by Anna Cackler
“Bye,” I called, rolling my eyes.
She waggled her fingers at me, disappearing into the kitchen with the phone glued to her ear.
My stomach was turning in knots the whole way to Shannon’s house. Oscar creaked and groaned every time I pushed on the gas and I feared that he was on his last leg. Finn still hadn’t taken a peek under the hood like he’d promised. I made a mental note to ask him about it again later.
“There you are!” Shannon cried when she answered the front door. I stepped inside, and my jaw literally dropped to the floor.
“Holy crap, Shannon!” I almost shouted.
“That’s what I said!” Finn’s voice floated in from the kitchen, though he didn’t make an appearance.
Along the back wall near the fireplace stood a folding table. There were three bags of plastic cups stacked on one end, and the tabletop was crammed with liquer bottles of all shapes and sizes. A large metal tub filled with ice housed the biggest keg I’d ever laid eyes on–in the movies or real life. And two ice chests, after further investigation, ended up holding dozens of sodas and waters. Another card table was filled with junk food of all sorts. Chips, dip, candy, and crackers.
The family portrait over the fireplace seemed oddly out of place now. It seemed like Mrs. O’Malley could see us and knew everything that was going on, and she didn’t like it.
“Where did you get all of this?” I asked.
“Margo’s brother,” she said. “Like we planned.”
“But how did you pay for all of this?”
She shrugged, nonplussed. “I’ve been saving up for a while. Babysitting, allowance. You know.”
“You’ve been saving up to have a party?”
“No, I’ve just been saving up. I’m glad I did, now.” She smiled, very satisfied with herself.
Finn appeared, handing me a cold soda from the ice chest. He was working on a half-eaten tuna sandwich. “The makings of a fine mess,” he said, admiring the alcohol. “A fine mess.”
“How are you going to get all of this cleaned up before your dad gets back?” I asked.
Shannon shrugged, an excited grin on her face. “He’s not getting back until Monday afternoon. We’ll have all day tomorrow.”
I glanced back up at the still image of Mrs. O’Malley. “Hm.”
Someone knocked on the door. “Yo! Where’s the party!” Ethan called from the doorstep, and my heart jumped up into my throat.
“Coming!” Shannon called. She disappeared into the foyer to let him in.
“You remember what I told you?” Finn asked under his breath.
“Uh huh.” I tried to remember how to breathe properly.
“I’ll be here all night. You just have to say my name.”
“Okay.” I smiled up at him. “Thanks.”
He put his arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “No prob.” He took another bite of his sandwich and disappeared back into the kitchen before Ethan and Shannon came in. They were lugging several good-sized speakers inside, and I rushed to help them.
Everyone arrived at once. One minute, it was just the six of us–Margo and Charlie arrived shortly after Ethan–the next the entire house was crammed with loud, sweating teenagers that smelled like Vodka and Cheetos. It was my own personal Hell.
Ethan’s stereo system proved to be everything he’d boasted. Rock and hip hop pounded through the speakers and, combined with the constant shouting, it was impossible to hear yourself think. Fortunately Shannon and Finn didn’t have any close neighbors, so nobody was really worried about a noise complaint. As I’d feared, Ethan was one of the first to make himself a drink. He offered me one too, but I declined. He didn’t push the issue. Score one for Ethan.
Where I was in Hell, Shannon was in Heaven. A huge grin was plastered across her face all night. She drank and danced with Charlie, laughing and screaming and having an all around good time. I envied her a little bit. I wished I could really enjoy myself in a crowd like she could.
The instant people started to arrive, I hunkered down on the love seat across the room from the speakers. Ethan sat with me loyally. Even when his buddies on the basketball team dragged him over to the card tables, he always returned immediately to my side. Score two for Ethan.
