by Mara Jacobs
Finn knew he should let the women know he was behind them, but he didn’t. Something stopped him from making his presence known.
“I guess so. Maybe she knew what she was doing. I have to tell you though, I was pretty concerned when she first told us about this master plan of hers,” Katie said, taking a sip of her wine.
“With good reason,” Alison said. “I mean, when your best friend says she wants to fuck an old boyfriend so she can test out her new body, I think concern is in order.”
The women sipped at their drinks as Finn thought about their words. He hadn’t realized that Liz hadn’t slept with anyone but him since she’d lost weight. It made sense, though, as shy as she had been about her body in the beginning. He found he liked the idea.
But something wasn’t right with what they’d said. Yes, Liz was getting used to her new body with him, but she hadn’t even know he was still in town until she’d run into him that night at the Mine Shaft, right? What did they mean “her master plan”?
A vision of one of her tablets, one she always quickly shoved back in her purse when he was around, came to mind. It was labeled “the plan” across the font in red marker.
The cool fingers of doubt swept across the back of his neck and he was just about to question the women when they began to speak again.
“Well sure, but what really bothered me was the whole sleeping with Finn only so she could be prepared for her relationship with this Davis Cummings.”
“Yeah, that was really unlike Lizard, I admit, but...”
Still stinging from the hit his pride had taken from Pete Ryan’s generosity, the words cut Finn to the quick. He whirled and started back to the main room, not hearing Alison finish her sentence.
The door slamming behind him alerted the women that he’d been standing behind them. They just didn’t know how much he’d heard.
“Oh shit,” Alison said.
“Ditto,” Katie said and the women rushed after Finn.
Chapter Twenty
√ Make Yooper baskets for athletes
√ Buy new dress
√ Make sure photographers are attending
He had to find Liz. Had to hear from her mouth that what her friends had said wasn’t what he thought. A niggling voice in the back of his mind kept telling him it was true. That it all made perfect sense.
There was no way someone like Liz Hampton would want someone like Finn Robbins for anything more than a good fuck. That’s what she’d come here for, and that’s exactly what he’d given her.
No, he tried to tell himself. She had told him she loved him. His Liz wouldn’t lie. She was good, and clean and honest. They were going to have a future together. He and Liz and Stevie and Annie would be a family.
But the voice that had continually reminded him who he was - who he would always be - plagued him. You’re nothing but the son of a drunk who can’t even provide for his own children. He swallowed hard and tried to shake the thought. No, Liz saw him for more than that. She saw him for what he had tried to be, for what he could be. She’d told him so.
Women lie. Women have always lied to you. Your mother. Dana. Now Liz. The only time she told the truth was in the beginning, when she said she just wanted a summer fling. Was everything else a lie? Especially the loving him part?
He found her in the lobby of the rec center, hugging some man he’d never seen before. Someone who had obviously just arrived. The guy was decked out in a fancy suit. Who the hell wore suits to a community dance in the Copper Country? A sliver of ice-cold dread shot through him.
This was him. This was the guy. This was who Finn had primed Liz for. The guy that was going to reap the fruits of Finn’s labors. The one who would have a life with Liz.
She saw him then, but didn’t seem to notice his fury as he stalked toward her. Probably too busy pressing herself against that asshole.
Pete Ryan was also in the lobby talking with a couple of guys in the corner. Finn recognized them as clients of Liz, had met them yesterday, but not following sports, didn’t remember their names.
When he reached her, Liz calmly turned to Finn and said, “Finn, I’d like you to meet Davis Cummings, a friend and colleague of mine. Davis, this is Finn Robbins. Finn is Annie’s father.”
Annie’s father? That’s how she introduced him to this Davis guy? Not even a token “friend” label?
Pride and fury waged a war within him. They both won out when he lifted his hand to Davis and said, “Davis Cummings? Oh yeah, you’re the guy Liz has been practicing for.”
