That day something in both Schmidt brothers had died. It might’ve been their hope, it could’ve been their ability to love, or quite possibly it was just the willingness to try. Eric had eventually figured out a way to move on with his life and he was happily married again. Jeff was thrilled for his brother that he’d found happiness a second time; but that didn’t mean that he’d learned to trust. Loving people was a scary endeavor and with all the loss he’d seen over the years Jeff hadn’t wanted anything to do with the emotion outside of what he felt for his siblings.
For a while Jeff had thought their sister; Laurie had felt the same way he did. It’d been hard for him to accept that she was just as weak as their brother was when it came to allowing herself to love. He was still nowhere near ready to accept that the things he was feeling for Dana were anything more than missed opportunities. The fact that it’d been so long since he’d even seen her and yet he wanted her with every breath he took didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t; he wouldn’t let it.
He was in town at the local pharmacy picking up some ointment for an open wound he’d gotten when gouged by a bulls horns at the last rodeo when his feet froze mid-step. Standing just three aisles over with her back facing him he spotted a figure he would never forget even if he lived to be hundred. Her wavy long red hair that he’d loved so much had been cut. It no longer hung down to her waist line; instead it was cut into a short bob that barely brushed her shoulder blades. The shopping cart that she held onto was filled with medications bandages and other such paraphernalia, but that wasn’t what drew his eye. There was a toddler sitting in the front of the cart… A little girl; if he had to wager a guess Jeff would’ve put her at about two years old.
A lump formed in his throat as his feet ate up the distance between them. Standing just behind her, Jeff reached out a shaky hand and settled it on her shoulder. Nerves made his voice sound unlike its normal smooth cadence. “Dana?”
Her body stiffened and she slowly turned around to look him in the eye. He watched as she visibly swallowed the lump in her throat and her fingers whitened as they tightened on the handle of the cart. “Jeff, I’m surprised to see you,” she said nervously.
His eyes went from her to the baby and back in question and Dana shifted awkwardly. “So… Shouldn’t you be off riding some surly bull?” she asked searching for a way to take his attention away from the little girl in the cart.
Jeff shrugged his shoulders and purposefully looked down at the injury on his leg. “You know how it can be; bull got angry that I was trying to ride him and after he bucked me off, he skewered my leg with his one of his horns like a shish kebab. I didn’t like it none, but Doc didn’t give me much of a choice. I have to take a few weeks off so I figured I’d come home and spend a little time with my family. Of course my brother is over the moon that I’m here even though he’s worried as he always is for my safety. My sister is as stubborn as always and makes a point to tell me every time she sees me how much of an idiot she thinks I am. What about you? What brings you to these parts? Dare I hope you’re here to pick things back up with me?” he asked hopefully.
Placing a shaky hand on her face Jeff felt his emotions swell in his chest and his voice became husky with it. “I’ve missed you Dana, why did you leave me?” The raw need and hurt in his voice was impossible to miss and Jeff hated himself for his weakness.
Dana offered him a sad smile and shrugged her shoulders awkwardly. “I had to come home… My sister is the only family I have left other than Alexis here. Believe me I would have stayed far away had I known that this was where you lived. Even now I would leave if I could, but Mandy needs me. She’s dying Jeff; the only thing she wants… The only thing she claims to need is me, here with her until the end.”
“You didn’t answer my other question,” Jeff pointed out quietly, not knowing what to say about her sister other than to spout empty platitudes about how he knew firsthand how unfair life could be when it came to the people you allowed yourself to love. It sucked that a woman would die and leave behind such a young daughter. It made sense to him though, that Dana with her soft heart would drop everything to run when her sister called to take care of a dying woman and her toddler daughter. He wondered what would become of the child once her mother died, but there was no way he was going to ask Dana. This had to be hard enough on her as it was. The last thing she needed was to think about such horrors as a child being left behind when their only parent dies.
“ We had agreed not to allow things to become serious, Jeff,” Dana said shrugging her shoulders sadly. “And yet, we’d been together every week for well over a year; sometimes every day of a given week. I had allowed myself to become attached to you and I just knew. It was time to let you go before I couldn’t do it anymore…”
“You could have at least given me a chance to say goodbye,” he said, his voice cracking as he said the words that had echoed in his head too many times to count since the last time he’d held her in his arms. “It would have been nice if I’d known that last time that it would be the last. Instead, I was left wondering what had happened… what I’d done or said. I never got my closure, Dana; and it’s driven me batty trying to come to terms with it ever since.”
“What do you want me to say, Jeff?” she asked with tears filling her eyes. “The idea of looking you in the eye and telling you goodbye hurt too much. I couldn’t do it. I just didn’t have it in me.”
Alexis started to cry and Dana lifted her up into her arms, snuggling her and loving her sweet baby powder smell as well as the feel of her tiny nose burrowing into the curve of her neck seeking comfort. “I have to go… It’s past time I get back to my sister. Take care of yourself,” she said, looking pointedly at his injured leg.
