Liberating Barriers

by Roman Shepp

  She almost cried, it was so sad. What a horrible person she was. Maybe it was for the best that Tara had gone away with Saeed. If she had stayed with Jane, the child only would have been misguided. For all her intelligence and drive, Jane had made some really stupid mistakes through life. Sometimes it seemed the only thing she did get right was Frank. When they were good, they were good, and for all his faults he was the only person to have made her feel something intense, something uncontrollable. Now that the world was ending what the hell was the problem with indulging her sins a little? They were all as good as dead anyway. What good had it brought her? She was locked in a cage, her only friends in the world were dead. The only thing she had left was Frank.

  “Okay, I admit it, I guess I do miss you a little bit,” she said eventually after Frank had goaded her for a long time.

  “I knew it!”

  “That is, I missed the times when we were together. When I actually felt like I was a part of your life. I miss how you made me feel special, how when you looked in my eyes I actually could believe you loved me.” Her words were bittersweet, and as she spoke them wistful memories tugged at her heart.

  Lowering her face down again, she closed her eyes and tried forcing the horrid thoughts out of her mind. That night when the world went to hell she swore to herself that she never would return to loving Frank. Now that she was with him again she could do nothing but return to that state where the two of them were together. It was so easy for her to love him. She had been doing it for the best part of her adult life, and it came so naturally to her. He was a monster. He had attacked her, pursued her through the city, and he only ever looked out for himself. But he was alive. He still was with her. Tony had died. Saeed was as good as dead. Was she supposed to live through the rest of this life alone? Maybe there was something to be said for better the devil you know…

  “Do you want to come with me?” Frank asked in an anguished whisper. Jane looked up, surprised to see Frank standing on the outside of the cage. The door to his own cage swung open. Somehow, he had found a way out. Phil still was sleeping. The night was still.

  “How did you get out?”

  “Don’t worry about that now. I’m not going to wait for these people to decide if they’re going to set me free. I’m done with all this. If you want to stay in this cage, then be my guest, but I’m going.”

  Jane found herself nodding. Frank worked at the thick rope that held her cage door closed. Sweat poured down his face and soon the door swung open and Jane stepped out of the cage.

  “Come on. I don’t want them to find us,” Frank said. Jane hesitated, looking down at Phil.

  “I can’t leave without him.”

  Frank walked up to her and held her arms, forcing her to look at him. “That doesn’t sound like the Jane I know. What happened to the ruthless Jane? The one who would do anything she could to get ahead in life? Once upon a time you would have done anything I asked, because you knew that I always know best,” he said.

  His hot musky breath touched her skin. The heat from his body pressed against hers, and her body responded the way it always had done. Why was she so weak? She should have fought him more, should have resisted the urges of her body, but she was so exhausted. She was tired of fighting, and maybe the only thing to do was to be resigned to this fate.

  “You’ve got one chance, Jane. You can either leave with me now and be free, or you can stay in that cage and hope these freaks let you go.”

  Jane took one last look back at Phil, wishing that she was stronger.

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered. He went on snoring. Frank’s hand slid down into hers and he led her away. Jane felt tears well up in her eyes. She had betrayed herself and everything else. What would Tony think of her walking away with Frank? But she had to get free of that cage.

  As they disappeared into the forest, Jane shouted at herself in the recesses of her mind, trying to tell herself this was wrong, that she should turn back and get back in that cage. Wasn’t she just as bad as Rosa for leaving Phil behind? But this was the only way she could be safe. At least she knew Frank. Frank was a survivor, and the two of them had been in love.

  Without Tony to guide her, Jane fell back into old habits. It was easy to be with Frank. Over the years her body and mind had grown used to the idea of being with him.

  “You know you made the right decision here. It’s good to see that you haven’t completely lost your mind. I was afraid, you know, that night. Things got intense and maybe we both did and said some things that we now regret. I think that this could be a new beginning for us. I still believe in all the things I did when I was younger. I’d never betray my principles. You should know me better than that. I think that night I was just so angry at the world, at all the people who were throwing their lives away. There was just no need to turn to violence and rage. If we all had remained calm and worked together, the world wouldn’t have fallen apart like it did. I made some mistakes, but this is for the best. We can’t help anyone if we’re locked in a cage, and I don’t care what Rosa says. I’m not going to trust anyone who locks people up without talking to them first,” Frank said.

  “This doesn’t mean anything is going to happen. I just didn’t want to be in that cage anymore,” Jane said.

  “Of course not. I wouldn’t think otherwise. But I wouldn’t be so sure about that. You know there’s something between us, Jane, something unbreakable. That’s why things began between us in the first place, remember? We just couldn’t resist each other. Never has a woman made me so weak. I can still feel it too. I bet you do too, deep down.”

  “And what about all the things you said to the others? About me being an opportunistic whore?”

  The trees shaded the moonlight, so Jane only could see Frank’s vague outline, but she imagined he was smirking.

