by Anna Cackler
“What?”
He shrugged and turned away.
Margo was watching anything that wasn’t strictly alive. She seemed more than a little nervous, standing in the same room as her crush. She kept fussing with her curly blond hair and shifting her weight. Did she know that Finn knew about the whole thing? How much had Shannon told her?
“Here,” Shannon said, dropping my keys in my hand just as the front door opened again. We all turned to see Mr. O’Malley lumber through the door.
“Hey kids,” he said in his thick Irish accent. He, like his daughter, had flaming red hair and a wide mouth. He was a big man, sturdy like a lumberjack even though he was just an accountant and sat behind a desk all day. “Margo, Emily. You girls staying for supper?”
“Yes,” Shannon answered for us.
“No,” I said. “I’m just on my way out, actually.”
“That’s too bad. Next time, yeah?”
“Yeah,” I said, casting a meaningful glance back at Shannon. Margo was still looking at the floor. “See you in school. Catch you later, Finn.”
“Bye.”
Over the next several weeks, school went by without any further excitement. Shannon kept insisting that it was only a matter of time before Ethan asked me out again, but I was hard pressed to believe that we had really been on a date at all in the first place.
Well, that’s not exactly true. I wanted to believe that Ethan was interested in me, but I knew better than to get my hopes up. It seemed like every day that passed without another invite was just another nail in my social coffin.
“We just did math, Shannon,” I said, irritated. “Don’t hyperventilate.” Margo laughed. She was a lot less shy when it was just us girls, but I still was not totally comfortable with her like I was with Shannon and Finn. “We get together almost every day to do math. It’s nothing. It’s a study group.”
“That’s just his excuse, you’ll see,” Shannon assured me with a smug smile.
I wanted to believe her. Truly I did. Sometimes I imagined that it was true, that Ethan was just biding his time, taking it casually. More than once he caught me staring at him. Every time he just smiled real big like nothing was out of the ordinary. It was in the aftermath of those contagious smiles that I allowed myself to hope.
But, day after day Ethan and I did our homework together without incident. Sometimes we went to Rick’s, but usually we just hung around at the picnic tables at the school to do it. On the days that I usually took Finn to work after school, we did our work at the library instead. Shannon and Margo joined our group from time to time when the assignment was particularly difficult, but Finn never did. He’d never had any problems getting his homework done, and he usually just did it while he was at work anyway.
We didn’t just stick to math, either. I quizzed Ethan on his Spanish vocabulary, and he helped me edit my Lit assignments. It was nice to have a reliable study partner for a change. Shannon had never been any good. She, like her brother, generally didn’t need help with her homework. More often than not, she’d get frustrated with my slow progress and just give up on me.
Ethan, on the other hand, was incredibly patient. He and I didn’t exactly have as much to say to each other as Shannon and I did, but he was easy to get along with. It certainly didn’t help matters that my stomach did a little flip flop every time Ethan grinned that stupid grin of his. It frustrated me a little more every time we parted ways and he still had not asked to get together outside of our educational endeavors. He didn’t even bring up watching that Monty Python movie again.
Shannon was not to be deterred. “You’ll see. It’s just a matter of time.”
I forced myself to ignore her.
Mom spent most of August in the bathroom with her head in the toilet. I felt really bad for her, but there was nothing either Aaron or I could really do for her. I went to her doctor’s appointment with her as promised, but it wasn’t really that exciting. We sat in the waiting room for an hour while I filled out Mom’s paperwork for her. She was looking decidedly green, but managed not to throw up the whole time we were there.
“I’m so glad you came, Em,” she said in a breathless voice as we walked out to the parking lot an hour later. I hitched her purse higher on my shoulder. “I don’t think I could have handled all of this nonsense alone.”
“No bad news then?”
“None yet. Just one baby, and everything looks good so far. Due March 10th.”
“Oh, crap. There’s still a while to go.”
