Not wanting to linger on it, I move along.
Sebastian - I don’t even know what to say to you. I want to hate you for going to them. I’ve never felt so fucking betrayed by you, but at the same time, you’re hurting. I don’t know how to help you. Eli told us about the baby, and I swear, if you decide to keep it, I’ll be there. I’ll do whatever you need. Just don’t shut me out.
Sebastian - I love you, Ocean. We all do. Please come home.
His text has a tear coming to my eye, and I want to hate him for it. How is he so good at getting me right where it hurts? Sebastian knows me too damn well.
Needing to get this over and done with, I create a group text with all three of them and start hashing out a response.
Ocean - I’m sorry. I know you’re all hurting and can’t understand why I came to the Wolves. Please know that I love you all and would never intentionally try to hurt you, but I’m out of options. If only you knew the full story, knew what I knew … then you might understand. I never intended to hurt you guys. You’re always my family, and I hope that one day you’ll be able to forgive me for this, but I stand by my decision. I have to see this through. I have to end this. Not only for my sake, but for yours and Colton’s, but most of all, for my baby.
Taking a deep breath, I hit send and watch as the message shoots up the screen.
Fear rattles me as I watch the little notification, telling me that each of them has received the message and are reading it, but I don't linger on it. I exit out of the messages app and bring up the number that Colton had been calling me on.
I put the phone to my ear, and as I curl into a shivering ball on the floor, I listen as the phone rings.
“Jade,” Colton rushes out, barely allowing the phone to complete a whole ring before answering. “Are you okay? Are you coming home?”
“No,” I murmur, trying to keep my voice low so that I don’t alert the rest of the den to the fact that I'm alone in a bedroom with minimal exits. “I have to stay here for a while. He won’t let me go until I’ve earned his trust. He thinks I’ll run back to the Widows if I leave.”
“That’s fucking bullshit. Doesn’t he know what happened? As if you’d ever go back there.”
“I know, but they’ve been watching me for years. They know how close I am with the boys.”
“Really? How close are you? Because this morning when I said that I was coming after you, not one of them was willing to come with me. They were too caught up with the possibility that they’d get a bullet through their head. But they should know that if they ever fail to fight for you like that again, that the bullet will be delivered by me.”
“No,” I argue, knowing that couldn’t be true. “If given the chance, they would have come for me. I know they would have.”
“I’m sorry, Jade, but they didn’t.”
Pain tears through me at the thought that they wouldn’t risk coming in here for me after all the times that they’ve told me that they had my back. “Not even Sebastian?”
“Not even him.”
A tightness constricts around my chest, squeezing until it’s nearly impossible to breathe. I guess they’ve chosen their side in all of this, but they don’t know what Nic did. They probably thought I came here because of the baby, and they just don’t understand.
I let out a sigh, not wanting to focus on it any longer. “Tell me that I made the right decision.”
“I can’t do that, Ocean.”
“Then tell me something else.”
“I love you, no matter what. I’m so fucking angry with you right now, and although I understand why you went to Russo, I can’t accept it.”
“I stand by what I did, Colton. I have to. This can’t all be for nothing. Nic killed our fathers, and despite the fact that they were both really shitty men, he took something from us, and I have to make this right. Nic won’t stop until I’m gone. I turned my back on him, and he’ll never be able to forgive that, but I’ll never be able to forgive myself if I let you get involved and you ended up hurt or worse.”
“I get it, Jade. I understand why you did it, I just don’t like it. I wish you’d have come to me first.”
“I know,” I whisper as a yawn pulls from deep within me. “I’m kinda wishing that now too.”
“Are you safe?”
“I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “I’m in a bedroom, but I’ve locked the door and put the dresser in front of it just in case. I also stole some douchebags gun, so there’s that. I just … I have a bad feeling.”
“I know, baby. Me too,” he murmurs. “Why don’t you try to get some sleep?”
“I doubt I’ll get any sleep here tonight.”
“You need to try,” he tells me. “You don't know when you’ll need your energy. I’ll stay on the line with you until you fall asleep.”
I nod and somehow feel just a bit safer, more content with my fucked up situation. “I love you,” I tell him. “I promise, I’ll come home as soon as I can.”
“I know you will,” Colton murmurs. “I love you too. Now go to sleep and dream about me.”
With that, the room becomes all too silent. I listen to his soft breathing as he types away on his computer, hopefully searching for something we can use to get me out of here or at least something to keep me safe.
Chapter 7
Saturday morning comes all too soon and quickly morphs into Sunday. Colton’s phone died on Friday night as I shivered on the cold floor, making myself sick. It was worth it to hear his voice through the night though, soothing me and telling me that it was all going to be okay, but I admit, when the phone died and his voice cut out, I’d never felt more alone.
I’m not going to lie, while his voice certainly eased me, it didn’t help. I didn’t get a wink of sleep, and I sure as hell didn’t get any last night either. I heard drunk morons outside my door all through the night, trying to entice me to let them in. The door handle has jiggled a total of seven times over the last two nights, and I can guarantee that it wasn’t someone showing up to check on my well being.