  “I just said that to try getting under your skin. Parts of it were true, though. I know that you had ambitions of your own. There’s no harm in it. In fact, it’s one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place. You hurt me, Jane, and I don’t just mean when you cracked that award on the back of my head. I thought we were a team. Yes, it was a moment of panic, but we should have stayed together. If we had, maybe we wouldn’t be walking around in these godforsaken woods.”

  Before Jane could reply, there was a loud rustling and a group of people came at them through the forest. Neither she nor Frank could fight back before they were being pulled away, their hands pulled behind their backs. Jane grimaced, envying Phil for being stuck in the cage. At first, she assumed these people were from the camp she just had escaped from, yet it quickly became apparent that they were from an entirely different group. Then she heard the name Hugo, and her blood turned to ice.

  Chapter Six

  When the day broke, Saeed wished that it all had been a bad dream. Then again, he wished that this entire life had been a bad dream. He would have given anything to be back in bed with Nadya and Aaminah. If only time had been reversed…if only he had the chance to have one more moment with them. Sometimes, when he closed his eyes, he still could feel Aaminah in his arms. Although it was getting harder and harder to remember, much to his dismay.

  Tara woke up beside him. The two of them had been given a small cabin to themselves. They had to sleep on the floor, but that didn’t faze either of them as they had been used to camping out in the wild. Tara seemed in better spirits than Saeed. Perhaps that was because she wasn’t so scared. Saeed wondered what she truly thought about all this. This must have been the biggest group of people she had seen since she had lost her parents. For Saeed, it was a group filled with danger and death. He knew he had to tread carefully with what he did and said. One wrong move could bring the wrath of Hugo down upon him, and then he would be helpless. But then, Saeed wondered what help he truly could be to these people. Their views were deeply entrenched, and he was just one man. Hugo had give
n them a way to live, and they all seemed to buy into it.

  It was evident in people such as Charlotte and Adam. There was no doubt in their minds that Hugo knew the right way to live. Saeed could preach to them, but how could he hope to convert them? He’d have to work surreptitiously, quietly trying to turn heads and make them see reason. It was perhaps easy for them to believe Hugo when they were so sheltered here. Many of them hadn’t seen the true horrors of the world, not that he was sure it would change their minds anyway. Nadya had told him that this was the right way to live, that this was his purpose. Yet, he had no idea how to go about it while still keeping himself and Tara safe.

  It would have been different if Tony and Jane were beside him, of course. For so long he had relied on them to see him. There had been days when he barely had gone on living. Days when he would have happily given up his hold on the world, but Tony had prevented him. Tony had saved his life more than once and Saeed felt guilty for not being able to return the debt. Then there was Jane who had taken an interest in Tara. The two were beginning to have a close bond with each other.

  “Do I need to be a spy again today?” Tara asked.

  “I think so,” Saeed replied. “I’m worried about the teacher. She believes in everything she’s been taught here, but she’s been taught the wrong things. These people are going to hurt others. They think they’re doing it for a good cause, but they’re wrong. Try making friends with the other kids, but don’t tell them where we’re from or what we’re doing here. We need to try blending in.”

  “Where are Martha and Belinda?”

  “I’m going to find out today,” he said.

  They got up and had some breakfast. Once again, the food was plentiful, with lots of sweet fruits on display outside. People were able to come up and pick whatever they wanted. There was an abundance of supplies, and Saeed wondered if they knew how lucky they were. They greeted him cheerfully. To see them like this, it was difficult to believe that they all were capable of so much harm. However, there was a rotting stench on all of them. Hugo had drilled into their minds and twisted their beliefs to serve his own agenda. This place could have been a paradise. Instead it was rotting at its core.

  After breakfast, Saeed walked Tara over to the school and watched her sit down. Charlotte smiled sweetly at him again. Saeed tried to think of Nadya. He swore that he would be devoted to her until the day he died, and he was going to keep that vow, no matter what.

  Turning, he bumped into another woman.

  “I’m sorry,” he said.

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m Natasha, by the way. You’re new, right?”

  “Yes. I’m Saeed, and that’s Tara.”

  “She’s a cute girl. Those are my boys over there,” Natasha said, waving to them. They waved back, like an idyllic family should.

  “If you need anything, let me know,” she said. All of them were so friendly. All of them were willing to do anything to make him feel welcome. Still, there was a dark undercurrent to them all. As soon as Tara was in school, Saeed made his way to the infamous box.

  Since the community had been here for years many of the buildings had been built a long time ago. There had been tents erected recently, though, to accommodate the newcomers. Because of events elsewhere there had been an influx of new people coming to this community. There even would be a place for Saeed and Tara if they wanted. It didn’t seem all bad. Saeed didn’t want to surrender, but if the fight couldn’t be won, then perhaps it was better for him to think about the future and how he and Tara were going to be safe. Part of him wished he didn’t know the truth about this community. Ignorance was blissful. Another part secretly hoped that Martha and Belinda were mistaken, that their minds had been warped and there was no conspiracy to march to the city and wage war against the remnants of the population there.

