by Vivian Wood
“How’d you meet?” Faith asked.
“College,” he said with a laugh. “I went to UGA, no surprise there. It wasn’t so different than what I was used to. But she was totally out of her element. This loud New York Jewish girl with wild black hair and a tendency to get into trouble with that mouth.”
“She sounds fun,” Faith said.
“She was,” Alex admitted. “And that was exactly what drew me to her. Hell, we were nineteen when we met. Engaged before we graduated. She hated that. How all her friends teased her about going to college in the South and ending up with her MRS degree. But me, I didn’t care.”
“When did you get married?”
“Not long after graduation,” he said. “It was a whirlwind of a summer. She and I, I think we both just rode on the excitement of it. We were both still kids. Neither one of us had ever lived outside our parents’ places or a dorm room. She had a trust fund, but just for college, and I had a few scholarships and some money from work-study and summer jobs. Felt like we could do anything.”
“I remember that feeling,” Faith said. “Doesn’t last long enough.”
“You know what’s funny? I don’t even remember the wedding,” he said with a little laugh. “When I think about it, it’s like I’m watching or remembering a movie about someone else. I remember her sister going berserk over everyone callin’ her ma’am. Thought it meant she looked old.”
Faith laughed. “Well, those are New Yorkers for you.”
“I told her sister, y’all better get used to it. That southern charm’s bound to trickle down to the kids. And Rebecca. She gave me this look when I said that. Even in that wedding dress that cost more than my car at the time. Like the thought sickened her.”
“That . . . that must have been hard,” Faith said. They stepped over a beached piece of driftwood in sync.
“I dunno. I tried, you know, to pretend that it was just the stress of the wedding. Or the drinking, or maybe I imagined it all. But I saw it. And that . . . I don’t think that was the first red flag. It was just the first one that smacked me in the face.”
“What were the others?”
He sighed. “Well, the little indiscretions. Ones I should’ve spotted as huge red flags way back.”
“She cheated on you? Like, before you were even married?”
“Wasn’t that simple,” he said with a shake of his head. “In college, there were all these times with gray areas. We’d be off at times, or it would all be under the guise of some stupid game.”
He saw Faith stumble a bit with the “stupid game” comment and rushed to cover it up.
“I mean, I told her I didn’t care. That spring break was a free-for-all, long as it was everything but. And I let it slide when she’d make out with her sorority sisters. Knew she didn’t go that way, and it was all for attention. But, hell, I don’t know. Maybe I should have just walked away. I should have,” he repeated. “I should have just walked away.”
“We all make mistakes,” Faith said gently. “And love makes us stupid.”
“That’s the thing, though,” Alex said. “I don’t . . . I don’t know if it was love. I mean, hell, she was my first.”
“Your first?”
“My first everything,” he said.
“Oh. So in high school? You didn’t—”
He let out a laugh. “I’m not trying to be rude, but you never saw the girls that went to my high school,” he said. “First of all, there’re so few kids on the island, my graduating class was a whoppin’ twelve people. And three of ʼem still live at the inn.”
“Whoa, seriously?” Faith said.
“Good amount of home schoolin’ round here,” he said. “But yeah, the island’s tight. The few girls that were around, well they were more like sisters. We all experimented, but it was innocent. A kiss here or there.”
“And in college?”
He shrugged. “I made out with a few girls. But I met Rebecca freshman year. We were official by sophomore year. What can I say? I was faithful to her.”
“That’s hard,” Faith said.
“Yeah, well. Like I said. Lookin’ back? I don’t think it was love. Not full love, the real deal. Puppy lust or infatuation, maybe. But after college? I’d figured she gotten any flirtin’ outta her system.”
“And she didn’t?”
“Turns out, no,” he said as he let out a breath of air. “I . . . I don’t know how many times. Maybe it really was just the once. Or the one guy. That’s what we fought about the night she died.”
“Jesus,” Faith said. “How did you—”
“Find out?” he asked. “Wasn’t hard. Not like she hid it. Hell, for all I know, she wanted to flaunt it.”
