by Linda Sole
‘To America?’ It seemed such an impossibly long way away to Alice, and she could hardly comprehend that anyone would think of going there for surgery.
Frances nodded. ‘They have some of the best hospitals in the world, Alice, especially for things like this. Marcus knows someone who had an accident in a training flight over there, just before the war really got going, and his family almost wrote him off, but the Americans pulled him round. He is home now but will never be able to fly again, though he’s hoping for artificial limbs soon.’
‘Let’s pray Simon recovers,’ Alice said, feeling the sting of tears. War was so awful! ‘Emily must be terribly upset.’
‘Yes, she is,’ Frances said. ‘She has asked me to go and stay at the Vanes’ place for a few days, and I shall of course – though it’s a bit of a trek.’ She patted her stomach proudly. ‘Not much longer to go . . .’
‘When are you due?’
‘I think it will be April sometime,’ Frances said. ‘Marcus had a couple of short leaves close together so I’m not certain – but we think April.’
‘Oh, well, you’ll be home again before then, won’t you?’
‘Yes, I’ll be home in a few days. But Emily seems so down – I’ve got to go and see her. She doesn’t want to leave his parents while there’s still doubt about Simon’s recovery, you see.’
‘She’s given up her job, then?’
‘I don’t think she had much choice,’ Frances said with a little frown. ‘Lord Vane told her it was her duty to stay with Simon, so I suppose she had to ask for a discharge on compassionate grounds.’
‘Yes, I expect so,’ Alice agreed. ‘Dan said she loved her job there. It’s a shame, isn’t it – but she didn’t have much choice with Simon badly wounded, did she?’
‘No, I don’t think she could refuse in the circumstances. I’m glad she’s with his family. I hated to think of her in Liverpool with all that bombing going on.’
‘It just keeps on and on, doesn’t it?’ Alice shivered. ‘Look at what they’re doing to London. I don’t know how the poor devils stand it.’
‘I know . . .’ Frances sighed. ‘It’s terrible; that’s why I’m glad Emily is well out of it, though I don’t think she feels that way.’
‘No, but she’ll be glad to be with her husband, won’t she?’
‘Yes, of course,’ Frances said. ‘When he comes out of the hospital she won’t want to be anywhere but with him. That’s not likely to be for a while, of course.’
‘No, I don’t suppose so.’
Alice nodded, because it was bound to take time. She considered telling Frances about her baby, but decided to keep her secret a while longer.
She was thinking about Emily as she left her sister-in-law and continued her walk home. It was so sad that Emily’s husband should have been badly injured. Alice knew how she would feel if it had happened to Daniel. She would want to be with him as much as they would let her. Nothing would have made her go back to work and leave him in the hospital. She thought about the precious love letter he’d left on the table beside the bed. He’d said it was things she needed to know, but it was really a passionate love letter. She kept it with her and read it whenever she was missing him too much.
Alice was still doing a few days a week on the land, but she might have to cut down soon if her hopes were proved right. She could keep on doing tractor work for her father and perhaps some milking for a while, but she would have to stop doing the hard labour.
She enjoyed her work too, but she wouldn’t mind giving it all up if she was having Daniel’s baby.
‘It’s so good to see you,’ Emily said, and hugged her sister, feeling the sting of tears behind her eyes. ‘Thank you for coming. I really needed to see you.’
The emotion in her voice made Frances look at her. This wasn’t like Emily at all. She was usually a well-balanced, thoughtful girl who kept her feelings under control, but of course she had more than enough to distress her now.
‘Of course I came,’ Frances said, and kept an arm about her waist as they walked into the little back parlour that Emily had chosen to use. ‘Have you seen Simon yet?’
‘For about five minutes,’ Emily said, choking back the sob that rose in her throat. ‘He was still under sedation so he didn’t know I was there, but they tell me he’s doing well. They say he will recover, that he isn’t going to die.’
‘That’s something,’ Frances said, and looked at her face. ‘Was it awful for you, love? I mean, the burns . . . seeing them?’
