“If you fucking shut up and let me finish, maybe you will find out.”
“Eli,” Sebastian says. “Just tell them what’s going on so we can sort this shit out.”
Elijah shoots his heavy scowl at his friend but then finally sighs and looks back at Maria with his heart on his sleeve. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice thick with pain. “The appointment was with an obstetrician. Ocean’s pregnant.”
A weight drops down on my chest as Maria sucks in a sharp gasp and turns to me in horror. “My baby,” she cries before her hands start hitting against my chest. “What have you done? She’s only seventeen. She’s just a baby herself.”
I shake my head, feeling as though I'm about to pass out. A fucking baby? Pregnant. Shit. “I … I… fuck. I’m sorry. I didn’t—”
“Get off your fucking high horse,” Elijah spits. “It’s not your baby.”
What?
Maria stops and whips her head around to Elijah just as I do, staring at him in confusion. “What?” she demands. “What are you talking about?”
Eli’s face somehow breaks even more than it already was as the boys behind him grow impossibly still. That weight on my chest sinks to my gut, and an awful feeling comes over me as I wait for what I already fear to come out of Eli’s mouth. “The doctor did a dating ultrasound on her,” he explains, reaching out and taking Maria’s hand. “She’s seven weeks pregnant. That makes the father Jude Carter.”
Maria’s eyes go wide, and I fall against the wall of the hallway, sinking down until I collapse onto the floor. My head falls into my hands as I hear Maria’s soft sobbing in the background. Sebastian pulls her into his arms as we process the news.
He fucking knocked her up. That bastard touched my girl and has now left her with scars that she’s going to have to relive every fucking day. She deserves so much better than that. “How’d she end up at the Wolf Den?” I murmur, my voice strong despite how fucking weak I feel.
“That’s what we don’t know,” Sebastian says. I pull my head out of my hands, looking up to meet his eyes, sensing there’s more to this. “Eli said she looked odd after dropping him off. She said she needed to talk to you about what she was going to do and then took off, so he followed her to make sure she was safe, and instead of turning off for the highway, she turned back and pulled up outside the Wolf Den. She walked in before he could stop her.”
I glance to Eli and he nods. “She was too far away. I couldn’t even call out her name. If the Wolves had seen me on their territory ...”
A distasteful grunt pulls from deep within me. “So, you saved yourself instead of her?”
“It wasn’t like that,” Elijah snaps.
“Then what was it like?” I demand. “Because from where I’m sitting, it sure as hell seems that way.”
Eli clenches his jaw, his hands balling into fists again, but Maria’s soft cry steals the spotlight. “Why?” she whispers, tears gently falling down her face. “She’s so strong. What would push her to do this?”
Kairo shakes his head. “That’s what we don’t know. We figured she must have called this rich pick in the car and he told her to fuck off.”
“What?” I demand. “I’d never fucking do that to her.”
They all shrug. “That’s what I thought,” Sebastian says. “But nothing else made sense.”
I watch the three boys, scrambling for reasons, desperately trying to figure out what would push Ocean to such extremes. That’s when I realize these fuckers don’t have a fucking clue. “Tell me, what did Nic have to say about this?”
Their eyes scan to me, each of them narrowed and deadly. “What’s it to you?”
“You said they had an argument. I’ll take one fucking guess and say that you three have absolutely no idea what that argument was about.”
Sebastian steps forward. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“It means that your boss, the guy who’s supposed to be your friend, is a fucking liar.”
Sebastian grabs me by the front of my shirt and pulls me in close. “Watch your fucking mouth.”
“Then tell me, what did he say the fight was about?”
“That’s none of your goddamn business.”
Kairo sighs, done with this bullshit. “Nic proposed. She said no and told him to fuck off. Nothing out of the ordinary and certainly nothing that would send her running into the arms of the Wolves.”