Finn felt a twinge of gratification when he saw the shock on Liz’s face. She looked past Finn to see Alison and Katie entering the room with looks of horror on their faces. She was always sharp, so he wasn’t surprised when she quickly put together what must have happened. “Finn,” she started to say but was cut off by this Davis character.
Shaking Finn’s hand he said, “I’m afraid I don’t understand. Lizzie’s been practicing what for me?” Davis’ glance left Finn and searched Liz’s face with something that bordered on delight that she was doing something with him in mind.
The look sickened Finn and he lashed out. “She’s been practicing fucking, Davis. And she’s been practicing with me. It’s been quite a chore, let me tell you, but she’s finally getting pretty good at it.”
Complete silence filled the lobby. Pete stepped away from the two men he was talking with and moved toward Liz, seemingly coming to her defense. Jesus Christ, the woman had so many men willing to come to her, to help her, what the hell was he thinking that he could offer her any kind of life? He saw Liz wave Pete away, but the hulking man stood close by, ready and waiting.
“Finn, you don’t understand. That was before. My plan…things have changed, now.”
Her plan. The words were shrill to Finn’s ears. He grabbed for her purse and searched through it for the tablet he knew would be inside. There were several. He pulled the out one titled “the plan” and let her purse drop to the ground. He sifted through the pages until they came to rest naturally on the page that had seen the most use.
Several items were on the list, all but one checked off. Finn’s eyes zeroed in on the last line.
Find, fuck and forget Finn Robbins.
Images screamed at Finn. Dana’s young, pretty face underneath him murmuring it was okay, she was on the pill. Dana’s weathered face screaming she’d rage a holy terror if he didn’t hand over the money. His mother telling him she’d stop drinking and start being a better mother to Phoebe. And Liz. Cradling his face and telling him she loved him.
It was the last image that hurt the most, cut the deepest. For it was Liz who he trusted more than anyone. She was the nice one. The good one. The one who did for others. The cheerful giver, for Christsake. She’d come up with some diabolical plan to use him to satisfy her curiosity about her body, then go home to some designer suit-wearing douche.
And it would have been almost bearable if that’s all she’d done...slept with him once or twice, then went back to this asshole that stood beside her.
But she hadn’t done that. No, she’d slept with him for a month, pulling him deeper and deeper under her spell. She’d spent every day at the farm with his family. With his kids. God, she’d been so great with his kids. And it had all been just part of some plan.
The pain slashed deeper at Finn and he felt the overwhelming need to slash back.
He waved the tablet in her face. “And I thought you were too good for me! I actually thought I had to aspire to be the kind of person you were. So kind, so generous. So honest.” He practically spit out the last word, intending it to burn Liz.
It hit its mark. Liz stumbled back as if his words had been a physical blow.
She grabbed the tablet from his hands, saw what he’d been looking at him, and said, “It’s not checked off. IT’S NOT CHECKED OFF!” Her voice shook, pleading.
“Why not? You certainly found me, and we know how much often you fucked me, Elizabeth.” He dug in his back
pocket and came up with a pen. He took the tablet back from Liz and slashed a mark through his name. “It’s checked off NOW!”
He threw the tablet down at Liz’s feet. He had to get out of here. Thank God Gran had already taken the kids home. He couldn’t bear to go back into the festivities and hunt around for them. There was no telling how many people knew about Liz’s little folly. Was he now the laughing stock of the Copper Country? Would he become known for his stud services for out-of-town visitors? He started to leave, then thought of something, and turned to Liz once more.
“Just one last thing. You are on the pill, aren’t you?”
Dumbfounded, Liz nodded.
“Good. At least that’s one thing I don’t have to worry about.” She tried to reach out to him, but he pulled away from her. “Handle all the fundraiser and foundation stuff through Margo. I don’t want to see you again.”
Seeing the crushed look on Liz’s face just about brought him to his knees. That he hurt so badly for her even after knowing what she’d done to him made him want to hurt her even more, and he knew just the target. He turned to Davis and said, “ Good luck, man. Hope you like it with the lights off.” He heard the strangled sound come from Liz, but he couldn’t face her.
