pushed his manhood into her with a groan. “Aye,” he growled as he filled her to the hilt. “I wish to marry you and make love to you every day. I have many years to make up for,” he whispered as he kissed down her long neck, his beard dragging down her skin as she laughed.
“’Tis your own fault, that,” she panted as he rocked against her, losing himself to her snug heat. She arched and screamed, banging her head on the wall behind her. She did not seem to notice or care as her entire body stiffened around him, causing him to lose himself in her.
“Aye, ’tis my own fault,” he agreed as her arms wrapped around him again and she buried her head in his neck. “I plan to make up for it every day of my life.”
“You are off to a good start, I would say,” she practically purred like a feline in his ear; he was so overcome with love for this woman in his arms, he had to focus on his breathing whenever she was near.
“Tell me what else I can do to make it right, Bri, and I shall do it.” He still held her tightly in his arms, her legs wrapped around his torso with a grip so strong he expected she planned to stay there for quite some time.
Sprinkling soft kisses over his eyelids, his nose, both cheeks, and finally landing on his lips with a loud smacking sound, she looked into his eyes and he saw pure love staring back at him. “Help me raise Wee Ferghus as your own.”
“Done,” he said without hesitation. He already loved the wee lad as his own.
“And… I want many more children,” she whispered.
“Done,” he agreed again with a smirk, looking forward to the task.
“Make love to me one more time, then take me home.”
Pressing her against the wall once more, he groaned as all his dreams came true at once, finally feeling a hard-earned peace wash over him. He would have the love of a good woman and many children to sire. Never again would he be the Lone Wolf.
“Done,” he murmured against her lips, never happier in his entire life.
Author’s Note
Thank you for taking the time to read The Lone Wolf’s Lass! I have had so much fun writing for the wonderful World of De Wolfe Pack Series, created by the fantastic Kathryn Le Veque. I thank her for allowing me to become part of her world!
All my Celtic Romance novels take place in the first century AD and I just love writing about this time period! The Pagan Celts had a wonderful social structure that viewed women as equals, had a very firm set of laws called the Brehon Laws, and were much more civilized and modern than many people believe. Ornate jewelry and clothing were important to them as a vain society and they bathed frequently. Cleanliness was highly regarded and expected, especially in the noble ranks. It’s a time of fire festivals, faeries, myth lore, and powerful women whom I just love to create!
The story of Robert and Brianna has been in my mind for a long while now, and the story was more painful to write than I suspected. I wanted Ferghus to be a beloved character who would be hard to lose. But when that time came, I was filled with so many emotions. It is never easy to remove a strong character, but it had to happen, otherwise Robert and Brianna would never fulfill their destiny together.