Orphaned at a young age, she had been raised by relatives until she was old enough to go to boarding school. They paid for her education and basic necessities, but she never went home for holidays or vacations. Jillian had grown up with the knowledge that she was unwanted by her own family, a burden they resented.
Now a handsome young man, a gentleman raised to privilege and wealth, spoke to her of love, family, and marriage. He begged to take her away and treat her like a queen. He promised to shower her with gifts and make her happy.
Alone in her room, Jillian could remember that innocent girl and forgive her weakness. Unloved and unwanted, she had been desperate for someone to need her. That schoolgirl had no way of knowing that the Clarence’s handsome face and smooth ways hid a selfish child that quickly tired of his new toy and was soon out looking for something more exciting. Jillian had kept her vows and ignored the shame he heaped on her head. She had not wished him dead, but felt no sorrow that he was gone.
Jillian waited until Sara left the room, her evening duties done. Then she crept from the bed and pulled an old carpetbag from its hiding place in the closet. It already held the few dresses that she had brought with her before Clarence and his mother decided they were unsuitable.
Lying on top of the old dresses was a paper, the Matrimonial Times, smuggled in when her mother-in-law wasn’t looking. Mrs. Vandergeld would never allow her to use such an unsophisticated method to remarry, but Jillian refused to let the woman control her life any more. She would escape this stifling place and find her own way in the world. A place where her child could be raised safe from the corrupting influence of this house.
Waiting just long enough to add a few necessities, Jillian dressed in the darkness and opened her door. The house was silent. Mrs. Vandergeld insisted on an early bedtime for everyone except Clarence. Jillian felt her way down the shadowed hallway and down the stairs. Pale moonlight flooded the entry hall as she opened the front door. With a deep sense of freedom, she pulled the massive door closed behind her and set off into the night.
* * *
With a grimace, David managed to choke down the congealed mass of half cooked porridge. In the weeks since Mrs. Brewster left, he had learned to eat fast enough to avoid tasting anything. He hoped he would receive a reply to his advert in the Marriage Times soon. If he had to rely on his own cooking much longer, his attempt at ranching would be short lived indeed.
He stuck the spoon into his bowl and shuddered when it stood straight as a flagpole in the cold lump that remained. Nope. Enough was enough. He would ride into town for at least one decent meal. He had planned to dredge out the waterhole today, but that could wait. There was water enough, at least until summer came to suck it dry.
Today he was going to eat real food for a change.
The big buckskin gelding seemed to share his mood and set out at a pace that he could hold for miles. It would take half a day to reach town, but it would be a chance to catch up on the news and stock up on some supplies. Maybe he would be able to find a housekeeper this time, just in case his advert didn’t work out. There had to be someone willing to do a bit of cooking and cleaning in exchange for a place to stay and a small wage.
The sun was high and hot on his shoulders when he rode into town. It wasn’t much of a place, but it met his needs well enough. He pulled up in front of the hotel and swung down from the gelding. He took off his hat and used it to beat the worst of the dust from his chaps. Miss Millie wasn’t fond of cowboys bringing trail dust into her place.
“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” Miss Millie, a middle-aged woman with a girth wide enough for two women bustled up to him and pulled him down for a hug. Millie liked to think all the men in town were her sons. “You sit right down boy and I’ll bring you some vittles. It looks like you haven’t eaten in weeks.”
David grinned and sat at a nearby table. “Well, Miss Millie, there has been stuff getting to my stomach, but I don’t know as I would call it eating. Nothing like you make, anyhow.”
The portly woman tsked and shook her head. “Sally, Mrs. Brewster left you months ago and you ain’t found anyone to replace her yet?” Millie set a plate stacked high with steak and potatoes on the table in front of him. David closed his eyes and savored the rich smells.
“Smellin’ it don’t get it into your belly, boy. Dig in.” Despite her gruff words, Miss Millie smiled and patted his shoulder. She poured a cup of coffee and sat across the table from him. “Now how come you’re still alone way out there?”
Chewing slowly, David considered his answer. “Well, ma’am, it is being way out there that causes the trouble. I can’t find anyone willing to come live with me so far from town. Especially since I can’t pay much until I sell some of my herd. Mrs. Brewster told me to find a wife.”
“A wife is just the thing you need.” Millie leaned in and whispered, “who you got in mind for courtin’?”
“There aren’t so many single women around here, Miss Millie.” David looked down at his plate and concentrated on cutting his steak. “I put an ad in the paper.”
“What was that boy? You’re mumbling.” Millie narrowed her eyes.
“I put an advert in the Matrimonial Times. I’m hoping to get an answer soon.” David refused to look up and he could feel the blood heating his cheeks.
“Well I’ll be dog gone. Advertising for a wife.” To his surprise, Millie started nodding. “Makes sense, actually. Not too many women out here and back east I imagine there are plenty. When you get your answer, bring her in here and I’ll check her out. Men ain’t no good at judging women, they never see past a pretty face.”
“She can look like my horse for all I care. I don’t care much about her face, I just hope she can cook and clean.” David slowed his eating as his hunger eased. Millie was staring hard at him with a stern expression on her face.
