by Jo Meadows
‘I know you’re alright now, today, and you have seemed okay since you’ve been home but I’m still worried about you. I’d like you to have a talk with someone about what happened and make sure that you are okay. Someone professional. Would you be willing to do that? I couldn’t make you if you didn’t want to, and that would be pointless but I hope you’ll agree it’s worth it. There has to be a reason for why you were the way you were, don’t you see?’
‘Alright, if it would make you feel better, I’ll think about it.’
‘Oh Mum, that’s great! Now, I’ve made some enquiries and I know we could get you an appointment locally at quite short-notice. Not through the NHS but it’s only an initial consultation and it won’t hardly cost anything. We’ll pay-’
‘Hold on Darling, hold on. I said I’ll think about it. I’ll have a talk with your Dad and see what he thinks.’
‘Okay, but please don’t take too long. The sooner you see someone the better we’ll all feel.’
The better we’ll all feel – The better WE’LL ALL feel, said Georgina to herself as she walked down towards the shops. The conversation with Lynnette had taken her completely by surprise; she hadn’t seen it coming and she was fuming. As soon as she could she’d made her excuses and left pretending she needed something urgently from the chemist.
The better YOU’LL feel is what you mean you bloody busy body. Why can’t you just leave things alone? Why must you always know what’s best for everyone and think you’ve got the God-given right to interfere?
Georgina was worried. She’d thought that by keeping her thoughts to herself, cooperating about the stupid extension and being so, so nice to everyone especially David, they’d think everything was alright and would back off. She hadn’t expected them all to believe she was a changed woman but she had thought she was starting to sway them. Well, not Lynnette apparently, not “Little Miss I Know Best” Lynnette.
Calm down, think it through. She decided to have that talk with David and hopefully convince him that she was alright and that the last thing they needed was someone from outside the family poking around in their business - and poking around in her head. God - what a lot of nonsense! What would be achieved by that? A waste of money, that’s what that would be. That’s the angle to play with David – a waste of money that they can’t afford right now. I’ll sweet-talk him, turn on the charm and show him a little affection and he’ll see sense. I just hope Lynnette hasn’t already got her claws into him; he hangs on her every word sometimes. No, he’ll see sense.
When she saw David later and after making him a coffee and sitting close to him on the sofa, she spent a little time talking about the new furniture they’d discussed and held his hand while they went over the plans for the extension. Finally, she brought up Lynnette’s suggestion about her seeing someone.
‘I really don’t think it’s a good idea Darling, it would cost so much money, you know how expensive private medical care can be and besides, I don’t think it would serve any purpose. I’m alright you know. I know I was bad-tempered sometimes and I know I wasn’t very nice to you when I was that way but I feel so much better now. That time apart reminded me how much I love you and made me appreciate just what I have in you. Now we’re back together again I just want us to be happy. We are happy, aren’t we David? You’re happy aren’t you?’
‘Yes Georgie, I am happy; really happy. We’ve been through a lot over these last few months and I must admit we’re closer right now than we’ve been for a long time. I don’t want anything to spoil that.’
‘I love you so much David. Nothing’s going to spoil what we’ve got and I really don’t think we need someone interfering in our business. I know Lynnette means well but I think we’re going to be fine from now on.’
‘You were a little scary you know. I was really frightened sometimes.’
‘Don’t be silly David, Darling. I just lost my temper occasionally. I’ve always loved you, I always will.’
‘I know you do but don’t you think it’s worth just having a chat with someone? It wouldn’t cost that much and then we’ll know that you really are okay. I’ve been really worried about you, you know.’
‘If you insist I will, but I need some time to think about it. I’m fine honest. I never feel the slightest bit upset these days; it’s living here with you, Lynnette, Leo and Emily. When we get the extension built and we’re all finally settled we’ll be fine. You’ll see.’
‘Alright, but promise me you will think about it, please.’
‘I will David, I promise but I don’t think it’s necessary.’
***
After a week in which Georgina had gone out of her way to be especially nice to everyone, cooking, cleaning, buying little gifts for Emily and holding hands with David while they walked down the street, she hadn’t mentioned the subject of seeing anyone about her “problem.” When no-one else had brought it up she thought she might just get away with it. Lynnette knew she’d spoken to David about it and Georgina also knew that they’d spoken to each other about it when they thought she couldn’t hear them. Georgina’s plan was to carry on as she had been since she’d come back in the hope that they would gradually come to think that she was alright now or at least getting better and that there was no need to involve anyone else in their lives.
Unfortunately for her, it looked as though that was not to be. She noticed Lynnette, David and Leo all talking quietly to each other at various times and as her paranoia started to set in, she started to think they were always talking about her.
What she didn’t know was that her plan had been working and they’d been so impressed by her behaviour since she’d been home with them that they’d decided to plan a special celebration for her. Lynnette had spoken to both Leo and David and they’d all agreed that it was time to recognize that she was making a real effort and to tell her how happy they were with the progress she was making. Lynnette had also said that as she’d worked so hard, there was probably no need to insist on her going to see someone and that they would only encourage her to think about it if she felt she needed to herself.
