“Aye, you do!” she began. “You dare to question my fidelity! Why? Simply because I truly enjoy the act? Would it please you more if I was frigid, or if I only allowed you to be with me because I knew you wanted me? Am I not to achieve pleasure from our joining? Is that not what is intended between a man and a woman who share such a love as ours? Or do you doubt me because I fairly begged you to deflower me? Do you expect I will be wanton with any man?”
“ ’Tis not that. Nay, not at all, Alainn. I am filled with uncertainty! Can you not see that? You are as beautiful a woman as God ever created. I lust for you so entirely, and you do not belong to me. Though I feel it within my soul that you are mine, you refuse to marry me.”
“And you believe marriage ensures fidelity? You’ve obviously not taken a good long look around Castle O’Brien, for the secret affairs and scandalous deceit found within would surely startle even you, Killian O’Brien!”
“Even me, now what precisely does that indicate?” He felt his own hackles being raised.
“You’ve not led the life of a monk. What is the point of becoming a gifted lover if you don’t want your partner to be pleasured by your actions? Did you question the fidelity of the miller’s daughter, for she certainly appeared to be enjoying the coupling when I found you two mid-coitus? Or the cobbler’s daughter, the tailor’s. Need I go on?”
“I did not know you knew about—” he began but then thought better of it. “Alainn, how might I undo this unpleasantness I have caused? Certainly I want you to feel pleasure during our lovemaking. There is perhaps no greater feeling to a man than to know he can make his woman reach fulfillment, to know he can satisfy her needs. I most certainly would not want you frigid. I cannot find the words to tell you how much I cherish what passes between us when we share a physical love. And I have never felt a greater satisfaction with any other woman, Alainn. I swear to you!”
“When you are wed to Mary MacDonald, when you spend each night with her here in this castle, will you still demand my fidelity?” she asked, her face crimson with anger. “Would you sentence me to a life of celibacy, expect me to remain unmarried?”
“I will not marry her, Alainn. How could I when I burn for you, when I love only you? And no, I’ll not allow you to wed another. The day you take a husband will be the day he meets my sword.” He pulled her to him, though she tried pushing him away for he had been pressed as far as he would allow. “So you are able to admit your jealousy in my regards, but I am not to be allowed the same freedom? You have told me you fear for Mary MacDonald, that you feel you might use your powers to harm her. Am I not simply stating the same? I do not possess the abilities you have, but my sword does not miss its target. Are you being any less unreasonable than you now see me?”
Still quivering from her deep emotion and burst of temper, Alainn put her arms around his neck. He held her for a moment before she spoke.
“Killian, I must tell you a truth that each and every man alive would be wise to learn and to heed. Though a man may be almost entirely ruled by his body and many often allow their body rather than their mind to think for them, ’tis not usually the way with women. Aye, to be sure, there are women who simply seek out men for physical pleasure, but most often a woman’s desires are led by her mind and her heart. It is when she truly loves a man that she derives the greatest physical attraction and satisfaction. Heed these words, remember them well and know with no uncertainty, my heart is yours and therefore so too is my body. Only yours.”
“Please forgive me, Lainna. I want no quarrels. There is too much uncertainty before us; we must remain united in our love. Don’t be angry with me for I cannot bear when you pull away from me. And tell me that what I have said will not affect how it is between us when we are one.”
“I should not have become so ill-tempered, for I know only too well what jealousy does to a soul. Please do not doubt my faithfulness to you, Killian. I promise you I will not lie with another man unless he is my husband. Not willingly. But should your uncle choose a husband for me, we would undoubtedly need to abide by his wishes or face the consequences, for he is still the chieftain and his word is still law. You are not above reproach. You may be his nephew, but you too will surely be made to bend to his will.”
“ ’Tis high time I leave my uncle’s rule, for ’tis a good many subjects we no longer agree upon.” Anxious to begin their day’s journey, Killian changed the subject entirely. “I will have the servants fill the tub with warm water for you, for a short soak will surely ease your tenderness. A day on horseback may not be so pleasant if you are hurting in such a manner. Perhaps you might attempt riding sidesaddle?”
“I tried once when I was a girl, it was most uncomfortable. And one has so little control of the horse.”
“Aye well, ’tis to be hoped the ride won’t be too disagreeable for you. We will break fast before we leave. There are many horses within the stables; you may choose whatever one you desire, for we will make better time if we ride separately.”
She only nodded as he headed for the door.
Chapter Nine
As they left the castle grounds, Killian upon Storm and Alainn on a horse selected from the expansive stables, Killian showed off his home. He pointed out the view of the sea from the edge of his land, the boundless rich fields, and rolling hills dotted with sheep. Servants and field workers bowed to him or waved as they passed by. He had a warm smile for all, and Alainn knew what a well-respected and well-liked chieftain he would one day become.
Once past the borders of Killian’s land, they approached a castle of immense proportions. It was by far the largest, grandest stone building Alainn had ever seen. Even the fields surrounding it boasted of many workers and teams of oxen. But, it was the castle itself that Alainn could not keep from staring upon.
“What clan lies claim to that giant?” she asked, sitting high on the dark brown mare she’d chosen.