“You bring a girl all the way out here, far from her family and friends and you better treat her better than that, boy. A girl needs love and affection, no matter what she looks like. You treat her good or you’ll answer to me.”
“Yes, ma’am, but I got to meet her myself first.”
Chapter Three
Jillian checked the name on the advertisement as the train pulled up to the station. Red Lodge seemed an odd name for a town, but there had been others even stranger. Now she just had to find out who had written the advert. Of course there were no names attached, but how many men could there be in a tiny town like this seeking an eastern bride?
Gathering her cloak and gloves, Jillian checked the faint reflection in the window to make sure her hat was straight. She barely recognized the pale face looking back at her. The constant swaying of the train car had made nausea her constant companion. Her mother-in-law … former mother-in-law … could no longer comment about her weight. Even with the faint roundness of her stomach barely beginning to show, no one could call her anything but thin, even gaunt.
Hopefully, the man she had chosen would understand. With carpetbag in hand, Jillian took a deep breath and stepped onto the dusty planks that served as a train station. Dismay grew as she looked around. There was a single street lined by faded false-front buildings, most of which had the look of saloons. Even with the sun just short of midday, rough looking ponies dozed at hitching rails. Perhaps she would have been better off sending a letter first; to make sure she had a place to go.
No, if she had waited, her disappearance would have been discovered and that would have been an end to her escape and her secrets. Mrs. Vandergeld was not a woman to accept disobedience quietly. Jillian had scrutinized all the adverts in the Matrimonial Times and this was the only one that seemed to be a possibility.
Lonely rancher in Red Lodge, Montana seeks a female companion to share life on his remote ranch. Must be able to cook, clean, and run household. Any age welcome.
It was one of the few ads not to require a picture. It was also one of the few to mention a destination and the fact that it was remote. Jillian needed
a place to hide, a refuge where Mrs. Vandergeld would not look just in case she somehow managed to find out about the baby. If the woman learned that her precious only son had fathered a child, she would not rest until the baby was hers.
Jillian refused to condemn her child to the woman’s smothering custody. It wasn’t that she wanted a piece of Clarence to herself, if anything; Jillian prayed that the babe would show no signs of who the father was. What she wanted was a family. Someone to love and care for, to raise with all the affection her own childhood had missed. Maybe someday, she would write to Clarence’s mother and let her know that she had a grandchild, but not until Jillian felt safely hidden.
For now, this flyspeck town in the middle of nowhere answered her needs very well. Now all she needed was a husband and a new name to complete her disguise. Walking from the station to a nearby building with a wooden sign proclaiming it to be a motel, Jillian kept her shoulders straight and ignored the nausea that continued to churn.
* * *
David leaned back in his chair sipping a last cup of coffee. Miss Millie had bustled off somewhere claiming that there was work to do. His own ranch called to him and he knew he should head home, but at the moment, his belly was pleasantly full of good food and his mood mellow. The ranch could fend for itself for a few more hours.
It took him a moment to focus on what he was seeing through the hotel’s big picture window. A pale faced woman in black was crossing the street carrying a worn carpetbag that seemed to be trying to drag her to the ground. There were few enough women in town, many of them still sleeping even though the sun was beginning its decent to the west. Certainly none of them wore such an outfit, covering her from neck to toe. Or such quality, the black material had the faint sheen of silk.
What was such a woman doing in a hole-in-the-wall town as Red Lodge?
The woman pushed open the door setting the bell tied to the handle into a frenzy. David tugged his hat lower over his eyes so that he could continue to watch her without being noticed. Miss Millie came out with her usual beaming smile to greet the new arrival.
“Welcome, welcome. We don’t often get such pretty young ladies in our little town. Are you here visiting friends? You look awfully pale dearie, do you feel well?” Miss Millie draped an arm around the younger woman’s shoulders and guided her to a table. The young woman stared at Millie and seemed dazed at the instant familiarity.
David smiled; the woman did love to mother everyone whether or not they wanted it. The newcomer did look as if they needed someone to look out for her. He had noticed her pale face through the window, but now that she was just a few feet away, he could also see the dark circles under her eyes and the tired droop to her lips. She had come to the right place. Miss Millie would take good care of her.
“If you please, ma’am, I’m looking for someone.” The young woman’s voice was quiet and carried a hint of refinement. It had been a long time since David had heard such speech.
Millie’s eyes brightened. “Well, I know just about everyone within a hundred-mile radius or more, who are you looking for, child?”
The young woman pulled out a worn piece of paper and unfolded it. “I don’t know his name, but he wrote this ad. I would like to fill the position.”
“A position,” Millie exclaimed. “In my opinion, you don’t look well enough to take any kind of position.”
“Oh, but I need to.” The woman’s voice took on an earnestness that made David tip his hat back and look at her more closely. “I know I don’t look my best, but I have never liked riding on trains, the motion makes me ill. Will you read this and see if it sounds like anyone you know.”
She pushed the paper toward Millie and chewed her lip waiting for the older woman to make her way through the print. David couldn’t help but notice the lip currently being chewed on was well shaped and set in a pleasant expression. The young woman’s scanned the room as Millie read. The gaze fell on him and her eyes widened before looking back at the paper.
