by B. B. Hamel
She looked up at me. “Sorry. I got a little lost in this.”
“Those are just numbers, you know.”
“But they’re numbers that mean something. They’re important numbers.”
I shrugged. “I guess so.”
She typed something and then shut her laptop lid. “I guess we should get going.”
“Did you get what you wanted?”
She nodded and put her laptop away in her bag. “Yeah, I did.”
“I’m not sure I got what I wanted.”
She stood up and looked at me. “What do you want, Gibson?”
“You know what I want. I keep telling you.”
“I’m not going to strip for you.”
I smirked and stepped closer to her. I could see her eyes run down my body, glancing at the places where my shirt clung to my muscles. “That’s not what I mean.”
“You want to make this more complicated than it needs to be.”
“Maybe, but you’re the one who wants to study me. That’s not exactly simple.”
“Yeah,” she said. “I know.” She looked away.
I stepped forward and took her hair gently, turning her face toward me. Her lips parted and she put her hands on my arms, feeling my hard biceps.
“I don’t know what you’re afraid of, but the worst has already happened.”
“No,” she whispered, “it hasn’t.”
I moved closer to her, my cock hard as hell in my shorts. I needed her, wanted her so badly. Her smell filled my nostrils as my lips moved toward hers.
Just then, the door to the room opened. I stopped, frozen, as a janitor stepped into the room.
He froze when he saw us. “Hey,” he said. “What are you doing in here?”
I let go of Avery and stepped away. “Sorry,” I said. “We were just doing a study. University cleared this.”
“Nobody told me.”
I shrugged. “It was a last-minute thing.”
“Didn’t look like you two were doing a study.”
I lifted up my shirt to show him the heart rate monitor still stuck to my chest. “We were practicing something else,” I said, giving him a grin.
He nodded. “Fine. Just be out of here soon. I have to clean in here before I go.”
“All right. We’re finishing up.”
He gave us one more look before disappearing.
“Shit,” Avery said, letting out a long breath. “Holy shit. I thought we were screwed.”
I laughed. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Give me that thing back. I completely forgot about it.”
I nodded and stripped off the monitor. She stuffed it back into her bag.
“Come on,” she said. “We should go.”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
I gathered my stuff and then followed her to the door. I turned off the equipment and then the lights, and we headed back down the hallway. We pushed through the back door and were outside again, free and clear.
“Guess we’ll have to pick a different time next time,” I said to her.
“There’s a next time? That scared the hell out of me.”
“Don’t worry. There’s always a next time.”
She glanced up at the sky and then sighed. “Good night, Gibson.”
“At least let me walk you back home.”
She shook her head and walked over to a nearby light pole. Her bike was locked to the pole, and she slowly unlocked it. “I have my bike,” she said.
“Still.” I shrugged. “Dangerous neighborhood.”
“Good night, Gibson.”
I grinned at her. “Good night.”
She got on her bike and rode off. I watched her go, and then cursed.
My dick was still fucking hard from that almost-kiss.
That asshole janitor had really cock blocked me in the worst way.
14
Avery
All through Thursday I kept thinking about my time with Gibson. I kept seeing him on that treadmill, the sweat slowly beginning to drip down his chest, his white shirt clinging to his ripped frame. I was so nervous, and that nervous excitement made the whole thing that much more intense.
Plus, I was getting some really good data. I was lucky that the principle investigator at the lab I worked in was such a nice guy. He let me borrow all that equipment, which made it much easier to get some data. I was going to have a killer final project. I had no doubt about that.
Assuming I could keep going through with it. Every time I got close to Gibson, touched his body, listened to his cocky jokes, I had a hard time not throwing myself at him. I was already pregnant with his baby; I just couldn’t imagine that getting more involved with him was a good idea.
But I had almost kissed him anyway. If that janitor hadn’t caught us, I didn’t know what I would have done.
Gibson had thought quick on his feet. I couldn’t believe we didn’t get in trouble for that, but somehow we made it out. Gibson was probably used to getting away with everything, but not me. I shouldn’t be taking such stupid risks, but Gibson seemed to bring out that side of me. It was hard not to want to do something stupid and crazy with him, especially while he was grinning at me and talking dirty the whole time.
I didn’t see him Thursday morning or Thursday after practice. He said he had to cancel the next two days because he was busy preparing for Saturday’s game. I didn’t know what that meant, and I couldn’t help but read too deeply into it. Maybe I was coming on too hard with this whole project thing and he had changed his mind. Maybe he didn’t want the crazy chick he got pregnant coming around to his apartment all the time anymore.
Thursday rolled past, nothing new, nothing special. I got up, went to class, did some studying, and went to bed again. I woke up Friday feeling tired and nervous.
I had Fridays off from class. Still, I got up early anyway and went to the library to get some studying in.
I could barely sit still. I had made a decision to do something really unpleasant, something I really didn’t want to do. If I could have it my way, I’d never go through with it.