“Why would she do that?”
“I reckon because she was unhappy,” he said simply. He’d never said it before, but it sounded right. “We both were. She just was the one who acted out ʼcause of it.”
“And you didn’t suspect anything before? Even with her flirting with George?”
“Not really,” he said, and mulled it over. “At least, not as much as I should have. And not in the right way. Earlier, I’d catch her flirting and drag her away. Felt like a caveman. And then we’d get into this whole circus act. We got pretty good at it, I have to admit.”
“That doesn’t sound healthy,” she said.
“Far from it!” he said with a laugh. “But it was familiar. You know? And comfortable. We both knew our roles. Though, I gotta admit, I wasn’t totally innocent in all of it.”
“Oh?”
“I mean, I never cheated on her. Never even flirted with anyone else. That’s just not me. But I buried myself away. I ignored it, unless it was just so damn obvious I couldn’t. Tucked myself into work, kept myself busy. Just lookin’ for a distraction.”
“That’s no excuse for someone to cheat. Especially when they’re married,” Faith said.
“I know, but still. I coulda handled it better. Even after we were married, I was just so scared of admitting it was a mistake. To anyone, myself included. I just . . . I just wanted it to work.”
“I think that’s common,” Faith said. “A lot of people get stuck in bad marriages because of that.”
“Yeah, well. Count me among ʼem,” Alex said.
“Alex.” Faith put her hand on his arm to stop him. “Just so you know, I’m not her.”
He looked down at her, with those big green eyes framed by lush lashes. Her face shone in the moonlight. Before he could question himself, he leaned down and kissed her. She responded as if no time had passed since they’d been in his bed.
Alex wound his arms around her waist and felt the heat from her body in his palms. She opened her mouth to him and his tongue found hers. Faith’s hands wrapped around his neck, and he could hear her breath quicken. He started to kiss his way down her neck. The scent of her perfume was addictive.
Suddenly, Faith broke free and took a step back. “We have to stop,” she panted.
“But why?” he asked, though he knew the answer.
“You need to figure yourself out,” she said quietly, though it wasn’t cruel.
He nodded and looked to the waves. After a moment, he heard her soft feet in the sand as she headed back to the trail alone.
You need to figure yourself out, he repeated the words to himself. Maybe so. And maybe, if and when he did, something greater than he ever fathomed would be on the other side.
Chapter 24
Faith
It was impossible to sit at that breakfast table and pretend like the conversation on the beach hadn’t happened. But apparently, that was exactly what Alex expected.
“Another flapjack, dear?” Mama asked.
“I’m stuffed,” Faith said as she refilled her mug of coffee. “Thank you, though, Mama. They were delicious.”
“Uh huh,” Mama said. “Not too stuffed to pour more of that slick oil down your throat, I see.”
“Mama!” Caleb said with a laugh. He happily pile
d another stack of flapjacks onto his plate and drowned them in syrup.
“What?” Mama asked. “I just tell y’all things for your own good. That stuff’s addictive,” she said. She picked up her own cup of morning tea. “Tea’s good for you.”
“Not with all that sugar you put in it,” Caleb said.
“Hush, now,” Mama said. “There’s nothin’ wrong with sugar.”
Alex seemed morose and picked at the dry squares of protein bread coated with a thin layer of sugarless jam. He’d already torn through the bacon and egg whites Gwen had cooked up. “How you gonna call all that fat healthy?” Mama had asked.
“Protein,” Caleb had said at the same time as Alex. Alex had just given him a look of warning.
Once Mama and Caleb finished breakfast, Faith still worked on her coffee. It didn’t look like Alex was going to move, either. What kind of standoff is this?
Faith snatched up a stack of design magazines she’d picked up in Savannah and started to flip through them. “That’s nice,” Mama said as she wiped up the table. “That house needs a womanly touch.”
“Well, design is still a long ways off,” Faith said. “But I like getting ideas.”
“What style you like?” Mama asked.
