Oh shit! I realise that they are the photos that were taken the other night at the Italian we had been to, but as for swimming? That didn’t make sense.
“Mum? Pictures of me swimming? Where?”
“It says, I quote, ‘Elliott Tate finally enjoying a beach break with his latest beau, Jessica Ing, at the Hamptons’.”
Oh my God, this isn’t good! There are photos of us yesterday.
“Mum, I’m going to have to call you back. I’ve got to go.”
“Jessica Sarah Ing, don’t you dare hang up on me. I want to know what the hell is going on.”
I roll my eyes to heaven. God, she’s so annoying.
“It’s nothing Mum, I work for him that’s all. We’ve done some location shoots and had dinner together,” I lie. I can’t face her lecture on having a boyfriend and how I’m messing my life up.
“So you now do swimming makeup?” she asks in her patronizing manner.
For God’s sake, Mother, stop interfering.
“No Mum, just the normal. Elliott had suggested that we all take a weekend break as we’ve been working so hard. I haven’t been feeling that great and thought that it was a good idea. It was a nice thing to do.”
God, I hope she buys it.
“Oh, OK Jessica. Say hello to the others for me. I do hope you’re feeling better now, darling. Needless to say Henry’s seen the pictures. I think he deserves an explanation, don’t you? Sweetheart, if you’re missing home, please call me, I worry about you. Lots of love, darling, take care. Bye.”
“Bye, Mother.”
Henry’s seen the picture too. Shit, what am I going to do?
First things first, tell Elliott - then I’m going to try and Google the papers to see what I’m actually dealing with and after that I will phone Henry.
I manage to get the mail online up on Elliott’s iPad. She’s right, we are on the front page. Two big photos which are dominating the front cover, the caption reads “Is this Elliott’s Tate’s latest heartache?” One of the photos is us sat opposite each other at the Italian, we look deep in conversation but our hands are touching on the table. And the other photo is of us in the water yesterday. We are both stood looking at each other. Elliott has his arm around my waist, his hand resting in the small of my back. We’re talking face to face but the body language is evident.
I hear Elliott on his phone to Hudson, he’s arguing about what to do.
“Look Hudson, it’s tough shit if they think I’ve got a girlfriend. It is my private life and I’ll do what I want to do! I don’t get it. She’s a good girl. It would be great for my rep if we were together. No, no, Hudson you’re wrong about her. Look, I don’t care what you say she’s hiding, I trust her. No, I will try and limit the damage control as much as possible, but I’m not changing a thing. Let’s get one thing straight – she’s in my life and that’s it! Goodbye.”
He hits the end button and throws his phone onto the sofa. He looks so stressed. He runs his fingers through his hair.
“I’m sorry, Elliott, that I’ve caused you so much trouble.” I look at him.
He looks at me, but I can’t read him. He walks directly towards me and holds out his hands, I take them. He pulls me up from the chair and caresses my cheeks.
“Please Jess, don’t ever apologise for something that’s out of your control.” He smiles, placing a kiss on my lips.
I feel so ashamed; because I know that this is my fault and that’s why Hudson’s so angry with him.
Elliott notices my expression and pulls me close.
“Hush Jess, don’t let this upset you, please. Or is there something else?” he asks, so concerned.
How do I answer him? Maybe I should be honest and say yes, you’re right, it’s partly the photos and partly your fucking rapist agent!
I think quickly on my feet.
“The photos have gone back home already and I’m on the front cover of every paper. My mum’s besides herself, wanting to know exactly what’s going on in my life and how could I do this to Henry’s and my relationship - and to top it off, I now have to make ’that’ phone call to him!”
Elliott looks at me.
“But I thought you said you and him had finished?” he asks, looking really pissed off.
“We have, but I’m sure he’s going to be pissed at seeing me in the paper with some other guy, as I know I would be at him.”
“I hope, for your sake Jessica, that’s true. I told you I don’t like to share. People or possessions.”