She sighed. “Yeah. But hopefully this nausea will end soon.”
“How long is it supposed to last?” I climbed into the driver’s side of our family Volvo while she settled into the passenger seat.
“Just three months. I’ve got another appointment in November for the ultrasound.”
“Do you want to know the sex?” I asked. “Does Dad?”
She shrugged. “Probably not. We didn’t find out with you or Aaron.”
“But wouldn’t it be easier to plan?”
“What’s to plan? We’ve already got your old stuff in the attic if it’s a girl, and we can use your brother’s baby stuff if it’s a boy. We’re covered.” She sighed and settled back into the seat while we drove through town. “Do you have any plans tonight?” she asked.
“No,” I replied with a sigh. “Do I ever?”
“I guess not.”
“Oh, wait. I have to go to the library today. I have to pick a poet for a paper in Lit.”
“Mmm. Which poet do you think you’ll choose?”
“Probably Shel Silverstein.”
She smiled. “Oh yes, Mr. Silverstein. That’s a good one.”
“He’s the only one I understand.”
“Me, too.”
I didn’t even get out of the car when I dropped Mom off at the house. Instead I went straight to the library to see if they had any Silverstein books. If not, then I’d stop by Martin’s Books and just buy a copy. It was worth the twelve dollars.
I was able to find a parking spot right in front of the library today, so I didn’t have to spend much time at all in the unbearable heat. It hadn’t rained once all August, and everything had turned brown. Even the trees, though still green, looked a little dried out and tired. Heat waves rolled off of the pavement and baked my skin from the underside.
“Hey Finn,” I called as I pushed through the heavy front door.
He looked up from the computer behind the front counter. “Hey. What are you up to today?”
“I just need a book. Do you have any Shel Silverstein?”
“Yeah. Is that who you chose for that comprehensive essay?”
“Yup. Who’d you pick?”
“Haven’t yet.” He grimaced at the monitor. “I’ve been fighting with this stupid computer since I got here. It keeps freezing up on me.” He sighed and sat back in his desk chair. “There’s a poetry section upstairs in the back,” he said, gesturing towards the spiral staircase. “You shouldn’t have a problem finding what you need.”
“Thanks.”
I found the poetry section in the back corner near a narrow window that looked out over the street. I shook my head in disbelief. Even from up here I could see the heat shimmers rising off of the pavement.
The poetry section wasn’t large, but they seemed to carry all of the important authors. There were a few generic collections boasting Robert Frost, William Butler Yeats, and T. S. Eliot on a display rack. I ignored these and starting scanning the S section near the bottom. After a few seconds, I reached the last book and had to start at the top shelf of the next book case. There, right at the top, I spotted Silverstein’s name. Where the Sidewalk Ends. Perfect.
I reached, but my fingertips barely brushed the shelf two feet below the one I wanted. I glanced around quickly and spotted a wobbly old footstool, which I dragged over to the shelf I needed. Even with it, I had to stretch to reach the book I was aiming for. It was wedged into the shelf so tightly that I had to yank on it
to dislodge it from its place.
Dust flew into my face as I groped at the old books. I felt the sneeze coming on, but I ignored it. I almost had the book out now.
I managed to tug the book loose in the exact same instant that the thunderous sneeze rocketed out of my nose. It wasn’t much, but it was just enough to make me lose my balance and slip backwards off of the low footstool.
Those three measly little extra feet completely undid me. Hours passed in an instant as I plummeted toward the ground. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought of the book that was falling with me and mourned the damage that I had just caused with my clumsiness. The impact would probably tear the binding in two.
On instinct I reached around with my left hand to break my fall, but things ended up working out the other way around. As the heel of my hand made contact with the floor, a sharp POP rang through the air. In the very next instant my head slammed into the floor as well.
If I’d had any time at all to realize what that popping sound had been, I might have vomited everywhere. Fortunately I blacked out first.
Five
“Emily! Oh my God. Emily, wake up!”
