“I’m not quite sure what you expect of me, Nadine,” I said honestly, but without animosity. “I can’t give you the absolution you’re seeking.”
“I think I’m just looking for someone to listen,” she said sadly. Nadine had always put on such a happy face for the town, but between the night of the viewing and the morning at the cemetery, I was starting to believe it had all been an act. “I don’t have any friends, Josh.”
I did feel sorry for her then because I couldn’t imagine my life without my friends, especially Meredith and Chaz. We had been through so much together and came out on the other side stronger than before because we always had one another. Regardless of the mistakes, she had made, I wouldn’t wish loneliness and misery on her or anyone.
“Never mind. It’s not your problem, Josh. I’m sorry for dumping this on you.” Nadine spun around and walked off before I could respond.
I blew out a frustrated breath and headed for my car. I felt anxious and restless as I drove away from the cemetery. I didn’t want to go back to the salon because I wanted some quiet and time to regroup. I briefly thought about going to Gabe’s and stomped that notion down as soon as it formed. I decided to enter the back door of my salon and take the back stairs up to my living quarters so I could avoid the salon clients. My staff would see my car parked behind the house, but they’d respect my privacy.
I curled up on the couch with Diva, my Siamese cat, whose personality matched her name perfectly. Normally, Diva was all about herself. She must have sensed my somber mood because she tucked herself under my chin and purred in what seemed like an attempt to comfort me. Diva’s ministrations worked too. The chill that had permeated my body disappeared and I could feel myself relax on the couch until I eventually fell asleep.
My ringing phone woke me up. I was disoriented because it had grown dark while I napped on the couch with Diva and I momentarily forgot what day it was. I looked at the caller ID and was shocked to see who was calling me. I debated on letting it go to voicemail for about two seconds before I answered it.
“Hello?”
“How are you doing?” Gabe’s deep voice warmed parts of me that no amount of purring from a cat could affect.
“I’m doing okay,” I replied. Was I?
“You feel like having company?” I heard the slight hesitation in his voice as if he wasn’t sure how well his question would be received.
I knew what happened almost every single time that we were alone together. Was that what I wanted right then? “Yes,” I said answering both of our questions.
“Good,” he said, his voice deepening because he also knew what would happen. “Come down and let me in.”
“You’re here now?” I stood up and ran my free hand through my hair in an attempt to smooth it into place.
“Yes. Come down here and let me in. I’m freezing my nuts off,” Gabe groused.
“Give me a few minutes,” I said and then hung up. I flipped on a few lights on my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I rushed through my routine so that I didn’t keep him waiting long. It was freezing outside, and I didn’t want his balls to freeze. I was pretty fond of them, even if I was unsure of the man they were attached to.
“It’s about time,” he said when I opened the door to him. “What the hell took so long?”
I grabbed him by the coat and pulled him into me, pressing my lips against his. Gabe parted his cold lips, and I slid my tongue inside to explore his warm mouth in a languid kiss. For once, I didn’t want to rush him into bed. I wanted to take my time and get to know his body better. Hell, I hadn’t even wrapped my lips around his big cock yet; a mistake I planned to rectify immediately.
“Minty fresh,” Gabe said when our kiss ended. “You’re forgiven for making me wait.”
“Come upstairs with me, and I’ll show you other things I can do with my minty fresh mouth.” I laughed when Gabe growled playfully. I needed to be careful, or else I’d start liking the detective and the things he made me feel.
THERE WAS SOMETHING COMPLETELY different about Josh when he took my hand and led me up the stairs to his living space. He almost seemed happy to see me, and that wasn’t something I associated with Josh. There was a flirty lightness to him that I had never seen before and it was a welcome change over the sadness I saw etched on his face at the funeral home. My desire to drive away his sadness may have overridden my common sense.