After the initial twenty minutes of Hell, though, things seemed to find a groove. Though I was determinedly staying put on the love seat, Ethan seemed to have a gravitational pull. People started gathering around us, laughing and joking. These were people that I recognized from school, but I’d never given any of them a second thought. Now they were all convinced that I was their best friend. It may have had something to do with the fact that they were all getting progressively more and more drunk (and loud, and smelly, and stupid). Maybe it was that Ethan, one of those guys that everybody loved to hang out with, was holding my hand on the couch. Maybe it was that I had finally loosened up and was joining in on the general banter. Perhaps it was that no matter what, I could always see Finn somewhere close. Within earshot. He wasn’t really paying much attention to me all the time, but just knowing that I had a rock to hold onto in that sea of bodies made me feel a little better. Whatever the cause, my stomach finally let go of its butterflies. I ate some chips, had a few sodas. I laughed and joked around.
“So did you notice the cute couple that just walked in?” Finn asked me quietly at one point. When I say quietly, I mean he leaned in and spoke in my ear so that no one else could hear him over the stereo.
“Who?” I asked, and he pointed toward the hearth. I suppressed a laugh. Tom Noll and Jeff Sweeny, the two shy nerds from Lit class, were standing awkwardly near the fireplace, looking very desperate indeed. No one else seemed to notice that they were there.
“I don’t believe it,” I said, grinning. “They can’t be having a good time.”
“Nope,” Finn said. “What do you say we do our good deed for the day?” He excused himself from Margo’s side, grabbed my good hand, and pulled me through the crowd towards Jeff and Tom. Ethan watched me go, but my absence didn’t seem to hinder his buzz even a little bit. Maggie Hanson, a blond senior with half of her drink spilled across her front, took my place on the love seat almost immediately after I vacated it. I glared at Ethan, who suddenly seemed just as happy charming Maggie as he had ever been charming me.
“What’s the matter?” Finn asked. He turned to follow my glare and saw Ethan and Maggie talking and laughing on the love seat. He pursed his lips, annoyed. “See? Casanova!” he muttered in my ear.
“It’s nothing!” I insisted. It’s nothing. It’s nothing. He’s just having a good time with another human being. That’s allowed, isn’t it?
“Hey guys!” I said, forcing my mouth into a smile when we’d made it to the fireplace. “Fancy meeting you here!”
Tom and Jeff nodded, smiling nervously. “We wanted to socialize a little,” Jeff said a little too enthusiastically.
“Well you picked the right time and place,” Finn said. He stuffed both of his hands in his pockets and flashed them a friendly smile. “Glad you came, guys.”
Their smiles grew a little wider, and Jeff even looked up at the lanky Tom with a look that plainly said I-told-you-so. Nobody knew what to say after that. We all kind of stood there for a few minutes, looking around awkwardly. I was just starting to wish that we’d never come over in the first place when Jeff finally broke the silence.
“So how’d you break your arm?”
“Huh?” I asked. “Oh, I fell off of a step ladder at the library. Do you want to sign my cast?”
“Sure,” Jeff said, pulling a pen out of his pocket. I held out my arm so that he could find a blank space more easily.
“I like that quote,” Tom said suddenly. “The one by George Bernard Shaw.”
“Oh yeah?” Finn asked. “That was one of my additions. ‘If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.’ It’s a good one. Although I always say that if you’re going to make your skeletons dance, you’d bet
ter do it with flare, you know? Teach them to salsa.”
Tom nodded. He didn’t make a move for Jeff’s pen when he was done with it, so I lowered my arm. Jeff hadn’t written anything particularly creative, just his signature. It looked very out of place amongst all of the scribbles and doodles all around it.
“Okay, well have fun, guys,” I said, desperate to get away from the awkward silence.
“You, too,” Jeff said.
Finn took my arm, and led me back through the crowd. “Feeling better about yourself now?” I asked.
“No, but you should ask Margo. It was her idea.”
“I see!” I said, grinning. “So you’re whipped already!”
