Her groaning belly and something else altogether made Halina Rubenstein feel weak, hollowed out, as the swaying train continued to grumble along its tracks. She had next to no idea what the time was, or how long they had been on the train. Had she slipped in and out of consciousness through fainting, or had she dozed off from exhaustion? An overwrought mother temporarily distracted Halina. She was holding her waif-like daughter next to her, whispering into her ear like some mantra, "God is with us...God is with us" - as if trying to convince herself and bolster her own spirits as much as her young girl's.
Where once the 150 or so deportees in Halina's carriage wanted the inhumane journey (or "shuttle service" as it was sometimes called by the Germans) to end, a natural feeling of dread invisibly yet tangibly formed inside the car as they crossed the River Bug. They realised they were nearing their destination. Where once people fainted in the heat teeth now chattered and people shivered in fear. Would they just all be shot? Someone had said how they had a euthanasia programme in Germany and they had used lethal injections. Or people in the ghetto reported, apparently hearing it from men who had escaped from the camp, that the Germans were gassing people. But surely they would still need some of them as workers? Yes, there was still hope.
The train began to slow and the rhythmic bass of the wheels below turned into high-pitched squealing. Halina's eyes darted left and right through the barbed wire window, being crushed against the side of the carriage as other people tried to do the same. The facade of an empty ticket office and a sign signifying that there was a restaurant helped Halina believe that the station might indeed be a designated stop - and as promised they would be taking on food and water.
Halina could hear many of the other carriages being opened. The rousing shouts were deafening. The caustic yellow sun near blinded the squinting woman.
"Shnell! Shnell!" the thuggish, Ukrainian guards announced, pulling the front ranks of the evacuees down from the carriages. Whips were brandished and employed with malice. Not wishing to share their fate - and often landing on those who had been hauled to the floor - the people hurriedly got off the trains. Halina too was particularly eager in getting onto the platform in hope of re-joining her husband. She prayed that he had been lucky enough to find someone who would look after him. A couple of shots rang out from the other end of the platform but for the most part there was an absence of arbitrary executions and beatings (the soldiers full knowing that the consignment of Jews would all be dispatched within the hour anyway).
A young, intelligent-looking SS officer stood on a raised platform in the station square where, beneath him, the evacuees congregated until everyone had been unloaded from the train. He removed some flecks of ash off his otherwise pristine officer's cap, and then brushed a couple of flies away from his face using one of his leather gloves. Yawning, going through the expressions of boredom and annoyance, he finally, adopting a personable and pragmatic tone, spoke to his charges via a microphone and speakers.
"You are now at a transit camp. Soon you will be given food and water for the rest of your journey, but first we need to bathe you and give you your new work clothes. You need to first tie-up your shoes (Jewish boys who were fortunate enough to work at the camp here began to move among the crowd and handed out string). You do not want to lose them or get them mixed-up. If you have any valuables you must also deposit them with one of my men for now. Do not worry, you will be given a receipt and anything handed over will be given back to you when you are all given your new garments."
Despite the level assurances of the German officer few people here took up the offer. Valuables were confiscated rather than freely handed over. As well as collecting valuables a handful of SS soldiers also entered the crowd and removed any healthy-looking young Jewish men who were candidates for work duties at the camp (one of their first tasks would be to sort through the clothes and possessions of their dead friends and families after the gassings). Those who seemed too old or sick to manage the trip to the gas chambers were also removed from the group. They would be taken to a building marked "Hospital" situated at the back of the camp. Once inside the building, which was decorated with a Red Cross, prisoners would be executed with revolver shots to the head by the same soldiers who kindly escorted the "patients" to the hospital. Despite the agony of her aching feet and ankles Halina stood on tip-toes and tried, frantically, in vain, to pick out her husband's face amidst thousands of downcast, apprehensive expressions.
"You will soon be temporarily separated, where you will undress and wash yourselves in the showers provided. The women among you will be shaved. We are doing this for your benefit as it will prevent the spread of lice in the future." In reality the policy was initiated for the benefit of industrial purposes, the hair being used to make, among other things, socks for German U-boat crews.
The square began to clear as men and women, families, were forcibly separated amidst tears and screams - as whips lashed into tardy backs and faces. Halina caught wind of a strange, acrid smell which permeated the air. She gazed over to where the fumes seemed to be originating from and noticed the clouds of smoke which rose, along with endless vomiting streams of ash, from behind a group of buildings on the other side of the camp. Noticing that it was not just the old woman who was stopping to pause at the putrid odour and belching fires, the guard explained that the camp possessed a small rubber manufacturing plant.
More shouting. As much as there was an initial commotion amidst the evacuees the soldiers were efficient and well practised at establishing order and processing their charges. The clean-shaven officer upon the platform continued to be the voice of reason and calm also.
"Please be as quick as possible. The quicker we can shower and clothe you, the quicker you will be able see your loved ones again and we'll be able to feed you."