I stayed in my room all Saturday, refusing to exit. For a while, I wondered if I was playing hostage, or if I was really a part of this bullshit ‘family.’ Christian came by with lunch and dinner but didn’t stay. Jaren slipped a few old books under the door, all of which were non-fiction and not exactly to my taste. Though, I highly doubt a place like this has a library filled with all my favorite authors.
I’m surprised that I haven't had Colton trying to bust down the doors. I’m sure he’s worried after not having heard from me since Friday night, but it’s my mom that I should really be worried about. She is probably losing her mind and thinking the worst.
My stomach grumbles and I curse it out. Why do I have to have basic human needs? Hiding out in this room would be so much easier if I didn’t have to eat and drink.
Peering out of the cracked door, I find the hallway clear and swallow back fear. I can do this. I sat out there all day on Friday, and I survived. Yesterday was terrible being locked in that room, I can’t do it again. I’ll go insane.
I step out of my room and make sure to pull the door closed behind me then lock it. After all, if I get thrown in there again tonight, I don’t want to find any little surprises waiting for me. Keeping Scarface’s gun firmly in my hand, I begin making my way down the hall, hoping that I don’t take a wrong turn and make an even bigger mistake.
The hallway is dark, with the majority of the fluorescent lights above either smashed or blown. No windows are lighting the way, and I’m left to follow the sound coming from the main part of the building.
After two wrong turns, I finally find where I need to be and follow the smell of food only to find Jaren sitting up at the bar with two plates. I eye the plate and lick my lips, the hunger begging to send me crazy. “Ah, there she is,” Jaren says to himself, sliding the plate toward me and making me sigh in relief. If that had been someone else’s lunch, I'm pretty sure I would have shot someone. “Sit you
r ass down and eat.”
I warily glance around and take note of the people around me, take in the eyes on my body and figure out who among these people would be a threat. For the record, it’s nearly all of them.
My survival instincts kick in, and I hesitantly slide in beside Jaren, keeping myself extremely aware. “I don’t see Christian anywhere,” I comment, grabbing my fork and looking over the massive bowl of spaghetti. I barely know the guy, but he very quickly became one of my only allies in this place. Without him here, I feel vulnerable, and I don’t like it.
“He’s out on a job,” Jaren says, glancing across at me and giving me that one explanation that I’ve been looking for. Why the hell didn’t he come and deliver me food like he’d done yesterday? I guess that’s settled, though I don't know why I suddenly felt entitled to that from him. He was only doing me a kindness yesterday. It’s not as though it’s his job to make me feel at home in this dump. “Why? Have you got a bit of a crush on the guy?”
My eyes bug out of my head, and I gape at Jaren as though he just told me that he fucks pineapples on his days off. “What? No.”
“Hey, no judgment. I just think maybe he’s a little old for you and no offense, but don’t you have a little much going on right now? Besides, I doubt Christian would be down for raising some other cunt’s kid.”
I stare at him for a moment before dropping my gaze down to my lunch. “You’re insane if you think I’m into him. I just like having him around because he seems like one of the only people in this place who aren’t looking to fuck me over.”
“Good point,” Jaren laughs. “Christian is a good guy but be careful, he’s fucking lethal when he needs to be.”
I think of the story he told me about his sister on Friday and realize that he’s right. I've been around guys like Christian all my life, and I don’t doubt that there’s absolutely nothing he wouldn’t do when it came down to protecting someone he loves.
I nod, silently letting him know that I understand his warning to be careful, but for some reason, I don't think it applies to me. I get the feeling that I'm one of those people that he’d do anything to protect … At least, I think I am. Maybe that’s stupid to think like that. I only met the guy on Friday. How can I rationally expect him to be on my side?
I keep my mind busy with thoughts while I eat my lunch, being grateful for Jaren’s silence beside me. I can’t say that I’ve met many bartenders in my life, but the few that I have always seem to know when to put their two cents into a conversation and when to keep quiet. I’ve honestly never appreciated that trait more in my life.
I’m busy scraping up the last bits of my lunch when Russo appears at my side. “I thought you might have run off when no one saw you yesterday.”
“Can’t get rid of me that quickly,” I tell him, feigning confidence. “You promised me payback, and I need to make sure that you come through.”
He raises a brow. “Do you assume that my word is not trustworthy?”
I slide my empty bowl away and look Russo right in the eye. “In all fairness, the first time I met you, you branded me while I screamed to be released. I don’t trust easily, and so far, you’ve done nothing to earn my trust or prove that your word has any weight.”
Russo leans against the bar, studying me with curiosity. “You have balls for a chick your age,” he tells me. “But those balls will get you in trouble one day.”
I wave my hand around the Wolf Den. “Take a look around you,” I tell him. “My balls have already got me in trouble.”
Russo laughs, and the sound is chilling. “Fair point,” he tells me. “You want to know if my word is trustworthy, then now's your shot. I’ll make a deal with you.”
I narrow my gaze, not trusting him one bit. “What kind of deal?”
“I’m assuming that you’d like to go home at some point and attend school. Is that still the case?”
“More so than ever.”
“Alright. You tell me everything I need to know, and I’ll allow you to go home tonight.”
