Fanny smiled and assured the woman that she would, then she turned her attention back to the window. The grass was rushing past the wheels quickly, almost too quickly for Fanny to watch without feeling dizzy. For the first time in the whole trip, she didn’t feel nervous about leaving the contract with Miss Jasmine. Now she wondered if she ought to start another contract with Charles Brahms.
The woman left the stage in the next town, leaving Fanny alone with her thoughts. As much as she tried to focus on the scenery, she couldn’t shake what the woman had said out of her head. As she sat there, all she could picture was that woman on the other side of the stage, with that odd look in her eye. For a brief moment, Fanny imagined it was her sitting there, telling another young woman to choose her path carefully.
Fanny shook her head and sat straight up.
“Fanny! You stop that this instant. You know what you are doing, and you are going to be happy. That woman is crazy, and more than likely she is just trying to scare you. Brahms is a good man, you can tell with his letters.”
Speaking out loud made Fanny feel better, and she was glad this time there was nobody in the stage to ask her about what she said. She sat back and closed her eyes, forcing her thoughts to focus on something else.
She knew what she was doing, and nothing was going to stop her.
Chapter 5 – Arrival
Packard was a small and dusty town. The dust took a few moments to settle before Fanny could see the people milling about. It looked to her as though stage coaches didn’t arrive often, as most of the people stopped to see who would get off of the coach.
Fanny opened the door, and stood at the top of the stairway on the coach. She shaded her eyes from the dust and heat that beat down on her, and coughed as some of the dust swirled up and around her.
Suddenly, someone caught her eye in the corner of the group. There was a single, well-dressed man that was waiving to her, trying to get her attention. Fanny waived in return, and reached up to grab her bag off the top of the stage.
“Here you go, Miss. I hope you enjoyed the ride.”
Fanny thanked the driver and took her bag from him, then jumped down to the ground. She pushed her way through the crowd, making an effort to reach the edge of the crowd where she had seen Brahms. Suddenly, the crowd broke, and Brahms stood in front of her.
He was taller than she thought he was going to be, and she was pleasantly surprised with his good looks. She wanted a man that she found attractive, but she didn’t prioritize that when she was on her way out west. All she had wanted was a man that would marry her, and make a home together. The fact that he was tall and good looking as an added bonus that Fanny loved.
She could tell he also found her attractive, though his manners prevented him from saying so. It was clear he was used to living the butler life, and he hid his emotions from the people around him.
“My, my, you are more beautiful than I imagined. I thought you were an angel getting off of that stage coach to meet me.”
Fanny felt her cheeks blush as she smiled at him, and returned the compliment. Brahms held his arm out to her, and took her bag in his other hand.
“The preacher man isn’t in town often, so we better make it to the church before he heads out to the next town. Shall we?”
Fanny couldn’t describe how she felt walking through the town next to Brahms. There was something enchanting about him that made her feel on top of the world as she strode next to him, her hand looped through his arm and resting on his forearm.
It felt as though the people on the street were parting just for them to pass through, and Fanny felt like a queen. She didn’t know what to expect for the ceremony, and was grateful it was short and sweet. She ignored the fact it wasn’t what she had dreamed her wedding would be, but rather focused on the fact she was now married.
“I purchased a small house on the edge of town. I think you will find it to your liking anyway.”
Charles looked down at his new bride and smiled a tight, small smile. There was something about him that intimidated Fanny, but another part of him that made her want to know him better.
“I think I’ll like it just fine. I have never had my own house before, in fact, few people I have worked for have owned their own houses. I am used to working in hotels.”
Fanny laughed nervously, wondering why she felt so awkward around him. He was her husband, so she should feel at ease. Yet, whenever he looked down at her, she would look down at her feet, or look off into the distance. She wondered if she was having the same effect on him, but he was so good at covering how he felt, there was no way she could tell for sure.
“I worked at a mansion myself. I grew up side by side with the young master of the house, and when his father passed a lot of the servants quit. I took the opportunity to rise to the position of butler. What’s your story?”
Fanny suddenly felt intimidated by his story. It sounded as though he had been with the same family for years, and that was certainly something to be proud of. Perhaps he wouldn’t think she was worth his time if he knew that she had a hard time keeping a position.
“I liked to travel a lot. That’s why I worked with a lot of hotels. I have worked as a maid in a few households, and I had a yearlong contract with the last family, but I broke the contract. I guess that was foolish of me.”
“Nonsense. I was supposed to stay with the family myself, but there was a shift in the household, and I was ready to take off and make my own. This is a land of opportunity! My entire family has been used to the service, I want to be the first one to break out of that.”
Fanny agreed with him on that one, but she let the conversation die. She wanted to take a moment now and enjoy the countryside, taking in all of the different sights there were to see. Packer was so different than the town she was used to. In fact, Dakota was like a whole new world to her. There weren’t a lot of people in fancy clothing, in fact, many of them looked like farmers.
