Lorelei turned her head to me then and laughed. “You don’t need to worry about that because you are already pretty.” She looked back at the makeup, picked up a flat little compact and sat down on the bed next to me. “Close your eyes.” She commanded.
I closed my eyes and felt her gently brushing a finger against my eyelids. She stood up again for about thirty seconds and then sat back down. I kept my eyes closed. She softly brushed some more eye makeup in large sweeping motions that started at the inner corner of my eyes and ended at the edge of my eyebrows. Then she took what must have been a small tipped thing and drew a line across each of my eyelashes.
“Okay, open your eyes and look straight at me.” She said. When I opened my eyes she brushed mascara across my eyelashes a few times. Lorelei cocked her head a little to the side and smiled at me. “You look lovely. But,” she stood up and walked over to her dresser. “You need a little finishing touch.” She brought over a small round crystal bottle of pink perfume in one hand and a hair brush in the other. “Take your hair down for a minute.” I looked at her, confused. “This is a little beauty secret I learned along time ago.” I pulled my hair band out of my braid and shook out the plait until my hair hung loose. Lorelei sprayed the hairbrush with perfume and handed it to me.
“I brush my hair with this?” I asked. Lorelei nodded. I slid the brush through the strands and the smell of sugary smell of vanilla and jasmine settled in my hair. It was delicious. “When did you get this? It’s dazzling.” I breathed in the scent of my own hair before putting it back into my braid.
“John bought this for me last Christmas. I don’t wear it as often as I should.” Lorelei inhaled the heavenly scent. “Give me the brush; I’m going to wear some tonight, too.”
I hugged Lorelei and left. After gathering my jeans jacket and purse from my bed, I quickly made my way downstairs. I hadn’t even left the last step when I heard Tristan’s voice. “Who’s got perfume on?” I froze. I was not trying to draw attention to myself tonight. Play it cool. You’re just meeting Emily for a movie. She was a friend I went out with once every few months so it wasn’t a far-fetched lie. But it was still a lie.
“Where are you going with perfume on?” Suspicion hardened Tristan's voice. I feigned intense interest in my cell phone as Tristan stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “Sophie?” I looked up at my twin. He wasn’t smiling.
“I’m going to the movies with Emily.” Was I actually stuttering? I wasn’t any good at lying. Or sneaking around.
Tristan must have believed me. He moved out of my way and his tone softened. “You look really nice.”
Guilt weighed down my stomach. I had just lied to two members of my family and for what? A stupid date with a human? This wasn’t me at all. It was as if someone else had taken over my body. This person was calling the shots – recklessly abandoning sense and deceiving those I loved most. I didn’t like her very much. Yet I was more than willing to let her lead me astray.
As I traipsed through the woods, the quickly guilt faded away into nothingness. All thoughts turned to Jaime. Before long, the center came into view. I pulled the band out of my braid and shook my hair loose. A few deep breaths and I was ready to go. I wasn’t a nervous as I thought I would be. Until I saw Jaime was standing by his Jeep, that is. His back was to me since he was keeping an eye on the road and not the woods.
“Hey!” I called out as I wormed through a few low-slung branches at the edge of the trees.
He spun around at the sound of my voice. “I thought you’d be driving.”
I shook my head. “It’s not that far.”
He looked puzzled. “I thought you said you lived a few miles away from the research center.”
Whoops.
“Um… I’m an avid hiker.”
“A hiker, huh?” He smiled and opened the passenger side door for me. “I hope you’re hungry after all that walking.”
“Actually, I’m starving now.” I admitted and got in. Jaime climbed in the other side and we headed toward town.
“Do you like Italian food?” Jaime asked.
“I do.” I watched out the window as the trees flew by us. “Italian and Chinese are my favorites.”
“Great! I found an awesome Italian restaurant in St. Mary's.” He glanced my way and winked. “I assumed you wouldn't mind eating somewhere other Kane.”