Maria shakes her head, already knowing exactly what it is that Nic did to push Ocean away. “You boys are so blind,” she finally says. “You trust that man so blindly, but let me ask you this. Do you have any idea who killed my husband eight months ago?” Their brows furrow as they glance around nervously, not liking where this is going. “That’s right,” she continues, sensing their nervousness. “Dominic killed my Lou in cold-blood and then stood in my home, vowing to help bring his killer to justice. That’s the kind of man you are serving.”
Each of the Widows start shaking their heads. “No, that’s not true. Nic would never do that to Ocean,” Eli says. “He knows what that would have done to her. He loves her.”
I scoff. “Yeah, he loves her so fucking much that he drags her down stairs and bruises her skin. He doesn’t love her. He just doesn’t want any other sorry bastard to have her. You know he’s capable of this. You’ve seen him with your own fucking eyes. He killed Lou, and then he killed my father. Ocean found the fucking dagger in his room and he admitted it to her. That’s what their argument was over. He came here Thursday morning, held a fucking gun to her head after she ran from him, and then demanded she choose. When she turned her back on him, he told her she was dead to him. That’s why she walked into the fucking Wolf Den, and I can guarantee that she’ll be doing everything she fucking can to build an army against Nic and take him out once and for all. So, when she comes asking what side you’re on, you better know your answer.”
They stare at me in horror as if only now just realizing how fucking serious this bullshit is going to get, but I don't have time to sit around and play the ‘how fucked up is Nic’ game. I have a girl to save.
I push myself to my feet and walk into my kitchen with the three Widows and Maria on my heels. I take my car keys off the counter and turn back to them. “Now, seeing as you three are here instead of at the Wolves fucking door, I’m assuming that you’re too fucking pussy to fight for her. So, get out of my way, I have a girl to bring home.”
“Don’t be a fucking dickhead,” Kairo says. “They’re going to kill you on sight.”
“Well,” I say, raising a brow. “I’m ready to take that risk for Ocean. Are you?”
Not one of them budges, and I shake my head, disappointment raining down over me. If only Ocean knew where their priorities really stood.
With that, I walk through them, leaving them all behind with their fucking tails between their legs, knowing damn well that they won't risk their own lives to go in there and save her, despite how often they say that they will. If anyone is going to save her, it’s going to be me, and I won’t stop until I have her back in my arms, safe and sound. Right where she belongs.
Chapter 4
Ocean
I sit at the bar, sipping soda, and taking in everything around me. This place is one horror after another. It is well after seven at night, and the things I have already seen are terrifying. After the little ‘meeting’ that decided Nic’s fate, I promptly threw up. Though honestly, the mental images of all the ways the Wolves were going to end Nic had way more to do with feeling sick than this absurd pregnancy.
I need to stop this. I need to find a way out while making sure that no one gets hurt. I can circle back to revenge on Nic, but no matter what I do, they’re going to attack. I gave them my father’s killer without thinking. I thought maybe they would have already known.
Big. Fucking. Mistake.
With that one sentence that came out of my mouth, I sealed Nic’s fate, and I don’t know how to deal with that. Yes, he’s an awful man, a liar,
and a killer, but he’s also my Nic. I thought maybe they’d go ahead with a little torture to make him feel really sorry for what he did, but not this. I never wanted to be the reason so many lives were lost, both Widows and Wolves.
What have I done?
Not only have I brought this bullshit down on Sebastian, Elijah, and Kairo, but I’ve also sealed my own fate. Russo will never let me go. I have a slim to none chance of getting out of this, and after the attack goes down, that slim chance will only get smaller.
Glancing around the Wolf Den, I see my future. This is my home now, not with Colton and not with the Widows.
What am I going to tell my mother? Not only do I have to tell her that my rapist got me pregnant, but I have to tell her that I came running in here without really thinking it through. All I knew was that I had to end Nic’s bullshit before I brought a baby into the world.
