I missed her. She was the first person in my life who ever kept the promises she made to me. I could talk to her about anything, and she was almost always on my side. And when she wasn’t, she explained her point of view in a way so that I couldn’t hold it against her. Often she was right and I was wrong and she was careful to never come out and say that, but to slowly guide me over to her side of things. She was a good woman.
I could tell her about this. I could tell her what was happening between Killian and I and know that she wouldn’t judge us. I knew she would be honest with me and tell me what I should do next. Without her, I had no guidance, no one to tell me what to do and how to do it. I had to make choices on my own, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that yet.
I was twenty-two, and I wasn’t ready to be a grown-up yet.
Even though I thought I knew what I wanted to do, I was just…had I done the right thing? Was this revenge right? Was I ruining everything, or was I fixing a wrong, righting the balance of right and wrong?
I wasn’t sure. When I looked at Killian, I lost my perspective. But when I thought about Davis…how could it be wrong? Someone had to pay for what happened to him. And what better payment than destroying the man who killed him and, in turn, destroying the man who put him up to it?
Brian would never forgive me for what was about to happen. And, in that, we’d be even.
***
“You could call in sick.”
I groaned. “I called in sick on Friday.”
“So maybe you haven’t recovered. Your foot is still pretty sore, isn’t?”
“This is a high-turnover business, Killian. They’ll fire me and a hundred wanna-bes will be lined up around the block to take my position.”
He leaned forward and kissed me, his lips lingering on mine. “Is it so bad that I want you with me every second of every day?”
“No. But we can’t live off like this alone. Besides…” I blushed. “I don’t think it’s physically possible to do it much more without something medically embarrassing happening.”
He laughed, a soft sound against my lips. “There are other things we could do.” His eyes sparkled with the possibilities. And he kissed me again, and I was almost lost.
“Killian…”
“We have so much time to make up for, baby. All those years when I didn’t think it would ever be possible for you to feel the way I felt.”
“Felt?”
“Feel. Will always feel.”
He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me higher onto his lap, his erection pressing seductively against me. I groaned, pretending I wasn’t prepared for another go round despite the fact that my belly fluttered with need at just that simple touch. I moved my hips just right, and he slid inside of me, nestling there like he always belonged there. He groaned, his hands gripping my ass, tugging me where he needed me, moving me against him until those waves of pleasure began to rush up and down the length of my spine.
Despite my protests, it was late before we finally pulled ourselves away from the solitude of the bed sheets and made our way back to the city.
“Stay with me,” I whispered against his lips when he kissed me goodbye.
“If I do, you’ll never go to work tomorrow.”
“I’m beginning to think that doesn’t really matter anymore.”
He groaned, but he did follow me inside, wrapping me in his arms as we fell, exhausted, into bed.
Revenge was coming. But was there anything wrong with enjoying myself a little before that?
Chapter 12
Killian
She actually smiled when she saw me standing at the coffee pot. She came over and slipped between the counter and me. Her lips, freshly covered in gloss, slid over my chin.
She didn’t seem to mind when I kissed it off.
“Valentine’s Day is coming up,” she said softly this morning, sliding her hand under my t-shirt. “We should go down to the farm house for the weekend.”
“Are you sure you can spare the time?”
Her eyebrow cocked. “I’ll make the time.” She kissed me again, then slipped away, gathering her things.
These had been the best three weeks of my life. I couldn’t imagine anything better.
We sat together on the train as we’d fallen into the habit of doing, whispering to each other. She liked to make guesses about the relationships of the other people on the train. We made a competition of it. She owed me three steak dinners and a hundred bucks so far.
We were careful in front of her building. Sara knew that she was my sister. We didn’t want to raise any eyebrows by kissing in front of the building. It was hard to watch her walk away, but it was always a pleasure to watch her walk away.
This day was like all the others. I settled in the diner across the street, pulling out my laptop and running through some of the PR releases my department was running back in Boston. I normally did this at night when Stacy was safely tucked into her apartment, but now that we had other things to do at night, it seemed more practical to work during the day. I had the software on my phone that told me where Stacy was every second, so there really was no reason for me to be parked in front of her building, anyway.
MCorp was solid, as always. There’d been no new acquisitions in the past few months, but that was because the company was still dealing with the changes that came when we bought up that pizza franchise months ago. That was good, good for me. Less to worry about back at the office. I was anxious to get back there the first few weeks I was here, but I was beginning to settle into the routine of telecommuting. And after the last few weeks with Stacy…I thought I might be content to remain here for quite a long time.
I was watching Stacy and a few of her coworkers cross the wide sidewalk in front of their building as they found a bench to settle on and share their lunch. She was laughing at something someone had said. I didn’t like how vulnerable she seemed, but I was glad to see her so relaxed. The first week or two here, she never left the building, never really interacted with anyone else. But now…it was great to see her slowly returning to the girl she once was.