“Shut up,” he said with a grin and shoved me playfully. I stepped away from him and sat back on the sofa where Ethan was waiting for me. Maggie had disappeared somewhere and my spot next to Ethan was vacant once more. He grinned up at me and held his arm out so that I could sit under it. I smiled and complied happily, all thoughts of keying Maggie’s Toyota gone.
It was a couple of hours into the party when Ethan finally got sick of sitting on the couch. He leaned toward me, his mouth close to my ear and I froze. What was he doing?
“Let’s dance,” he said. “I love this song.”
Oh. Of course. He would have to get close for me to hear him without having to shout. Score three.
“All right!” I called back. My feet were going to sleep, sitting on them like I was for so long. Maybe the crowd wouldn’t be too bad.
Ethan took my hand and led me into the center of the crowd. Someone shouted and fell on me as I got up, but Ethan pulled me closer, putting his arm around my waist to keep me from going down with them.
“Thanks!” I called.
He grinned at me. That happy, contagious grin. What had I been so worried about? This guy was great. He was good looking. He was funny. He was nice. Easy to talk to. Loyal. Understanding. This boy had no flaws whatsoever. Maybe Finn was right. If Ethan kissed me, then I should just put my arms around him and kiss him right back. What’s the worst that could happen? Heck, maybe I should kiss him.
No. Definitely not. He could kiss me first. That was fine. There was no need to jump the gun on this one.
We danced through four songs. The music was infectious once you got over how loud it really was. Ethan pulled me closer and closer every time the song changed, and that was fine by me.
“Whoo! Look at you!” Shannon squealed, twirling by us. Charlie was laughing, gripping her arm and tugging her away. “Bye!” she hollered and was gone as quickly as she had appeared.
Ethan laughed, and strangely enough, so did I.
It was around two in the morning when people started to wind down. Cars began filing out of the yard as the various designated drivers hauled off their giggling and incapacitated charges. Some people had elected to stay the night. Shannon and Finn didn’t seem too pleased about this, but they couldn’t exactly let them drive either.
“Do you want a ride home?” I asked Ethan.
He shrugged. “I’ll be fine in a couple of hours. I’m already sober enough as it is.”
“What if you get pulled over?”
“I won’t.”
“But what if you do?”
He laughed. “Lighten up, Em. It’ll be fine.”
“I’d still rather drive you,” I insisted, frowning.
“Yeah, and then I’d get to live through the Inquisition when my dad sees that my truck’s gone. I’ll drive myself.” He was loosing points fast, now.
I crossed my arms across my chest and settled back into the couch. Ethan had his arm around me now. Not just on the back of the couch, but around me. Shannon and Charlie were giggling in the kitchen. The TV was on low, and the dozen or so kids that were staying over were either asleep or absorbed in an I Love Lucy rerun. It was a dark, quiet, drowsy sort of atmosphere perfect for drifting off into an exhausted sleep. I glanced across the room and saw Finn and Margo. They were sitting on the hearth near the snack table and he had his hand on her chin. She was smiling up at him. She looked so sweet and good, which is why it was just so weird when Finn leaned down and touched his lips to hers. He came away, grinning, then leaned in and did it again. Longer this time, and a little more involved.
I turned away, leaning into the curve of Ethan’s body.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
I shrugged. “Nothing.”
“Did you have fun?”
Looking up at him I smiled. “Yeah. I really did.”
“So it wasn’t quite the mess you predicted?”
“Nah, I guess not.” I glanced around at the living room and what little of the kitchen I could see from my seat and frowned. The floor was littered with red plastic cups, chip crumbs, candy wrappers, and several spots on the carpet that looked suspiciously like spilled drinks and vomit. “Well, yeah. It definitely is a mess.”
He laughed, pulling me closer to him. I looked up at his face again and felt myself blush. I was glad that the room was so dark. The only light came from the kitchen around the corner and from the flickering television screen. In the dimness Ethan’s already dark face was completely black. His bright eyes and white teeth were the only parts of his face that were visible. It was then, to my horror, that I started giggling.
“What?” he asked, grinning.
“Nothing. You just looked like the Cheshire cat.”