I watch him for a moment. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch. You’ll be watched just as you were before, and you’ll be expected to abide by the terms you agreed to when you first walked into my Den. You are a Wolf, and that must always come first. So as long as you can live with that, then you’re free to come and go as you please.”
I slip off the barstool and quickly glance at Jaren, who nods, insisting that this is as good as it’s going to get. “And all I have to do is give you everything you want on Nic?”
“Correct.”
“Haven’t I already given you everything you needed on Friday?”
“Yes, you gave me everything I needed, but now there’s all the stuff that I want.”
Understanding dawns. He wants me to completely give him up. Tell him every little piece of information that I have on Nic so that when they take him down, he stays down. Nic will never be able to crawl his way back up after Russo is through with him, and as I think over everything that I’ve lost because of Dominic Garcia, I find myself holding out my hand.
Russo takes my hand with a firm grip and shakes it. “You have yourself a deal.”
Two hours later, I stand in Russo’s office, watching as he unlocks a desk drawer while feeling like a complete bitch. I told him everything he asked for; Nic’s birth date, his mother’s name, Nic’s address, his family pet as a kid. Every last thing was shared, and I feel completely sick about it, but in the end, Nic killed my father. He lied, he cheated, he tore me to shreds, and I hate that I’ve had to go against my morals to make this happen, but Nic needs to be stopped. Despite what Colton says, this is out of our league.
Colton thinks that fire is fought with fire, but in reality, all that’s going to do is make us burn. If you want to beat fire, you need water, and you need to drown the motherfucker until it can’t possibly ignite again.
Russo gets the drawer unlocked, and as he pulls it open, I find my phone, car keys, and everything he’d taken from me when I first walked in here. “If you run …” he warns, leaving his threat wide open as he takes my things from the drawer.
“I know,” I tell him, resisting rolling my eyes, but what can I say? 48-hours with no sleep tends to bring out my inner bitch. “Your guys are watching me.”
He nods and hands over my things. “Keep your phone on you,” he tells me in that same warning tone. “I’ll be checking in on you.”
I nod, and he finally hands over my freedom, and without a backward glance, I all but run from his office.
I keep Scarface’s gun in my hand and barge through the throng of Wolves, knowing that what I did here really sucked, while also knowing that in the end, Nic is going to get what’s coming for him. He has too many contacts within the justice system, and this was my last option. I’m not going to pretend that I know what Russo is going to do, but I know that it will make up for his crimes. Whatever happens to him now, it’s in Russo’s hands. I just have to hope that Nic doesn’t come for me in the meantime.
I beeline for the front door but keep my eyes on Jaren, giving him a nod as I pass. I don’t feel like we’re friends, but I also don’t feel like we hate each other. Allies? Maybe, but all that matters is that when I get out of here, and Christian comes back from his run tonight, I trust that Jaren will let him know what’s been going on.
I don’t know why I feel that connection to Christian, but I feel like I’ve somehow taken on the role of his new little sister. It’s almost like he’s using me to fill the void that Miss Davies left when she escaped this town, and for some reason unknown to me, I’m kinda happy about it.
I break out through the door, and my feet take me faster than I could ever imagine. The Audi has been moved, and for a fleeting second, panic surges through me until I notice a small parking lot off to the side.
Relief settles through me, and I race toward it, hoping to god that nothing has happened to it. Around here, when someone sees a nice car, it doesn’t take l
ong for them to decide that it’s theirs to do with as they please, but I guess being a Wolf has its advantages. Anyone would be stupid to steal a car from this lot.
I unlock the Audi in record time and start the engine before my ass has even hit the seat. I reverse out of there, and within moments, I’m flying down the very highway that I should have taken Friday morning instead of stopping here, but as it is, I can't bring myself to regret my decision even though I know I should. I just hope the other Widows are left out of it.
After half an hour of driving, I calm myself enough to realize that in the center console, there’s a phone charger, and I let out a soft sigh. Why didn’t I realize that sooner? Of course there’s one in here. Colton wouldn’t have it any other way.
I feel around on the passenger’s seat for my discarded phone when I come back with Colton’s. I know I should probably charge mine and figure out what I've missed out on, but the curiosity of the boy’s responses to my message on Friday night has been sitting heavy on my heart. I never got a chance to read them after speaking to Colton, but a part of me was grateful.
I’ve been fearing their responses because I know they’re going to hurt if they were to turn their backs on me.
I plug in his phone and wait the agonizing few minutes for it to charge enough to power up. Why can’t someone just invent a phone that never dies?
It finally comes to life, and within seconds, his phone starts buzzing with all the notifications. I struggle to enter his passcode with one hand, but I’m determined. I need to know what they said.
Realizing there’s a mess of messages he’s missed over the last few days, I have no choice but to pull off on the side of the road to find what I'm looking for. After scrolling through the unread texts, I finally find the group message I sent on Friday night.
Opening it up, I find Kai’s response first.
Kairo - O, come on. Don’t be stupid. Just walk out of there, and we’ll sort this out. We love you. We can fix this.
Ride or Die: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 4) Page 7