He walked past her and out the door of the rec center.
Lizzie didn’t turn around to watch him go, nor did she need to see his reflection this time to know that he wanted to get as far away from her as possible.
She stood silent, not believing what’d just happened.
After a moment, a lifetime habit of putting other people at ease caused her to look around at the stunned faces in the lobby. Putting a smile on her face she said, “Don’t worry, everyone. Just a simple misunderstanding. Nothing to worry about. Why don’t we all go back into the dance?”
She started to move forward but Alison and Katie each took an arm and swung her around, heading outside. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Petey step forward and take Davis’ arm, leading him into the rec center, the other men following.
Outside, Katie placed her arm around Lizzie’s shoulder and Alison stepped in front of her, tilting Lizzie’s chin up to look her in the eye. “Not this time, Lizard. No laughing this off, or pretending it didn’t happen. You were just barbecued in there. Feel it, Lizzie.”
Lizzie started to say something. To make light of it. To make a joke of some sort. To brush her friends aside and tell them they were making something out of nothing. She started to say all of that.
What came out instead was a sob of pain so deep it rocked her entire body. It was the type of soundless cry that babies made before they could get out a substantial wail. Her shoulders shook and she struggled for breath. When her lungs finally filled, she was able to get sound out. The cries took her friends by surprise. But only for a second, then they recovered and began comforting Lizzie, leading her to Alison’s car.
Lizzie wasn’t sure how they got her home. She was vaguely aware of Alison driving and Katie following in Lizzie’s SUV. Good. She sure as hell didn’t want to return to the rec center the next day to get her car.
They were in her bedroom now. She stripped off her dress. The dress she was so proud of. The one that had lit Finn’s face up so brightly only hours earlier. Was that tonight? Time seemed out of proportion to her.
She crumpled the dress up and threw it in the corner, causing Katie and Alison to look at each other. Lizzie stepped into some drawstring gym shorts and the largest tee shirt she could find, then hunted for her bathrobe. Finding it, she wrapped its generous material around her twice, and pulled the belt tight. She moved to the bed where her two best friends sat and laid down between them.
“Let’s call Domino’s,” she said in a quiet voice.
Katie and Alison shared a look of panic. What to do now? If this was any normal breakup scene, they would of course call Domino’s and Little Caesars, and take a run to the nearest convenience store for six or seven pints of ice cream.
But they couldn’t do that for this break up. That would send all the wrong signals to her. That hurt could be healed with food. There was no way Alison and Katie would start any sort of downward spiral for her.
She knew the spot she’d put her friends into. “I’m just kidding,” she said. She could feel the sigh of relief that emanated from them. But Lizzie knew she wasn’t kidding. She knew that more than anything she longed to forget about this horrid night with a little help from her friends. And she didn’t mean Katie and Alison. She meant her pals like Ben and Jerry. Her buddy Poppa John. And of course, the woman who knew all her secrets, Sara Lee.
She cried on their laps for an hour. They stroked her hair and cooed words of comfort to her.
“Isn’t anyone going to say ‘I told you so’?” she asked.
“About what, honey?” Katie asked, rubbing Lizzie’s back.
“That my plan was stupid to begin with, and how you both saw it blowing up in my face from the start.”
Alison and Katie looked chagrined. “Well, since we’re partly responsible for it blowing up in your face, we don’t have much of a right to say ‘I told you so’, do we?” Katie gently said.
Lizzie waved her hand, a blanket forgiveness. She knew that she should have been honest with Finn the minute their relationship turned serious. Should have told him why she’d come to town. That she had intended on getting together with Finn from the start. That showing up at the Mine Shaft had been no coincidence. That it was originally to be nothing more than a summer fling, but now she was in love with him and desperately wanted a future together.
It was her honesty, her integrity, that Finn valued most, and she’d betrayed that. She couldn’t blame her friends for her omission.