She’s never going to forgive me. She’ll understand the whole baby thing even though it will destroy her, but deciding to go to Russo? Yeah, that’s going to sting. She’s going to feel betrayed, and she’s going to hurt for the future that I won’t be able to have. College and a happy, safe life with Colton? I can kiss that goodbye.
There has to be a silver lining here somewhere. I just have to find it.
I turn in my seat and watch the den around me just as I’ve been doing since I walked out of that meeting five hours ago. I’ve seen at least three fights, one that ended with a glass bottle being shattered, and a man nearly bleeding out on the ground. Judging by the way everyone just sat around and watched, I'd dare say this bullshit is a regular occurrence. The whole scene threw me back to being in that wine cellar with Jude. I was the raging lunatic with the smashed bottle in my hand, and to be honest, I really could have done without that reminder today. I’ve already got enough on my plate.
I’ve watched two men bring a girl through the doors and then get her off in the corner of the room, though thankfully, she appeared to be a willing participant. I’ve seen some loser with a needle, shooting himself up at the other end of the bar and then passing out twenty minutes later. But the best of all was when four guys came running through the door, each with a duffle bag, dropping them to the ground to take inventory. I don't know what they were expecting, but the stacks of cash, jewelry, and weapons seemed to surprise them.
I noticed the man who helped save me from Leon when I first got here hasn’t stepped out of my sight, it’s the only thing reassuring me that I might just get out of this alive. Don’t get me wrong, he’s not sitting beside me, and we’re not playing footsies under the bar. He's keeping his distance while silently letting me know that he’ll have my back if shit goes south, and I think I need that more than I could ever fully understand. I don’t even know his name, but I appreciate him. I plan on making it my mission to get to know him, just not tonight. Tonight is completely reserved for freaking out, panicking, and hating myself for making ridiculous, spur of the moment decisions.
This is my life now.
One foot out of place, and I’m a dead woman. Not to mention all the wandering eyes I’ve had to avoid over the past few hours. Scarface was put in his place, but new guys keep coming who have no idea who I am. It’s only a matter of time before someone tries something again.
I hate the feeling of not being safe. I had everything with Colton. I should have just gone home and let him handle Nic like he said he would, but the thought of having him up against Nic makes me sick. If something was to happen to him? Fuck, I couldn’t handle it. At least if one of these guys were to get hurt going against the Widows, I wouldn’t feel so bad about it.
Maybe I have made the right decision …
“Here,” a voice says from behind me. I swivel around in my barstool just in time to see the bartender slam a shot glass down in front of me. He instantly fills it up with a clear liquid that I'm not exactly sure I know the name of. It could be vodka or it could be fucking acid for all I know. “You look like you could use a drink. The soda you’ve been sipping on clearly hasn’t been doing the job.”
I slide the shot glass back toward him while taking in the tattoos, piercings, and scars covering his toned body. He has kind eyes, and that’s the only reason why I don't throw the shot right back at him. “Can’t,” I tell him. “I’m seventeen and knocked up with my rapist's baby.”
He sucks in a sharp breath and instantly slides the shot back toward me. “Shit. That's rough. Sounds like you need this more than you know.”
My eyes drop to the glass. I’d do anything to get fucked up and forget this all happened. Yet, despite me being stupid enough to come here in the first place, I’m not stupid enough to allow myself to get fucked up around a bunch of sick, twisted men with less than honorable intentions.
“Really,” I say, sliding it back again. “I can’t.”
“Suit yourself,” he says, grabbing the shot and raising it to his lips. He throws it back and then slams the glass down on the bar again. He refills it and quickly takes another before tossing the glass over his shoulder and letting it smash against the back wall of the bar.
I can’t help but stare. I don’t know whether to be impressed, shocked, or scared of this guy, but for now, he’s someone standing in front of me who doesn’t seem all too bad, and because of that, I’m willing to give him my attention … just not all of it.
His eyes drop to my stomach. “So,” he says, grabbing some glasses and filling them with beer. “You keeping it?”
