Beneath These Scars

by Meghan March

  Just when I thought the man’s overbearing nature wasn’t as bad as I’d made it out to be, he proved me wrong. Dirty Dog was my domain.

  “Not necessary. I’ll be ready in five minutes. I’ll find something there to change into.”

  Lucas stood, and like a brick wall, he blocked my path. “No.”

  I raised an eyebrow. I really didn’t like the word no, especially not when work would give me the lifeline of distraction I needed. “You can’t tell me you wouldn’t do the same. I’m not helpless. I’ve had my cry, and nothing I do now is going to change what happened. All I can do is move forward and make sure Dirty Dog continues to kick ass so I can get someone to loan me the money to buy the place.”

  Latching onto another subject far removed from the explosion, I stared pointedly in Lucas’s direction. “And you’re not going to pull any strings to help me. I don’t care if you’re on the board of that fund. You’re going to hand my file back over and take yourself out of all the discussions. You can’t be impartial, and that’s not fair.”

  I expected him to scowl or tell me I was being ridiculous. But instead he just laughed, something he did rarely enough that I had to stop and enjoy the unique sound—a sexy-as-hell husky, deep chuckle.

  When he stopped, a mocking smile played on his lips. “What makes you think anything that happens in the business world, or life for that matter, is impartial and fair? People get ahead based on who they know, not how good they are. Do you know how many applications the fund gets a month? Hundreds. You know how many grants it gives? A handful. You deserve one of them, and I’m not saying that just because I’m fucking you. I’m saying it because you’re damn good at running the place. You’ve got the owner mentality, and now you need the capital.”

  “I know that,” I said, inwardly glowing at his compliment. “But it doesn’t mean I want any favors.”

  Lucas shook his head, and I decided now was an ideal time to end this conversation by walking out the door. I reached the threshold before his hand wrapped around my arm.

  “You’re still not going to work.”

  I swung around. My feelings toward him might be confusing as hell, but one thing I knew for sure—I needed him to respect me.

  “You really need to stop ordering me around. I need to be busy. I’m not going to sit around here all day and relive the whole thing. I’ll—” I squeezed my eyes shut, shocked when my voice started to break.

  Lucas’s chest pressed to mine. Safety. Strength. I felt both as soon as he wrapped his arms around me.

  “That’s why we’re not going to sit around here. We’re going out.”

  I opened my eyes and lifted my gaze to meet his. “In these clothes?”

  “Don’t worry about that.” His thumb smoothed over the skin of my arm. “I’ll make sure you’re covered.”

  Lucas watched me silently. He and I were both so damn stubborn. I would push and he would push back. But who would give?

  For the first time in a long, long time, I could admit to myself that I didn’t want to make all the decisions, didn’t want to have to be so strong. The fight drained out of me.

  “Okay. Let’s go.”

  Lucas nodded and slid his palm down my arm to lock his fingers with mine. “Good. You’ll like this.”

  THE SHELL DRIVE CRUNCHED UNDER the tires as Lucas guided the Aston up what seemed like a mile-long stretch of twists and turns. Huge oaks shaded it from the sun, and a sprawling plantation house, one that could have been a replica of Margaret Mitchell’s Tara, sat at the end.

  “What is this?”

  “An investment I’m considering.”

  “You brought me to look at a multi-million dollar house?” I asked. I looked down at my clothes in horror. “In these?”

  Lucas shook his head and drove a few hundred yards past the house before stopping in front of stables that most people would have been happy to live in. “I brought you here to ride. There are plenty of clothes inside. All different sizes, as they’re used to having guests come out for riding parties.”

  I surveyed the stables with skepticism. “I’ve never been on a horse before. Ever.”

  He flashed a grin at me. “Then I guess you’ll be so busy worrying about staying on that you won’t have time to think about anything else.”

  His meaning was obvious. “A plan for an effective distraction.”

  “Of course.”

  “Then let’s see this place¸” I said, pushing the door open and climbing out.