Ian always seemed to know when the perfect moment came to interrupt me. My phone buzzed, and his familiar voice slid over the miles to me.
“How’s New York, brother?”
“Big and noisy.”
He laughed. “Then you’ll be happy to learn that Pops has decided the threat against Stacy is no longer credible. He wants you to come home.”
Stacy laughed at that moment at something someone near her said.
Fuck!
***
I was lost in my own thoughts on the ride home. Stacy held my hand and never asked. She knew me well enough to know not to push me. I appreciated that, but I sort of wished she would ask. I needed to get this out; I needed to explain things to her before other things got in the way.
We lived together now. Neither of us saw the point in me keeping my room across the street when we spent every night together. There was already some college kid living in my room, playing loud music and leaving beer bottles on the front stoop of the elegant building. It annoyed me, but I tried not to let it get under my skin.
“I asked for the time off, and they gave it to me, so we can plan our trip.”
“What?”
Stacy glanced at me as she kicked her shoes of and tossed them into the bedroom.
“Valentine’s Day,” she said. “It’s a Sunday this year, so I asked for the Friday before and the Monday after off. That way we have a four day weekend.”
Valentine’s Day. That was this coming weekend.
I wouldn’t be here.
“I have to go back to Boston, Stacy.”
She was in the middle of unbuttoning her skirt, shedding her work clothes in favor of the comfortable yoga pants she wore around the apartment. She straightened, staring at me across the living room from where she was still standing inside the bedroom door.
“You’re leaving?”
“Ian calle
d this afternoon. Pops wants me back.”
“Why?”
“Things have cooled off there. He hasn’t gotten any more threats from the people who took Brianna, and he thinks that they probably were never going to hurt you. He needs me back at MCorp.”
“No, he needs you back to help him protect Jack’s illegal activities.”
“Stace—”
“Why else? All he’s ever cared about is his work with Jack. Bringing guns and God knows what else into the country to make the streets of Boston that much more dangerous. Selling drugs and—”
“Stop it, Stacy,” I said, crossing to her in just a couple of quick strides. “You can’t just talk about it like that.”
“Why? Are you afraid the cops are smart enough to bug my apartment? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if they were that smart, Pops would have been in jail long before I came to live with the family.”
“I have to leave tomorrow morning. Do you really want to argue about this?”
“You don’t have to go.”
My eyes narrowed as I regarded her face. “You know that’s not true.”
“What hold does he have over you? Don’t you have a mind of your own?”
“Of course I do!”
“Then why? Why don’t you stay here with me?”
“Because I have a life there. My home is there, my job.”
“Oh.” She turned away, storming into the bedroom. “So you were only here with me because Pops told you to be. And now that he doesn’t want you here, it’s done? You don’t want me anymore?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“Stacy, this has nothing to do with us.”
“It has everything to do with us!” She spun around, tears rolling in heavy drops down her face. “You’re leaving me.”
“Come with me.”
She laughed. “I’m sure Pops would love that. He’d have me back under his thumb again, and we’d have to sneak around, pretend that things haven’t changed between us because I know you would never tell Pops about us. You wouldn’t want him to look down on you.”
“That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?”
I crossed to her, grabbed her by her upper arms. “I love you, Stacy. I’m only going to Boston. We can still see each other. I can come up here on the weekends; we can still go to Connecticut. We can still find time to be together.”
“For how long? What happens when Pops needs you on the weekends? What happens when it’s been months since we last saw each other? What happens when some other girl crosses your radar?”
“That won’t happen.”
“But it will. That whole distance makes the heart grow fonder bullshit is just that, bullshit.”
“Then I won’t go.”
She laughed again as she tugged away from me. She went into the bathroom and slammed the door so hard that the walls rattled. They could probably feel it upstairs. I stood there for a moment, not sure what I should do. But I knew. I’d always known it would come down to this. I grabbed my bag from the closet and began throwing my things into it. Better to rip the Band-Aid away in one, quick motion than to do it a little bit at a time.
I was nearly done when she opened the bathroom door.
She didn’t say anything. She just watched, her eyes wide and filled with the same sort of grief I’d seen in them the day she came to live with our family. I dropped the bag and went to her, pushing her back against the sink. We kissed, and it was more than it had been before. My very soul ached with the knowledge that this could be the last time.
“Marry me,” I said, whispering the words before I even knew I was going to say them. “Marry me and no one can keep us apart.”
She touched the side of my face, her beautiful eyes filled with tears again. “Are you sure?”
“More than I’ve ever been about anything.”
She made a sound that was a mixture of a chuckle and a moan. She wrapped her arms and her legs around me, forcing me to lift her to the sink. We kissed again, our hands tearing and pulling at one another. I wasn’t even sure if she’d said yes, or if she was just trying to let me down easily. But then it didn’t seem to matter as her hands tugged at the front of my jeans and her fingers wrapped themselves around me and pleasure exploded from every nerve ending, my knees threatening to give out on me as I pushed her back, kissing her as deeply as I could manage.
