I stand up and he throws his arms round me as if it’s some big gesture. Then he kisses me directly on the lips. I pull back instantly.
“What the hell, Henry?”
“Sorry, old habits die hard.” He smirks. This isn’t like him; he’s not that affectionate. There’s something wrong.
“You needed to see me ASAP, and now you’ve found me. So, what’s up?” I can’t contain the anger in my voice.
“I have something to show you. You’re not going to like it, but it’s better you know now before you get too involved.”
I stare at him nonchalantly.
“You’re being very cryptic, Henry,” Mia interjects.
“You never liked me did you, Mia?” he spits at her.
“Not much,” she smiles.
“Children, behave,” I exert.
“Hurry up, Henry. What is so important that you have to tell me now?” I’m worried in case the paparazzi find us.
He takes out a brown envelope from inside his jacket, unfolds it and pulls out a load of emails and a photo.
He hands me the photo and I glance over it. It’s not very good quality, but I can make out that it’s Elliott kissing Kirsten.
I take a deep breath and thrust it back at him.
“I thought you were better than this, raking up old photos of Elliott. I know they’re dated, for God’s sake.”
“Jessica, look at the date.” He points to the left-hand corner of the photo, and right where he points is yesterday’s date.
“How did you get this? You were at home yesterday.”
“No, Jess, I arrived yesterday. I had a man following him.”
How could Elliott do this to me? I knew he had been pissed at me but yesterday I was with him, maybe not until 9:00 but still. My heart feels like it’s been shattered into a thousand pieces.
I try and hold it together. I don’t want to give Henry the satisfaction of gloating.
“Is that it?” I bite at him.
“No Jess, I had his emails tracked, too.”
“What? Since when have you become an irrational, possessive asshole?”
He purses his lips into a hard thin line. “Since I heard you were fucking him!”
I feel my cheeks flush red. Shit.
I look at Mia. She gives me a gentle wink of encouragement.
“So let me see them then.”
He hands them over and there must be at least twenty-three.
I look down at the first one.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 2/4/12
Thank you for taking the time out for me last night. I can’t believe you still can make me groan like that! Xxxxxxxxxxxxx
I immediately flip over the paper to see the next one.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 2/4/12
My pleasure, babe. I had a good teacher!
I flick through a few more.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Date: 15/4/12
Can’t stop thinking about what I want to do to you. My dick’s hard just thinking about it. I’m coming to yours after work. You’d better be ready and wet for me!
Elliott Xxxx
I then flick to the two last sheets.
From: [email protected]
To [email protected]
Date: 23/4/12
I can’t wait. When are we going public? I can’t stand the thought of you with that dirty bitch. When is she back?
Xxxxx
From [email protected]
To [email protected]
Date: 23/4/12
She’s back tonight. I will tell her then. I love you so much. I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time…… Elliott xxxxxx
I can’t hold back the tears anymore; I collapse my head into my hands sobbing. How could I have been so stupid? I knew he was too good to be true. He had been playing me the whole time.
Mia stands up and walks over and rubs my back.
“Hush Jess, it’s OK…. Chick, don’t cry.”
“I’m sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Jess,” Henry mutters.
“Oh shut up, Henry, you wanted this to happen. Jess has always been too good for you!” Mia explodes.
God, the last thing I want is to be sitting broken hearted in front of him.
I dab my eyes with a tissue I’ve found in my pocket and try to pull myself together.
“I need to go, Mia.”
She nods.
“I can take you,” Henry offers.
I shake my head.
“I think you’ve done enough,” I smile through my tears.
“Hey Jess-bear, I’m still here for you. I always will be.” He smiles, giving me yet another hug. I stand ridged, not wanting an inch of him near me.
I grab the envelope with the photos and emails and we head towards the door.
Henry follows and watches us walk out.
Mia had ended up parking miles away from Starbucks, but I’m so relieved because it meant I could get some air whilst we walk. Luckily there’s no paparazzi around either to harass us on our way. As we arrive, Mia unlocks the car and opens my door for me.
I climb in feeling numb.
“So what are you going to do now, Jess?” she asks whilst joining me in the car.
I shake my head as the tears roll down my face.
“I don’t know. I have nothing now. He used me,” I sob.
“You need to see him, Jess. Show him the photo and emails. Make him realise he can’t treat you like that.”
She hands me yet another crumpled tissue.
Mia puts the car into drive but as she does she notices Henry coming out.
“Do you think we should give him a lift?”
I shake my head.
He crosses the road and heads towards a brand new black Mercedes.
“He’s got a nice car,” Mia enquires.
I don’t want to speak. I can’t stop thinking about the photo of him and her kissing. I need to think about what I’m going to do. How I’m going to deal with this.
Henry arrives at the car and the driver’s door opens. A tall, thin man gets out.
He shakes Henry’s hand and they stand and laugh for a moment, and then Henry walks around to the passenger’s side and gets in.