She had seen few cowboys where she was from, but here, they were everywhere. Yet, through it all, it seemed as though Charles fit in like a fish in water. Fanny wondered if she also fit in, or if she stood out from the crowd as much as she felt she did.
She wanted to make mention of it, but Charles suddenly stopped, and led her through a small gate.
“My dear,” he said, “we are home.”
Chapter 6 – Married Life or Maid Life?
The house was everything Fanny had hoped it would be, and more. It was small, yet bigger than she had expected, with a small stable off to the side. There were no horses and no buggy, but there was a lazy dog that rose to meet them when they walked up the pathway.
“That there is Jim, he came with the house. Good dog.”
Charles stopped to pat the dog on the head as they walked by, and Fanny greeted him warmly. She was glad she had a dog, it made everything feel more like home. She would have bent down to pet him more, but Charles was on his way into the house, and she felt she better stay with him as much as she could.
Inside, the house was clean. There wasn’t a lot of furniture inside, but it was clean. She wondered if Charles had done all of that work himself, or if he had hired someone to do the work for him. Her question was soon answered, without her having to ask.
“I had some help cleaning the place this past week, but I don’t want to make a habit of bringing in outside help. I would say we are both used to the hard work involved in keeping a house clean, and we shouldn’t need anyone to have to do it for us.”
Fanny chuckled, but she stopped when she could see he was quite serious on the matter.
“Do you find that funny, my dear?”
“No, I… I’m just happy. I never thought I would have a house of my own, and here we are. This is like a dream come true!”
Fanny saw his face relax, and he smiled the warmest smile she had seen. Part of her felt better knowing that he could relax, but that was soon gone as he gave her a list to do that evening.
“I am going
into town. In the back of the house you will find a small chicken coop, which will be perfect for a few hens, I think. There are a few hens the McCurdys can spare if we get to them early, so I must be on my way. You will also find what you need in the cupboard to make supper, and what you need in the pantry to cook it. I will be back soon.”
With that, Brahms was gone, and Fanny was left wondering what just happened. At one moment, she felt as though she was on top of the world, and the queen of her own castle, then the next moment, she felt like… a maid.
Fanny had worked under butlers before, and even when she was a real maid she never liked the feeling. That was the same feeling that came over her now, and she didn’t like it. For a very brief moment, her mind flashed back to the woman on the stagecoach, and she felt sick.
Had she made a mistake coming out here to marry a man she didn’t know? Should she have waited and gotten to know him better before she came all the way out here? Was this a bad idea after all?
Fanny put her hand to her forehead, and sighed. She looked down at her dress. She had worn her best dress for the wedding, but now it looked to her as though she was wearing what a housekeeper would wear.
This is nonsense. I am a wife, not a maid. Of course I am going to have to do my part to keep this going. That’s just life!
She forced a smile and picked up the broom. She didn’t feel like she needed to sweep, but as long as it was her home, sweeping couldn’t hurt. Charles had said he was going to get them some hens. That meant they were going to have their own eggs, and chicken whenever they wanted to. Fanny knew how to make a delicious fried chicken, and she couldn’t wait to show Brahms her skills.
Dinner was a simple stew that she made from memory. Whenever there was unexpected company in the house, she made this soup. Nobody ever complained, and she got more than one compliment from her employer at the time. Fanny figured that their first dinner needed to be a hit, and she couldn’t think of a better idea than her famous soup.
She set the table, and spooned the food into the bowls, then she sat down to wait. More than an hour had passed since Charles had left, so she expected him any time now. Maybe it was going to take him a while longer since he would be bringing chickens with him, but certainly he would be there within the hour.
Time passed, and eventually Fanny decided she was going to eat without him. Still more time passed, and it started to get dark. Fanny cleaned up dinner, leaving Charles’s meal on the table for him. It seemed like an eternity before he finally opened the door and came in.
“I chose half a dozen hens. I think that will be plenty to start with. They are out in the house now, and with any luck we’ll have eggs before the week is out.”
Charles sat down in front of his meal, and ceremonially laid out the silver. Fanny expected him to tell her where he had been, but he didn’t say anything on the matter. In fact, he didn’t say anything at all. The silence was getting to be unbearable, and Fanny wondered if she out to say something.
“Did you enjoy your trip into town?”
The question hung in the air awkwardly, and Charles completely ignored her until he finished his meal. When he was done, he slid back his chair and placed his hands in his coat pockets. Fanny couldn’t shake out of her mind the butler that took charge of the last mansion she had served.
Alarmingly, Charles seemed to be the same way.
“That was delicious my dear. Thank you. I am going to retire now, and I suggest you do the same soon. Tomorrow is going to come soon enough, and there is much to do.”
He rose and kissed her on the forehead, then went back to their room.
Fanny sat in the same chair she had been, ignoring all of her feelings, and watching the fire crackle away.
Chapter 7 – Making a Move
Fanny spent her days much the same. Between cleaning, cooking, and going to town for the errands, she was busy most of the time. Three weeks had gone by since her arrival, but she felt like it had been months. Every now and then she would think about that woman on the stage, but she would do her best to get rid of the thought before it lingered.
