“So Melissa’s husband was…” I trailed, waiting for him to continue. I couldn’t understand myself. While I found myself not wanting to push him, my lips constantly urged him to unravel me more about himself. And that utterly confused and terrified me at the same time. I wondered if he’d get angry at me because of it.
“Regina’s older brother, Ethan,” he said, clearly not angered by my questions, and for that, I was thankful. “He was Max’s rival in high school, you know, two players from rich families. And was also bullying Mel all the time. He hated her for no apparent reason. Or no, maybe he knew that she was his future wife, so he tried to get his anger out on her. I don’t know.” How could their father arrange a marriage to such a person, especially with someone his daughter had a horrible past with? She probably hated him or was even terrified of him because if his actions, yet her father didn’t even take her feelings into consideration.
“Since he was the oldest, he was the next CEO of Waltz Company. So guess what? Our dear, loving father arranged their marriage against her will.” Although I knew it, it still hurt to hear it come so clear from his lips. “That bastard abused her every fucking day in their marriage. For fuck’s sake, he raped her every day!” His breathing became hard and rugged. His fists clenched as all color drained from them. As much as his behavior scared me, I knew that it would’ve hurt him much more if I were to run away. Especially now that he was finally opening up to me, now that the final pieces of the puzzle were coming together.
“He died in a car accident four months later. Melissa almost went through the miscarriage because of the beating she got from him, and he never gave a fuck about it!”
I couldn’t take it. I thought I was ready to face it, yet I was weak, and it broke my heart. I took his hands as I sat in his lap before placing my lips on his fists, trying to somehow remind him that all of that was in the past.
To calm him down.
Even though I was trying, in the deaf silence of his study, I could still hear his loud and fast heartbeat. He was far from calming down, yet I took my time. I couldn’t give up. Most of the time, I would be the one being confronted, especially that day when I told him about my parents. It was different. We were different persons, but I knew.
We were both blaming ourselves for our pasts.
“It was not your fault,” I spoke what he needed to hear, what was the truth, yet he shook his head.
“It was—I was too busy trying to pull back the company on its feet that I haven’t noticed what was going on with my own family. Max had it worse. After her rejection, he suffered. When he found out about Melissa…God, he loved her so much that he didn’t even care that she was pregnant with someone else. He tried to save her baby at all costs that he even chose his profession so that he could make it. He knew what psychical shock it would’ve been for her to lose her baby. She constantly feared that her baby was not going to make it, yet Max studied so hard and made sure she knew that everything was going to be okay. He stayed by her side until the very end,” he continued, and before I could even realize what was going on, tears formed in my eyes. I did that lot lately.
“And Lucas?” I threw the name of his father the moment I found out about those two. “What did he do when he found out?” I asked. The darkness seemed to completely swallow Blake’s face. He let out a dry chuckle, his eyes looked like they never knew of light, of joy. Only hatred. Pure, raging hatred.
“Nothing. He very well knew what was going on, yet he didn’t give a damn about it. He firmly believed that our company was going to fall apart, and the only way out was that marriage, so he turned a blind eye to it. We all found out too late. The car accident happened when he tried to escape the police. Melissa was taken to the hospital when the miscarriage almost happened, and she couldn’t hide the reason behind her state,” he finished, and my heartbeat quickened. My body shook as my lips trembled. I couldn’t believe that something so terrible happened to my friend.
“She was being threatened by him to keep quiet. Her bruises were never in visible places. We couldn’t know…But I should’ve. I’m her older brother. I fucking should’ve noticed!”
I tried to confront him, but he was faster. He was hugging me tightly, embracing me while I cried on his chest. I didn’t even know why I cried. He had the right to cry more than I did. Now I understood his hatred for Lucas and his words that his family ruined Melissa. Safe houses. Why he was so adamant on building those safe houses. His sister was one of those abused women. I understood everything.
“It took us a whole three years to get our Mel back. Thanks to Max, she is even stronger than before now, and she got a healthy baby. I know that they still love each other. Everyone can see it clearly in their eyes…But I guess that she’s simply too scared to start married life now, and no one’s pushing her.” I could understand that. I thought that experience I had with Blake was difficult, yet it was nowhere as close as hers. I was afraid of sleeping with Blake again, but she…she was afraid to have happiness in her life, to get married.
“But it’s so hard on Max, you know. He never stopped loving her.” He was telling me their story, and I made sure to take in every single information, to acknowledge their tale. That sad smile I could see here and there on Max’s face was true. I was never over-thinking things. He loved her, and because of that, he made sure that he gave her space. He was willing to wait. He never took an interest in other women because he waited. He hoped that he’d be with her again.
“I still remember how broken he was when she returned him the engagement ring and said that she couldn’t marry him ‘because she didn’t love him like that,’ which my father told her to do.” By now, my tears could no longer remain silent. Sobs full of pain left my lips as he closed his eyes, hiding his own pain. She loved him even after all this time. I could only imagine how hard it was for her to say no to a person she loved, probably wholeheartedly.