Standing behind the young but accomplished SS soldier two other, senior, SS officers nodded appreciatively to each other as if to say he was doing well. Albeit one of them, one Kurt Franz, was wary of the classically educated Lieutenant - partly out of envy, partly because of the naked ambition of the adolescent. Kurt Franz nevertheless showed his approval of the efficient toad-eater in front of the commandant of the camp, Franz Stangl. Stangl, a devoted family man and practising Catholic, would later remark after the war in relation to his tenure at the camp, "That was my profession. I enjoyed it. It fulfilled me.” Kurt Franz himself was Stangl's second in command, a veteran of both the concentration camp at Buchenwald and original T-4 programme; he was proficient as he was sadistic in his duties. Survivors of Treblinka, of which there were precious few, attested to his singular brutality and zeal, even training his dog to attack his victims by biting them in the genitals.
Again, as it had now become the routine for the day, Halina was swept along by the buffeting tide of people (now consisting solely of soldiers and women) to be channelled into a large barracks building. Polish women, as well as the soldiers from the camp, ordered and helped the women undress. The buzz of electric shavers sounded in the background. Fear eventually overruled Halina's sense of discomfort and the once elegant Jewess began to undress, her gaze stapled to a spot on the floor so as to avoid any awkward eye contact with the rest of the women. Halina began to quietly sob again. She clutched her patched-up clothes to her chest but a flint-faced Polish woman soon snatched the bundle away from her and pushed Halina towards the queue where the female evacuees were having their heads shaven. In place of her clothes the self-conscious woman placed her withered arms and hands over her private parts. Man-handled by another Polish woman Halina's hair was shaved. Should she and many of the other women in the barracks have been provided with mirrors at this final indignity few would have recognised themselves.
A giant tube linked the barracks to a building which housed what the Germans called the "Baths and Inhalation" rooms. The naked women screamed as they were viciously whipped and ordered to hurry down the pipe. The Germans called the long circular conduit "Himmelfahrstrasse" - "the path
to heaven". Such was the hysteria and speed which accompanied Halina as the diminished woman was hurried through the tunnel that, like so many other moments during that day, she had little time to think about where she was heading? - or what was going to happen? Out of the corner of her eye she noticed two pots of colourfully blooming geraniums which stood either side of the entrance to the bathhouse. Halina briefly took in a copper Star of David which hung above the strange metal door.
The chamber that Halina and two hundred other Jewish women were forced into measured around eight metres by five metres. Blood and sick stains grazed the walls and floor of the tiled room. Decorative shower nozzles hung from the ceiling. Over the cries and screams of nakedly terrified people Halina heard the heavy door shut behind them all. A diesel engine pumped carbon monoxide gas into the chamber. Halina Rubenstein passed away. Her last clear thoughts were of her children - offering up a prayer that Jessica and Kolya would not suffer her fate.
Thirty minutes later a group of Sonderkommandos, also known as the "death brigade", emptied the chamber. Dentures and gold teeth were extracted. The corpses were then thrown into open pits and burned. Sometimes flesh was cut from a victim's body. A kettle was set up behind the gas chambers, where the flesh would be used to help produce soap.
15.
Time passes.
Morning. Dietmar Klos finally roused himself. He got up and closed the window. The draft was sharp upon his face, chilling his chest and spine beneath the goose-feather quilt. Once closed however the adjutant swiftly climbed back into bed and curled back up into a ball. He had now moved into his employer's apartment, such were the demands of his role to be at the industrious officer's side at all times. As a result Dietmar possessed quarters and privileges far beyond his rank. A quick scan of the secretary's room would take in a crystal tumbler filled with the leftovers of yester night’s brandy, a door leading to a private bathroom, an empty chocolate wrapper and even a costly gramophone.
One of the "rules" of the youth's employment was that Dietmar had to make sure he always returned to his quarters directly after his evening with the superior officer. Christian was sometimes afflicted with dark thoughts of disgust and despondency immediately after sex - the frigidity after the event was as pronounced as the all too brief and bestial excitement during the act. He wanted nothing more than for Dietmar just to be out of his sight after lighting him a cigarette. Moreover the Lieutenant ordered his adjutant to his room out of additional caution of the liaison not being discovered by the maid in the morning, or a fellow officer visiting him in the night on official business.
Dietmar had broken the rule once, to his sore regret and left cheek. The Lieutenant and his adjutant had experienced a pleasant evening together. Some of Christian's favourite pieces of classical music played in the background (with the Lieutenant attempting to impress upon Dietmar his superior taste) as they savoured their venison together, washed down with a fine bottle of claret on the officer's part. Christian had been in a convivial mood all that day, having received a letter from his father that morning informing him of the favourable reports that were circulating about him from high ranking SS officials. Partly due to the lift that this news brought him and partly due to the heady mood which the rich claret inspired in Christian he was particularly tender towards his partner. After discussing music for a little while, Christian generously offered to buy Dietmar his own gramophone for his room. At the close of the night Kleist freely surrendered himself to the whims and positions of his young but experienced lover - where usually he himself would play the dominant partner. The adjutant however, as well as being exhausted after the physical duties, also had more than his fair share of wine that evening and both men found themselves waking up in the same bed the following morning. With Christian already groggy and irritable from a penetrating hangover the adjutant's disobedience was not to be countenanced. Kleist, barely suppressing his ire, sternly ordered the youth out of his room. However, still in a playful mood from the amorous night before and wishing to test his powers in directing his lover, Dietmar made an advance towards his officer. The youth received a sudden and volatile reply. Christian violently struck the insubordinate boy around the face. Dietmar's left ear rang as a hot flush of pain heated his jaw and reality spiralled out of control for a second or two, but still the shocked secretary heard and obeyed the order spat out from his Lieutenant to leave the room. By the afternoon of that day the Lieutenant's headache - and anger at Dietmar's behaviour - subsided. He knocked upon his door and duly apologised to the youth, making sure to insert however that the adjutant had been wrong in both breaking one of his rules and disobeying a direct order. For his part Dietmar forgave and exonerated his partner to the point where he acted so chastised as to make Christian feel guiltier. Before the week was through - a week in which the Lieutenant permitted Dietmar not to leave the apartment and allow the dramatic red mark on his cheek to disappear - Christian made good on his word in buying his companion a gramophone.