‘He had bandages covering his hands and part of his face, but I could see his mouth and his eyelids,’ Emily said. ‘They looked a bit swollen but it is early days yet. I spoke to one of the doctors and he said Simon is in better shape than a lot of airmen who come down like that, so perhaps we’ve been lucky.’
‘Good, let’s hope that’s right, love.’ Frances squeezed her waist. ‘Besides, they can do wonderful things these days.’
‘Yes, I know. I’m not worried about that – not for my own sake, anyway. It’s dreadful for Simon. I keep thinking about the pain he will have to suffer and . . .’ She shook her head as the emotion clogged in her throat. How could she tell her sister that she felt trapped? It was so awful of her to think of herself at a time like this, but she was confused and unhappy, and it didn’t help that she was expected to live here with Simon’s family.
‘What is it, then? Something’s wrong, I can see it.’
‘Oh, nothing . . .’ Emily blinked her tears away. She couldn’t tell Frances that she believed she had made a mistake in marrying so hastily. It would look as if she was deserting Simon at the first sign of trouble, and her own sense of decency wouldn’t let her do that, even if she knew what she wanted – and the trouble was, she didn’t. ‘It’s just . . .’ She couldn’t find the words to go on.
‘Yes, of course,’ Frances said at once. ‘You must be desperately worried, love. I wish there was something I could do to help.’
‘You’re here and that makes me feel better,’ Emily told her, and smiled. ‘Let’s talk about something else. Tell me how you feel, what it feels like having the baby – and what you’ve managed to buy. Amelia gave me some baby wool she had put by yesterday and I’ve started to knit some coats for you, one in white and another in lemon.’ She pulled a wry face. ‘I’m not very good at knitting, though.’
‘I’m sure they will be lovely,’ Frances said. ‘I’ve brought my knitting with me, and some sewing too. I’m making a christening gown.’
‘I’m sure ours must be somewhere in the attic at Rathmere,’ Emily said. ‘Don’t most families keep them from one generation to the next?’
‘I think Henry had one and Clay gave Dorothy another,’ Frances said, and pulled a face. ‘I’m a bit worried about Henry, Emily. He had a terrible cough when I saw him last week, and I think he’s finding it all a bit much without Clay. It wasn’t too bad when Daniel was home, but now – well, he can’t cope.’
‘Have you heard anything from Daniel?’ Emily asked.
‘No, and I don’t think Alice has either,’ Frances said. ‘But you know what it’s like getting letters from over there . . .’
‘From over where? No one knows where he is yet, do they?’
‘No, but Alice thinks it might be Egypt, though of course she doesn’t really have a clue.’
‘I just hope he is all right,’ Emily said, her eyes clouding. ‘He and Alice had so little time together and she thinks the world of him, doesn’t she?’
‘Yes, well, it’s the same for all of us,’ Frances said. ‘I worry about Marcus too, you know.’
‘Yes, of course you do,’ Emily agreed. ‘But you’re so lucky, Frances. You always have been. Nothing will happen to Marcus; it can’t, because you won’t let it.’
Frances laughed, laying her hands on her swollen belly. ‘Well, if wishing and praying will keep him safe, we’re doing our best.’
Emily smiled. Frances looked more beautiful than ever, even though
she hadn’t got much longer to go until her baby was born – but it couldn’t be any other way for her. Lady Luck always smiled on Frances.
Daniel sat in his tent writing his letter to Alice. It was the fourth he’d written to her, though none of them had been sent yet, because they were too busy settling into their new surroundings. He chewed the end of his pencil, wondering how he could tell her where he was without having the censor blue pencil it out. They had all been wrong, and the guesses they’d made had been wildly out. He wasn’t in Africa or Malaya, but it was warmer than at home because this was Greece, and so far it was fine. The locals were friendly, and he’d been to a taverna with some of his mates a couple of times of an evening.
It’s much better than I imagined, he wrote at last. Not at all what we were expecting – pleasant, in fact. So don’t worry about me, darling. I shall be as safe as houses here. The worst bit is missing you.