“I told you so,” Alison said. Katie punched Alison in the arm, but Lizzie only laughed. God, how she loved these women.
Finally, she told her friends to go home, that she was okay, and she just wanted to get some sleep.
Her friends looked skeptical, but she convinced them to leave.
The second they were out the door, Lizzie threw off her robe and grabbed her sneakers and car keys. She intended to drive straight for the convenience store at the other end of Hancock. The only place that would be open this late. Instead, she felt the Navigator head for Houghton. It was if she had no control over the vehicle as it headed toward the Robbins’ farm.
No. No. No. She wouldn’t beg and grovel at this man’s feet. Memories of that long walk back from Houghton years ago when she’d gone to see Finn at the theater after he dumped her came raging back. Did she really want to humiliate herself that way again?
She wouldn’t have to make that decision because Finn’s Jeep was not in the driveway at the farm.
Where was he?
She headed back to Hancock, going through town, past the turn up to her parents’ place. Back toward her original destination of the convenience store. When she got to the store she drove past, not even looking into the window. Not sure she could take the temptation of seeing the shiny glass freezer doors knowing what treasures lay behind them.
Lizzie drove on to the beach. She hoped to see Finn’s Jeep there, but the gates were chained shut and there were no vehicles along the road. She parked the truck, grabbed two blankets from the back and slowly walked to the spot where she and Finn had always gone. Laying one blanket on the ground, she wrapped herself in the other and sat down, hugging her bent knees to her chest, staring at the lake, letting its softly swirling waves lull her. It did its magic, as the water, and the Copper Country, always did.
She achieved such a sense of calm she almost half expected to turn to her left and see Finn lying beside her, one arm under his head for a pillow, the other thrown over his face.
The sadness struck her again. She lay back on the blanket, rolled up into a fetal ball, and tried to hear the water lapping over her sniffling.
She awoke some time later shivering from the cool air, amazed that she’d been able to sleep. Gathering the blankets, she ma
de her way back to the Navigator, all hopes gone that Finn might show up at their special place.
The clock on her dash read four fifteen. It was pitch dark as she drove through Hancock, not seeing another single car on the road. She reached Bob’s Mobil and put her blinker on to turn up the hill, when she saw something that made her screech into the gas station’s lot and slam on her brakes.
Up on a ladder resting against the marquee, dressed in pajamas, was Bob, in the midst of changing the Bible verse.
His pickup truck - or what Lizzie assumed was his truck - was parked right next to the sign. Lizzie saw how it all must play out. Bob would wait nearby in his truck until no one was out, pull up, quickly change the sign, and drive off, obviously going home and back to bed.
Lizzie was dumbfounded. She’d seen the “Changing of the Verse”! She couldn’t wait to tell Alison and Katie. She rolled down her window as she pulled the Navigator alongside Bob’s truck.
He looked down at her from his ladder. What a pair they made. Bob in his pajamas perched high on a ladder and her still wrapped in her blanket, red eyes puffy from crying.
“Lizzie,” Bob said, with a nod.
“Bob,” was all she could say, returning his nod.
She started to say more, but stopped when she looked at the verse Bob was in the midst of assembling. It was the Corinthians verse that was often read at weddings. So far Bob had posted “Love is Patient. Love is...” He hadn’t finished yet, and she found she didn’t want to see him complete his task. She knew how the verse went of course, but she kind of liked the way it stood now. Love is…fill in your own blank.
She powered up the window and drove home, knowing she would never mention to anyone what she’d just witnessed.
Finn spent the night driving aimlessly for a while, then found himself at Eino Ruotala’s farm twenty miles outside of town. Eino was whom he had sold his horses to. The barn where the horses were stabled was unlocked and Finn quietly made his way down to the stalls that held his beloved animals. He had only done this once before, a few weeks after they’d been taken away. He hadn’t allowed himself to come back since even though Eino, understanding his loss, told him to stop by anytime.