“Not at all.” I sighed with relief. Nobody would see us, no one would know. This night would be my little secret. A single memory for me to tuck into my folder of life experiences.
“So Italian tonight and maybe Chinese next time?”
“Sounds good.” I murmured, though I reminded myself that there really wouldn’t be a ‘next time’.
“So back to hiking. Do you have a favorite trail?”
“Not really. I usually just go wherever. What about you?”
“I'd say the Tionesta trails simply because the area hasn't really been touched by the logging industry.” He gestured to the dense forest on either side of us. “But in truth, the whole National Forest is my stomping ground. I'll take any excuse to go camping and get outdoors.”
For most of the drive Jaime spoke on of his love of camping, fishing, and hiking. The words were simple but the fiery emotion behind them was incredible. I assumed, being a Wildlife Ranger, that he had a higher level of appreciation for the natural world. But to hear him speak of colorful wildflowers and napping under the shade of a black cherry tree lit something deep inside me. I rooted to my seat. I absorbed every philosophy and idea he presented, like a flower basking in the last rays of the fading summer sun. Eventually it would be over and I would have to let him go.
By the time we arrived at the restaurant, dark was approaching.
“No meat?” Jaime asked after I ordered simple alfredo pasta without chicken.
“I’m a vegetarian.” I explained. Sort of.
“Oh.” Jaime looked a bit surprised. “I can’t go without steak.”
I nibbled on the inside of my cheek; my dietary restrictions were not a topic I really wanted to discuss.
“You know, my family isn’t from around here.” Jaime changed the subject.
“Where are you from?”
“We are originally from right outside of Concord, Massachusetts but we moved to this area when I was in fifth grade. My dad got a job as a manager at a logging company. He retired from the company a few years ago and my parents moved back up north.”
“I’ve never been to New England but I hear it’s beautiful, especially in fall.” I said, a little envious. I never really left northwestern Pennsylvania, other than the few trips to Philadelphia to visit Thomas at college.
“It is. Some of my favorite memories from childhood involve playing in the fall leaves. The trees there turn such vivid reds and golds that the mountains actually look on fire. It’s truly breathtaking. I think that’s one of the reasons why I love it here so much, you know? My childhood in New England really helped shape who I became.”
“Why did you stay here if your parents moved back?”
“I was a freshman in college. I knew I wanted to work in wildlife conservation and around here is the perfect place to be for my field. Plus, I just really loved this area. I know Kane is small but I feel a connection to this town, like this is where I'm supposed to be.”
“Hmm.” I nodded and fiddled with my napkin corner. Could he be any more perfect?! I thought miserably. This was supposed to be awkward and uninteresting. Yet, sitting here talking to Jaime was just so…easy. Be realistic Sophie. This can’t happen. Remember that. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him for fear that my resolve wouldn’t hold.
“Massachusetts is a great place though. Not going to knock my home state. The rocky beaches are quite breathtaking. And Boston? I bet you would love that town.” Jaime continued unaware of my inner discord. “They have some amazing nightclubs. And the Irish pubs have some of the best food you’ll ever try.”
“I’m really no good in a cit
y.” I dismissed him, still refusing to meet his eyes. “They freak me out.”
“I can see why. If I had grown up around here, I would probably feel the same way.” He took a bite of food. After swallowing he let out a small, reminiscing laugh. “My mom had the opposite problem. She spent years complaining that this area felt constricting. Like the trees were prison bars. Mom still can’t understand why I love it here.”
“Yeah, I don't ever plan on leaving. I can't imagine making anywhere else my home.”
“It also helps that you all of your family here.”
“True.” I sipped my glass of water.
“Thomas has said that your family is really close.”
“We are very tight knit. It makes it hard sometimes because everybody knows everything.”
“Well, not everything.” Jaime leaned in toward me ever so slightly. “I don't want Thomas to think I'm trying to seduce his sister and steal her virtue.”
I cracked a smile at his comment. “I don't want that either.”
