To Jesse, Nadja’Lyn, and Quinn, your Mamie loves you and likes you over and over and over again!
To Paul, always to you, you are indeed all that is good in Patrick. My soccer player does have the sexiest legs! Thank you for loving me so much and so well. Je t’aime tant.
And dear readers, just so you know, I have never received hate mail! Thank you for your patience as I get to know you through social media and beyond. Your heartfelt emails and comments make my calling as a storyteller worth it.
As we are bombarded with the world’s truth . . . as life goes viral and everyone knows everything about everyone else . . . as many post their wrath on social media . . . I pray that the world will know that we are Christians by our love.
Because if dear Henry could find that love and redemption, so can others.
May it be.
And finally, to Jesus, my Savior and Lord, the Lover of my soul, the Giver of extravagant grace, and my Faithful Friend, I owe everything to you—my life, my love, my all.
Find Support
If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone. There are many supports, services, and treatment options that may help. A change in behavior or mood may be the early warning signs of a mental health condition and should never be ignored. There are many different types of mental illness, and it isn’t easy to simplify the range of challenges people face.
Here are some things to consider when reaching out:
If it’s an emergency in which you or someone you know is suicidal, you should immediately call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255, call 9-1-1, or go to a hospital emergency room. If you can wait a few days, make an appointment with your primary health-care provider if you think your condition is mild to moderate.
If your symptoms are moderate to severe, make an appointment with a specialized doctor such as a psychiatrist. You may need to contact your community mental health center or primary health-care provider for a referral.
If you or your child is in school or at college, contact the school and ask about their support services.
Seek out support groups in your community and educate yourself about your symptoms and diagnosis. Social support and knowledge can be valuable tools for coping. https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/
Discussion Questions for
When I Close My Eyes
Is Henry Hughes a sympathetic character in your eyes? Why or why not?
Have you ever been in a situation that felt so desperate that you chose to do something that you would ordinarily never consider? If so, what happened?
Have you or someone you are close to ever felt like Josephine, with a “hole in her head”? Have you been able to talk about this with others, to find help for yourself or the person concerned?
In Chapter 17, Drake says to Paige, “Faith and mental instability aren’t mutually exclusive, Bourdy.”
Christians often disagree about treatment for mental health issues. Has reading this story changed your thoughts on depression and suicide? How or how not?
Paige asks Drake if you can love someone too much. Discuss Patrick’s love for Josephine and his decision to keep her suicide attempt secret. Have you ever kept a secret out of love for someone? Can a person love another person “too much”?
Which of the characters in the story can you most relate to and why? Whose faith journey can you most relate to and why?
Have you ever had an Awful Year? Discuss the issue of family secrets and their effect on individuals.
Why does Paige protect her father? What is she afraid of?
Discuss Josephine’s Lucidity Lath. What are some different tools you use to hear truth instead of lies?
Near the end of the novel Drake says, “It’s irony, Bourdy. Not hypocrisy. The whole thing is ironic. But she does believe it. You know good and well she believes it. She just went on a rabbit trail in her mind, and she didn’t receive it for a while. Almost every Christian I know has done that at some point in his or her journey.” Do you agree or disagree? Discuss why.
Henry’s faith journey is greatly influenced by his reading several of Josephine’s novels. Have you ever had a novel touch you deeply and help you as you considered spiritual questions?
After reading the Gospels as well as Josephine’s novels, Henry comes to this conclusion: “Just like I’d been thinking, Jesus was always, always hanging around with sinners. . . . If Jesus came to earth today, I wondered if He’d be in the big fancy churches. Well, maybe He’d go in there and preach a sermon in His jeans, but then I just bet He’d ask some of the gang members to have lunch with Him. And He’d invite those poor trafficked gals and probably a bunch of those gay people who didn’t seem to be welcomed at churches, and maybe even, maybe He’d invite me to lunch too. Now wouldn’t that be something to see?”
What do you think about Henry’s line of reasoning?
Both Paige and Henry are disturbed by hypocrisy they see in Christians. Paige says, “The Bible says we should be able to tell people are Christians by their love. I feel the same way as you, Henry. I want to see love, not hate.” Discuss the effects that hypocrisy has had on you and those you care about.
Discuss appropriate ways to agree and disagree over social media.
One of the main themes of the novel is how to accept grace. Near the end of the novel, Josephine says, “But Henry, he had a different approach. He said that we humans are all real messed up and needing God’s forgiveness and grace. . . . I understood in a deeper way the gift of forgiveness that I gave to others but had such a hard time bestowing on myself or receiving from God. . . . I marvel that, when I finally came to the end of myself, what I found was a whole lot of grace.”
How would you explain God’s grace? Do you have a hard time receiving and extending grace? Why or why not?
Elizabeth Musser writes “entertainment with a soul” from her writing chalet—tool shed—outside Lyon, France. Elizabeth’s highly acclaimed, bestselling novel, The Swan House, was named one of Amazon’s Top Christian Books of the Year in 2001 and one of Georgia’s Top Ten Novels of the Past 100 Years. All of Elizabeth’s novels have been translated into multiple languages and have been international bestsellers.
For over thirty years, Elizabeth and her husband, Paul, have been involved in missions work in Europe with One Collective, formerly International Teams. The Mussers have two sons, a daughter-in-law, and three grandchildren.
Find out more about Elizabeth and her novels at www.elizabethmusser.com.
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Table of Contents
Cover
Endorsements
Books by Elizabeth Musser
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Contents
Epigraph
Part One: The Beginning of the End 1
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8
Part Two: Back from the Dead 9
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Part Three: The End of Myself 15
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Epilogue
Acknowledgments
Find Support
Discussion Questions for When I Close My Eyes
About the Author
Back Ads
Back Cover
List of Pages
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When I Close My Eyes Page 30