Millie was done reading and she had turned to look at him with raised eyebrows. What had she read to make her look at him that way? David felt his cheeks heat as he realized what was happening.
The woman had come in answer to an ad. She didn’t know the name of the person who had written it, but she knew it was a man. A man who lived in Red Lodge. Miss Millie was standing and walking over to his table with the paper in her hand. The young woman watched with a puzzled expression.
Chapter Four
The man sitting at the other table seemed to cringe as the proprietor walked toward him. The plump older woman seemed very pleasant and kind, so why would he look so uncomfortable? Jillian wished she had asked the woman’s opinion in a more private place. She would hate for her business to be spread about town. Oh well, it was too late now.
“David, do you know anything about this advertisement?” The woman’s tone was incredulous. The man at the other table barely glanced at the paper before nodding. He hadn’t even read it …
Realization dawned. He didn’t need to read it, perhaps because he had written it. Jillian sat back in her chair and tried to steady her hands. What were the chances of running into the very man she had come to find within minutes of stepping off the train? Surely, providence was guiding her steps.
She stood and walked to his table. She felt his eyes follow her even though she couldn’t see them shaded as they were beneath the brim of his hat. The other woman laid the Matrimonial Times on the man’s table and eased away disappearing through a swinging door that Jillian presumed led to the kitchen.
“My name is Jillian Greene.” She took a steadying breath. “I am here to answer your ad … at least I presume it is yours.”
The man nodded and stood, removing his hat as he did so. Jillian blinked. The man was young. And handsome. She had come prepared to find a paunchy older man certainly an unattractive one. She couldn’t imagine anyone else who would have so much trouble finding a wife that he needed to advertise for one. Perhaps there was something else wrong with this man that more than made up for his looks.
“I’m David Blackstone.” A red flush stained his cheeks and he focused his gaze on the hat held tightly between his hands. “I wasn’t expecting anyone to just show up. I kind of thought I would get a letter first.” His face grew redder and he waved at a chair. “Please sit, you don’t look so good.”
Jillian lifted her chin. She could not be expected to look good after four days on a train and nothing to eat beyond a bit of tea and toast. Nothing else stayed down. She had hoped to rent a room at least long enough to tidy up. Still, there was no help for it.
“It was a long journey.” She lowered herself into the indicated chair. “I didn’t write because there was no time. Yours was the only advertisement that interested me so I came straight away. Is that a problem?”
“No, I just wasn’t prepared ….” David sat back down. His eyes flashed to meet hers for a second before flinching away. Not long enough for her to judge the color other than the fact that they were dark. He raked a hand through the matted curls that were in need of a trim. “I was going to take my time and read several letters before I made my choice.”
Jillian nodded and tried to keep the frown from her face. She hadn’t thought about rivals for the position. “I understand. I can tell you what I would have written in a letter.” She paused, “How many letters have you received so far?”
David shrugged wide shoulders and looked at her again. His eyes were blue, a dark and stormy blue. “None. I had about given up hope.”
The tension drained from her shoulders. Maybe this would work after all.
* * *
A widow. David hadn’t considered that possibility. And pregnant. His gaze slid to her waist before jerking away. He had no business looking at her like that. She didn’t look pregnant, but then he had no idea what that looked like in humans. With horses and cattle, he could tell within weeks of breeding, but women were a whole other world. The woman, Jillian, had
no family and claimed that her late husband’s family wanted nothing to do with her or the child. What kind of family threw out one of its members?
He shook his head once, but stopped when he saw her long thin fingers plucking at a stray thread on her skirts. The woman seemed calm, but those restless fingers gave away her anxiety. Even as he watched, her narrow hands stilled and lay folded in her lap.
She was as nervous as he was. Somehow that knowledge helped. David sat back and sighed. “You should know I really had no idea of getting married. My former housekeeper up and left me, marrying some poor farmer trying to scratch a living out of the ground. I mostly want someone who will fix meals and keep my house in order. I don’t have enough income yet to afford to hire anyone, so I’m out riding the range most of the time, checking for strays and such.”
The clatter coming from the kitchen brought Millie’s words of advice back to him, a girl needs love and affection, no matter what she looks like.’ What did he know of love and affection? Life out here was hard and often dangerous. Most days it was all he could do to keep body and soul together, there was little time or energy left for the softer emotions.
David lifted his gaze to Jillian’s face. The dark circles under her eyes and the hollows under her cheeks emphasized the pallor of her skin but none of that disguised the fact that she was a very beautiful woman. Surely she had better prospects than hitching herself to a struggling rancher. “I can’t offer you much. I’m not a rich man and the life on a ranch is hard there’s no time out here for poetry or romance.”
“I assure you, sir, I have no interest in either one.” Jillian’s eyes went hard. “I won’t claim that I mourn my husband, for all he was full of poetry and romance while he was courting me. I soon learned how much those things mean. All I am looking for is a safe refuge where I can raise my child in peace.”
[2016] Widow Finds Love Page 22