The driver turns around to get back into the car and I’m confronted with him. I’d recognise those disgusting features anywhere -., that tall, skinny frame. Shit, it’s Hudson.
What the hell?
“Mia, it’s Hudson. Henry’s with Hudson!” I shout. My breathing becoming so rapid, I can’t talk.
“Jess, calm down. Take a deep breath and 1…2…3…4…5…breathe.”
I manage to focus and start to control it.
“What the hell is Henry doing with Hudson? I can’t take anymore. Nothing makes sense. How? Why? Shit…I can’t take this, Mia. I have to get away from this screwed up place.”
Mia drives off as quickly as she can, hoping that they don’t notice. When we arrive home the paparazzi are still waiting there. Mia gets out first and opens the front door for me so I have a clear run. I head straight into the lounge grabbing a blanket on my way. I cuddle up on the sofa, wishing that the ground could swallow me whole.
My phone vibrates several times.
“Do you want me to get it?” Mia asks.
“No, thank you. They can all go fuck themselves!” I smirk.
“That’s my girl,” Mia smiles.
She makes us tea and cuddles up next to me on the sofa.
“You do realise, Jess, that you will have to do something about this though. You can’t just ignore them all for ever.” She holds my hand.
“I know, just not yet. I’m not strong enough. I feel like I want to run away from it all. Go into hiding. Not see or speak to anyone for at least a week.” I lay my head on her shoulder.
/>
She smiles.
“Well, if that’s what you need to do then that’s easy. Just go home. I won’t tell anyone. No one will need to know where you are and I’ll be back in a week and you can face it then. But there’s one condition, you have to speak to me every day so I know you’re OK,” She smiles.
“OK deal, bossy girl,” I smile.
Mia drops me at LAX airport. I look for First Class check-in. It was typical, the only seats they had left were in first class. Not only was I leaving America with a broken heart, I was also five thousand dollars down too. I sit in the First Class lounge, staring out the window watching the planes take off and land, trying not to think about the obvious. But something on the news catches my eye.
I stand up and walk over to the TV, but it’s not very loud so it’s hard to listen.
The reporter is standing outside Paramount Studios.
She announces, “Yesterday, at Paramount Studios, security was breeched. The only person that seemed to be affected by this was Elliott Tate. He lost control of all his personal information including banking and emails, etc. A spokesperson for Elliott said he was devastated that someone would hack into his personal life and violate him like that. The police have been involved but have found no evidence so far. The case continues.
Oh poor Elliott. I hope it had nothing to do with Henry. Then my subconscious reminds me of what the asshole’s done to me and I shouldn’t waste any of my feelings on him.
A loud voice reverberates over the speaker announcing that the plane is boarding. Well this would be the last time I’m standing here feeling like this - my heart broken and my little piece of heaven forgotten. I pick up my bags and head for home.
A few days pass and I manage to stay invisible. Mia checks in daily but it is getting harder to avoid my mother, though. She has rang and left several messages, emails and texts. She obviously has heard the news about me and Elliott splitting up; I guess Henry had told her. He has emailed me a couple of times but I wasn’t interested. Elliott has gone silent on me. He did leave a few messages at the start of the week but nothing in the last few days. I think Mia has told him already what I know. I bet he was relieved; he is now free to be with Kirsten.
Whilst flicking through my emails I see one from Claire, my agent.
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Re: Work
Hello Jessica,
I hope you’re OK. I’ve spoken to Mia!
I have another job for you next week in Cannes. It’s a premiere, just covering their press junket all week.
I hope you’re up to it.
Claire
Great, I really could do without meeting yet another load of pretentious wankers. But a job’s a job and I need all the work I can get at the moment. I have to pay off my flight home.
Secretly I’m pleased; I was worried that I wouldn’t be employable after my fling with Elliott. It wasn’t a clever career move on my part, something I think I will always regret. But I need to take this job. I can’t hide away anymore. My plan was to avoid all newspapers and magazines; I couldn’t stand to see another picture of the happy couple.
I decide it’s also time to reply to my mother. I can’t face speaking to her and hearing her say “I told you so”, but emailing her was an easy option. All I needed to do was tell her that I’m fine and that I would be away next week.
I run myself a bath and add lavender scent to it. It is supposed to have a calming benefit which I really need. I haven’t unpacked my stuff since I’ve been home. I rummage in my suitcase for my toiletries and, as I pull them out, my Rolex flies out and lands by my feet. I pick it up and look at it. It really is such a beautiful watch. Such a lovely gesture; I remember the note that accompanied it. I’m giving you time to think. I wrap it in my hand and hold it tight to my heart. How could he have hurt me so badly? I really thought he loved me. I look down at it one last time and throw it so it lands on my bed, whispering to myself, it’s time to move on, Jess.
I take off my joggers and put my dressing gown on. My bath is ready. I grab a glass of wine on my way into the bathroom, but as I’m pouring it I hear a knock at the door.
“Someone’s forgotten her keys!” I shout loudly as I head towards the door knowing Mia would find that funny.
