Then there was Mary MacDonald. She was not an objectionable woman. If not for his deep feelings for Alainn, he might believe she was a suitable match for himself. If not for what he’d learned about Alainn and his uncle, he would not be tormenting his mind with this one-sided conversation. He would be with her now, willing to throw away all that he had once believed so important. It now seemed trivial, inconsequential.
There was a soft knock upon the door to his bedchamber. A feminine knock. His heart began beating wildly. Perhaps it was Alainn. He leapt to the door and flung it open. Mary MacDonald stood quite still, looking rather nervous.
“Killian, I thought I should come to see how you were faring. Your uncle informed me you were in an altercation some days ago. It is to be hoped you are well enough to attend the feast this night.”
He looked at her shiny gold dress, her dark hair piled upon her head, a few loose curls hanging prettily down her back. Her hands were clasped tightly together, and she nervously twisted them when he did not respond. He found himself thinking of his own mother. She would have chastised him severely for his unbecoming behavior toward this girl.
“Aye, I am quite nearly recovered,” he said meekly. “I shall be at the banquet this night.”
“Should I wait for you, then? Might we walk to the banquet together?”
“Aye, if you would find that to your liking, it would be agreeable to me.”
As they walked together, she placed her arm through his and smiled up at him. They had gone only a short distance, when they came face to face with Alainn, who was carrying a tray containing many small vials. Upon seeing Killian and Mary, she glanced at the direction from whence they’d come. Her eyes, already deeply saddened, seemed to grow even more disheartened with the knowledge they had surely come from Killian’s bedchamber.
“Milord. Milady,” she curtsied softly, making certain the vials stayed put on the tray. She intended to simply walk on after the brief exchange, without making eye contact with Killian, but the woman called after her.
“Alainn! I am so verra pleased to see you have returned. Rory and Riley seemed uncertain. But, I believed you would come back, for how could the castle be left without its healer?”
“This castle employs a physician now, Milady. A healer is perhaps no longer necessary. But, I must take these elixirs to Lady Siobhan. She has asked to be excused from the feast this night, and I must attend to her.”
She curtsied once more and started off, but the feminine voice called again.
“Might I come see you on the morrow? I would be most interested in your remedies and your herb garden, if this dreary weather ever lifts. I find myself growing homesick for Scotland, for ’tis not so prone to such weather, though Riley tells me this is not common to have such a long spell of objectionable weather. I have heard much about your herb garden. Riley tells me it rivals any healer’s garden. Would you be willing to show me when the sun shines again?”
“If it is to your liking, Milady. Sure, ’tis your choice.” She started down the hall.
“Alainn?”
“Aye, Milady?”
“Please call me Mary. I insist.”
“Aye, if it is as you wish.” This time, she fairly ran down the hall.
Killian had avoided looking at Alainn, and it made her heart ache. She found herself torn between despising Mary and feeling drawn to her, for she wasn’t unlikable. However, the thought of what the two of them had surely been doing to pass the rain-filled afternoon left her in tears again. She tried to compose herself before knocking upon Lady Siobhan’s door, but the lady opened the door while she was still dabbing her eyes.
“Alainn, dear, Alainn! I had heard of your return. I have missed you so much, my dear girl!” She opened her arms in a warm embrace. Her affection proved to be too much, and Alainn burst into tears, weeping openly before the chieftain’s wife. “There, there, child,” she crooned. “Come inside with me, and we’ll have a womanly heart to heart. Tell me all that has you so distressed.”
They entered the room and shut the door. The kind woman stood with her arms around her while she wept.
“Forgive me, Milady. I should not be so prone to emotion. ’Tis most improper to carry on so in front of a lady. I have brought you the remedies you require. I will leave you to your rest.”
“You will do no such thing, Alainn. You will tell me what has you so tearful!”
“You needn’t be burdened with my plight, Milady. ’Tis nothing, or at the very least, there is nothing to be done about it. I should get back to my potions before that man takes over entirely.”
“That man? The physician my husband has procured. Is he the reason for your despair? Has he been unkind to you?”
“No, truth be told, he has treated me fairly, perhaps more fairly than I to him. ’Twill take a time to adjust to sharing the space with him, but he is not opposed to healers as many physicians are.”
“So what then, my sweet wee girl? What has you so saddened? I think I’ve never seen those blue eyes so filled with pain and hopelessness. Through the years you have been a bright ray of sunlight in my life, your eyes always so full of joy and gladness. What has taken the light from those sapphires?”
“ ’Tis nothing I can discuss, Milady, and nothing that any amount of discussion can mend.”
The gracious woman patted the spot beside her on the settee.
“Come sit with me, and we won’t speak of what has you so maudlin. We’ll just talk of other things, for you look as though you need the company of a woman. I have felt just that way so many times in my life. I have longed for a daughter since I was old enough to think of such things. It was not to be, and though I love my mother dearly and we have always been close at heart, she lives far from here. Even now that she is here in the castle, she is not entirely present as she once was. ’Tis a sad thing to have her look at me as though she is uncertain who I truly am.”