  Holy. Wow. There was rich, and then there was rich. Lucas led me past stall after stall constructed of ornately carved dark wood—all empty.

  “Horses to fill all of these come with the place?” I asked, intending the question as a joke.

  Lucas squeezed my hand, which he’d taken as soon as we’d gotten out of the car. “Yes, actually. They’re a big part of the reason I’m considering buying it.”

  My mouth barely stayed closed, saving my jaw from dragging on the floor. I did a quick count of the stalls we’d walked by. “You’re not serious. That’s so much work. I mean, they’re amazing, but damn.”

  Lucas’s laugh echoed off the stamped concrete floor and the tall, stained-wood ceilings. “And that’s the beauty of having full-time grooms and stable hands. With this many animals, you really have no choice. It’s in the best interest of the animals, not just the owners.”

  If this barn were full, that would be a lot of horses. “Is there a reason they have so many?”

  Before he answered my question, we reached a room at the end of the aisle and a boy, probably around eighteen or so, stepped out.

  “Welcome back, Mr. Titan.”

  Lucas shook his hand. “Good to see you, Chris. Can you tack up two mounts? Titan, and one that would be suitable for a beginner?”

  The boy, Chris, looked at me as if sizing me up. He said nothing about my unconventional outfit. “Sure thing. No problem. I’ll go round them up while you two change. Let me know if you need anything else.”

  As soon as Chris was gone, I tugged Lucas’s hand. “Seriously? You’re going to ride a horse named after you?”

  His laugh rolled free again. “Not exactly. He’s a big beast, named after the Titans, not me. Good mount. He was rehabilitated after they rescued him.”

  “Rescued?”

  Lucas nodded. “That’s the answer to your question, why there are so many. The current owner has rescued over half of them from bad situations. Some take years to rehabilitate to the point where they can be ridden again.”

  Lucas Titan wants to rescue horses. The revelation was . . . not what I expected.

  “That’s actually very cool.”

  His easy posture stiffened. “It’s not a big deal. I’d buy it even if the barn was full of thoroughbreds and Arabians. Of which there are several. And the thoroughbreds bring home plenty of purses from the races.”

  He tried to hide it, but I’d caught that flash of compassion for abused animals. Still, I’d let him pretend he was all about the money if it would bring back the easiness from a few moments ago. Call me crazy, but I thought I might actually be starting to understand this man.

  “The sport of kings. Seems appropriate for you.”

  His smile flashed again. “Obviously.” Then he jerked his chin toward the room next to the one Chris had come out of. “Let’s get changed.”

  I’d been skeptical about the clothes Lucas handed me, but surprisingly my ass looked pretty damn good in these . . . jodhpurs. The jaunty white shirt, black jacket, and velveteen riding helmet didn’t look so bad either. The knee-high leather boots were amazing. So amazing that I was tempted to try walking out while wearing them.

  When Lucas stepped out of the men’s changing area wearing jeans and a T-shirt, I sputtered, “What the hell? Why am I the only one in this getup?”

  His smile—it was coming faster and more often now—flashed again. He turned me by my shoulders toward the door, lowering his head to speak into my ear. “Because I knew you
r ass would look amazing in those. For the record, I was right.”

  I looked over my shoulder at him. “And where did your clothes come from? I didn’t see jeans in there.”

  “I left them here last time.”

  His answer raised another question. “How long have you been thinking about buying this place?” It sounded as if he’d visited more than once. The kid knew him by name, although maybe that wasn’t surprising. The more surprising part was that he knew the kid by name. But I was making judgments again. Maybe Lucas remembered everyone’s names.

  “A few months. I came here originally as a guest, and we’ve been in discussions since then. He’s waiting for me to make a decision.”

  “What’s stopping you from deciding?”

  Lucas’s smile faded. “I have my reasons.” He jerked his head toward the stable door. “Our mounts will be ready by now. Let’s go.”

  I tried to parse through what Lucas said and what he wasn’t saying. It was clear to me that he wanted this place, but something was holding him back. I wanted to know what that something was, and I wanted to know very much.