“ ’Tis Castle O’Rorke. Lady Siobhan’s parents’ castle. Niall O’Rorke is the most powerful and wealthy chieftain in all of Ireland. His clan and my mother’s have been alleged since the forming of the clans centuries ago. Their alliance has withstood many battles and wars between the clans and the English.”
“I knew Lady Siobhan was from the same area of Ireland as your mother’s kin, but I had no notion their lands bordered one another. Riley and Rory’s kin are most influential, then?”
“Aye, the word of Niall O’Rorke is questioned by no one. He is the descendant of a once great Irish king. A druid king.”
“So ’tis the paternal side of the family that were druids?”
“No, both sides apparently. Niall’s wife was a Fitzgerald.”
“Of the Kildare Fitzgerald’s? The Fitzgeralds who once held the lordship of all of Ireland?”
Killian nodded. “Aye, they still remain most prominent and influential. And ’tis said they plan to defy the English once more if they continue their attempts to rule.”
As they drew nearer to the enormous castle, Alainn asked, “Will you stop to pay your respects to the O’Rorke?”
“I had thought to, but I am certain he would have left to attend Rory and Riley’s birthday celebrations. He and his wife are of an advancing age and would need a goodly time to make the journey.”
“And what children do they have besides Lady Siobhan? I know of a sister she lost when she was younger, but are there sons and other daughters as well?”
“Lady Siobhan does not speak of her family often. Though she has lived at Castle O’Brien longer than she lived with her parents, she misses them terribly and longs to return home.”
“Aye, I sensed that as well.”
“There were four sons and two daughters born to the O’Rorkes. The eldest son, Conn, died in a battle of the clans. It was with Clan Kavanagh. My own mother lost two brothers in that battle. And two of the O’Rorke’s sons, Collum and Finn, died the same day my father’s castle was attacked, the same day my own brother died.”
“Your cl
ans are not only alleged politically, but in tragedy as well.”
“Aye, and there is a deep friendship and respect toward one another. My mother and Lady Siobhan were childhood friends. And when my father came to rule as chieftain of my mother’s clan, he was accepted without question by Niall O’Rorke and his family.”
“And the fourth son?”
“His name was Teige. He was once a valued friend to my father. ’Tis uncertain what became of him, but there was an apparent quarrel between him and his father. He had already been named joint chieftain with Niall and stood to inherit all of this land, the castle, and the many possessions, but the disagreement was so great between them, the son left and has not been heard of since. To the best of my knowledge, there is no one left to inherit the castle or the land. I know Niall has spoken to both Rory and Riley. If they desired it, one of them would become earl of all this should Teige never return.”
“ ’Tis sad to think a rift could be so severe it could not be mended.”
“Aye, it has left the elderly couple grieving still. I think they never recovered entirely from the loss of their youngest child, their daughter Shylie.”
“How did she die? Was it an illness that took her life?”
“No, a far more tragic and violent death befell her. Lady Siobhan seldom speaks of the events surrounding her younger sister’s death. She fell victim to a demented soul, for she was found murdered, strangled in a wooded area on their property. I am told she was very beautiful and angelic in disposition, and loved by all who met her, was said to be the favorite child of both her parents. She was but ten and three when she taken.”
“How tragic for them! I thought Lady Siobhan’s sister was much younger, the way your aunt spoke of her.”
“Aye, she always referred to her as her wee baby sister. She possibly remembered her more clearly as a youngster, for she had already married my uncle and was living at Castle O’Brien at the time of her sister’s death. She was ripe with child, carrying my cousins, when she received the news of her sister’s murder. My uncle said she nearly lost them, her pain and despair were so great. She spent the last two months of her term in bed, barely able to move for fear she’d miscarry. ’Twas most fortunate she did not lose them,” he said bitterly, “for she was never able to see another child live past a few hours’ time. She bore a daughter, I’m told, who lived only moments, and she wanted one so desperately. That loathsome curse!”
They rode in silence toward the castle gates. Killian called out to one of the guards who recognized him.
“Killian O’Brien, ’tis good to see you, lad!” the guard shouted, coming to meet them. “Have you come to secure your position as chieftain of your father’s land?”
“Not as yet, Michael, but it will be truth soon enough.”
“And is this your lady? I have heard through the O’Rorke that your uncle has found a suitable match. Your lady’s a Scot if I’ve managed the information correctly?”
“Aye well, this is my lady, but she’s as Irish as you and me, Michael. I fear my uncle and I disagree on what woman would suit me best. ’Tis Lady Alainn before you.”
The man bowed in reverence to Alainn, and she felt her cheeks grow warm as she nodded to the man. She’d never been addressed as a lady before, and certainly no one had ever bowed to her. She was not entirely in agreement with Killian’s deception.
“So, this is your wife, sir?”
“That too will be a certainty soon enough, and we will return to my lands and my castle when the celebrations of my cousins have concluded. Speaking of which, have Niall and Katherine left for Castle O’Brien?”
“Aye, two days previous. Lady Katherine has been of failing health of late. Her mind wanders often back to the time when all her children still lived. ’Tis a sad state and a great encumbrance to our chieftain, for their great love and devotion have always been evident.”