“I’m thinking French country. A touch of shabby chic, you know, but balanced with a little midcentury modern. Some living edge pieces, maybe.”
“I don’t have a clue what you just said. But I’m sure it’ll be real nice.”
Caleb busied himself in front of the fridge, where he packed up some of the berries from the U-Pick farm up the road. “Hey, Caleb?” she asked. “You busy today?”
Alex glanced up at her but looked away.
So that got him curious.
“Not much,” Caleb said. “Why, what’s up?”
“I was wondering, maybe we could go for a ride around the island today? It seems like good weather for it.”
“A ride?” Caleb asked. He popped one of the blackberries into his mouth. “Sure, we can do that. On the boat, you mean?”
“Yeah,” Faith said with a smile. Alex finished his toast in two bites.
Caleb looked at Alex, opened his mouth but snapped it back shut. The last thing Alex looked like he wanted to do was get on a boat.
“You ready?” Faith asked.
“Now? You wanna go now?” Caleb asked.
“Why not? Looks like you’re packing a boat-friendly picnic anyway.”
“Well. Yes, ma’am,” Caleb said. He tipped an imaginary cowboy hat at her.
“Cool, I’ll meet you out front. I just want to get my sunblock.” She winced at the memory of the sunblock on Alex’s sandbar. But that seemed like so long ago. And as if it were with a different person, too.
Caleb was still in the kitchen when she traipsed down the stairs.
“Come on,” she said.
“Guess we’re goin’,” Caleb said.
“Y’all have a real good time,” Alex said. His tone was like ice. Why do you care? Faith wanted to ask.
Caleb held the truck door open for her, and she climbed inside. “I’ve never been in—”
Caleb flipped the ignition and the truck roared to life. “You’re gonna have to wait till we get to the dock,” he called to her. “Can’t hear nothin’ till then.”
It was the first time she’d sat in silence with Caleb. It’s nice, she thought. Faith watched him maneuver the big truck Mama kept around for island errands with ease. The hair on his arms had gone white from the summer sun. The blond on his head had lightened dramatically, too, offset with the natural Georgia tan.
Caleb pulled up to the boat dock and killed the engine. The sudden silence was overwhelming. As she climbed out of the truck, the sounds of birds chirping and fish splashing in the water could be heard.
“There’re no sharks, right?” she teased Caleb with a grin.
He just raised his brow at her and untethered the boat. Caleb held his arm out to her to help her in.
“Thank you kindly,” she said in a terrible southern accent. “What’s wrong?” she asked Caleb when she got no response.
He sat across from her in the boat and pushed off. “You wanna tell me what’s goin’ on?” he asked. Any flirtatious act was gone, and he fixed those blue eyes squarely on hers.
“What do you mean?” she asked. She was thankful for the sunglasses perched on her nose. Caleb kept his tucked into his shirt.
“You know what I mean,” he said. “Y’all been acting off for days.”
“Who has?” she asked.
“Playin’ dumb don’t work on you,” he said. “You and Alex, who else?”
“Oh,” she said. Faith looked at her hands cupped in her lap. “You noticed that, huh?”
“Helen Keller would notice that.”
“Caleb! I think that’s wrong.”
“Don’t change the subject,” he said. Caleb picked up the vintage oars from their storage bin. They were kept perfectly polished but were rarely used. Most of the time, he fired up the engine.
Clearly, this is going to be a long—and serious—discussion. “Sorry,” she said softly. “I don’t know. I mean, how much do you know?”
Caleb shrugged.
“Alex and I, we . . . it’s that obvious, huh?”
“Nah,” Caleb said. “I was exaggeratin’ a bit. It’s not obvious to everyone, but it is to me. Lee and Matt, I think they’re oblivious.”
She noticed he didn’t say one way or another about Mama. “So if you know that he and I are . . . were . . . whatever. Why have you been so flirty with me?” It was awkward to get that question out. There, on that still water where she could still see all the way to the bottom, it was all cards on the table.
