“But making up is always so damn good,” he added, feeling the pressure begin to build up as his orgasm threatened to bring him to his knees.
It was impossible to argue with a statement like that when her whole body was literally shaking from the extremity of the pleasure he was giving her. And the intensity in his gaze as he stared into her eyes, refusing to lose the connection was enough to make Dana admit, at least to herself that it was possible to fall even further in love with her rodeo cowboy. “Oh, Jeff,” she sobbed as she toppled over the edge into a bliss so complete, she knew there would be no recovering fully, even once her heart rate returned to normal.
“Mine,” was all he could grunt as he pushed into her one last time, pumping her full of his semen. He knew he probably sounded a bit like a caveman in that moment, but he didn’t care. The entire night before while he’d been trying unsuccessfully to sleep down the hall from Dana, knowing that the only reason she’d locked him out of her bed was because she loved him too much and couldn’t bear to allow him to touch her; he’d lain there thinking. Remembering the way she’d always made him feel. Every time they’d come together, it had seemed like he’d come home.
Then his mind went to that terrifying moment when he’d first realized she wasn’t coming back… The fear and loss that had hit him so hard, he had actually collapsed on the floor of his trailer, unable to breathe for a few minutes. He hadn’t meant to let his heart get attached to her… or to any other woman, for that matter, but it had nonetheless. He hadn’t realized just how deeply involved his heart had gotten until he lay there staring at the ceiling tiles in the guest room… shut out, feeling like he was living on the sidelines with both his daughter and with Dana.
He found that he wasn’t strong enough to handle losing either one of them in the dead of the night and the realization had brought him to tears. It had taken him ages to finally fall asleep, and when he’d woken up, his body had been so damn hard for her, he hadn’t been able to fasten his pants. In order to keep from going to her and breaking her door down so he could take her; possibly against her will, he’d gone into the kitchen; hoping to find something he could cook them for breakfast as an apology.
When she’d come into the kitchen, again, wearing only underwear and his shirt, he’d lost it. Then when she’d said she was sorry and kissed him, he hadn’t been able to get inside of her fast enough. He kissed her brow as his body began to cool down. “I’m sorry too,” he whispered softly. “I never should have issued you any ultimatums…threats or demands. I also shouldn’t have made excuses about moving on once you’d left me. The only thing I have to say for myself is that when you took off without saying a word to me… I was hurt. I never expected to feel that way about a woman when things came to an end, and it scared the dickens out of me.”
He reluctantly released her and helped her down off the counter, stepping away as he turned away from her, running his big hand through his hair. “I became emotionally involved with you against my own will and without my even realizing I’d done it,” he added laughing even though there wasn’t anything the least bit funny about the situation.
Dana sighed and plopped her bare butt down on one of the kitchen chairs. “Now you tell me…” She looked over at him and offered him a tired smile. “Not that it matters. Nothing has changed. You’re still a rodeo champion. As soon as your leg heals, you’ll be back out there. Risking your life for the thrill of the victory you get when you ride out eight seconds on a bull that wants to kill you… Tempted by the women who’ll throw themselves at you, which I can’t do anymore now that I have Alexis.”
She held up a hand to stop him when he opened his mouth to say something. Clearing her throat loudly, she looked down nervously at her hands as she plucked at a loose splinter in the wood of the tabletop. “I’m not saying I won’t put your name on her birth certificate and even agree to let you see her as often as you can find time to do, just so long as you realize I won’t put up with you having other women around when you have Alexis… I will. I realized last night that I can’t allow my feelings for you to get in the way of your relationship with our daughter. But I can’t do it, Jeff. I love you too much. It would break my heart, knowing you were out there on the road… with some stranger wrapped around your body, riding you to completion while I’m pining away for you back here.”
Jeff sucked in a harsh breath and yanked his jeans up. “That sounded an awful lot like an ultimatum…” His words were said slowly and carefully to mask the rage that had begun to build up in his brain. He had just all but poured his heart out to this woman and admitted that he cared for her a great deal more than he’d ever allowed himself to get attached to any other woman, and her response was to threaten him?
“I can’t and I won’t be involved with a man who sleeps around with other women behind my back just because I can’t be there at every stop along the road while he’s out there chasing the next victory in the rodeo arena. I know you, Jeff. Probably better than anyone else on this planet. I know you are a very sexual being. You thrive on the adrenaline rush that you get in that arena and you need the sexual high that comes after it to keep from crashing too hard when your ride is over.”
“I’ll have you know I can stay tru e to one woman if I damn well want to, whether she’s by my side all the time or not,” he said roughly, his back molars grinding together as frustration mounted. She sounded so much like Eric and Laurie when she said stuff like that, it wasn’t even funny. Dana was supposed to be different, damn it. She was supposed to be the one that believed in him.