I could never do that to Blake. It would hurt me much more now that I knew his feelings. I loved him, but I feared to tell him, yet I knew that I had to say it as soon as possible. One could never know what tomorrow brings. The same went with me, with him, with Mel and Max. The same went for everyone. When you love, you should tell that to your loved ones while you still have a chance because once they’re gone, no matter how loud you scream or hard you cry, they won’t be able to hear your voice.
“Why are you crying? I’m the one that should be doing that. You’re supposed to be the one confronting me,” he asked, trying to lighten up the atmosphere, but I couldn’t stop. Suddenly the room didn’t seem so dark as it was before, and I noticed that his heartbeat was somewhat back to normal now that my head was tightly pressed on his chest. That was right. He was the one supposed to cry, but he didn’t.
“It’s because you won’t cry that I’m the one doing it instead.” I probably sounded like a wreck at the moment, but I couldn’t stop or hide my feelings like what he told me didn’t affect me at all. My cries only seemed to get worse as I tried to talk. “And because of the two of them…They had such a horrible past. They didn’t deserve it.” My tears have long ago overflowed. I tried to hold them back, but it was all in vain. It was useless, and I didn’t care. I felt like this was the only right thing to do at the moment and was surprisingly okay with me.
“Yeah, and that’s all in the past. You can see why I acted that way when I found out about that marriage offer,” was his grim reply, and I knew that he was trying to hide how much he was actually hurt for my sake, but I didn’t want that. I didn’t want him to hide things, to not have someone to confide in. For that reason, I openly cried before him. He didn’t need to be brave or act tough around me. It was more than enough if he decided to stay by my side. I loved his playful side. I loved his passion. I loved the way he cared. I loved him for being himself.
“You have no idea just how much I want to kill that bastard!” He sighed as his arms relaxed before moving from my back. I immediately started missing the warmth they gave
me as he moved them to his side.
But even after telling me all that, something seemed off like he was trying to hide some details from me.
Lucas.
Before I found out about Mel, Blake said that Lucas had something to do with Marine’s death, and his reaction was pretty much the same as the one he currently showed me. Could it be that she was also dragged into this story? Could it be that…
“Blake…There’s something you’re not telling me, right?” His eyes had widened before he took a sharp intake of breath. I gulped. I immediately noticed that it was not something to be talked about, so I apologized. I overstepped my boundaries.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean…I just let my tongue be faster than my own mind. Forget about it please,” I nervously rambled, but he only gave a lifeless chuckle, the same as the one earlier.
Just what had happened to him? How deep did his grudge for Lucas go?
“I told you that you were smart after all,” was his grim reply. “Mel was simply a backup plan. You could call it like that. That bastard, that’s how low he thought of our family!” No, it couldn’t be that he had done what I thought he had. I shook my head in disbelief.
“Before he arranged Mel’s marriage, he had arranged my twin sister Marine’s, and also to the Ethan. But their past, their past wasn’t as sweet as his and Mel’s,” he whispered.
Oh God!
“Do you really want to know how fucked up my family is? Because this is just a half of the story. And it’s much, much kinder than the rest of it.” He stared at me with cold and blank eyes. I watched him with my lips parted.
I didn’t think as I did the only thing that seemed logical to me at that time.
I nodded my head.
Whether or not I regretted the outcome of our conversation, I was ready to head there. No, it’s just that even I wasn’t ready to hear it. I decided that I would no longer turn my back.
Because that’s what happens when you find your precious someone, no? You become prepared to make sacrifices.
Chapter 25
I Love You
Kissing is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when the words become superfluous.
—Unknown author (to me)
Unraveling people is something human beings are keen on doing. Why do we want to understand others? Why do we need to understand, for that matter? Couldn’t we just accept them as they are and live with it?
No. We couldn’t.
Humanity is a race that relies on bonds. Though some of us may prefer loneliness, not a single one is able to deal with life alone. It’s not in our nature. We simply need to interact with others like we need to breathe. But with diabolical people nowadays that can betray us any second, we need to chose who to have by our side. That is why we slowly try to understand people as our trust toward them slowly progresses. The moment we stop trusting is the moment we cease to understand. We stop trying to understand because either we finally trust them with our lives, or they betray us.
We give up.
I believe that it was precisely the reason behind my need to unravel Blake as he continued to tell me about the darkest pieces of his past. No longer his office seemed like a nice and comfortable place to stay in. It was witnessing a painful truth. It couldn’t allow itself to stay like that.
I could hear the sharp intake of breath coming from Blake, and suddenly, the whole study became engulfed in thick darkness once again. Though, it might’ve probably been just my imagination.
The sandwiches I prepared for him were still untouched on the plate, all but one of which you could see a few of bites. It was the one Blake started eating before he gave up on. My tears were completely gone as I bravely stared at his face, patiently waiting for his next words, never uttering anything until I heard one from him.
I waited for a bit longer. His lips parted a bit. He didn’t know what to say. I knew that I surprised him by telling him that I wanted to know more, but I thought that he couldn’t say anything because he didn’t know what to or it was just too hard. Believing that I went too far, I decided to change the theme. He was not ready. I couldn’t force him to come out of his shell that fast.