Cool hands were on my face, my forehead. It felt good against my pounding head so I didn’t move. Some unknown force in my body told me that if I moved, I would wake up. If I woke up, then I’d have to deal with not only the wracking pain in my body, but the absolute stupidity of what I had done to land myself on the floor in the first place. There was a funny, metallic taste in my mouth, but I couldn’t place it. If only I could just keep from coming to…
But it was too late. I was already awake.
“Emily! Are you okay? What happened?” Finn’s barrage of questions hammered through my head the instant I opened my eyes.
“I fell down,” I said thickly. “What does it look like?” It felt like I’d bitten my now swollen tongue and it was difficult to speak. A cough choked its way out of my throat and I groaned.
Finn didn’t laugh at my feeble attempt at light heartedness. I coughed again, covering my mouth with my good hand this time. It came away bloody. All right, so I had seriously bitten my tongue. That certainly explained the funny taste in my mouth.
“Oh my God! You’re coughing up blood!”
“It’s okay.” I groaned, closing my eyes again. “It’s just my tongue.”
“Is anything else broken? Can you move? Wiggle your toes.”
My toes wiggled obediently, though he couldn’t see them through my dirty tennis shoes. “Just my arm, I think.”
“I’m taking you to the emergency room,” he said. “Where are your keys?”
“In my bag behind the counter downstairs.” He put a hand behind my back and helped me to sit up, and then stand. Shooting pains ran up my left arm. It felt like there were several rusty knives and forks jammed into my arm. I wobbled on my feet and Finn gripped me tighter around my waist.
“Are you gonna pass out again?” he asked.
“I dunno.” I cradled my left arm and leaned into Finn for balance. My head was reeling. It was a good thing he was so tall. He had no problems supporting me.
“Here,” he said. He bent over double and my feet were suddenly swept out from under me. He had picked me up as if I weighed no more than a feather pillow.
“Ow!” I yelped as my arm was jostled. The pain caused the world to come back into focus. “Warning next time!”
“Sorry.” He carried me down the stairs and stood me on my feet long enough to fish my keys out of my bag. I was vaguely aware of two old ladies with wide eyes staring at me from beside the magazine rack.
“Are you okay, honey?” one of them said in a wheezy voice.
I just looked at her, suddenly confused.
“Warning,” Finn said.
“What?”
He swept me back into his arms and my left wrist was jostled again. I dug my forehead into his shoulder and grunted in pain, clutching at my arm in an attempt to stabilize it. He backed out through the door into the amazing heat that only seemed to make the pain in my arm and head even worse. He sat me carefully down in the front seat of my car. I was instantly coated in sweat and the hot seat burned the back of my legs.
“Wait here,” he said. “I have to make a quick call.” He slammed my car door shut and dashed back inside the library.
“Finn! Who-?” He was gone long before I said anything at all. My head fell back against the headrest and I forced myself to swallow. My whole left side was aching now and a fantastic purple bruise was spreading all across my forearm. It didn’t help that I was practically suffocating in the heat inside the car.
Two minutes later, Finn reappeared. He herded the two very disgruntled old ladies out in front of him and locked the library door behind them. They were shouting something at Finn, but he ignored them. He dashed back to the car. “How ya doin’?” he asked as he started up the engine.
“Peachy. Who’d you call?”
“Bill so he could come and open the library back up, and your mom.”
“Oh hell.” My mom. I had forgotten about her. “She is going to freak out.”
“She already is.”
It took four hours–four freaking hours. First, they had to examine my head and my reflexes and everything stupid like that. Then I had to wait for an hour with Finn and my mom (who had shown up almost immediately) before they could squeeze me in for an X-Ray. She was going completely berserk for a full fifteen minutes before Finn finally had to yell at her to calm down.
And by yell, I mean literally yell. He actually took a hold of my mother’s arms and hollered, “Get a hold of yourself, woman! She’s gonna live!”