  My mind fixed on solving that mystery, we walked outside and I gasped at the giant, gorgeous beast of a horse before me. “This must be Titan.”

  “Yes, ma’am. He’s certainly a fitting mount for Mr. Titan.”

  He was a glossy dark brown with a black mane. He stood, shifting on his hooves almost impatiently.

  Yes, certainly a fitting mount.

  “Creole Belle is yours, ma’am. We call her Belle.” He stepped over to stroke the forehead of a much more petite, silvery-gray mare with a white mane. White spots speckled her hindquarters. “She’s an Appaloosa. She’s been here about five years and is a favorite with our guests who are less familiar with riding.”

  And hopefully those who aren’t familiar at all.

  Even though she was small compared to Titan, she looked huge compared to little old me.

  The groom ran through some basic instructions and then offered me a mounting block.

  Oh hell. Here we go. I stepped up on the block, my stomach tumbling. A big hand landed on the left side of my waist.

  “You’re going to do great, Yve.” Lucas’s other hand closed around my right side. “You want me to get you up there?”

  I glanced toward where the groom had been standing, wondering what he thought about Lucas’s offer, but he’d already made himself scarce.

  “Sure,” I said, my voice wavering a little. “I can do this, right?”

  I wasn’t really posing the question to Lucas, but he answered anyway. “Of course you can.”

  He lifted me up, and with one smooth movement, I swung my leg over the other side. Belle shifted, and I grabbed the edge of the saddle in front of me.

  “Where’s that little handle thingy? Why don’t I have one of those?”

  “This is a hunt seat, not Western.”

  “I think I like Western better.”

  Lucas laughed again, and I decided I could get used to that sound. It was deep, dark, and rolling. It was almost becoming . . . comforting.

  He mounted his horse and came up beside me before I could figure out what the hell my brain meant by that. Then he reached out and grabbed my reins, positioning them in my hands with his.

  “Okay, so Chris gave you the basics, but we’re going to take it slow for a little while with a walk. We’ll work up to a trot, and you can learn to post.”

  “Uh, walking’s good. I’d prefer to only get back on the ground when I want to, not when I fall off.”

  Lucas’s hand closed over mine where I clutched the reins for dear life. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

  My eyes darted up to meet his. They were solemn and serious, at odds with the lightheartedness he’d been showing.

  “I promise,” he added.

  They were just two words, but in that moment, coming from Lucas’s lips, they felt like a vow. It seemed like he was talking about so much more than what could happen on this horse.

  “I trust you.” My response, while unexpected, was totally honest. I wasn’t sure when it had happened, but I did trust Lucas.

  His gaze dropped away from mine, and he released my hands. “About this, you should. About everything else, that’s a bad bet.” The subject was clearly closed, because he added, “Pull your reins to the right. Let’s go.”

  Why wouldn’t he want me to trust him? Why was he warning me off? It was as if he was pulling me in with one hand, but holding me off with the other. Did he have secrets to rival my own?

  My curiosity demanded I find out.

  As the horses walked in the direction of a trail that cut into the trees, I concentrated on letting my body rock with the movement of Belle’s stride. Once I got comfortable with it, my mind wandered right back to the man beside me. I dared to take my eyes off my horse and glance at him. Lucas sat easily in the saddle, looking as if he was as comfortable there as behind a desk.

  “Do you come out here a lot?” I asked.

  “I’ve been a few times,” he said, keeping his eyes ahead.

  “You don’t seem like the kind of man to take quite so long to make a decision.”

  “And what makes you think you understand what kind of man I am?”

  My horse slowed as we reached a fork in the trail, and I felt like I was living a Robert Frost poem. One trail was sunny and bright while the other was darker, more shaded by the stately trees.

  Two paths diverged in a yellow wood.

  And sorry I could not travel both.

  I’d already decided I trusted a man most considered a villain. Was I making a mistake? I guess I’ll find out.

  Lucas pulled his horse to a halt. “Which path do you want to take, Yve?”

  I met his eyes. “I’m following you, Lucas. Lead the way.”