I feel my mouth drop open. What the hell does that mean? I feel my stomach tightening – my adrenaline is pumping. That’s it, I’m sick and tired of being told what to do!
“Elliott, what the hell does that mean? Honestly? I’m not a child that can be told what she can and can’t do. We had split up and that’s all you need to know! As for sharing, I’m not a bloody possession and I’m not yours to share!” I spit.
The shock on Elliott’s face is classic, I don’t think he can actually believe someone has spoken to him like that.
“What I actually mean Jessica, as you so politely pointed out to me, is that I will not date someone who is already seeing someone else. Regardless of who they are. I have had that done to me and it is devastating! I ended up going into counselling for a few months due to it. I would not wish that on anyone else. I am also not a child and do not expect to be spoken to like that either. I suggest you go and sort your shit out with whoever you need to - then come back and find me. I am risking my whole career by being with you and I don’t think you realize the potential fallout this could bring. You owe me that, Jessica. I really like you… I think I’m actually falling for you. But I’m not prepared to wait for you forever to make a decision to who you want. You need to make it quickly before someone else does it for you.”
My adrenaline turns to emotion and my eyes start pooling with tears.
“Elliott, I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just tired of being told what to do by everyone. I really like you too please…in fact I feel exactly the same way about you.” The realisation that I may lose him fills me with horror.
The tears fall down my face as I watch Elliott pick up his things and stuff them into his bag.
He looks straight at me, but not acknowledging me in anyway.
What have I done? Have I jeopardised the one thing I want out of life?
Simon’s standing by the car and opens the door for me. As I climb in, he gives me a gentle smile. I think he can sense the atmosphere, and also the fact that my eyes are bright red from all the crying.
The car journey to the airport is a long and painful one. Elliott doesn’t utter a word until we finally arrive at the airport.
“I would appreciate it, Jessica, if you could do as I ask just this once?” he asks with a sarcastic tone. “I need you to go with Simon again. I will meet you on the plane this time. Simon knows where to take you. Is that OK with you?”
I don’t reply I just nod. I don’t want to antagonise him anymore.
I walk behind Simon as quickly as I can, through passport check in and straight through to the same private runway we arrived on. A similar plane awaits us, it’s the Lear 55. We stand at the bottom of the plane as the steps release. Yet again we are greeted by Britney the same stewardess as before.
I feel my stomach pulling at the thought of her flirting with Elliott again.
“Good afternoon, ma’am. Are you flying alone?” she asks concerned.
“No, Elliott will be joining us in a minute,” I reply.
Her face lights up at the news.
I walk onto the plane and sit in the seat I sat in before, wondering how long it will be until he arrives.
It doesn’t take long, I notice Britney preening herself, which is sure sign that he’s coming.
“Good afternoon, Mr Tate,” she gushes.
“Good afternoon to you, Britney, I hope you’re having a good day? ” he asks, kissing her hand. “Is Miss Ing on the plane yet?” He asks looking
around as he climbs on board.
“Yes, she’s seated, waiting for you.”
“Good. We’re ready then. You can tell the captain.” He walks straight down the aisle to the seat next to me and sits down. Not looking at me once.
I don’t know where to look, the bastard’s doing this on purpose. God, this is awful. I can’t possibly spend the next six hours like this. Two can play at that game - I’m going to have to do something about it.
His hand rests on his arm rest closest to me. I brush my fingers over it. I feel him tense but he doesn’t move his hand. I undo my seat belt and stand up.
“Jess, what the hell are you doing? We are about to start taxiing the runway. Sit down.”
I ignore him and place both my hands on his arm rests, supporting myself. I then climb onto his lap, so I am face to face with him. He looks amazed. I then place my head into his neck and start gently kissing him. I kiss up one side and then on to his lips, kissing him harder and more intense as I go. I move my hands to the back of his head and push him more into me. He kisses me. I feel him growing underneath my legs.
Yes, it’s working.
I feel a tap on my shoulder.