“Right,” Dana said, laughing as she grabbed her underwear and yanked them back on over her long legs, wishing she’d bothered to grab pants… or at least a damn robe to cover up with. She felt so vulnerable to him right then, she needed the extra added advantage that clothing offered her as far as hiding went. “How long have you gone, staying true to one woman, Jeff?”
“You know damn good and well I wasn’t with any other woman the whole damn year we were sleeping together,” he answered nastily.
“Yes… but I was always there, wasn’t I? How about when the woman you’re involved with isn’t around, Jeff? How long did you wait after you realized I wasn’t there that day, before you sought out another warm willing body? An hour? Two?”
“Damn it, Dana… it took me a pathetic seven stops before I realized you weren’t coming back,” he answered honestly. “Then I was so damn burdened by the pain in my chest, I couldn’t even move. I missed my ride entirely that day… scored a zero for the competition that could have meant I’d be in the running for the big money prize I’d been after for a God Damn year. After that? I’d say it took me three more stops before I had it in me to take a willing woman up on her offer to take her to bed. I didn’t go LOOKING at all. I felt NUMB and needed to feel something. ANYTHING.”
Her eyes grew large as guilt swamped her. By the time she’d taken off, he’d only been having one competition a week… that meant he’d waited for almost two full months before he’d even admitted she wasn’t coming back? And another couple weeks after that before caving in to the need to climb into another woman’s bed… She felt about three inches tall, having assumed the absolute worse of him the way she had.
Since she had been almost two months pregnant before she’d stopped coming to see him, that meant she’d been well into her second trimester before he’d slept with another woman. Her eyes frantically searched his for the truth and when she found it there in his eyes, she sobbed and ran back into his arms, hugging him tightly.
“Oh, Jeff….” It was a sad pathetic thing to say, but her mind was going so many different directions at once, she couldn’t settle on any single comment to say. She’d been so wrong about so many things when she’d assumed he’d want nothing to do with their child… that he’d be a terrible father… that he didn’t really care about her and never would. All of it put together was enough to make her blubber like a baby.
He rested his chin on to
p of her head and wrapped his arms loosely around her body. “Does this mean you finally believe me?” he asked feeling as if he’d lived a year in the last few minutes.
“Yes… and I’m so incredibly sorry. I made so many mistakes. I don’t know how you’ll ever forgive me…” Jeff smiled and nuzzled the side of her head, moving one of his hands down her body to cup her butt again. “I can think of a few ways you could convince me,” he answered naughtily.
Dana laughed and playfully smacked him on the chest. “You have a one track mind,” she accused, loving him that much more.
“Only where you’re concerned, my dear… only with you.”
Chapter 12
Nearly a month had gone by before Mandy was sent back home. By then, Dana had grown accustomed to having Jeff there at the house with her. The idea of him leaving so that her sister didn’t feel uncomfortable was too painful to even contemplate. Tears streamed down her face as she watched him limp outside and climb into the cab of his truck. He reached over and rolled the window down, looking at her with smoldering eyes.
“Are you sure I can’t sweet talk you into coming back to the ranch with me? I’ve got loads of room… I could easily transform one of the many rooms into a nursery for Alexis, and my bed is huge. I assure you, there’s plenty of room in it for both of us.”
Dana sadly shook her head. “No. Mandy needs me. Besides… you’ve only got another week before your doctor said you can go back to work. I’d hate to disrupt Alexis’ life and routine yet again, just to have you leave us both hanging in seven days’ time. It’s better for both of us if we stay here with Mandy. It’s bad enough I let my emotions get even more tangled up in you,” she said softly, blushing deeply when she realized what she’d just admitted to him.
Jeff sadly nodded his head and pulled the truck slowly out of the driveway, careful not to get the tires stuck in the mountain of snow that had covered the driveway since he’d last moved the vehicle. He was glad that he had a few hands that worked the land and the couple of bulls that he owned. With this cold snap they were having, if he hadn’t done that, the entire set up would have been lost. He wondered briefly what had ever become of the two horses his parents had left behind. They’d been as much a part of the ranch he now called his own, growing up as the rest of his family had.
When he’d suddenly found himself alone in the world after his father died, he’d gotten emotional and let both of the horses out of their pens. Last he’d seen them, they’d still been aimlessly wandering the acres and acres of Schmidt land. He wondered where they’d found shelter from the storm and made a silent vow to his parents that as soon as he got back to the ranch, he’d find them. It would be a good way to get his mind off the fact that he was walking away from his daughter and the woman he’d somehow managed to fall head over clumsy foot in love with.
He found the horses drinking out of the old creek that ran through his property about five hours later. They looked great, seeing how no one had fed them for ages. For two horses that’d been living off the land, they’d done alright for themselves. Guilt over what they must have endured swamped him as he walked over to the horse that had been his fathers and slipped a bit into its mouth. “Woe boy… good boy, Hercules… you remember me, don’t you boy? I see you’ve taken good care of Moonbeam,” he said lovingly stroking the long snout of the mare that neighed and then nudged his arm, looking for attention. Moonbeam had been his mother’s pride and joy.