  My decision had been made.

  We finally slowed near a big man-made lake. I had no idea how far we’d gone because I’d lost myself in the rhythm of Belle’s movements and Lucas’s surprisingly comfortable companionship. We hadn’t talked much, just a few comments from him about my form, mostly along the lines of “heels down” and “good seat.” Still, it was nice just to be.

  Lucas dismounted and looped his horse’s reins around a post that appeared to have been placed there for that purpose. He was at my side and lifting me down before I realized what was happening. When my feet hit the ground, I stumbled, but Lucas was prepared. He kept hold of my waist as I grabbed his shoulders.

  “Whoa,” I said, surprised when my legs shook.

  “Easy. You’re not used to sitting astride for that long. Takes a little getting used to for your muscles.” He lowered his head to my ear. “I’ve neglected putting you on top. My mistake. Then you would’ve had some conditioning.”

  I shoved his shoulder. “You’re such a guy.”

  Lucas squeezed my waist. “One who is ready to fix that situation.”

  “I doubt my legs could hold me right now,” I said with a laugh.

  Lucas turned and pulled me into his side, his arm dropping around my shoulders. “Come on, let’s walk, get you stretched out, and then you can ride me.”

  I jerked my head to look up at him. “You mean ride back.”

  Lucas’s seductive grin was in place. “Do I?”

  I didn’t think before I said, “You know, you really can be charming as hell when you’re not being a dick.”

  One eyebrow quirked up, and I waited for the walls to slam down into place. And waited.

  “Are you complimenting me, Yve?”

  I relaxed. “I’m just saying I like you this way. You’re easy to be around. It’s nice. My vote is for buying this place, because I think it makes you happy.”

  Lucas’s gaze shuttered and the smile on his face faded. “What would make me happy is for you to be naked.”

  Apparently our conversation was over, but I was good to roll with this change of subject.

  His hands slid up my jacket until he reach
ed the buttons, then unhooked them one by one. Once he’d undone them all, Lucas tugged it off and pulled me to the bench near the lake. Laying the jacket over the top, he started on the buttons of my shirt.

  I reached for the hem of his T-shirt. “I think you being naked would make me happy too.”

  Lucas pulled the sides of my shirt apart, and I helped drag his up and over his head. His eyes—hot and hungry this time—devoured my semi-nakedness.

  “I don’t say it enough, but you’re fucking gorgeous. I should tell you that more often.”

  Something in me, I refused to pinpoint what exactly, clenched almost painfully. “Why don’t you show me instead?”

  Lucas pulled the shirt from my arms and laid it over his on the bench. “Gladly.” He looked around. “Our options are limited, though.”

  “I’m not complaining.” And I certainly didn’t.

  Lucas rolled on a condom and made use of our limited options. He held me close, both arms wrapped firmly around me as I bent over the back of the bench, and he pressed kiss after open-mouthed kiss to my shoulders, neck, and jaw. His teeth grazed the tendon along my neck as he told me how beautiful I was, how good it felt to be buried inside me, and how he couldn’t let me go.

  The pleasure was every bit as intense as the other times we’d been together, but there was something very different about this Lucas. He was almost . . . worshipful.

  Something had shifted between us.

  I moaned his name as I came, with no urging. It was the only word I could bring to my lips. And the tight grip I had on my heart began to slip.

  Later, I slowed my mount with a triumphant laugh. “I trotted! And did that posting thing!”

  Lucas slowed beside me.

  “I didn’t even fall.” I pumped a fist in the air, bravely letting go of my reins with one hand for a moment. “Win!”

  I still felt him between my legs. Which made this all even more impressive.

  “Told you it’d be fine. You sit a horse well.”

  Warmth washed through me at Lucas’s compliment. I hadn’t been exaggerating before; I truly liked him like this. He was still every bit the arrogant man he’d always been, but now there was a certain easiness to him. I felt like someone had dug a tunnel under the walls we both kept so high, and I’d gotten a glimpse at a hidden side of him.