“I will meet him then, when we get back to my uncle’s lands.”
Alainn removed her cap to refasten the knot in her golden hair when the man glanced her way. He grew pale and staggered backward.
“Michael are you quite well? You look as though you are ailing.”
“ ’Tis like lookin’ into the face of a spirit,” he whispered. “She resembles Maiden Shylie so. You would not remember her,” he said louder, managing to compose himself, “for you would have been a wee infant when she met her misfortune. But I’d wager much if you’d known her, you’d agree.”
“Lady Siobhan has also spoken of the resemblance.”
“Aye, ’tis uncanny, and in truth the eeriest of sensations has overcome me. Milord and Milady will surely be unnerved by the resemblance if they have never met your lady.”
“I don’t believe they have.”
Alainn shook her head and said softly, “No, I have never met Lady Siobhan’s kin.”
The man’s eyes widened.
“The voice is identical. Are you kin of the O’Rorke’s, Milady?”
“Alainn’s kin are from the lands near Castle ‘O’Brien, nowhere near the Clan O’Rorke.”
The man continued to shake his head in disbelief as they rode away.
“That was most certainly odd for Michael to be so unsettled by the mere sight of you,” Killian said, frowning slightly. “I have seen the man in battle with my father the day our castle was in siege. Even though he was injured, he was dauntless.”
Alainn did not respond. They rode on quietly, each deep in their own thoughts.
They spent the entire day pushing onward, speaking at times, and at other times enjoying a comfortable silence. They stopped once to sit upon the soft green hillside overlooking a scenic valley and partake in food the castle’s cook sent with them. Alainn delighted in the solitude they shared, knowing that by this time tomorrow they would be dealing with the O’Brien’s temper. They sat close together, bodies touching, allowing themselves a few precious moments of affection. Alainn touched the amulet that still hung from Killian’s neck. He reached as if to remove it from his neck.
“No!” she cried, deeply disturbed. “You must never allow this to leave your neck, not even to bathe.” She smoothed it back into place on his chest. “You must promise me that, Killian. Make a solemn vow to me that you will not remove it. I must charm it again,” she murmured, “to be certain it protects you.”
“What have you seen, Alainn?” When she turned her head away, he insisted, “You must tell me.” He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and she looked up at him with fearful eyes. “Please tell me, Alainn. Whatever it is, surely ’twould be more beneficial to know what lies before me.”
Her chin trembled as she whispered, “I have seen you dead, Killian. You, and Rory and Riley as well. In a battle with the English. But I know not when or where.”
Realization dawned on his handsome face. “Sure ’twas not your love that brought you back to me that morning in Galway. You would have allowed me to leave! Your vision forced your hand.”
“Aye, but it was not the whole of it. My love for you would never allow harm to befall you. For then, I would surely die as well.”
“That was why you were so desperate when you thought I had left. You felt obligated to warn me.”
“It would kill me to see you die, Killian. I have already seen it within my mind, and my heart shall never heal from the sight of it! Please, promise me you will not remove the amulet, and if I see more details, you must heed my word without question. Do I have your word on it?” She leaned in toward him, but he rose abruptly and went to ready his horse.
“Aye, I’ll heed you well, Alainn,” he said in a chilly tone.
She crossed the distance between them and put her arms around his waist, leaned her head against his back. He stiffened in her embrace.
“It was not simply obligation that made me come to you, Killian. You are everything to me. My love for you is so great, so all-consuming it frightens me. How am I to allow you to marry another, to be parted from you forever, when being across
a room from you feels like an impossible distance?”
He turned and looked into her eyes, recognizing the torment in their depths, and kissed her with a desperation and possessiveness she returned without hesitation.
“You must allow me to charm your amulet once more before we go on any further,” she insisted.
Killian knew it was pointless to argue when she had her mind made up. If she believed he was in peril, her magic may truly be his only hope. Even during the charming process, she did not remove the amulet, so he concluded he was surely in grave danger.
When their blood had been mixed and the metal singed, Alainn blew on until it was cool enough to sit against his skin. She traced the scar upon his chest as though it belonged to her.
“This mark does not repulse you, Alainn?”
“No, I adore it.”
“You adore this gruesome reminder of my ordeal?”
“ ’Tis a proud battle scar you bear, Killian O’Brien.” They both smiled as she repeated the words she had used when they were just children. “I helped heal you. I feel a great possessiveness.”
“I burn for you, Alainn. When will this fire be sated? I can think of little else when I am near you.”
She impulsively reached for the fastenings of his trews, but remembering their rift from the morning, let her hands fall to her sides.
“Alainn do not allow my cross words this morning deter your desire. I would be greatly grieved if it hampered your eagerness to love me. But the hour grows late, and you have admitted you are tender from our previous joining.”
“Then we will make time, for I feel the horses could run wildly for a time.”
“And what of your tenderness?”
“You will be cautious and gentle with me this time, but next time,” she added saucily, “I will not ask for gentleness.”
Chapter Ten
They were within a few hours’ ride of Castle O’Brien when Killian began steering his horse off course.
“Where are you headed, Killian?”
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