“The what?”
“The Cheshire cat, you know,” I explained. “Because it’s so dark I can only see your eyes and that big stupid grin.”
“My grin’s not stupid.”
“That’s because you’ve never seen it from someone else’s perspective.”
“So look at it from my perspective.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because that’s your perspective,” I said him matter-of-factly. “And you and I can never share the same perspective. It’s a physical impossibility.”
“No, no,” he disagreed. “We can. You just have to lean in really close, like this.” He leaned down toward me so that our noses were inches apart. My heart started pounding so hard that I was sure he could hear it. He was probably fighting off laughter right now.
“I don’t see it.” I cursed my shaking voice.
He leaned closer. Our noses were touching now and he was still grinning. “How about now?”
I fought the urge to back away. He was so close now that I could clearly see every pore in his nose. “I’m not sure how this is supposed to accomplish anything.”
“You’re just not trying hard enough.” He grinned again. He was even closer now. Our noses were side by side instead of point to point, and his breath was hot on my face. He wasn’t smiling now.
“Well to be frank you and I are in rather close proximity to each other and I’m finding it very difficult to think.” Oh hell, my breath probably stank and he just got a mouthful of it. I clamped my mouth shut.
“There you go with your big words again,” he whispered. I closed my eyes and braced myself for impact. Time seemed to slow down in direct proportion to every single butterfly in my stomach. I even had time to be thoroughly grateful that I’d had the presence of mind to stay sober all night. Heaven knew my gag reflex didn’t need any help in that particular moment. Nerves had it all under control.
It was only a couple of seconds, but it felt like hours before he finally kissed me. The instant his lips touched mine, my body relaxed and my baser instincts took over. I responded to his pressure with a little of my own. Everything seemed to focus into sharp detail. I could hear his too-loud breath like it was the only sound in the room. His face was still a little sweaty and hot from all of the excitement of the night. To be honest, I’d never considered that the skin on a guy’s face, especially perfect Ethan’s face, could be so gross.
In truth, it was nothing spectacular. That kiss, my first kiss was tame at best, and pretty boring. The lead-up to it was about twenty times better
than the kiss itself, and that wasn’t even all that great. When he finally pulled a few inches away, my nerves worked themselves up again. What were we supposed to do now?
“Do you see it my way, now?” he asked, still grinning that stupid grin of his.
The corner of my mouth twitched upwards. At least I could play along, right? “Fine,” I said. “It’s not a stupid grin.”
“Thank you.”
“So was your party everything you hoped it would be and more?” I asked Shannon later that night. The pair of us had retreated to her bedroom to try and get some sleep. We were both curled up in her huge bed now, completely unable to even pretend to be sleepy.
“Yes, it was.” She laughed to herself and pulled the blanket up to her nose. “Everything was perfect.”
Charlie and Margo had left long before, and so had Ethan. He finally convinced me to let him drive himself home, against my better judgment, but he did seem to be completely normal by then. Even Finn agreed that he would be fine.
“Good,” I sighed. “I have to admit, I didn’t have a terrible time either.”
She squealed. “I know! I saw you and Ethan on the couch. I wanted to mention it earlier, but there was always somebody around. Finn didn’t look too happy about something, though. He and Margo didn’t fight, did they?”
“No,” I said. “I think he was just worried about me.” I told her about our conversation in the library a few days before, and Shannon’s face turned suddenly somber.
“Finn’s always been so protective of you and me,” she said. “He doesn’t like that Charlie’s always hovering around me, either. I think he feels responsible for my innocence or something.”
“Well that just makes him a dirty hypocrite,” I said. “Didn’t you see him and Margo making out on the hearth?”
“No! Good for him!”
“Good for Margo,” I countered. “Finn may claim to enjoy his little forays into intimacy, but I’m still not convinced. There’s just something so very not right with Margo kissing him like that.” I leaned in a little closer and lowered my voice. “Finn told me that she’s not a good kisser.”