He smiled as he finished his letter, tucking it into his kitbag with the others. He would send them all together very soon. He looked up as a soldier entered the tent, something about his manner alerting Dan that all was not well.
‘We’re on the bloody retreat,’ the soldier said. ‘Orders are to pack up and move out and look smart about it.’
‘We’ve only just got here,’ Daniel said. ‘I thought the Greeks were beating the Italians?’
‘They were but the flaming Jerries are invading and we ain’t got enough men to do much about it. So get your kit together and look sharp. We’ve got to fight our way out of this or the buggers will ’ave us too.’
Daniel thought about the letter he had just written to Alice, a wry smile on his face. By the looks of things he might have been better off if they had gone to Egypt!
Emily stared out of the long window in the small back parlour. The view of the park was just as beautiful as the first time she’d seen it, but she was restless, unable to settle to anything. It was all the uncertainty, the sitting around and waiting. It hadn’t been too bad when Frances was here, but she was at home now, and her baby was due at any time. In fact Frances thought she was late and had begun to get a bit fidgety.
Emily knew her sister was being well cared for by her husband’s family. She had promised to visit as soon as the baby was born, but she thought she might go for a visit sooner, because she wasn’t doing much good here. She wished she had been allowed to continue her work for the fire service, but Lord Vane had made it impossible for her.
‘It is your duty as my son’s wife to be here to support him,’ he had told her when she had mentioned that she might return to work after a few weeks’ leave. ‘I do not know how you can contemplate such a thing. Simon needs you.’
If Simon had needed her it wouldn’t have been so bad, Emily thought, but he didn’t. His father was in charge of his treatment, and she wasn’t included in the discussions with the doctors. It would be too painful for her and it wasn’t her decision was the message she’d received, though not in so many words. But words weren’t needed in this case. Lord Vane intended to pull every string available to him to get the best treatment for Simon, and he didn’t need her advice. Not that she would have been able to help – Emily was honest enough to admit that – but she would have liked to be consulted, to be treated as his wife and not just a guest. She realized that was the way she had always felt – a guest in their house. The Vanes were pleasant and friendly, but she didn’t feel as if she belonged here.
‘I know he looks a bit of a mess now,’ Vane had told Emily when she had been allowed to see her husband for the first time after the heavy bandages came off. ‘But these chaps can do miracles these days. You’ll see, we’ll have him looking nearly as good as new before you know it.’
‘He doesn’t look too bad,’ Emily said. Simon had a nasty burn covering the left side of his face, but he hadn’t been anywhere near as badly disfigured as Maura’s boyfriend. ‘I’ve seen worse burns, sir. Simon was lucky considering.’
‘Indeed?’ Lord Vane looked at her as if he thought she was mad, then nodded his head, apparently deciding to approve. ‘That’s it, Emily. Stiff upper lip. I knew you were made of the right stuff when Simon brought you home that first time. Told him to marry you. You can always tell good blood – and I didn’t want him making my mistake. A lot of girls would have bolted faced with something like this. I am glad you know your duty.’
Of course it was her duty to be there for Simon. Not that she had much choice in the circumstances. Nor would she have thought of leaving him if he needed her at all, but she couldn’t see that he did. Even when she visited him at the hospital he had little to say. He didn’t tell her to go away as Maura’s boyfriend had, but he wasn’t interested. Most of the time he lay with his eyes closed, feigning sleep. She might have been a part of the furniture for all he noticed her. And there was absolutely nothing for her to do in this house, she thought, except sit here twiddling her thumbs like a useless dummy.
‘Oh, there you are,’ a voice said from behind her, and she turned to see her father-in-law watching her, a frown creasing his brow. ‘Are you bored, Emily? I know there isn’t a lot for you to do here, and you must be worried about Simon.’
‘Yes, I am worried about him,’ Emily admitted, because she did care what happened to Simon. Her feelings for him were confused, but even if she wasn’t in love with him, she felt upset by the thought of him being in pain and distress. ‘But I wish I had something more to do.’