She almost blew it; almost lost all the headway she’d gained over the last few weeks.
When she was out shopping with David in the afternoon, he told her that they were all going to get together that evening. When she asked him why, he smiled at her but was cagey and wouldn’t tell her. After pressing him, he still refused to tell her and she started to worry. Her first reaction was frustration and for the first time in weeks, she was about to raise her voice and drag it out of him. She caught herself just in time and despite the anxiety and anger that was building, she managed to stay calm and accept that she would have to wait to find out what the big secret was.
Throughout the rest of the day, her anxiety continued to build. She told David she needed a bit of fresh air and that she’d decided to go out for a walk on her own. He didn’t question her because it gave him and Lynnette the chance to start preparing some of the party dishes they’d been planning to make.
Georgina’s thoughts raced about what was going to be said when they all sat down and told her what was best for her and what they’d all decided to do, or make her do.
If she had to see someone; then so be it. She’d go along with it if she had to and prove that there was nothing wrong with her. She’d pretty much fooled all of them for years, she was sure she could fool some idiot of a doctor who’d only see her for half an hour or so. Good luck with that!
What if they were going to bring up the money she’d moved? Stealing! That’s what they’d call that. Oh God! How can I get round this? I could say I was putting it to one side to take David away for a surprise holiday or something. I could say any number of things. I’ve been too relaxed; I should have thought this through. They’ve just been waiting to trip me up, I know it.
She was frightened and she started to feel sick. Her heart rate was up and she was getting short of breath. God, what’s wrong with me? What am I so bot
hered about? Calm down you stupid woman! They’re no match for you. Stop being so silly and calm down now!
It was a good twenty minutes before she felt calm enough to think about going home. She decided she had two options. One was to accept everything they said and go along with their stupid suggestions regardless of how she felt about it. The second option was to rebel a little and remind them that she had a mind of her own and that while she was willing to go along with them, there were limits to what she would do. The problem with the second option was that they would think she hadn’t really changed or that she hadn’t fully accepted that she’d been wrong in the past and that could set her back weeks.
She decided to go with option one and accept her fate, whatever that turned out to be. If they brought up the money she would just say that she hadn’t really had a plan for it and that once she’d started transferring it, she hadn’t really given it much thought. A surprise holiday for her and David was the best she could come up with; that would have to do. If they didn’t like that they could lump it, there was only so far she could go before she’d have had enough and wouldn’t be able to stop herself.
She hadn’t realised the time and when she walked in the house her heart sank to the pit of her stomach, all her feelings of anxiousness returning in a rush like the blow of a hammer. They were all there; all waiting for her like some inquisition.
‘Surprise!’ shouted David.
The table was set and covered with dishes of food, and glasses of champagne had been poured. As she looked up, David, Lynnette and Leo raised glasses to her as though they were making a toast. Even little Emily raised a glass of cola with a big smile on her face. For a moment Georgina was lost and confused.
‘To you Darling,’ said David.
‘To you Mum, well done,’ said Lynnette.
‘Yes Georgina, to you,’ said Leo.
‘We love you Nana,’ said Emily. ‘Look what we’ve been doing. We’re having a party just for you.’
‘Well, not quite a party Sweetheart but we are having a celebration,’ said Lynnette. ‘Mum, we all think the world of you and we’re so pleased how well things are going with you and Dad, we thought we should celebrate and show you how much we all love you. Now here’s a glass, come on, have a drink.’
Totally taken aback, Georgina was lost for words. The feeling of relief that swept over her was overwhelming and she felt a little faint. It was all she could do to take the glass from Lynnette and she started to cry softly.
‘Oh, thank you so much, all of you. You’re so silly; I haven’t done anything, really. I’m so happy that we’re all together and so happy that we’ve put the past behind us. Here’s to the future and here’s to Lynnette, Leo and you too Emily for making it all happen, I love you all and appreciate everything you’ve done for me and David.’
‘Hear, hear,’ said David going across to Georgina and hugging her tightly. ‘Thank you all so much, you’ve changed our lives. God bless you.’
Georgina couldn’t believe it. She’d been filled with mixed emotions when she stepped through the door seeing them all standing together, facing her. When David had shouted “Surprise” they’d all parted and revealed the table, beautifully laid and covered with dishes and dishes of food. For a moment, just before he spoke, she’d been about to give up and tell them all what she thought of them; all her earlier resolve to be meek and compliant had left her and she’d been ready to let rip. Thank god David had spoken up when he did otherwise all her efforts over the last few weeks would have been wasted and she would have been back at square one. God bless him, he did have some uses.
Gritting her teeth, she continued to smile as she raised her glass and took a small drink. Jesus that was close, she thought to herself. You need to be so careful. You’re getting there, it’s just a matter of time; be patient, you must be patient. But this needs to move on, it’s so hard, I don’t know how much longer I can cope.
