Tyler crouches in front of the chair I'm sitting in. The woman who handled my make-up when I first appeared on Rise and Shine has worked her magic again. I'm relieved that she was able to mask the tired circles under my eyes and brighten up my pale complexion.
"You're going to go out there and cook the way you did at Nova." He taps his fingers on my knee. "If you feel anxious, you look for me. They told me I could stand behind the second camera. If you need to see my face, you find it. I'll have a smile just for you."
"Oh my God," Pamela walks toward us. "I heard that. You're the most romantic man in the world, Chef Monroe."
Tyler grimaces, his jaw visibly clenching. "I'm here for you, Chef. You've got this."
I reach forward to cup his cheeks in my hands. I don’t give a shit if Pamela or anyone else sees us. "I'm scared, Tyler."
"There's nothing to be scared of, Cadence," Pamela interjects. "Act natural and be yourself."
I'm grateful for her kind words, even though she's now resting her hand on Tyler's shoulder. "Thank you, Pamela."
"I love you, Cadence." Tyler's eyes lock on mine. "You go out there and show the world what an amazing chef you are."
I tighten my hands on his face before I brush my lips over his. "I can do this. I know that I can."
***
As soon as the director signals that we've gone to commercial after my segment, I feel all the tension leave my body. I rest my elbows on the counter of the portable kitchen as I pull in a heavy breath.
"Whoever hired you for this is a genius, Chef," Percy, the male co-host of the show approaches me from the left. "I just watched you. You did a fantastic job."
I didn’t notice him or anyone else who had gathered on the set to watch my debut. The only person I sought out in the crowd was Tyler. I looked at him twice. The first time was when I realized that the cooktop on my set wasn't working.
I heard people scrambling around trying to come up with a solution. I laughed it off, telling the home audience that cooking is a fluid experience and if we have to come up with a Plan B, we'll do it. I placed the ground turkey in my recipe to the side, opened a can of chick peas as a protein substitute and continued on to finish my spicy lettuce wraps.
The second time I glanced at Tyler was when I presented the finished dish and spoke about how my job at Nova had given me the foundation to cook with passion. I even snuck in a small recommendation for the grilled swordfish that I know they'll be serving during launch week.
"If this is a sign of what's to come, you're going to be more successful than any of us ever imagined you'd be." Barbara hurries into place behind Percy, her hand darting to his forearm. "She nailed it, don't you think, Percy?"
"She hit a homerun." He nods. "I better watch my back or you'll steal my job from right under me, Cadence."
"Thank you for believing in me," I say to both of them. "I was scared. I'm glad it went as well as it did."
"This is only the beginning," Barbara crows. "The world awaits you, Chef. The best is yet to come."
CHAPTER 20
I step off the set and into Tyler's arms. He smiles down at me, his breathing labored, his face flushed.
"You look exactly how I feel," I joke. "What's wrong? Did Pamela send you a shot of what's up her skirt?"
He chuckles, the sound low and rich. "I've been avoiding her all morning. She found another victim."
"Lucky him." I cock a brow. "How do you think I did? I feel like it went really well."
His hands dart to my shoulders. "You never cease to amaze me, Cadence. You looked like you'd been on camera for years. You were comfortable and relaxed. The way you handled the turkey setback was flawless."
I mull his comments over for a minute, absorbing each word. "I was worried that this job would come between us. I thought you might think I'm selling out."
"You're showing people how to cook for themselves." He smiles wide. "It goes against my desire to have them come to Nova to eat but there's a beauty in preparing a meal with your own two hands. You're helping people understand and appreciate food, Chef. How is that not a great thing?"
The weight of all of the emotions of the past few days crashes down on me. I feel a tear welling in my eye. "Food is such an important part of my life. I know cooking intimidates some people. I want to show them that it's not difficult. Anyone can cook."
"You're going to do that." He brushes his lips against my temple. "If you need any help, I'm here for you. I can contribute in any way."
I bury my face in his chest, resting against the soft fabric of the light blue dress shirt he's wearing. "I'd like that. I'll need your help. They have chefs on board to help but I value your input. You're an incredible chef. "
"Tyler is incredible," Pamela says from somewhere behind me. "He can't compare to this man though. Why the hell did no one tell me that Chef Sergio Firi is your father?"
I look up at Tyler's face. I ask the question even though he's already nodding in response. "Sergio's standing behind me, isn't he?"
"I will walk him out of here myself if that's what you want," he says quietly. "I don't want you upset."
My lips twitch as I debate what to do.
"I saw him with Pamela right as your segment ended. I have no idea how long he's been here." His gaze volleys to the area behind me, and then back again.
"I'll talk to him." I sigh on an exhale. "I'll get it over with."
"I'm right here with you." He slides his cheek against mine. "I won't leave your side."
***
I turn toward Sergio just as the door closes behind me. Barbara eagerly offered up her office to me when I told her I needed a private place to speak to my dad. I didn't have to introduce the two of them. She fawned over him for a solid two minutes until he finally promised her that he'd stop on his way out of the building to sign something for her. The last I saw of her, she was rushing out the door of the studio, headed in the direction of a bookstore.