“I just fell off of a stool, Mom,” I said as she stared wide eyed at Finn. She had never been yelled at by a teen before. “I’m going to survive. I promise.”
“You’d better, so help me,” she said, gripping my right hand. “What is your father going to say?”
“He’ll give me an 8.9 for difficulty and a 9.6 for execution.”
“That is not funny, Emily Prudence Bates.”
“She’s right, Em,” Finn said seriously. “There’s no way you’d get more than a 6.”
I smiled.
Monday at school, I tried my best to avoid eye contact with everyone. They were all staring at the hulking, blindingly white cast on my left arm, and all I wanted to do was rip it off and scratch like crazy. I hurried over to our usual table where Margo and Shannon were already deep in conversation. Finn pushed a paper bowl of French toast sticks at me as I sat down, then he pulled my immobilized left arm across the table without so much as a by-your-leave.
“Ow!” I complained.
“Don’t resist and it won’t hurt so bad.”
Shannon looked up and laughed as I sat down. “Only you, Emily.”
“What?”
“Only you could manage to break your arm in three places and give yourself a concussion just by falling down!”
“Only two places,” I said.
Margo chuckled a little, too, as she picked at her chocolate doughnut.
“What did you do?” We all turned to find Ethan rushing toward the vacant seat next to Finn, who was now scribbling something on my cast with a blue permanent marker.
“I fell,” I said. “I fell down and broke my arm. Don’t laugh at me.”
“In three places,” Shannon said.
“Two!” I corrected again.
“And gave herself a concussion,” Margo added. I glared at her.
“Are you all right?” he asked. “Does it hurt?”
I shrugged. “A little. My head aches some and I have to wear this stupid thing for eight weeks. What are you tattooing on my cast?”
Finn didn’t look up. “Almost done. Don’t move or it’ll look dumb.”
“It’ll look dumb anyway,” Shannon said.
“I think it’s nice,” Margo said with a smile. “Spice things up a bit, you know?”
“Sure,” I said. I leaned forward in an attempt to
see Finn’s handiwork, but he kept it shielded with his other arm.
“It’s a good thing you’re not left handed.” Ethan twirled a pencil between his fingers. “Hey, did you figure out that last question on the math assignment?”
“Of course not,” I said. “I have no idea how to handle a word problem. Why can’t they just give us an equation and let us solve it?”
“Because Mr. Yarsden hates you,” Shannon mumbled. She was rifling through her bag for a pen. I rolled my eyes and looked away. Shannon was obviously not having a good day today for lord knew why.
“There,” Finn said triumphantly. “A tribute to your fatal fall and a good life lesson.”
I turned my arm so that we could all read the short poem that he had jotted onto the rough plaster.
Reflection
Each time I see the Upside-Down Man
Standing in the water,
I look at him and start to laugh,
Although I shouldn't oughtter.
For maybe in another world
Another time
Another town,
Maybe HE is right side up
And I am upside down.
-Shel Silverstein
I laughed. “That’s awesome! Thanks.”
“No problem. It was my mom’s favorite one.”
“Yeah, it was,” Shannon said with a nostalgic smile.
I frowned, unsure of what to say to that. The twins’ mother had always been an uncomfortable subject for me. She had died of breast cancer just before they’d moved to St. John so I’d never met her. I tried to think of something to say, but nothing came. Nothing ever came in a situation like that.
“Oh, I’ve got one!” Shannon cried, reaching for Finn’s marker. I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that Shannon had changed the subject so quickly. I held out my hand to her so that she wouldn’t yank on it like Finn had done.
I barely had time to read the words, “Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the pig. –Unknown,” before Ethan was pulling my arm across the table to add his little insights. I tried very hard not to notice that my fingers were pressed against his chest while he scribbled his quote, but I couldn’t repress the flush. Shannon had to have seen it. I could almost hear the gears turning in her head as she watched my face get redder and redder.