Chapter 27
‘Well, according to the architect, the planning is set to be signed off in the next couple of days and if that all goes ahead okay we’ll be able to arrange to start the building works as soon as the builder is available after that.’
‘That’s great Leo. How long does the builder think the whole thing will take? Does he know?’ asked David.
‘It depends on when we give him the go-ahead. If we’re willing to wait for about another two weeks or so, he’s got a window where he can fit the job in with his whole team and they’ll get the job done in one big push. If we do that, and assuming everything goes okay, it’s likely to take about six weeks. He said it’s quite a straightforward job for him. Mind you, there’s always likely to be delays and unexpected snags so I think we should allow for at least eight weeks if we’re realistic.’
‘That’s not too bad I suppose,’ said Lynnette. ‘When do we sign the contract for him to start the work? And how much do we have to pay up front?’
‘We’ll sign when we arrange for him to start and other than the deposit we agreed, we won’t pay anything until they’ve finished; that’s part of our agreement. Overall it’s not too big a job for him so as long as we pay him the deposit when we sign, there’s nothing to stop it all going ahead.’
Brilliant, said Georgina to herself - Marvellous. Once the building starts we’ll be totally committed to staying here. She wasn’t sure if she’d fully come to terms with living close to Lynnette yet, never mind living in the same house. Oh well, needs must. We’ve got no choice now, especially as our little house has gone.
The estate agent’s prediction had proved to be correct and the house in Calthorpe had sold quite quickly at the asking price and it was now only a matter of time before contracts were exchanged and the money came through. There was going to be ample to pay for the extension and leave a tidy sum left over to add to their nest egg.
Georgina was still unsure how things would work out in the long term but she felt she’d actually manged to curb her anger and frustration quite well considering what she was having to put up with. She felt powerless when everyone sat and talked about how wonderful life was going to be however, and she was sometimes tempted to say something just to vent a little. So far she hadn’t and she’d started to wonder whether it was time to put the occasional spanner in the works - just for fun of course; she needed some kind of relief, god knows she deserved it, didn’t she?
As time went on she was finding it harder and harder to control herself and each time she was faced with a situation where she would have normally reacted in some way, she had to force herself to back down and stay silent. Inside, she was infuriated and filled with anger almost beyond belief. She was almost at breaking point…
***
Just over two weeks later everything started to happen at once. The builders were set to start work on the foundations the following day so Lynnette was working in the garden, moving plants that she wanted to save. Emily was helping and although they were enjoying themselves, both of them had become very dirty. When they’d finished Emily went inside to clean up while Lynnette put the tools away.
‘My, my Emily you’re filthy, what on earth have you been up to?’ said Georgina.
‘We’ve been digging Nana, it’s been great fun.’
‘Really - have you finished now? You need to go and get washed before tea.’
‘Yes Nana, I’m going up now. Do you want to come out and help us if we have to do some more?’
‘No Darling, I used to like gardening at my house but I haven’t got a house now so I won’t be gardening anymore.’
‘But Nana, you can do some gardening here. When the builders have finished there’ll be loads to do.’
‘Yes but it won’t be my garden, will it? I’ll be stuck with indoor plants wherever I can fit them.’
‘But, if we talk to Mummy I’m sure she’ll let you have part of our garden to use and you can do what you want.’
‘Yes, that would be about right,’ said Georgina lowering her voice to a mumble.
‘That would sum it all up; I’ll go cap in hand begging for a little piece of garden. What else will I have to beg for? Ask permission for from little “Miss I’m In Charge?”’
‘Sorry Nana, I didn’t hear you. What did you say?’
‘Emily, It’s not “sorry” it’s “pardon me”. Now go and wash your hands and face, there’s a good girl.’
Interesting, said Lynnette to herself. She’d overheard everything her Mum had said through the kitchen window and although not surprised at what she’d heard, she was disappointed that her Mum appeared to be all for the extension and all for living with them but obviously had some misgivings that she hadn’t made known. She started to wonder if her Mum was genuinely happy to go along with what they’d decided or whether what she was doing was all for show to make them think everything was now okay. Perhaps she should raise the suggestion of her Mum seeing a psychiatrist again to see her reaction; that might be interesting.
She decided to have a chat with Leo to give him the heads-up, but wouldn’t tell her Dad just yet. He seemed really happy at the moment and the last thing she wanted to do was upset him unnecessarily if she was mistaken.
‘What do you think?’
‘I don’t know, but I must admit, it has all seemed a bit too good to be true when I think about it, but, like you said, we shouldn’t say anything to your Dad just yet, just in case we’re wrong.’
‘Should I ask her or leave it and just keep an eye on her for now?’
‘Keep an eye on her for now. We all saw how she was before and even though she was on her own for quite a while with plenty of time to think, the change in her behaviour has been way beyond what I expected.’
‘Yes, I know what you mean. I thought she’d come round but we’d still be faced with some arguments and her attitude would slip back to what it was to a degree. Not with any violence, but I thought she might have periods of bad temper now and again. At the moment she’s all sweetness and light with all of us. I’m tempted to do something to test her, what do you think?’