Of course, my dick focused solely on what he planned to do with his mouth. I adored his mouth and not just the sheer beauty of his full lips and the oral delights they offered. It was his smart, snarky words that held my attention or the vulnerability that he accidentally let slide out on occasion. He was a mystery that I longed to solve, but I wasn’t sure the result would make me happy. I could wind up falling for a guy who might never feel the same.
Josh turned to face me once we reached the top of his stairs. “You’re thinking too hard,” he said, a sly grin spreading across his face. “We can’t have that, now can we?” He reached down and cupped my growing erection through my jeans.
“No, we can’t.” I always felt like I was tiptoeing around him, even when it came to sex. I felt like he held back pieces of himself in reserve too. That just wouldn’t do. I reached down and stroked him through the dress pants he was still wearing from the funeral that morning. I felt his reaction to my touch as he hardened and lengthened against my hand. “Part of you likes me.”
“That’s some good sleuthing you’ve done there, Detective.” Josh released my cock and started walking backward, crooking his finger as he went so that I would follow.
“Some clues are more obvious than others,” I gestured to the way he strained against his pants. “Others are subtle, like the way your nostrils flare when I’m near you, or the slight pink flush of your skin. The smell of your soap gets stronger when your body heats up.” Josh stood in the middle of his bedroom looking at me with dazed eyes. I advanced on him, pressing my body flush against his. “Your body tells me just how much you want me, even if you don’t like me.”
Instead of crushing my mouth against his like I normally would, I cupped his face in my hands and slowly lowered my mouth to his. I was grateful that I did because I felt the slight tremble of his lips as our flesh met. It was another sign of how badly he wanted, or even needed, what I offered him. I wasn’t foolish enough to think it was me he wanted. Not yet, a hopeful voice inside my head whispered.
Josh gripped my biceps tightly, and I couldn’t tell if it was to hold me there or hold himself up. Either way, I liked what it symbolized. I took my time swirling my tongue around his and pulled back slightly each time he tried to take over the kiss. I knew he wanted to speed things up and get to fucking so he could throw me out, but I wanted to savor this side of him.
I kissed him with every ounce of longing and passion he made me feel as I maneuvered us toward his bed. Every time we were together, I expected the sexual intensity to fade a little bit, but instead, it seemed to grow in leaps and bounds. I started to worry that I might become addicted to the things he made me feel.
I made no move to lower him to the bed once I had him pressed up against it. I was plenty happy to keep kissing him longer, but Josh had other plans. He dropped his hands to my waist and began unbuckling my belt before he slowly worked each button out of their hole. Once he had my fly open, he teased the length of my erection with the back of his hand. Suddenly, all I could think about was his mouth wrapped around my cock, but I wasn’t the kind of guy who just shoved a man to his knees and started fucking his mouth.
I reluctantly broke our kiss so I could pull my shirt over my head then I reached over and began loosening Josh’s tie. Once I removed it, I held it in my hands between our bodies and pulled it tight a few times, as if I was testing the strength. Josh took the tie from my hands and tossed it to the floor.
“Not tonight,” he said. His words caused the breath to catch in my throat. I couldn’t keep the image of him lying prone on his bed with hi
s hands tied above his head out of my mind. Was that something I even wanted? I never had before, but I was in unchartered territory with Josh. “Ahh, I can see that I lost you again. That’s terrible for my ego, so I need to correct it immediately.”
My heart rate tripled as Josh lowered himself to his knees. I felt the heat of his breath through the fabric of my boxers as he placed kisses on my hardened dick. I told myself to be patient, to not be a jerk and press my cock against his mouth, but he made it so hard to be good. I felt my abdominal muscles tremble beneath the skin when Josh pressed his lips to my bare flesh just above my waistband. I clenched my fists to keep from grabbing him then I closed my eyes, tilted my head back, and fought for control over my rioting body.