The secretary had cause to be wary of his employer's temper again not ten days later however. As much as Christian could be generous the Lieutenant could also be demanding in terms of the work he set his new staff member. Moreover the standards he set were obsessively high. Part of Dietmar's duties involved dictation and drafting letters which the SS officer then sent to his superiors back in Berlin. Twice the Lieutenant had warned his secretary about his spelling before he received a letter back one afternoon which included a postscript commenting upon - in both a patronising and officious tone - the Lieutenant's spelling and basic errors in grammar. Christian was all the more nettled as the letter and rebuke appeared to have come from someone equal, or below him even, in rank; the letter also reiterated the directive that the Lieutenant and his men should target their resources and efforts upon the mass evacuations, instead of random and time consuming acts of exuberance and individual policing. Seething, Christian calmly called his assistant in and politely asked him to take the offending correspondence and file it immediately. As the unsuspecting adjutant leaned across the Lieutenant however to carry out his instruction Christian pinned the youth's hand upon the table and stubbed out his cigarette upon it,
"You fucking imbecile...Go back and check every letter you've sent out since this one. I classify people as either a help or a hindrance. Decide which you would rather be."
As with before though Kleist sincerely apologised to Dietmar later on that evening and promised that he would not treat him in such a way again - but again added that he had been in the wrong and expected better of a member of his staff in the future. To sufficiently and expediently win back the favour and loyalty of the youth Christian, without acting as if he were buying back his affection, offered to write a cheque to pay for any bomb damage that had been caused to Dietmar's parent's house back in Hamburg. At first, for good form's sake, Dietmar acted proudly and protested that the Lieutenant had no need to commit such a generous act, but upon the third time of being asked the secretary reluctantly yet gladly accepted the offer.
By now though, as Dietmar warmed and touched himself under his bedclothes, he believed that he was wiser to the Lieutenant's moods and demands. Experienced. If he didn't do anything wrong then he would not be punished. Kleist had never been explicit about it but the Lieutenant expected that Dietmar, like himself, should and could act differently (dramatically so) when in and out of company. Dietmar could now understand the unwritten order that he must act as his adjutant by day, lover by night. He was wise enough to choose to suffer in silence and put up with his partner's temper as he knew that the alternatives were far worse. As resigned to his fate and self-serving as the youth was it could equally be argued that the impressionable Private was, to some extent, falling under the spell of the dazzling Lieutenant. He genuinely enjoyed making the troubled officer smile, relieving him of the pressures of his duties. Dietmar told himself that it was his brief, both as his secretary and clandestine lover, to ease Christian's stresses and please him; he wil
lingly massaged - rather than wanted to be massaged - Christian's shoulders in the evening after dinner. The request by the tense Lieutenant - or sometimes Dietmar offered his services and soothing hands - was also the signal for the officer's demands for sex.
Duritz shivered. He buried himself under his two cotton sheets so that only the crown of his head could be seen poking out over the covers. He toyed with the idea of getting up and putting on more clothes but he hadn't the energy, nor was the chill in the air that unbearable, yet. He would remain in bed for the morning until the temperature rose a few degrees. He hoped to himself that he would be able to fall asleep between now and that time.
Adam had lost a little weight, grown a little paler. A species of migraine, in which the right side of his forehead felt like it had a block of ice pressing against it, was a regular bedfellow. He couldn't remember the last time that his mouth had been free from at least one pestering ulcer. Atrophy. His Augean room began to mirror his heart. One of the small pleasures in his life had become that of lancing boils that sprouted upon his buttocks, armpits and back. Duritz couldn't help but pick the scabs as well. A capsule of potassium cyanide rested upon a volume of Kafka's stories next to his bed.
Anna had left. She didn't even say goodbye, although a brief note had been shoved under his door. She said that she had to leave that night, or not at all. She was going into hiding and buying Polish papers. The note said for him to "take care" and that hopefully they would be able to find each other after the war was over, although she tellingly failed to reiterate any of the ideas they had come up with in the past as to how they would achieve this aim. Adam was sorrowful, but understood. He missed the food, sex and companionship in equal measure.
Warsaw Page 18