My hand automatically falls to my stomach as I feel a massive weight drop down on my shoulders. “I have no fucking idea,” I tell him honestly, shrugging my shoulders and watching as he slides the beers down the bar to the men sitting at the opposite side. “I’ve always been pro-life. I mean, it’s a fucking baby, but then at the same time …”
“It’s a rapist's baby,” he says, finishing my sentence, his voice low. “Look, kid. You’re only seventeen. I doubt any motherfucker is going to judge you for getting rid of it. It’s not like you asked for it. You’re young, you still have a shitload of living to do. You don’t need to be held down by some cunt’s kid.”
I stare off to the wall behind him, taking in his words. I mean, he’s not wrong. I didn’t ask for this. If I did have this baby, I'd spend the rest of my life looking at it and remembering what happened to me. I'd never forget Jude’s face because it would always be staring back at me through my child’s eyes. I’d resent it for the rest of my life. But at the same time, this is an innocent baby who didn’t do anything wrong. It's not it’s fault that it’s sperm donor is an awful man.
“To be honest,” I tell the bartender. “I only found out this morning. I have no idea what I should do or what’s right or wrong. I haven't even talked to my mom about this. She’ll know what to do, but then, she’ll probably tell me that I need to make this decision on my own, which is a load of bullshit.”
“To be fair,” he says, glancing up when another fight breaks out behind me. “Your mom would be right. This is your decision. It’s your body, and you’re the one who will have to live with it for the rest of your life.”
I prop my elbows onto the bar and drop my face into my hands. “It’s too much to think about. I should be freaking out about the History assignment I haven’t done—which is due next week—not rapists and babies.”
“Fair point,” he says, leaning down on the bar and getting uncomfortably closer. “Look,” he says. “I’m going to tell you something that I haven’t told anyone in a while.”
My brows furrow, and I take another sip of my soda, my curiosity burning within. “Go on then.”
“When I was nineteen, I knocked up this chick. I met her in a bar, took her home, and fucked her until we couldn't walk. By the morning, she was gone, and I figured that was it. I’d never have to see her again. Until two months later, she came knocking on my door, claiming she was pregnant.”
“What’d you do?”
“Freaked the fuck out.”
I roll my eyes. �
�After that, dickhead.”
“Look, I wasn’t ready to be some kid’s father, and she wasn’t ready to hand over her lifestyle for breastfeeding and shitty diapers. I told her to get an abortion, but she wasn’t down with that either. So, we looked into our options.”
“You didn’t leave her to figure it out on her own?”
“No,” he says, pulling back and dropping his brows in annoyance. “That kid was my responsibility too. I was the one who knocked her up, so I was the one who needed to make sure she got out of it okay. I’m not one of those guys who just ditches a chick after getting her in trouble, like most of the fuckers in this place.”
My respect for this stranger jumps up a few levels, but all I do is nod. Honestly, it’s not my business to have an opinion on it. “So, what did you do?”
“We found a family that was ready.”
“What do you mean? Adoption?”
“Mmhmm. A husband and wife who had been trying for a few years, having miscarriage after miscarriage. All they wanted in this world was a kid and we could give that to them with no strings attached. They paid for all the medical bills and took the responsibility off our hands. Gi had the baby seven months later, and that was it. That little boy would be twelve years old now.”
“No shit?” I question, raising my brow as the idea settles into my mind, making me feel as though I’m not completely helpless.
“Yep,” he says, nodding. “Take my advice or don’t. It really makes no difference to me. All I’m saying is that you have options so before you start thinking that your life is over, look into them. This might feel like hell for you, but this hell could be someone else’s miracle.”
“Thanks,” I say, glancing up at him. “That’s actually … kinda helpful. What’s your name?”
He nods and holds his hand out. “I’m Jaren.”
I take his hand and give it a quick shake, not wanting to touch him any longer than necessary. “I’m Ocean.”
“I know. You’re the Widow chick. We’ve all heard about you around here.”
Ride or Die: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 4) Page 4