But I had to tell my parents what was going on. I had to tell them that I was pregnant, because sooner or later they were going to find out anyway. I might as well get ahead of it and maybe give them enough time to come to grips with the truth before I actually gave birth.
I was nervous all day long. I didn’t know how they’d react. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe they wouldn’t totally freak out. Sure, they wouldn’t be happy, but maybe they wouldn’t try to disown me completely.
Friday afternoon rolled past and I walked home from campus, deciding it was too nice to waste it riding my bike. Truthfully, I was just putting off my unpleasant task.
I got back to my apartment at around five o’clock. My dad would be getting home from work in a half hour.
Harper was sitting on the couch when I got inside.
“Hey,” she said, looking up. “Where have you been?”
“Library,” I answered, dropping my bag on the kitchen table.
“Nerd,” she said, grinning. The Real Housewives of something or other was on TV.
“Rotting your brain?” I sat down next to her.
“Sure am. These women are my role models.”
“Probably not the best role models in the world.”
“Why not? They’re rich, hot, and sassy. Who doesn’t want that?”
“That’s not how I’d describe them,” I answered, laughing.
“I don’t know, Avery. These women have reached the pinnacle of their lives. They married rich men and are now debutantes in the modern fashion. Look as they parade about on television, selling their privacy for a taste of stardom.”
I shook my head, grinning at her. “Nice lecture.”
“Thanks. I’m using that bit for my pop culture class.”
“Oh, so this is research?”
“Sure. Anything can be research if you think about it.”
“I’m not so sure that’s true.”
>
“Take your little project, for example. You get to spend time with a hot guy and feel his body as much as you want, all in the name of science.”
I laughed. “Science can be pretty great.”
“I know, right?”
“It’s a shame that I’m pregnant with his illegitimate child.”
“Yeah. That does put a damper on things. Still, I don’t see why that’s stopping you.”
“Things are complicated enough,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t want to end up like those women.” I nodded at the TV, smiling.
“You wish you could be a Real Housewife,” Harper joked. “That would truly be the pinnacle of your career.”
“I really hope not.”
“What, you think Gibson is going to let you actually work? You’re going to pop that little athletic baby out and he’s going to put you right in the kitchen.”
I laughed. “I doubt that.”
“You just wait and see. Gibson is probably super regressive. Nothing feminist about him.”
“Yeah, I don’t think so. And who knows? Maybe that’s hot.”
She laughed, grinning at me. “Damn, Avery, that’s pretty dirty.”
“What? So I like a man who can take control.”
“Okay, I don’t need to hear about your S&M fantasies.”
“Whatever.” I leaned back and sighed. “Speaking of me being preggers, I’m calling my parents and telling them soon.”
Harper looked surprised. “Really?”
“Really. I want to get ahead of this thing.”
“Good for you. I’m impressed.”
“Why?”
“If I were you, I’d be putting that bad news off as long as possible.”
“Yeah, probably. You’d admit it to them while you were giving birth.”
“Nah. Maybe after the baby was born. But I could always still deny it.”
“Seriously though, I have no idea what they’re going to say. I’m really nervous.”
She put her hand on my leg. “You’re going to be okay. I promise. No matter what they say, you have me.”
I smiled, and for a second I felt better. “Thanks, Harper.”
We sat back and watched the rest of the Real Housewives episode, cracking jokes about their gaudy outfits and their absurdly meaningless and fake fights. It was amazing and fun, and for a second I forgot about my problems.
But five thirty rolled around, and I knew it was time.
“Okay,” I said to her as the show ended, “I’m going to do it.”
“Want me to be here?”
“No. That’s okay. Would you mind letting me have the living room?”
“Not at all. Yell when you’re done.”
“Okay. You’re the best, Harper.”
She stood up. “Don’t I know it.” She gave me a little smile. “Good luck.”
I watched as she disappeared back into her bedroom.
I took a deep breath, pulled out my phone, and stared at it for a second.
A million things ran through my mind. A million different scenarios played out, from worst case to best case. I had no clue which of them was real or likely, but I couldn’t help but imagine them all.
I dialed my home phone number and let it ring.
My mom answered. “Hello?”
“Hi, Mom.”
“Avery, honey, how are you?”
“I’m fine. Actually, can you get Dad on the line too?”
“Uh, sure, honey. Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s good. I just want to tell you guys something.” I had a hard knot in my stomach, but I was just powering through.
“Okay. Hold on a second.”
I heard her put the receiver down and some muffled talking in the background. Dad picked up the phone in the other room. “Hi, Avery,” he said. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m back,” Mom said.
“Everything is good. I just have some news.”
“You didn’t fail out of school, did you?” Dad asked, joking.
“No. Not that,” I said. “Please, try not to freak out.”
“Just tell us,” Mom said. “Now I’m worried.”
“Okay,” I said, taking a deep breath. “Mom, Dad, I’m pregnant.”
There was a pause on the other end.
“Are you joking?” Dad asked finally.