“Excuse me, madam, you need to take your seat immediately. We are about to depart. This is very dangerous.” She angrily asks.
I pull myself away from him and look at her.
“I’m sorry Britney, It’s just he’s…. so goddamn sexy, I can’t control myself!” I smile and clamber off him.
She glares at me and storms off.
“I get the feeling she’s a little jealous,” I whisper to Elliott, hoping that this has changed his bad mood.
I turn to look at him. He has that look about him – that sexy stare; I catch him looking me up and down.
“You’re a naughty girl, Jessica Ing. You’re going to get us both in trouble with behaviour like that!” he says so salaciously.
“I hope so, that was the plan,” I tease.
He leans over to double check I’ve put my seat belt on right.
“That’s better. At least you can’t jump me again!” he smirks.
The flight back is much better. Elliott was busy rehearsing his script for the coming week. I love watching him in action. He is a perfectionist, perfecting every word that comes out of his mouth. He really is very talented. I lean back against the cool leather chair and quietly watch him. I can see him looking at me through the corner of his eye.
“Enjoying the show, Miss Ing?”
“Absolutely, Mr Tate, there’s nothing wrong with a private viewing!” I tease. A wicked smile appears across his face.
“I could think of a better private show I’d prefer to see,” he replies looking me up and down suggestively.
I smile at him. “Sorry, I’m feeling tired all of a sudden.” I burst out laughing and so does he.
He leans towards me.
“It can wait, Miss Ing. It can wait.” He pulls my hand up to his mouth and gently kisses it.
I slowly melt inside. I close my eyes, so that I don’t disturb him anymore than I have to. My thoughts return to Henry and what I’m going to say to him on the phone. My initial reaction is to hide away until I have to go home. But I know that’s not the right thing to do. I have to speak to him and explain what’s going on. I know how I feel about Elliott, but that doesn’t stop me caring about Henry. I don’t think I will ever stop caring about him.
We arrive at the airport and Elliott reminds me of the routine I have to follow. I trail Simon straight through the airport to the car where we wait for Elliott.
The car journey seems really quick, I’m sure it’s because I don’t want the weekend to end. We pull up outside my house. I can tell Mia’s in as the lights are on. God, I’m dreading saying goodbye and then making that phone call.
“I hope you had a good weekend, Jess, despite our little conversation?”
“I did, thank you.” I don’t take my eyes off him.
“I will see you tomorrow?” he smiles.
“Tomorrow?” My heart flutters.
“Yes…at work - I hope you think about what I said, Jess, and make the right decision I really meant what I said earlier. I’m falling for you, big time.” He leans forward and places a kiss on my cheek. He lingers there for a moment, taking a deep breath and smelling my hair. It’s like he’s capturing the moment!
“I will speak to Henry tonight. I promise. I don’t want to lose you, Elliott, I really don’t.” I tighten my hold onto him, never wanting to let him go.
I hold my phone in my hand and find Henry’s number in Contacts. I go to push the green button but don’t. Shit! How can I do this to him? No Jessica, this is the right thing to do. No more hiding behind emails, I scold myself.
I push the green Send button. It has that out of area ring tone. It seems to take forever before it’s answered.
“I’m sorry I can’t get to the phone right now but leave a message,” his voicemails goes. I cut it off immediately.
Part of me is relieved and the other half annoyed. But before I have time to think my phone starts vibrating. Shit, it’s him.
“Hello.”
“Hello, Jessica, it’s Henry. You OK? You called?” He sounds fine - I justify in my head, maybe he hasn’t seen the paper.
“Hey you, I’m good, how have you been?” I ask my voice soft. Something inside me hurts. I’m not sure if it’s just the familiarity of him or the fact I’m going to break his heart.
“Busy, you know how it is Jess. Oh, thank you for the email.”
“That’s OK. I kept missing your calls. I didn’t want you to think that was ignoring you,” I laugh nervously.
“I know you better than that, Jess. I know you take your work seriously. Even though I didn’t say it before you left, I know it means the world to you. I respect that.”