‘My project doesn’t interest you, I suppose?’
‘Not really, sir,’ Emily said, deciding to be honest. ‘I would like something more – to do something for other people.’
‘That’s what I thought,’ Lord Vane said. ‘And I think I’ve found the very thing for you, Emily.’
Emily wasn’t sure she wanted her father-in-law to solve her problems. ‘I’m not certain what you mean, sir.’
‘I wish you would call me Vane,’ he said, a note of irritation in his voice. ‘You are a part of the family, Emily, not a servant or a visitor.’
‘Am I?’ She couldn’t help sounding bitter. ‘Apparently you didn’t consider it necessary to tell me the moment you heard Simon had been shot down – and he hardly cares whether I visit him or not.’
‘That is ridiculous,’ Vane said, looking grim. ‘I was contacted as Simon’s next of kin and thought it best to see how things were going before I got you here.’
‘But you aren’t, are you?’ she said, angry in her turn. ‘I am Simon’s wife. Why wasn’t I told first? Or let me guess – I’m just a woman, hardly important unless I produce an heir to carry on the family tradition.’
‘This is really rather childish,’ Vane said. ‘Simon obviously forgot to update his details. He filled in my name when he joined up and didn’t get around to changing it that’s all. And I was merely trying to protect you from unnecessary shock and pain.’
‘Just in case I was pregnant, I suppose? The child would have been all important, wouldn’t it – especially if it happened to be a boy?’
‘What nonsense is this?’
‘Isn’t that why you told Simon to marry me? So that I could provide an heir for the estate?’
‘Naturally I hoped—’ Vane’s mouth pulled into a thin line. ‘Simon married you because he loves you. You must know that, Emily.’
‘I thought he did,’ she said, ‘but I don’t know any more.’
‘Are you making this up simply as an excuse to leave him?’
‘No, of course not. I wouldn’t leave him while he needed me – but I’m not sure that he does.’
‘Of course he does. Stop all this nonsense, Emily. You are upset and bored with nothing to do but sit and worry, which is why I thought you might like a new job.’
‘What kind of a job?’ She looked at him warily.
‘I have given one of my houses as a convalescent home for wounded soldiers,’ he said. ‘It has been standing empty for a while but I’ve kept it in good repair. The government requires us all to do our bit in
this war, Emily. We are not the only ones being asked to make sacrifices. Almost every large house in the country is being considered, because we need all the available space we can get. There will be nursing staff on hand, naturally, though most who come here will be through the worst of it. They are likely to be long-term patients, and it will be their home rather than a hospital.’
Emily’s interest was caught, but she didn’t speak, waiting for him to continue, to tell her what he wanted from her.
‘This is a privately funded home, Emily. I offered to provide and run it independently of government funding – and my offer has just been accepted. I thought you might like to take charge of the day-to-day running. Not the nursing – as I said, that will be provided – but there will be accounts, ordering, overseeing that everything runs smoothly – and that the men have everything they need. You’ll need to provide visiting access for friends and relatives, help with writing letters for those who can’t manage it – numerous things I haven’t even thought of. Amelia has her hands full with this house and the horses – but I thought you might like this project as your own.’ His gaze narrowed, holding her fast. ‘You will need something to occupy you until Simon gets on his feet again.’
He was offering her a bribe to keep her here, Emily realized. It seemed that he knew her well enough to understand that she would not be content to be idle, and this was his way of holding her. Perhaps he knew that she was telling the truth about Simon not needing her; he understood that she was unhappy. For the first time she felt as if they were communicating – that he saw her as a person and not just as the means to an end.
If she agreed, it would mean she would have to stay here for a long time, perhaps years, because she couldn’t just turn her back on something like that and already she felt a stirring of excitement, a feeling of purpose. He was right. She had to be here in case Simon needed her one day – and this would help her to feel that she was doing her bit for the war effort.
‘Do you think I could manage something like that?’