“In all seriousness, I have an immense amount of respect for your brother. He has accomplished so much at the center. He has this way with animals; he understands them. And they listen to him.” Jaime scooped up his last bite of steak. “Like Dr. Doolittle without the goofy dialogue.”
I squirmed in my seat. Mercifully, the waitress appeared at my side and began clearing our table so there was a rather long break in the conversation while we waited for the check.
We drove back to the research center again with a fair amount of quiet. The strangest part wasn’t that we weren’t talking non-stop but that the silence wasn’t uncomfortable. I was contemplating the lack of apprehension in the air when Jaime pulled into the research center parking lot.
“Listen, I just want to throw something out there and I want you to answer honestly.” Jaime put the Jeep in park and turned toward me. “I’d like to see you again. You know, just spend some time with you. Maybe try to break through that somewhat shy exterior.” Jaime paused. “What do you think?”
“I want to Jaime but I….” What am I doing?
“But what?”
“My family has…rules.” I finally looked at him.
Jaime leaned close enough to whisper in my ear. “I won’t say a word. Scout’s honor.”
I don’t know how it happened. One minute he was leaning forward and then…. It should have been just a kiss. Lips meeting and parting, a taste of tongue, maybe a hand in my hair. Standard issue kissing. Text book even.
But it wasn’t. The jolt of electricity which ran from my head to my toes whenever I was close to Jaime came to it’s blazing conclusion as his lips touched mine. It was protons and electrons colliding mid-air in an enveloping cloud. It was an epic particle battle in which all positives and negatives exploded and then turned neutral upon detonation. An explosive joining of energy at the sub-atomic level. Tangible. And Incredible.
Then as we gently pulled apart, it just stopped. The charges in the air separated once again, returning to their previous state. Was I the proton or the neutron? Did it really even matter? What occurred in that moment was something I could never have predicted. I was no longer Sophie, I was simply elemental.
Somewhat unsteady, I opened the door to get out when Jaime stopped me. “Hold up! I'm not sure I should let you walk home. Can’t you call someone to pick you up? It’s pretty far to be walking in the woods alone, don’t you think?”
I shrugged. “There’s nothing in these woods I’m afraid of.” The rare, true wolves all but bowed down to me when I encountered them, even in human form. Bears would stop to watch me in deference. Even mountain lions, which have very aggressive natures, simply ran off any time I came close. They wouldn’t have dared attack unless intentionally provoked. That was a stone-cold fact.
“Do you at least have a flashlight?”
I pointed to my purse even though it was a lie. I didn’t need a flashlight to find my way home.
“Seriously, I think I should drive you home.” Jaime’s voice notched up an octave with worry. “There are huge wolves in this forest.”
I smiled. “I’ll call you tomorrow Jaime.” I shut the door and made my way into the pitch of night.
“Just making sure u r home.” Jaime’s text flashed on my phone.
“@ home & will call ASAP.” I hit send and snapped my phone shut before walking into my house.
Our living room was usually bustling with bodies and laughter as my family came together at the end of long work days and this night was no different. Tristan had languidly stretched himself out the length of the couch, a book propped on his chest. Gavin, John, Will, Granddad, and Kylin were playing a card game around our small corner table. Through accusatory shouts and guffaws of laughter, it came out that Will had tried to cheat and Kylin caught him in the act.
“How many times do I have to tell you all ‘Don’t play with Will. He cheats!’ But you don’t listen to me.” Mom chided them as she sat, nestled in an armchair, hurriedly working pink yarn on knitting needles.
Curled up on the floor, with her back against arm of the couch, Lorelei nursed LJ while instructing Ethan on changing a diaper. “You put it on backwards.” She giggled.
Ethan inspected the diaper lying across Nina’s belly. “It looks right to me.”
“Try attaching it, genius.” Lorelei giggled again. Ethan gave the diaper a once over glance and, irritated, turned Nina on her side. “Oh.” He said, flipping the diaper around and securing the Velcro properly.