“You should eat first,” I found myself saying. I had started to act weird, first forcing out the answers from him and now demanding from him to eat. Maybe I was finally mad. I didn’t know, but I was genuinely worried about him, and it was currently the only thing I was now sure about.
“Demanding little thing, aren’t you?” He chuckled, but this time, it was his amused chuckle, not some lifeless chuckle like the last two.
“Sorry. I’m just worried about you,” I admitted sheepishly, fully aware of the pink color coming to my cheeks.
“Fine, fine, Mom. I’ll be eating first,” he joked with amusement clear in his voice. He moved his arm toward those sandwiches.
“You better!” I jokingly slapped his chest seeing as he was back to his normal self. I was glad. I didn’t need to know the rest of the story yet. I was fine with what he had already revealed to me.
“Here.” He chuckled, taking the sandwich he already started before staring at it. In the next second, he pinched my hip, and I screamed. He used that chance to put the sandwich in my mouth, and I no longer wanted to scold him.
“C’mon, bite.” Did I look like I had a choice? Seriously? “I won’t eat until you do,” he said, amused by the situation I was in, and I wanted to slap him so hard but went against it. The taste of this so-called dinner was simply too strong and inviting for me to resist. I was a pro at making sandwiches. Blame it on them coming from Blake’s hand, but it had much better taste than any I made before. As I said, blame it on coming from his hand.
“There. Was it that hard?” he asked before taking a bite himself as I still munched on the one he gave me. His lips were so inviting. I suddenly remembered the feeling of his lips pressed against mine, instantly missing them. They were so soft and just calling for mine to reunite once again.
Since I seemed to be doing crazy things today, my hand moved on its own—no, this time, I wanted it, and so I raised my hand to touch his lips so soft, so inviting, so good. He was stunned at first. His lips did his usual parting and closing thing as he tried to say something, but nothing came out of them. I took that as a good sign, the way his eyes would linger on my lips as well.
“What…” The moment he finally found his words, I could no longer resist. I smashed my lips on his, closing my eyes and savoring the moment. I had a feeling that everything was the way it was supposed to be, that my lips belonged on his. After a while, he hadn’t shown any kind of reaction, so I decided to pull away. But just as my head started moving backward, he grabbed my head from behind and kissed me. And I wasn’t stunned this time. The feeling of belonging hit me again as I started to move my lips in synch with his. His other hand found its way around my waist, pulling me closer to him, and I gasped when I felt him poking me from the under.
He smiled, obviously pleased by my reaction, and soon slipped his tongue into my mouth, instantly winning the dominance of our kiss as he bit my lip. Another time I was kissing him, and I enjoyed every single second of it.
The fireworks are true. I understood now what others mean when they say that fireworks explode when two fated people kiss. I understood the sole concept of being fated with someone as every inch of my skin screamed that it was finally where it belonged.
When we finally pulled away, we were fighting to catch up with our breaths. He watched me with a grin, and I gulped. I liked it so much.
“Now that’s what I call a kiss,” he said, and I hid my head in his shirt, my head on his chest as I stayed in his lap.
“Shut up,” I mumbled, making him laugh. That contagious laughter only Blake could make.
“Can I ask you why?” His voice became hoarse. Silence fell on us as his face got more serious. “Why did you kiss me?” I knew that it was a chance I’d never get again. Perfect opportunity to tell him how I felt about him, about us.
No, it didn’t look like that.
That’s what I assured myself with. Faith. I had faith in him and his words to hold a sincere meaning.
“You don’t have to answer,” he started once he had noticed how long it was taking me to do so. “I mean, it’s alright if you’re confused…”
“That’s the point. I’m not,” I mumbled as I averted my eyes, willing to look at anywhere but his face; I even started playing with my hair. Difficult, it was so fucking difficult to confess.
“I d-did it be-because I…” I gulped. I couldn’t—no, I could. I reminded myself. “I l-love you—” I closed my eyes “—too.” That was much, much harder than it seemed to be.
“I…Are you sure?” I gave him my most the-hell questioning look after that. It was not what you should ask a girl after she had just confessed to you.
“Yeah…for a while, actually.” Surprisingly, words seemed to roll out perfectly out of my tongue as I replied. It was one thing to confess, but changing the point by complaining about his reaction was something I wasn’t ready to do.
“Sorry for not replying when you told me earlier, you know.” I bit my lip. I would have liked to know what was on his mind at the moment. Was I right to tell him how I felt so soon? Have I done something wrong by initiating the kiss?
“I don’t know what to say.” He told me something I had already figured out myself. “So…I’m just going to kiss you once again to prove myself that what just happened was real.” And with that, he pulled my chin upward so that I could look at his eyes that held…love? It was the first time I saw his face with that look, and I liked what I saw so damn much. Believing that I could just fall for another side of Blake at that moment, I nodded. I wanted another kiss just as much as he did.
One Night Stand with a Billionaire Page 22