"Can we speak alone, Cady?" Sergio asks as his gaze slides over my face.
I know that Tyler wants to protect me and to him that means standing watch over me while Sergio says whatever the hell it is that he came here to say. I don't need that though and I'm fearful that with Tyler present, my dad will temper his words. After what happened between us in Central Park the other day, I don't want either of us to hold anything back.
When I spoke to my mom on the phone that night she listened while I replayed the conversation with my dad. Her first reaction was to tell me to move to Los Angeles so I can be close to her. She relocated there with her boyfriend more than a year ago.
I skipped over the suggestion the same way I always do. Instead, I told her that I couldn't escape my dad's words or how he'd let his emotions show. She said I should give him a chance. I told her I couldn't and before we ended the call she reminded me that forgiveness is a gift you give yourself first.
Despite her ever present positive attitude, which used to wear on me when I was pissed off at the world, I know she has a point. The very least I can do is hear him out.
"Can you give us a minute, Chef?" I smile softly at Tyler. "I promise I'll call if I need you."
He looks at my phone. I'm clutching it tightly in my hand. "I'll be waiting outside the door. You say my name, and I’m here."
I nod as he steps back to open the door before it shuts once again behind him with a faint click.
"Why did you come down here?" I suck in a sharp breath.
"I saw you on television, Cady." He rests his hand against the edge of the desk. "I came as fast as I could. I didn’t want to miss you."
I could point out that if he wanted to see me, he has my phone number and my address but I let that slide. The fact that he walked onto a bustling television set and told Pamela that he's my dad is shocking enough. A decade ago that wouldn't have happened.
People knew about me. His friends, some of the people who worked for him and a few outside his inner circle were aware, but there weren't any questions b
eyond that.
I called him Sergio. I lived with my mother. Some of those who saw me in the kitchens of his restaurants made their own assumptions. They thought that he was a hero for stepping up to the plate to help a single mother who once worked in his kitchen.
"Is there something you want to say?" I know it sounds cold but my curiosity is pushing me to a place of emotional weariness. "You came to see me for a reason."
"I did." His right hand jumps to the watch on his wrist. He slides his fingers over the face. "I told Asta I want a divorce. Today I made the right choice for me. I made the right choice for us."
CHAPTER 21
I take a deep breath, trying to process what he just said. "You're divorcing Asta?"
"It's been years in the making." He fumbles with one of the buttons on the front of his white dress shirt. "I clung to her because she was all I had left."
My heart absorbs each of those words. She wasn't all that he had left. I was here, waiting for him to tell me that he knew that I hadn't hurt Asta. I was waiting to be his daughter again.
"I told her a year ago that I wanted the marriage to be over. She took some pills when I was at work. She called, her words were slurred, it was nonsense the things she was saying."
I stare at the watch on his wrist. The big hand is pointing at the three, the small hand at the twelve. Time stopped for us then, but life didn't.
"I'm sorry," I offer meekly unsure of what else to say. Asta tried to kill herself. The fact that she called him was a cry for help.
He lowers his gaze to the floor. "I called for an ambulance. They pumped her stomach. I was filled with guilt. I stayed. I tried, Cady, but the woman I loved is gone. Asta's changed. All that's left is anger and hate."
"How did she take the news this time?" I flip my phone around in my hands, the repetitive motion comforting me somehow.
"This time it was all about the money." He laughs but it's laced with pain. "She told me what she wants. I'll give it to her. Money is money. It's nothing."
It was everything to him at one point. He'd tell me about the receipts for the night at Magari when the restaurant first opened. I was too young to understand how impressive the numbers were. I was too innocent to realize that its importance to him came at my expense. His unyielding desire to grow his bank account and expand his empire consumed him back then.
"Is that why you're staying in New York?" I run my hand over my hair, smoothing it. "Is Asta going back to Italy?"
"To Stockholm," he corrects me with a nod of his chin. "She's leaving tomorrow. I'm staying in New York for you, for us. I want to be your father."
I cover my mouth with my hand. It does nothing to stall my emotions. "A lot has happened between us. I don't know if this is fixable."
His eyes well with tears. "I will use every breath I have left to mend this. This is all that matters to me, sweetheart. You are all that matters to me."
"I'm not sure, Sergio." I tap the toe of my shoe on the floor. "I just don't know."
"I know." He exhales in a rush. "I know I have a lot to make up for and that starts today. I'm sorry, my beautiful girl. I'm sorry that I let you down. I'm sorry that I put someone else before you."
It's an apology years too late but it's more than he's ever offered before.
"Thank you," I whisper. "Thank you for that."
His stance shifts as tension leaves his shoulders. "I'm your father. Today I start showing you that I'm a good one."
The temptation to embrace him is there but I step back. "We can start by having lunch. I've missed Magari. Can I come there for lunch one day next week?"
"You'll come." He looks at me, smiling. "You'll bring your boyfriend, yes?"
"Yes." I nod as I brush past him to open the door. "He'll come with me."