With that, tears started to pour down her own cheeks, and Alainn took her hand. They wept together.
“You are so like my own departed sister, Alainn. I know I have told you so many times, I am certain you must feel I am a foolish woman to speak of it as often as I do. But, when first I saw you, I thought my eyes played a cruel trick, you were so like her. Your coloring. Your smile. Your hair.” She reached out to smooth the soft hair tied back in a plait. “Your eyes are your own, though. And you were always somewhat more spirited than my wee sister, Shylie. But, your expressions and the way you wrinkle your nose when something displeases you, ’tis as if she still lives when I spend time with you.
“I know how that must sound to you. My husband always discouraged me from talking about it, for I think it disturbed him. He likely thought I was losing my mind. After the loss of all my babies, I thought so more than a time or two, myself. ’Tis fortunate I had my lads to carry me through. Rory, I am close with. He speaks to me, tells me his heart. But Riley is his father’s son. He is an O’Brien through and through, and belongs to his father, I think.” She stared off, deep in thought. Alainn touched her hand.
“Not so entirely as he would have everyone believe for Riley loves you dearly, as well. ’Tis only he feels he must impress his father.”
“Aye, I know it. You know so much of my sons and my nephew. You were always a friend to them, though my husband did not always approve. I would look out upon the moors and watch you with my sons and my nephew, and it would make my heart glad. To look at you and Rory, to me it was as though I had crossed a bridge through time, as though I could look at my younger brother and sister. It has brought me great comfort many times, for they are both lost to me now.”
“Aye, I heard of the discourse between your father and brother.”
“You have heard of my family? Who has told you of them? Was it my sons?”
“Forgive me, Milady. I have misspoken. ’Twas not my place to repeat what should have been kept within. I am not usually without tact. You must accept my apologies.”
She stood t
o go, sat the vials upon the bedside table, and collected the tray. Lady Siobhan stepped in front of her path.
“I am not displeased to hear you speak of my family, Alainn. In truth, I think it would be a comfort to speak of my brother. My husband does not care to hear of problems for which he has no solution. And I cannot speak to my mother, it grieves her so, and she has lost so many children. I cannot even speak my brother’s name to Father. He will never forgive himself, for he feels he has driven him away. But, few know how much I contributed to him leaving as well. I should have been there for him; he went through a most difficult time.
“I was so engrossed in my own life. My sons were only young children, and I was trying to adjust to living with a man whose opinions differed so much from my own. I was selfish, and now I am filled with chagrin to know I will surely never be able to tell my brother how much he meant to me. The last night I spoke with him, his heart was so grieved; I should have told him how very dear he was to me.”
“I’m sure he knew, for you are a kind and loving woman, a doting mother, and you still grieve so openly for your sister. He would have known, nay he did know. I feel it within my heart.”
“Oh Alainn! You are a treasure! You always gladden my heart. ’Tis what Rory used to say about you. He said you made his heart glad, and you most certainly gladdened Killian’s heart. Whatever you said to him all those years ago made him come back to us. And what a fine man he has become. You were once close to him. Have you spoken to him lately? Do you know what has happened between him and my husband, for neither will confide in me? But, I fear there is a divide so great it will not be capable of mending. I believe Killian intends to leave our clan over it.”
The girl’s skin turned a sickly hue.
“But, he will surely leave and go back to his home! He must become chieftain and live in his father’s castle! ’Tis such a grand, majestic castle, and he has always been so proud of the fact he will one day return to follow in his father’s footsteps. ’Tis how it must be!”
“It is a magnificent place, and I had always hoped he would return, but I think whatever has transpired between the two of them has colored Killian’s way of thinking.”
“He cannot throw it all away! He must not!”
“You care for him very much.” She looked intently at the young woman. “Are you in love with him?”
Alainn turned away, but Lady Siobhan took her hand. The tears began once more, this time accompanied by heaving sobs. Alainn was barely able to speak, her despair was so deep, but she finally managed to tell her companion what lay within her heart.
“I know how foolish this must seem to you. I know it is an impossible love, that nothing can come of it, but I love him just the same.”
“Oh my dear girl-child, love is never foolish, and the heart cannot be ruled by the mind. Perhaps we wouldn’t be made to feel the pain if our minds were stronger, but they never are. Does he know? Have you told him?”
“Aye, he knows. But, whatever we shared is now over. It was ill-fated from the beginning and is now ended with no hope of a reprieve.”
“And he feels for you the same way? I have suspected since you were children that one day your hearts would belong to one another.”
“But, he will wed the MacDonald girl, and I am to wed the farmer O’Hara. It is as it should be. And he will return to his castle, and the best I can hope for is that one day when he thinks of me he will hold no contempt in his heart.”
“You must fight for him, if you truly love him. You must fight for him!”
Alainn continued looking somber.
“Fight for him. To what end? To marry a commoner? The cost is too great, and the chieftain would never allow it, and how am I to compete with her? She is a lady, with all her grace and breeding, a high station and a title. I pale in comparison to what she is.”
Lady Siobhan’s face set with determination.