I couldn’t give her up. I couldn’t leave her. If we got married, Pops would have to accept our relationship. And she’d have to come to Boston with me and start her life over again. She could go back to school and do the things she’d wanted to do before Davis died.
Things would be the way they were supposed to be now and no one could change that.
Chapter 13
Stacy
It was all going exactly as I had hoped it would, but it was moving so much faster than I’d thought.
“We could find a justice of the peace. Or fly to Vegas.”
“I don’t want to go to Vegas.”
“Okay. What about Atlantic City?”
I groaned, rolling away from him on the bed. “A girl only gets one wedding,” I said, as I got up and padded to the window. “The least you could do is let me have a proper official marry us.”
“Like who?”
“A priest.”
“But it would take weeks to find a priest willing to do it.”
“What’s the rush? Pops can wait.”
“Stacy…”
I turned back to him, leaning my naked ass against the window. “If you’re really serious about this, you’ll give me what I want.”
He got up and came to me, lifting me in his arms like a father carrying his sleepy child back to bed. He rained kisses over my face, sighing as he pulled back to look at me.
“I’ll call Ian in the morning and see if we can sneak out a week. But we shouldn’t expect more than that.”
“I can work with a week.”
He kissed me, but then his belly grumbled hard enough that I could feel it against mine.
“Sorry,” he murmured. “But I’m starving.”
“Me, too.” I nibbled at his neck. “Do you think we could sustain ourselves on this?”
“No. But there’s an all-night deli a couple of blocks down the street.”
“Sounds good.”
He smiled, stealing a kiss before he climbed off of me. He moved around the room, gathering his clothes where they were scattered. I watched him, admiring the way his body moved. I think we’d both lost a little weight recently, spending more time in bed than at the kitchen table. But it wouldn’t matter soon enough.
I slipped a bathrobe over my shoulders and walked him to the door, stealing one last kiss before he disappeared down the hall. I stood there for a minute, telling myself that this was the way it was supposed to be. But I couldn’t shake the weight that sat heavily in the center of my chest.
This was the world he lived in. It was appropriate that it was this world that would take him out.
I don’t even know how it would go down, but I knew now was the time. And he played right into my hands without any manipulation. The marriage proposal was the icing on the cake.
It would all be over in a matter of minutes.
So why did I feel like I was about to lose everything that ever mattered to me?
I shook myself, trying to put a little steel into my backbone.
“I should get dressed,” I said to the empty apartment.
I pulled on yoga pants and a heavy cable-knit sweater, standing by the windows as I waited. There were few people out tonight. It was cold and they were predicting more snow. An hour passed, and there was no sign of Killian, not that I’d expected there to be. But every time someone came rushing down the street, their heads bowed to the wind, I was disappointed when it became obvious it wasn’t him. At the same time, I found myself rehearsing what I’d say to Pops when I had to make that phone call.
> He was gunned down in the streets like a dog. Like you should have been. Aren’t you proud of yourself for putting your first born in that position?
Obviously I wouldn’t say it like that. But I wanted to.
My heart pounded when my phone rang.
“Babe, it’s me. Something’s happened, but I’m going to be okay.”
That was not the call I was expecting.
Chapter 14
Killian
I didn’t see him. I turned the corner at the end of the block, and he just stepped out of nowhere, his gun drawn. I’d stopped carrying my gun months ago because it made Stacy uncomfortable. She didn’t want the gun in her house, though I’d kept one stashed in the pantry of her little kitchen since the day she moved in. What she didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. The danger seemed to be fleeting anyway. But now I definitely wished I had continued to wear it. I wouldn’t make that mistake again.
“I don’t know what you want, but you’re not getting it from me.”
The man didn’t say a word. He simply fired. I stepped into him, grabbed the barrel of the gun and shove it upward. There was a silencer on it, suggesting this was not just a random mugging. I shoved him back, but he had a few moves I didn’t predict. He landed a good shot to my jaw, stunning me briefly. The gun came up again, and he fired as I shoved the barrel away. I landed a hard kick to his stomach just as someone came around the corner and yelled, “What the hell?”
My attacker turned and ran, rushing up the alley as if he knew where he was going. And he probably did.
This wasn’t random. That guy was targeting me intentionally.
“You’re hurt,” the stranger said.
I looked up, surprised to find myself face-to-face with the college kid who took over my room. “Thanks,” I said.
“Do you want me to call the cops? Your shoulder…”
I looked down at my shoulder, seeing the rip in my jacket for the first time. “No, I’m good.”
“He shot you.”
“It’s fine, man.”
But just as I said that, I felt the searing pain rush through me. I’d been shot before, so I knew what it felt like. I cursed, not really in the mood to deal with this. There were things that had to be done immediately. Taking care of a wounded arm wasn’t among those things.
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