CHAPTER 22
I let out a slow breath as I watch Tyler arranging the chairs in the dining room of Nova. "I understand. I can go to lunch with Sergio by myself."
He stands back to inspect the position of one of the dark wooden chairs. The soft launch is only two days away. "Can you reschedule? I can't make it today but three days from now I'm free."
I smile at the offer but I've built up the courage to see my dad today and nothing is going to stop me from doing that. "It's fine. I'll hang out with him for an hour or two."
"Maribel invited him to the soft launch." He scratches the bottom of his chin. "She thought she was doing me a favor."
"A favor?" I look to where Maribel is standing at the back of the dining room talking to one of the sous chefs. "I thought you hired a PR company to handle the invitation list for you."
"I did." He surveys the positioning of the table that's separating us. "Maribel did it as a surprise to me. She went to Magari and spoke to him. He apparently accepted right away."
I want to tell him to rescind the invitation but I know that's petty. Having Sergio at the soft launch will draw more press. It will help shine the spotlight on Nova. I can't take that away from Tyler.
"It'll be fine," I say under my breath. "There will be so many people here that want to talk to him. He'll mingle and I'll hang out with you."
"You don't have to come. If you want to skip I'll completely understand."
I pause while I consider what he just said. He's willing to spend one of the most important nights of his life without me just so he can have my dad here. That might not be what he's implying but that's sure as hell the way I'm taking it.
"Are you worried that I'm going to cause a scene?" I rub the back of my neck, the muscles suddenly seizing into a tight knot. "I can stay home, Tyler."
He finally stops to look at me. "I was offering you an out, Cadence. I know there's a lot of shit for you and your dad to work through."
"I can handle it," I say honesty. "He wants to repair what happened. I'm willing to try too. That's why I'm having lunch with him today."
He rounds the table. "I want to make things as uncomplicated as I can for you. You have a lot going on right now. If I can do anything to ease that burden, I'm on it."
"You can promise me that after the soft launch, you'll spend an entire night in my bed with me."
He stills for a minute before he leans forward, the tip of his tongue touching my neck. "I'll spend an entire week in bed with you, Chef. It's going to take that long for me to do everything I want to you."
***
"Do you like the pasta?" Sergio's eyebrows rise in anticipation of my answer.
"I ate it all." I touch the corner of the white bowl. "You should put this on the menu."
"No." He shakes his head. "The first time I made that for you, you were five-years-old. You loved it. I'll never make it for another person."
The words touch me just as deeply as all the others he's shared with me since I sat down at Magari to have lunch with him. The interior of the restaurant is different than I remember. The tone is lighter and fresher than the dark masculine theme that used to define this space. The linen tablecloths are hand stitched with the Magari logo. It's beautiful, breathtaking really.
"I didn't hurt Asta, dad." I smooth my hand over my hair. I'd straightened it today after Sophia helped me choose an outfit. She's been quietly supportive of my decision to spend time with Sergio.
I texted her on my way here to tell her that she'll get to meet him at Nova's soft launch. She replied almost instantly with a happy face emoticon.
"I know, sweetheart." He sips from the glass of house red that he placed on the table when he sat down. He had one of the servers bring me the same, but I haven't touched it yet. I don't want anything to mar my memory of this lunch. "I was a fool back then."
"Why did you believe her over me?"
He contemplates his answer with another mouthful of wine. He swallows hard. "She was pregnant, Cady. When she fell in the office that day, the baby was lost."
CHAPTER 23
My eyes sting with tears. There was a baby. We struggled. Asta fell.
"It wasn't your fault." He doesn't look at me
as he says the words. "We tried for a long time to conceive. It finally happened. I wanted to tell you but Asta insisted we wait until she was three months along."
She wasn't showing when we fought in the office. I don’t remember what she was wearing but if there was a bump at all, it would have been tiny.
There was a tiny baby growing inside of her. My brother or sister.
I close my eyes before I open them and look directly at him. "Did she blame me?"
"She did," he answers without hesitation. "She told me that you were angry and pushed her. I didn't believe her. We fought about it."
"I'm sorry, "I say quietly. "I'm sorry about the baby."
"We went to Rome because she wanted to heal." He rubs his fingers over his brow. "When we were there she told me about the restraining order. She told me she didn't want you near her when we came back to New York."
I nod. "You came back sometimes. I saw it in the Times. I saw you on television."
His gaze falls to the watch on his wrist. "Each time I wanted to call. Each time Asta told me she'd leave me if I did. She reminded me that she'd lost the only child she'd ever have."
"You didn't try to have another baby?"
"We tried for years after." He taps the face of the watch with his finger. "Then a doctor in Florence told her that it wasn't going to happen. The first pregnancy was a miracle he said. A second wasn't possible."
I swipe away a tear that is falling down my cheek. "I didn't know about any of this."
"I never wanted you to feel that it was your fault. It was an accident. Asta needed someone to blame for her loss and that someone was you."
"Do you forgive me?" My voice is shaky.
"I'm the one looking for forgiveness." He slides his hand across the table. "I failed as your father. I let my grief be my guide. If anyone needs to beg for forgiveness, it's me."
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