“No, I’m not joking. I didn’t mean for this to happen, but it happened.”
“You’re pregnant?” Mom asked softly.
“Who did this to you?” Dad asked, sounding angry. “Who is this asshole?”
“He’s not important,” I said. “It’s not his fault.”
“Of course it’s his fault,” Dad said. “That piece of shit got my baby girl pregnant.”
“I can’t believe this,” Mom said. “What the hell were you thinking, Avery?”
I frowned. I knew she would react this way, but I didn’t think she’d start out with blaming me so quickly.
“It just happened,” I said.
“Things don’t just happen,” Mom answered. “This is a sinful thing, Avery, a horrible, sinful thing. You’re not married! I can’t believe you’d be so stupid.”
“Maggie,” Dad said.
“No. Avery needs to hear this. God gave us rules, Avery, rules we have to follow. This is one big rule you just decided to break, all because, what? Some boy looked at you?”
I listened silently, not sure what to say. What could I say? In my mom’s mind, what I did was a horrible sin. In her world view, getting pregnant before being married meant I was some kind of terrible sinner or whore. Maybe she wasn’t going to call me a whore, but I could hear it in her voice, in the anger.
“Maybe now isn’t the time to lecture her,” Dad said.
“Avery, dear, I am so deeply disappointed in you.”
“I’m sorry,” I said softly.
“Of course you’re sorry. You’re a sinner now, Avery. You’ve sinned against God and you’ve disappointed your family. I hope He can forgive you, because I don’t know if I can.”
“Maggie,” Dad said more forcefully. “This isn’t the moment for this.”
“I can’t talk to you anymore, Avery.” I heard Mom’s line go dead.
There was silence between Dad and me for a second before he sighed. “I’m sorry about her, Avery,” he said. “This is just very difficult for us to swallow.”
“I know, Dad,” I said. “I know. I expected her to react that way.”
“It’s going to be hard for her. We’ll pray for you, Avery.”
“Okay,” I said, choking back tears. “Thanks.”
“I’ll talk to you later.” He hung up the phone.
I stared down at my hands before tossing my cell aside and leaning back into the couch.
I had expected something like that, but not so harsh. My mother was a religious woman and believed in all that stuff very seriously, but I was still her daughter. I’d never heard her sound so angry and disappointed before, and that hurt far more than I could have guessed.
I didn’t know how long I sat there for. I didn’t cry, but part of me felt like it had shattered. I had been hoping that my parents would be angry but at least supportive, and that they’d realize how difficult this was for me.
Instead, I felt so incredibly alone.
I heard a noise over toward the bedrooms. Harper was standing there, frowning at me.
“You okay?” she asked.
I nodded.
She walked into the room, sat down next to me, and wrapped her arms around me. She held me like that for a few minutes.
“It’ll be okay,” she said. “It was just a shock. They’ll come around.”
“Maybe,” I said.
She pulled back. “I have a surprise for you.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked.
“Stay here.” She got up and walked into her bedroom. She came back a second later, holding something behind her back. “Ready?”
“Ready,” I said.<
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She pulled two tickets out. “Ta-da!”
“Wow. Tickets.”
She laughed. “Tickets to the game tomorrow.”
I perked up a little bit. “I thought those were sold out.”
“They were, but a girl in my short story class was selling them. And since I know you love sports now, I thought you’d want to go.”
I smiled at her and nodded. “Thanks, Harper. You’re amazing.”
“I know.”
She sat down next to me and I laughed. The pain of the phone call was still there, but the loneliness wasn’t. I had my friends, I had Harper, no matter what happened. My parents would have to come around one day.
At least I was going to get to see my baby’s daddy playing football tomorrow.
15
Gibson
The locker room was empty. Cups, clothes, and other crap littered the floor and the benches. People had come and gone, and the space felt all the emptier for it.
I sat there staring at my phone and finally worked up the courage to hit send on the text. I sighed and put my phone back in my bag.
My whole body was fucking sore. Playing a football game was like getting hit by a fucking truck. Every muscle ached, from my pinky finger down to my toes. I had taken a few heavy hits in that first half to top it all off, and I was pretty sure I had bruised ribs.
The taste of grass and dirt came back to me. The crowd’s roars had felt muted, dull, as Hynes pulled me up from the ground.
“You okay?” he called over the din.
“Fine,” I said. Coach was already signaling the next play.
The first half was a wreck. Mountain scored on their first possession, barely squeezing out a field goal after driving down the field. When it was my turn, I managed to get sacked once, hand the ball off for a loss once, and throw a pass that was short of the first down marker.
Coach’s yells at halftime rang in my ears. We were losing ten to seven, and he was pissed. We’d never gone into halftime down to Mountain State before, and coach was embarrassed for all of us.
Especially me. I was playing lousy, throwing weak passes, missing routes, basically looking like I didn’t know what I was doing. He chewed me out so hard that I was just as angry with myself as we left that locker room.