“Have fun?” Mom glanced up from her knitting.
“Yeah, it was nice to get out and reconnect with an old friend.” The lie slipped out as easily as a greased wheel.
I hung out with my family for less than a half hour before retiring to bed. Or so I said. Once in my room, I dialed Jaime’s number and turned the volume down to its lowest setting.
“So I wasn’t eaten by any bears.” I laughed as Jaime answered.
“Good because I want to see you again. As soon as possible.”
“Not playing it cool, then?” I laughed again. Or was it a giggle? The kiss had made me more than a little delirious.
“Nope. Games are not my style.” He paused. “So when are you free?”
“Well, I work almost everyday next week until five. But any night after work…”
We chatted for close to an hour before finally hanging up. After brushing my teeth and hair, I pulled on my cotton pants and cami to go to sleep.
I was in no state to sleep though. I tossed and turned, relentlessly switching between elated recalling of the night’s events and terrified imaginings of the future. My want for Jaime was countered by the need to keep my true existence a secret. No matter how many times I tried to reconcile the two, they never quite came together. Everything about Jaime made this decision difficult. He was a good person, I didn’t doubt that. But would it be enough? Even if it were enough, what end could come of this? He was a human and me, a werewolf. That distinction separated us by a harsh veil of secrecy and fear. I wanted to be with him but I couldn’t deny that doing so would be an incredible act of selfishness. Did I dare defy my pack and our rules just to be with him?
One thing was certain: something happened when we kissed. Somehow our individual futures became entwined just as our lips had been. Whether it was for good or bad, I didn’t know. By the time I felt my body drifting into sleep, I didn’t really care. I mentally raised my white flag and surrendered. There would be no fighting this. To an unknown future I would move forward willingly. And it would be mine.
~Undercover~
Mom called up the stairs to me. I pushed aside my MP3 player and opened my bedroom door.
“Did you say something Mom?” I called out.
“I was hoping you might be going into town today. I need a few things from the grocery store but I have to do canning.” The days which Mom did her canning were some of the craziest in our house. Canning made the kitchen a sweaty and steam-filled miserable place. Latel
y Mom was enlisting Kylin and Ethan to assist her. Even though their homeschooling finished by early June, Mom insisted that their ‘education is never done because they need to learn how to keep house.' I was always glad it had to be them and not me.
“Sure Mom. Just make me a list.” I slipped on my ballet flats and pulled my hair into a low ponytail. After taking a twenty out of the grocery money jar in the kitchen, Mom slipped the list and cash into my hand.
“Take the car because the milk will spoil in this heat if you walk.” She said and waved me off, looking more than a little frazzled from the workload of canning with two grumpy fourteen year old boys.
I cranked up the AC as soon as I started the car. Little prickles of chill danced across my arms as I made my way down the winding roads of the National Forest into Kane. We were having a heat wave here in the Icebox of Pennsylvania, so named because the weather tends to stay cooler than anywhere else in the state. At least to us, a week straight of 97 degree whether is a heat wave. I turned up the volume dial for my sad little radio and hopped back and forth between stations hoping to find a song to match the mood in my car. Most stations seemed to be between playlists. Commercials for laundry detergent, a used car sales event, a news broadcast about a missing hiker in the National Forest, another commercial. Finally I landed on a station playing one of my newest favorites, an energetic song about summer by the latest pop group. Twisting the knob as far as it would go, I sang along to the chorus.
I pulled into the grocery store, list in hand, and regretfully killed the engine but not before putting each window all the way down. With this weather the car would be blistering hot within minutes. As I headed from the scorching heat into refreshing chill of the store, I grabbed a basket and set out to find the items on my list as quickly as possible.
After paying, I headed toward the entrance when the automatic doors swung open before me and in stepped Jaime with Thomas by his side. There was a split second before they saw me in which I considered running to hide but the moment was gone as quickly as it came.
Howl Page 4