Something about Josh brought out a primal need to claim and possess, to mark him as mine. The feelings were new and almost startling at times because of their intensity. I didn’t take Josh to be the kind of guy who liked the caveman routine, so I struggled to contain it. Once I had myself under control, I looked back down at the beautiful man in front of me; I didn’t want to miss a second of the pleasure I knew he was going to give me.
Josh seemed happy to torment me by delaying the moment his lips wrapped around my cock. He ran his fingers through my happy trail, dipped one inside my waistband to spread my pre-cum around the flared head of my dick, and then sucked that finger into his mouth. The happy little sound he made in the back of his throat told me he liked the way I tasted on his tongue.
Finally, my little tormentor eased my jeans and briefs down my legs until they hung around my ankles. I was fully exposed to him while he remained fully dressed; I found the contrast to be outrageously sexy. My hands twitched with the need to touch him, but I was letting him set the pace. Josh did something I didn’t expect from him; he looked into my eyes as he fisted my cock and guided it toward his mouth.
Eye contact during oral sex was extremely intimate; hell, not even Kyle did that during the years we were together. Josh was a guy who said he might not even like me, but he chose to lock his gaze with mine while he gave me head. My thoughts were befuddled as I tried to figure out if perhaps there was more behind his gesture, but then all thoughts disappeared when his mouth drew closer.
Josh slowly parted his lips, prolonging my torture as I waited for him to take me into his mouth. Instead, his tongue snaked out and licked all around the head of my dick and dipped into my slit to capture more of my essence.
It was all I could do not to push my dick inside his mouth because waiting to be inside him felt like a form of cruel punishment. My legs began to tremble with excitement and need. I nearly shouted with pleasure once he took pity on me and wrapped his lips around my dick then sucked it into the wet heat of his mouth. I couldn’t keep my hands to myself any longer. I placed both hands on the side of his face and caressed the skin around his mouth with my thumbs, feeling the way he stretched to accommodate my girth.
Josh took his time acquainting himself with my dick by slowly working it in and out of his mouth. It was a great testament to my patience to let him when what I wanted to do was take control. I didn’t want it to end too soon so I let him set the pace that he wanted, knowing that I’d take control once I had him pinned beneath me on his bed.
Josh’s mouth felt so damn good on my cock. He used the perfect amount of suction and the right pace as he took me to the back of his throat over and over. He changed up the pace every few passes and even stopped to tease my head with his tongue. Josh released my cock with a wet popping sound then moved lower to suck one of my balls into his mouth, then the other. When I felt the wet rasp of his tongue on my taint, I knew it was time for him to quit before I passed the point of no return.
I slid my hands beneath his arms and hoisted him to his feet before I grabbed the top of his dress shirt and yanked hard, rending the material, and sent buttons scattering to the floor. The look of shock that crossed his face was almost comical. Did he find it that hard to believe that I could want him that much? I wrapped one hand around his neck and pulled him into me for another searing kiss while I worked his pants open with my other hand. I couldn’t ever get enough of his mouth when we were together. I only broke the kiss so we could divest the rest of our clothes before we got on his bed.
I slid between his parted thighs and pinned his hands above his head, holding him hostage, as I devoured his lips. I loved the feel of his bare cock against mine and began to thrust my hips, building up a delicious friction aided by the copious amount of pre-cum seeping from my slit. I didn’t know what it was about Josh that made me want him so badly and I didn’t care. What I did care about was making our time together count; I wanted him to crave more of us. I wanted to leave a lasting impression on his soul.
Josh pulled back from our kiss and looked into my eyes. I saw a myriad of emotions there, but the one that struck me the most was fear. I knew he wasn’t afraid that I would hurt him physically, I’d rather die first than betray the trust he showed me. The fear told me that he liked me more than he wanted to and it worried him; I worried him. I didn’t know many things about Josh Roman, but I instinctively knew that he would require action from me to prove my worth, not talk. And damn if I didn’t want to be worthy of his trust in all aspects of his life.