“You have his heart. ’Tis a tremendous advantage. And you have me on your side. Together, we will show Killian who he should wed.”
Alainn appeared less than convinced. “But, he would lose his title, his land, all that is important to him.”
“Ballocks.”
Alainn laughed through her tears.
“Pardon me!” Lady Siobhan said, a twinkle in her eye. “I doubt Killian’s mother’s kin would denounce him because he chose to marry a commoner. They are reasonable people; they admired his father. I am certain they will be anxious to have him, no matter what wife he brings. And, once they meet you I am certain they would have no reservations about you. You are beautiful, educated, full of grace and compassion, and—” she took Alainn’s hands in her own “—he loves you. When a man truly loves a woman, he is better for it. A better man and a better ruler.”
Alainn dared allow her heart a trickle of hope. “But what of a dowry? I have nothing to offer as inducement for a clan to accept me as Killian’s wife.”
“My father is the wealthiest man in Ireland and chieftain of the strongest most influential clan. He has but two grandchildren, and both appear loyal to their father and intent on staying here at Castle O’Brien. My father adores Killian. He would offer what coin is necessary if he wants you as his wife.”
“But, why would your father want to do such a kindness for me?”
“Because I would ask it of him, and I am most certainly his only living child.”
“I could never ask such a favor, such immeasurable generosity.”
“I would like nothing more, so we must speak with Killian,” she insisted, seeming well-satisfied with the arrangement. “Tonight would be as good a time as any.”
The younger girl sank back down into a chair, once more wearing a dejected expression.
“Killian is not willing to speak with me. I have lost his trust and kept many secrets from him. I am not entirely confident that he even desires to be near me any longer, much less want to marry me. He is at the feast with his betrothed. I believe they have grown close; most likely they spent this day in his bed. And, I am to be wed myself in only a few days.”
The lady appeared to be deep in thought after hearing this information.
“Since you are to be married in only a few days’ time, then that is the first situation we must contend with. Leave that to me. You must find a way to communicate with my nephew, and between the two of us, we will make certain he knows what woman is the better match.” She hesitated a moment before asking, “Are you lovers?”
“Pardon me, Milady?”
“The question is simple enough, Alainn. You are a healer and therefore know a great deal about anatomy. I know you have an understanding of the term, since you have attended births and know more than many a maiden. You are aware that a child enters the womb the same course it exits. You surely know what passes between a man and a woman. So, I will ask once more. Are you lovers? Have you and Killian been intimate? Has he bedded you?”
“I...we...I think...” Alainn blushed until she thought her head might erupt in flames. The older woman chuckled.
“I must conclude the answer is aye. And I think that is another stroke in your favor.” The girl looked puzzled, so the older woman explained, “Once a man has had you in that manner, they become most possessive of you. Even if they don’t have strong feelings for you, which I do not believe to be the case with Killian, they have a most difficult time accepting that another man will take what they believe is theirs.”
“But he may have been with Mary in the same manner!”
“Nonsense. Killian has spent the better part of his return so filled with drink I doubt he would have been capable of performing.”
“Aye, though I have mostly tried to avoid those appealing green eyes, they did seem quite blood-red. And I thought I detected the scent of ale. But, I’ve another conundrum. He already believes I have been with another man.”
“And have you?”
“No, but I led him to believe so.”
“ ’Tis a strange way to act toward the man y
ou claim to love!”
“But ’twas a deception spurred by good intentions, for I thought it would ensure he’d marry the Scottish woman and procure his position and title.”
“Your love for him is great, but now we must work together to make certain the two of you find happiness.”
“The chieftain will oppose this without question.” The girl trembled when she spoke of the man.
“I do not fear my husband.”
“But, I do.”
“Then you shall leave those dealings with me. Before long, I will have him seeing things my way.”
Chapter Fourteen
The woman appeared most excited about the scheme. Alainn wanted to become caught up in the excitement of it, but she could not forget the hurt in Killian’s eyes when he’d realized she’d been deceiving him. She felt herself sinking into the doldrums once more. The woman patted the girl’s cheek in a loving, affectionate manner.
“Don’t despair, Alainn, the O’Brien men don’t know what a match they have before them. It will be far more entertaining than any of the bouts they have scheduled. Now, if this blasted rain would ever quit, we could make certain the men folk are kept occupied while we set our plan into motion.”
Alainn looked toward the window and willed the clouds to disperse, forcing the sun to peek through the veil that had concealed it for nearly three days. She hadn’t used her powers since the night of the guards’ wounds; it was enthralling to exert them again. The sun was shining, though it was near to sunset. A knowing smile crossed Lady Siobhan’s lips.
“ ’Tis your amulet Killian wears around his neck.”
“Aye, ’tis mine. ’Twas my mother’s.”
“The farrier’s wife?” the woman quizzed, an odd expression on her face. “Though I did not know her, everyone talked of how unusual it was for her to carry a child at such an advanced age. I never thought of her as druid. She seemed entirely Christian to me, though I suppose she might have kept it closeted, for many are fearful or ashamed to admit they adhere to the old religion. I never sensed a connection with her, though, and your father is not a druid, is he?”
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