Not saying another word, Dana spun the cart away from him and pushed it quickly towards the check-out stand. The faster she got away from Jeff the better off she’d be. Seeing him again had been hard for her. She’d meant every word she’d told him. She was just glad he hadn’t pushed her about anything else. She would just consider it a narrow escape and call it good.
The decision made, she paid for the supplies and carried Alexis and her bags out to her sister’s car. With any luck, she wouldn’t run into Jeff again while they were both in the same town. It was a silly thought really. It was a very small town… everyone knew everyone else. The fact that her sister had moved to such a tiny town in the first place had startled Dana; and that had been well over a decade before. It hadn’t occurred to her that since this was also the same town she’d first seen Jeff in that he might live there. She’d figured since he was there with the rodeo, just like every other place she’d followed him to, that he had just been passing through.
When and if she could find a way to fit her question into a conversation with Mandy without managing to stir her sister’s suspicions, Dana had every intention of finding out just how far away the Schmidt family lived… She had to know just how hard she was going to have to work to avoid the rodeo cowboy she’d fallen head over reckless foot in love with.
Chapter 3
Jeff sat at his kitchen table staring at the wall blankly. It had been almost a week since he’d seen Dana in town and it drove him around the bend that he’d wanted to see her so badly he’d actually gone out looking for her. What was even worse was the fact that he had searched the entire town… four or five times over. He’d spent more time in that damn pharmacy hoping for a chance to see her again than he cared to think about.
Still he’d had zero luck in finding her. Eric had come by the day before and he’d commented on Jeff’s unusually sour mood. When Laurie had stopped by that morning, she’d given him Hell about the fact that he’d lost all desire to even try to climb onto the bull that he’d been so eager to buy almost three years before.
He refused to admi t that he’d lost his edge and that the siren-call the rodeo had once sounded, no longer rang in his ears. It hadn’t held the allure it once had. Not since about two months after he’d st
arted seeing Dana on a regular basis. Instead the life his siblings both enjoyed had begun to quietly call to him. He’d tried his hardest to ignore it. When that had been unsuccessful, he’d just refused to allow it to control his actions. He was stronger than his weakwilled heart and rebellious body that longed only for one beautiful woman.
It was difficult to continue to tell himself that sort of thing when sitting in the middle of his home, surrounded by trophies, ribbons and belt buckles he’d won with five angry bulls out in his fields he could be using to try to get his body back in shape for the rodeo; yet the only thing he could seem to think about was the woman who had him tied in knots. He had been like a ship out in the middle of the sea that’d lost its captain…Or a car sitting in the middle of the interstate without a driver; completely pointless and useless.
Now she was back… in his home town, reminding him of how much he’d missed her in the two and a half long years since he’d last held her in his arms, and he couldn’t think past the desire to do so again. But she wasn’t making things easy on him. He had no idea where her sister lived and it was beginning to look like if he didn’t ask, he’d never find out.
He sighed as his brother pulled into the driveway. Eric most likely knew… if he didn’t, Madeline probably did. The two of them made a point to know every person in town and everything about them, even if it was only as a way to protect their children. If he asked Eric about Dana though, Jeff knew that he’d never hear the end of it. His brother’s expectations would be raised and that was the last thing Jeff wanted to have happen. Still, the thought of just sitting around and doing nothing in hopes of getting her back in his bed where she belonged was so overwhelmingly depressing, he could practically taste it.
Eric d idn’t bother knocking before he let himself into Jeff’s house. He slammed the door behind him and walked straight into the kitchen, pulling up a chair beside his brother. “I’m not going to pull any punches little brother. I know something is off with you other than those extra couple of holes in your leg that the bull left behind and I’m not moving one muscle until you tell me what it is.”
“I’d really rather not talk about it,” Jeff said honestly, feeling extremely tired in that moment. “Let’s just say it’s complicated and leave it at that.”
“Well, you’d best make yourself comfortable and start talking,” Eric said, propping his boots up on the table top, knocking a little bit of snow from the bottoms of them onto the oak surface. “Because I meant what I said. I ain’t moving until you spill your guts.”
“Alright… There’s a woman that lives here in town who’s dying,” Jeff said, dragging his hand over his face slowly. “I need to know everything you know about her and her family. Who is she? … Where does she live? … What’s with the kid and where’s her father?”
He had no idea why that baby girl still got to him or why he felt the need to know more about her but he felt it in his gut. Something was up with Dana and the baby girl she’d called Alexis and he was determined to find out what it was.
The look of surprise on his brother’s face was priceless. “You mean Mandy Miller? – She moved here after her divorce was finalized … about nine or ten years back, give or take… she’s the only one I know at death’s door; but she doesn’t have a kid that I know of… Why do you want to know about her? Do you know her? Please, for the love of God, tell me you didn’t accost that poor dying woman at one of your rodeo gigs…”
Jeff paled, turning the color of a man who’d seen a ghost if not become one. “You’re absolutely certain she doesn’t have a daughter? Cute little tyke… about two years old? Beautiful red hair with little ringlets?” All of the sudden he didn’t feel so good as the realization struck him that Alexis might not be Mandy’s daughter… which meant she was Dana’s… and most likely his. It felt as if he’d swallowed a boulder the size of the great state of Texas itself.