I swing open the door to greet her…but it isn’t her. I stand back and drop my glass to the floor. As it hits the floor the glass shatters everywhere.
Elliott stands there leaning against the door frame. I grab the door and try to push it shut, but he holds it open.
“I need to talk to you.”
“Go fuck yourself!”
“Jessica, I’m not going anywhere until you let me explain.”
“Well, you will be waiting a hell of a long time then. I’ll call the police if I have to,” I threaten.
“We both know you won’t do that. Just let me explain, please.”
I give up trying to push the door against him. He is far too strong and could easily move me out the way if he wanted to. God, how dare he come here and make demands on me? What an asshole. I’m so cross at him, but that doesn’t stop me pining for the Elliott I fell in love with. He is still as hot as hell, any women would be at a disadvantage. I try to ignore the pull from my loins. This is one battle I need to win.
I walk off into the kitchen to get another glass of wine. Once I’ve poured it, I go and sit on the sofa, ignoring him.
He shuts the door and sits in the chair opposite me.
“My God, Jess, you look awful.”
“Well, thank you. You can go now.”
“I didn’t mean it like that. You’ve lost weight. Your face looks so gaunt.”
“God, you’re so good with compliments. Thanks.”
“I’m worried about you, do you not get that?”
“If you’re that worried about me, may I suggest that you don’t go off and fuck your ex? That may help!”
He holds his head in his hands.
“Is there anything else as I’m rather busy?” I spit at him.
He lifts his head up and looks at me.
“It’s not what you think.”
I just roll my eyes to heaven.
“You mean you can’t even think of an excuse? Get the hell out of my house now!” I scream.
I stand up and walk towards the door. He grasps my hand and pulls me back. I stand rigid glaring at him.
“Get your fucking hands off me! You’ve lost the privilege of touching me.”
He lets go immediately.
He stands up.
“Jessica, I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you. I love you.”
I laugh at him.
“Love me? Yes, of course you do. I like the way you show it. Nice!”
“Don’t be so sarcastic. You British and your fucking sarcasm!”
I return to the sofa and take a deep, long swig of my wine.
I look at Elliott.
“Is there really any point in you being here? You broke my heart, Elliott! Ripped it out of my chest and held it in your hands! I can’t come back from that. I wouldn’t be able to trust you.”
He sits back down and looks at me, his expression lost.
“I never meant to hurt you. It was a set-up.”
“What was, her forcing you to kiss her or the emails that talked about how happy you were together now you were back fucking her? What?”
“What emails are you talking about?” He genuinely seems to have no idea.
I walk into my room, gather the emails and photo together, walk straight back into the living room and throw them at him.
“These.”
He looks at the photo and then puts it to one side; he then reads the emails, one after the other. It feels like ages before he speaks again.
He shakes his head.
“Right, one thing at a time. The photo is genuine, I can explain that. The day you were due back, Kirsten asked if we could go for a walk on the beach as she had enjoyed my compan
y so much and knew that as soon as you were back I would be preoccupied. I couldn’t see anything wrong with that, so we went for a walk. It was quiet on the beach. The weather was overcast so not many people were down there. While we were standing watching the sea, Kirsten decides to tell me that she’s still in love with me and wants to try again.”
“Hang on. You’re supposed to be explaining this not justifying it! What next, you’re going to tell me her favourite position? This isn’t helping, Elliott!”
“Don’t be so stupid, Jess, let me finish. Where was I? Yes, she declared her love to me. I didn’t know what to say. I felt so embarrassed…I’ve moved on. I stood still and just continued looking at the sea. So to get my attention she walks directly in front of me and kisses me. I pushed her away immediately asking what the hell she’s doing. I told her that I was with you and she knew that and that I would never be able to be with her again, for one I’m in love with you and two she destroyed me the first time around. I would never let that happen again!”
I didn’t know what to say to him. My head was all over the place. He sounded genuine enough but he was a good actor, he could pull this off so easily!
“OK, say I swallow that load of bullshit. How do you explain the emails? They can’t lie.”
He runs his hand through his hair and brushes them down his face rubbing his unshaven chin.
“I don’t know anything about them honestly. I have never seen them before in my life. I can’t explain them because I didn’t write them.”
“And you really expect me to believe that? Seriously?”
He just looks at me and lifts his shoulders.
“Believe me, Jess, if I was lying I would have thought of a much better excuse than ‘I don’t know’? I really don’t know where they have come from. You have to believe me.”
He stands up, straightens his t-shirt and walks over to me. He kneels at the side of the sofa and reaches for one of my hands. He runs his other hand down the side of my face. I resist the urge to pull away. He looks directly into my eyes.
“Jessica, please believe me. I have had nothing sexual with Kirsten in the last two years. I never emailed her or anything like that. I don’t want to lose the most perfect thing that has happened to me in a very long time. Please, babe, if you’re honest with yourself, you want me as much as I want you…no, need you.”
Make Believe Page 19