I released one of his hands so that I could cup his face with all the tenderness he made me feel in my heart. He wasn’t the only one floundering around with new feelings. I saw him struggle to accept my gesture and could almost see the wheels in his brain turning as he tried to guide us back into more comfortable territory for him. I knew that I should let him, but I didn’t.
Instead, I kissed a path from his ear to his jaw then nibbled the sensitive flesh there just beneath the jawbone and relished the way he shivered. I began placing kisses down his neck to his collarbone with the intention of making my way to his cock. I loved the taste of him on my tongue and wanted to experience it again, but Josh wasn’t feeling very patient with me.
He snaked his fist through my hair and yanked my head up hard. “I want to feel you inside me. Now.” I saw in his eyes that his tolerance for tenderness had passed. He slid out from beneath me so that he could open the drawer of his nightstand and remove the items we needed.
I poured the lubricant on my fingers and teased his pucker, watching his frustration grow as I didn’t do exactly what he commanded. I anticipated the exact moment he was going to make more of his demands and slid my finger inside of him at the same time he opened his mouth. “I… oh, fuck!”
I kept the pad of my middle finger on his prostate, working it in circles to stimulate him and drive him wild. He wasn’t always in control, and he needed to know that starting right then. Not one to give up easily, he began thrusting his hips trying to get more penetration from me, so I removed my finger from his tight clench. Josh’s lips curled up in a frustrated snarl that I longed to kiss off his face, but I was too focused on getting him ready for the fucking he wanted so badly.
Again, I waited until he was ready to blast me verbally before I penetrated him again, but with two fingers that time. “Damn you,” was all he said before his eyes nearly rolled up in his head. “I can’t stand you.”
I couldn’t help myself; I had to chuckle just a little bit about that one. Josh might’ve been more convincing had he not been grinding himself on my fingers and gripping my biceps so hard that I would wear his fingernail scores on my skin for days.
“Asshole,” he sneered, but his lips quipped up in a quick half-smile.
“I’m all up in there,” I said, purposely misunderstanding what he said. I emphasized my physical location in his body by pressing against his prostate with both fingers, causing his back to bow off the bed. He was so fucking responsive to my touch, and it made me want him that much more.
I removed my fingers from his ass, earning a snarly growl from him so that I could suit up. Josh snatched the condom packet out of my hand and ripped it open with his teeth before he sat up and reached for my cock. Once he had
the condom rolled on so that it snugly gripped the base of my cock, he smeared more lube up and down the length of my erection.
“I like it hard and wet.” Josh climbed out from beneath me and got to his hands and knees so that his ass was up in the air invitingly.
Whether it was another attempt to avoid intimacy or not, it was a temptation that I couldn’t ignore. Josh wanted it hard, so I decided to give it to him harder than he’d ever had before and would not stop until he lay beneath me in a boneless heap. Hard, however, didn’t mean cruel, so I allowed time for him to adjust to my penetration before I set out to give him what he had demanded of me with his body and words.
I gripped his hips tight and pounded in and out of him, the sound of our skin slapping together was music to my ears. The needy moans coming from Josh spurred me on, and I thrust hard enough to push him down flat on the bed. I followed him down and covered his body with my own, careful to keep most of my weight on my forearms as I kept up the furious pace of my fucking.
“Do you feel me everywhere?” I asked Josh. I didn’t want to be the only one who felt that way. When I was inside him, it felt like he was a permanent part of my body; an inked tattoo on my soul that marked me for life.
“Y-y-yes,” he confessed in a pleasure induced stutter. “E-everywhere,” he echoed.
I rode him hard, tagging his prostate with every slam home. “You’re going to come so hard for me, Josh.” I knew the added friction of the comforter against his cock, as I thrust long and deep inside him, was driving him out of his mind.
“So hard.” His words sounded slurred as if he was drunk on the pleasure I gave him.
Dyeing to be Loved (Curl Up and Dye Mysteries, #1) Page 15