Caleb grinned at her. “ʼCause it drives Alex nuts when I do. It was fun to watch, for a while.” Caleb looked into the distance. “But now? It’s gettin’ painful. It’s not a game no more.”
Games. Always back to games. She wished she could have taken back that night at the bar with the stupid pool table. Or do I? Maybe it wouldn’t have started otherwise.
“So what gives?” Caleb’s voice broke into her thoughts.
“Well, since you don’t want to tell me how much you know, we were intimate. Okay?” She blushed as she said it, but surely Caleb had figured out that much.
“Wait. Y’all had sex? I thought . . .”
“You thought what?” she demanded. Shit. He hadn’t known.
“I mean, I thought all this was over a kiss.”
She turned bright red. “A kiss?” she asked.
“Well, yeah. That night at the bar.”
“Yeah, no,” she said. Faith tucked her hair back behind her ears. She didn’t know what to do with her hands.
“Man,” Caleb said. He shook his head in wonder and stared into the water. “He must be really gone on you, then.”
“What? Why?” she asked. “I mean, not that I’m the most experienced person in the world, but this isn’t normal behavior. How he’s acting.”
Caleb chuckled. “Maybe not for most. But it is for Alex. I swear, I heard him say at least a hundred times, he wasn’t never gonna get as strung out over a woman as he did with Rebecca.”
Rebecca? Was Caleb really comparing her to Rebecca? “I don’t—”
“Now, hold on. I’m not comparin’ you to her,” he said. “I’m just . . . I haven’t seen him like this since then. Since those years.”
“Oh,” she said. Faith nibbled at her lip. “Is that good? Bad?”
“Guess it depends who you ask, ma’am,” he said. That glint in his eye was back, and she was grateful. She could only take Serious Caleb for so long.
“Look, I don’t want to get up in y’all’s business. Or tell you what to do, but—”
“Tell me!” she said. “Please. God, I could use some direction.”
“If direction’s what you’re after, I’m afraid I can’t help you.”
“Oh,” she said sadly. “Then what? What were you going to te
ll me?”
“Just don’t hurt my brother.”
“Hurt him?” She was shocked. First Mama, now Caleb. Do they think I’m some kind of heartless bitch?
“He’s done been hurt enough. Had plenty o’ heartbreak in his life. And, well, he just doesn’t deserve anymore,” Caleb said. He shrugged and put his sunglasses on. “That’s all.”
Faith was silent. They’d drifted farther from Saint Rose than she’d realized. From here, it looked so peaceful. You’d never imagine it is some kind of sex trafficking hub. Is?
“Don’t think on it too much,” Caleb said quietly.
She smiled at him. He is worried about his brother, that’s all. Same goes for Mama. But is that what’s happening? Am I causing Alex heartache? That was the last thing she wanted.
“And just so you know, I know you aren’t like Rebecca.” Caleb shivered when he said her name. “Not that that says much. There’s nobody like her. Thank the Lord,” he said.
She gave a soft laugh. “You disliked her that much, huh?”
“Hated her. Don’t look so surprised! Southern boys can hate,” he said. “And it wasn’t just after the first time I heard about the affairs, neither.”
“The first time?”
“Who knows how many times she did. Or how many times it got out or Alex told me. But way before then? I knew she wasn’t no good,” he said.
“Really? How could you tell? Why didn’t you say something to him?”
Caleb let out a belly laugh. “Say somethin’? To Alex? You think anyone could change his mind or even get him to listen more than a second once he’s got his mind on somethin’? I might as well have been talking to the moon.”
“Okay, you got me,” she said. “He certainly comes off as stubborn.”
“That’s a light way a puttin’ it,” he said. “But you asked how I could tell? Now, if I’m honest, I didn’t even meet her in person till their senior year. Right before they got engaged—”
“Really? No holidays or anything?”
He shook his head. “I went to Ole Miss,” he said. “I was young, wild, stupid an’ selfish. Holiday breaks were the best times to party,” he said. Caleb leaned forward and stage whispered to her. “Not much faculty or staff round to keep us outta the girls’ dorms.”