Charles spent most of his days in town. Fanny didn’t know how to ask him if she might join him on his trips, but he never invited her unless he was going to church. Fanny had always enjoyed going to church when she had the chance, and she made an even bigger effort to do so now that it was her only time to see Charles.
She would dress in her best dress and sit tall and proud next to him, but she never felt as though she had his attention. She always felt as though he was the butler of the house and she was in charge. Their time spent together was often spent talking about ways they could improve the house, but it was always to impress the guests.
With each passing day, Fanny felt as though she was getting close to her breaking point, and she didn’t like it. She wanted to feel like she was part of the family, not the maid, and she wanted to feel as though Charles was her husband, not her butler.
She knew something had to change, or it wasn’t going to work. Finally, the day came that pushed her past her breaking point.
Charles had told her it was his birthday, a few days before, and Fanny had determined to make it a special one. She carefully planned the cake she would make, and scraped together the bit of money she had managed to make in the past few weeks from the eggs she had sold.
After bartering and taking some money on loan from her friend, Fanny managed to convince the shop owner to sell her a watch. It was a beautiful watch with gold overlay on the front of it, and a wind up face on the inside. Fanny was so proud of the watch, and she couldn’t wait to give it to her husband.
This was going to be the changing point for her relationship. Once Charles saw the watch, he would realize how much she loved him, and stop seeing her as the maid of the house and see her as his wife. She just knew it.
The day before Charles’ birthday Fanny spent baking his cake, and carefully frosting it with vanilla cream frosting. Fanny had done a lot of jobs in her day, but baking was definitely her favorite. She was proud of the cake, and carefully hid it in the back of the cupboard to surprise her husband the next day.
“Happy birthday my dear!”
Fanny beamed as Charles came into the room, looking for his breakfast. He looked surprised, and somewhat agitated that there wasn’t his usual breakfast waiting for him. Fanny noticed, but tried not to show it as she pulled out the box from under her apron.
“I got you this!”
She smiled as she set the box down in front of him, and pulled out the cake from the pantry. Charles looked at the cake and the box, then slowly opened it. He seemed both confused and agitated about the box, then he forced a smile.
“Thank you, my dear. I appreciate it. Now, I am going out, and will be back again tonight. Would you mind getting the sheets washed and maybe wash the walls, too?”
Charles rose and kissed her on the cheek, then walked out the door. Fanny stood with her hands on the table, looking out after him. She didn’t know what to do. He treated her like a maid, he acted like she was the maid, and he seemed to even believe that she was the maid.
“Well, let him think what he wants! I am not his maid, and I am not going to be treated like it! I don’t know what I am going to do… maybe Miss Jasmine will take me back into her service.”
Fanny stormed into her room and grabbed her bag, then started shoving her dresses inside.”
Maybe I should keep going west. I hear there is a lot of opportunity out in California. Maybe I should go home, or maybe I’ll go further east and end up in New York.
Her thoughts were coming so quickly she didn’t know which one to go with. All she knew was that she had to get out of here and move to where she was happy. Maybe that lady on the stage was right. Maybe she would be happier when she was on her own. Maybe she just needed another change.
Fanny paused after shoving the lid closed on her bag. She briefly considered stopping, and changing her mind on what she was doing, but when she s
aw the bed that still needed to be made and the walls that still needed to be washed, the determination returned.
The clock on the mantle chirped, and Fanny snapped back to reality. If she hurried, she could make it to town in time for the stage coach.
“That’s it then. I am going home.”
Chapter 8 – What Goes Around Comes Around
Fanny didn’t think of how far it really was to the stage until she was half-way there. Her bag didn’t seem so heavy when she first started out, but now it felt like it weighed one hundred pounds. Fanny felt sweat bead on her forehead, and brushed it away angrily.
She didn’t care if she had wanted so desperately to marry. She didn’t care if Charles came home tonight to find the house empty and the work not done, and she didn’t care if she got into trouble when she got back to Georgia. Miss Jasmine would be married by now, and have more money than she knew what to do with.
Fanny was certain she could convince Miss Jasmine that this was a good idea, though it turned out to be a mistake, and she had to jump on the chance while she could. If she had to, she would tell Miss Jasmine she left as she had to spare her the trouble of saying goodbye so close to her wedding, and it was really for Miss Jasmine that she had gone.
Miss Jasmine is pretty easy to convince of such things. I don’t think this is going to be an issue. I might have to pay her something for breaking the contract, but even that is better than living like this.
“Fanny?”
Fanny jumped at the sound of her own name. She had been so absorbed in her own thoughts that she hadn’t noticed the figure that was walking towards her on the road. Now she stood face to face with her husband, him looking very confused and her looking embarrassed.
At first, Fanny wanted to make excuses, and to tell him this wasn’t want it looked like, but suddenly, something overcame her. She had spent her whole life making excuses to everyone around her, now she was going to stand up for herself. She was leaving anyway, so she didn’t have anything to lose.
[2016] Widow Finds Love Page 45