  Saeed walked to the rear of the camp. A few people were milling around, going about their daily business. As per the norm, they all greeted him with a smile. Saeed nodded in their direction and continued.

  He started hearing the heartbreaking noises as he grew closer to the rear edge of the camp. He heard the tapping on the sides of the boxes, and the weeping. He walked past a large cabin, and then he saw the two boxes, which resembled coffins, made from dark wood. Air holes fashioned into the tops, but aside from that there were no openings at all. They looked uncomfortably small. Saeed felt stifled just by looking at them and couldn’t bear to think what Martha and Belinda were going through in there. Standing by them was a man. He nodded to Saeed.

  “Are they alright in there?” Saeed asked. The man grunted.

  “They’re doing as well as they should be.”

  “Can I see them?”

  “It’s not their time to be let out yet. I just gave them their bread and water. Come back this afternoon when they’re let out for their daily stretch.”

  “They only get one?”

  “Of course. That’s all they’re allowed.”

  “Isn’t that a little harsh?”

  “The punishment has to be harsh. It’s a deterrent. Do you know how many people we actually have to put in the box? Not many. The threat is usually enough. It’s a better system than anything out in the rest of the world. Crimes against the community cannot be allowed to stand. It’s just the way things have to work. You steal from the community? You get put in the box. You hurt another member of the community? You get put in the box. Sometimes we exile people, but we like to rehabilitate people if we can. After some time in the box people usually see the error of their ways and come around.”

  “I imagine they do,” Saeed said.

  “And it serves as a good reminder to the others that we must stay united. Seeing this is difficult for all of us, but we must bear the shame to ensure that we do not let it happen again.”

  “Can I go talk to them?”

  “If you wish. But do not attempt to help them,” the guard said.

  Saeed approached the boxes and bent down. Now that he was closer he could hear their fretful sobs. He tried to peer through the air holes, but it was so dark in the boxes he couldn’t see them.

  “Martha, Belinda,” he said, placing his hand on the boxes in the hope that somehow they would feel the human connection, “it’s Saeed. I’m still out here. I’m still trying to find a way to help you.” He heard nothing but wails and moans. His heart broke for them. Saeed knew what it was like to be tortured. He had to find a way to get them out.

  “Is there nothing that can be done?” he said as he walked back up to the guard. The guard slowly shook his head.

  “Not until Hugo says they’re ready to be released.”

  Saeed stayed there the entire morning, wanting to be near them, to show them they weren’t alone. The guard stood by impassively, seemingly impervious to the pleas for mercy from the two women. Saeed wiped the tears from his eyes, wondering how so much horror was able to occur in the world. Again he thought that perhaps Nadya and Aaminah were the fortunate ones, having escaped all this before they had to witness it. Their suffering was over in an instant, while Saeed’s was prolonged. He tilted his head to look up at the skies, asking Allah, ‘Why was this allowed to happen?’ It seemed too much for one man to be able to stop.

  While he was sitting there, he thought about the others as well. They all had known about this community, but none of the others had arrived yet. The grim reality that they all might have been killed by the masked man was hard to ignore, and the more time that passed the more likely that seemed. Was Saeed always destined to lose those closest to him? At that he thought about Tara. For the moment, the only reason he could carry on was because of her. If anything happened to her, then there was just no reason for him to go on living.

  As the morning went on other people joined Saeed, coming to look at the people in the boxes. Unlike Saeed, however, they were not l
ooking to help those in the boxes. Instead, they shamed the people in the boxes, saying they were paying their dues. The people who stood by Saeed and looked down at Martha and Belinda did so to remind themselves of their place in the world and how they should act.

  “It’s terrible, isn’t it?” most of them said.

  At first, Saeed thought they were talking about the act of putting the women in the boxes, yet he soon realized they meant what Martha and Belinda had done. All the people who came to view the boxes seemed to think the women deserved their fate. They were on display to give everyone a reminder of what would happen if they stepped out of line, and Saeed couldn’t believe that such inhumane treatment was accepted by those in the community. Eventually, Saeed had had enough and forced himself to leave, even though he wanted to stay for the sake of Martha and Belinda.

  A cloud hung over him. He was unsure how to fight this philosophy. He had to begin small, and he decided to start with Charlotte. If anyone would have an open mind, surely it was her. After all, she was a teacher, she had to be open to new ideas.

  As soon as class was over, Saeed took a moment with Charlotte, beckoning her over.

  “I’m so glad to see you again. I hope to see you at dinner. I’d love to pick your brain about what you’ve been through. I have a number of children who came from elsewhere and they have seen some terrible things. I’d love to know what happened to you and Tara. It would help to give me a better understanding, especially when we reach out to more people. There are going to be so many in need, and I want to make sure they all are met with open arms and understanding.”

  “And if they do something wrong, they’ll be put in the boxes?”