Eric shook his head negatively. “That much I’m positive of. Mandy has spent a lot of time at the doctors’ and has become pretty good friends with Madeline. She’s confided in my wife many times about how upset she was over the fact that she’d wanted children more than life itself but had lost the chance to have them after losing her husband. Maddie told me that there was a sister in the picture… I think I remember her mentioning a child a time or two. Could be Mandy’s got a niece.”
“Shit” was the only response that Jeff could manage as he struggled to come to grips with reality. “I need to know where she lives… now.”
“Why?” Eric asked skeptically.
“I’ll tell you later. After I figure it out myself,” he promised standing up, grabbing his Stetson and plopping it on his head before turning to his brother. “The address,” he demanded, not willing to back down now that he suspected that he might be a father. He had to know for sure.
Eric shook his head and told his brother where he could find Mandy. “Just be nice, little brother. Mandy is dying. She shouldn’t have to deal with the likes of a pissed off, moodier than fuck rodeo cowboy with a chip on his shoulder.”
Nodding his head, Jeff ran out the door, hopped into his truck and spun his tires as he stepped on the gas pedal, pushing it all the way to the floor. He was sure, the next time he saw his brother he’d have a lot of explaining to do, but he had to find the answers to those questions out for himself before he said anything. If Dana had given birth to his child, it would change a few things for all of them. It was one thing to donate anonymously to the sperm bank, but to accidentally impregnate a woman he’d been sleeping with for well over a year… a woman he’d come to care about against his own will, that was a whole different matter. Especially when the woman in question was about to lose the only family member she had other than his child.
He’d known there was something about that baby the second he’d seen her, but he hadn’t been willing to admit it, even to himself that something about her pulled at him… drew him to her instinctively.
It was past time he and Dana had a really long talk. If he was a father, he deserved to know about it, and to be given a chance to decide for himself if he wanted to be a part of his little girl’s life. If Alexis was the real reason why Dana had suddenly stopped coming to see him, he knew it was his own fault. He’d spent entirely too much time and effort, making sure Dana was well aware of the fact that he didn’t do commitment and that their relationship wasn’t supposed to ever get serious… even though he was fairly certain they’d both been well aware that emotionally, it had become serious for both of them after the first few times they’d slept together. Possibly before that, even. There was a chance it could have happened that first moment he’d spotted her in the stands for him.
Despite the fact that he’d slept with a fair number of women since Dana, he’d not once been able to get her out of his mind… to stop comparing other women to her in his every encounter. After all of this time and regardless of the fact that she’d left him without a word of explanation, he still wanted her; longed to be with her. Even if she’d had his kid and not bothered to tell him about it. Hell… maybe because she’d had his child and loved the baby enough to know that he was far from father material.
He didn’t care about the reason for his feelings; all he knew or cared about was the fact that they were real and not going away. When he found Dana, he’d insist she got real with him about Alexis and when that was over, he would have her in his bed again where she belonged. It was the only eventuality he was willing to accept.
Chapter 4
Dana had put Alexis down for her nap and sat down on the couch in the all too empty living room at her sister’s house. She sighed as she sipped her cup of coffee. As usual, Mandy was sleeping and the house was entirely too quiet for her liking. Small town life wasn’t something she was used to in the first place, but for the last several days she had stayed in, half afraid if she stepped outside, she might run in to Jeff. The fact that the sexy rodeo rider still got to her was disturbing.
She’d kno
wn the day she’d made the impossible choice not to see him again that it would be the most difficult thing she’d ever had to do; but she’d been well aware of the fact that it was what was best for her daughter. Jeff had told her himself, entirely too many times to count that he was in it for the sexual chemistry they shared alone. Things were never supposed to get serious. She had his damn speech memorized; she’d heard it so many times. She hadn’t meant to fall in love with an emotionally unavailable man… it had just sort of happened without her consent. There hadn’t been a thing she could have done to stop it from happening.
That first time she’d held her daughter in her arms, Dana had known that she’d done the right thing, shutting Jeff out of their lives. He was not the sort of man she wanted as a role model for Alexis. He used his sexual allure to use women physically and then when he got tired of them, he just up and left them hanging… heartbroken and lonely, without a second thought. Jeff used his fame as a rodeo champion to land the women he wanted in his bed. He’d done it to her, but he hadn’t stopped with just her body. He’d taken her heart too, and the scoundrel still had it.
She knew there wasn’t a chance of ever getting it back from him. She’d as good as handed it to him on a silver platter wrapped in solid gold wrapping paper. It belonged to him now, as it had since that first moment she’d seen him sitting atop that angry bull, looking like the conquering hero. It wasn’t something she could do anything about. It hadn’t mattered that Jeff wasn’t a man who had much use for her love. She’d fallen none the less.
Rodeo Daddy: Book 3 in the Stubborn Texas Siblings Trilogy Page 2