Oh God, why is he being so agreeable? It would be so much easier if he reacted by shouting or something.
“Thank you, Henry. It means a lot.” I pluck up the courage to just ask him outright. “Have you seen the papers today, Henry?”
“I was wondering when you were going to mention them, Jessica?” his tone totally changes.
I laugh again, I can’t help it. It’s a nervous thing.
“I’m so sorry, Henry. Let me explain.”
“Please feel free to, Jessica, but there is no need to. As it says here, I quote, ‘Elliott Tate’s new beau, Jessica Ing, has been dating the star for two weeks now’, and apparently you’re inseparable?” his tone is so sarcastic.
“Oh Henry, I’m sorry. It’s all a load of rubbish. I’m not his new girlfriend. I just work with the guy. I’ve had to accompany him to a couple of charity do’s, but apart from that I don’t really know that much about him.”
I feel the guilt rising throughout my body. Jessica, stop lying to him. He deserves the truth; you at least owe him that, my sub-conscious scolds me.
“Really Jess, so there is nothing in it?” his voice sounds hopeful.
“Um…no, I’ve had dinner with him a few times and we get on really well. He’s a really nice guy. I’m sorry if this hurts you, Henry, but you deserve the truth.” God, I hate myself.
“Oh, I see…well what can I say to that, Jess?”
“I’m sorry, Henry,” I plead.
“Have you slept with him?” he asks.
“No…I haven’t, we’ve just kissed.” My cheeks flush red.
The phone is silent.
“Henry, are you still there?”
“……Yes,” he whispers.
“Where do we go from here then, Jessica? Is this my goodbye phone call?”
“I don’t know what to say, Henry. This wasn’t going to be a goodbye phone call, unless you want it to be?”
“Don’t you dare turn this around on me, Jessica? I’m not the one saying goodbye - or the one going off with someone else. I still love you, Jess, as much as the day I first met you,” his voice breaks. Tears stream down my face as I listen.
; “I’m so sorry, Henry, I never wanted to hurt you. I’m so confused. So much has happened in the last few weeks. I don’t know where to turn.”
“What do you mean by that? After you’ve let another man stick his tongue down your throat, I guess it is a tough decision!”
“Don’t be so crass, Henry. I’ve had so much to deal with, including being sexually assaulted,” I sob uncontrollably.
“What the hell? When did this happen? You never phoned to say. For God’s sake, Jessica, you should have told me.”
“I’m sorry. I know I should have but I’m trying not to let it take over my life. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, that’s all. Elliott’s been amazing helping me get through it, he even insisted on taking me to his doctor.”
“What the hell happened, Jess? Tell me.”
“It’s not important, Henry, he touched me – please, I don’t want to go over it again.”
“Do you want me to come over there?”
What? Oh my God, no. I don’t need him here causing me more stress.
“Jessica?”
“That’s very sweet of you, Henry, but no, I’m OK. I have Mia….”
“And Elliott?” he interrupts.
“Yes, to a certain extent.” God, I am such a bitch.
“So Jess-bear, where do we go from here?” - Jess-bear, he hasn’t called me that in years.
“I don’t know, Henry. I really am so confused about everything at the moment. I think the distance is a good thing. It will help me realise what I want.”
“You seem to be doing fine without me,” he adds.
“Don’t Henry, don’t end this on a negative. I’m just so glad we’re talking. I really do care about you. I never meant to hurt you. You do know that, don’t you?”
“I know you’d never intentionally hurt me, Jessica, but at this precise moment in time, you’re breaking my heart.
The tears flood down my face.
“It’s never been my intention to. I’m so, so sorry, Henry. Please. I’ll call you in a couple of days.”
“I love you, Jess-bear. Goodbye.”
“Bye.”
I push the red End button and feel my legs go underneath me - collapsing to the floor. I can’t contain the hysteria. I feel like such a cow. This man has just declared his love for me and I can’t respond. Oh my poor Henry.
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