“Let’s get the two of you back to the stables where you’ll have some warmth as well as fresh hay. Sound good?” he said conversationally, slipping a second bit into
Moonbeam’s mouth and then attaching a lead rope to both horses before turning around and walking back to the truck he’d driven there in. He couldn’t very well expect a couple of horses who’d had no contact with the human race in forever to calmly walk behind a running vehicle, so he grabbed his winter coat out of the truck along with his keys and then mounted Hercules bareback. He rode all out towards the barn, holding onto Moonbeam’s lead rope the whole way.
He could just imagine the look on Dana’s face when he did manage to talk her into coming over to the ranch. He’d proudly present her with his mother’s horse and tell her that as long as she’d be willing to stick it out there at his house, she could consider Moonbeam hers to ride. He was willing to offer Dana any number of incentives to stay with him now that he’d fallen for her. Knowing she was at the ranch waiting for him when he was on the road would give him a good reason to come home more often.
For Dana’s sake, he’d even willin gly cut back on how many gigs he accepted. From here on out, he wanted to be with Dana and Alexis as often as possible. It wouldn’t hurt anything if he cut back to one competition every other week… or maybe only once a month. With any luck, he could convince Eric or Laurie to watch Alexis for them so Dana could go with him. That should help alleviate her fear of him hooking up with other women when he was working.
He had to show her that he was serious about her. It was the only thing he could come up with, without compromising himself any further than he already had by falling for her in the first place. Being in love with a woman made him vulnerable. If anything ever happened to her, he’d lose it completely.
When he got back to the barn, he rubbed both horses down, threw a blanket over their backs and removed the bits. Locking the barn door so they would stay put for the night, Jeff walked outside. It was so cold; his breath came out in hot bursts that he could see with every exhale. He looked down at the ground and lifted his hand to his hat, blowing out a slow breath. He still didn’t have a shirt on and the cold air bit into his bare chest, reminding him of the stupidity of not bothering to get fully dressed before he’d left Mandy’s house.
He hadn’t had the heart to take his shirt from Dana, when she looked so much better in it than he did. When she’d told him that the reason she was always wearing it was because it smelled like him and it made her feel closer to him, he’d been unable to bring himself to ask her to give it back to him.
The edges of his jacket brushed over his hardened nipples and he shivered, making a run for the house. It was time to pull his head out of his ass. Damn Eric for being right about that… it was beyond time he grew up and acted like the man his parents had wanted him to be. They would have been so disappointed in the man he’d become.
The last month he’d spent with Dana he’d come to realize how much time he’d wasted, chasing the next ultimate thrill. When it came to danger, nothing but nothing was more dangerous to a Schmidt than caving in to true love. Nothing would give him quite the thrill that Dana gave him every time he saw her naked. No one and nothing else could make his heart swell with love and devotion the way Alexis and her mother did either. All this time, he’d been out there, seeking the ultimate adventure … the one that would provide him with the biggest, most thrilling adrenaline kick of all time, and the one thing that gave it to him was the only thing he hadn’t been willing to entertain participating in.
Being the reigning champion, Jeff knew he had no choice but to go back to the rodeo and defend his title … until he lost it or became old enough to officially retire from the rodeo. But once he could do one of those things, he would surprise Dana with a ring and beg her on bended knee to be his wife. They could settle down on his ranch and he could become a trainer… or maybe a breeder. He’d find something else he could use his skills to do. All that really mattered was becoming a real family with Dana and Alexis.
Chapter 13
Mandy sat on the couch watching Dana trying to coax Alexis to play in the middle of the floor at her feet. Alexis was having none of it. Tears poured down her tiny face and she made fists with both hands as she pounded them against her legs in frustration as she repeated one word over and over, breaking Dana’s heart. “Daddy”… it rang out and echoed off the walls of the living room and Dana wanted to cry with her daughter. She missed Jeff just as much as Alexis did.
“As much as I wanted you
here, I think it might be for the best if you went back home,” Mandy said, looking from Alexis to Dana. “For both your sakes. That man is breaking your hearts… both of them. The more time you spend with him, the worse it’s going to get Dana. We both know that man is never going to settle down. You knew it when you slept with him the first time. Nothing’s changed. He’s bored because he’s temporarily laid up from his injury and he’s feeling guilty about having knocked you up, but if you’ve managed to fool yourself into believing he cares about you, you’re an idiot.”
Dana looked up at Mandy with tearfilled eyes. “Don’t you think I KNOW that?” she sadly wiggled Alexis’ favorite teddy bear in front of her and winced when her daughter batted it away angrily before wailing at the top of her lungs. “I can’t help it, Mandy… I love the man… and so does Alexis. I can’t very well take her away from him. Not when he’s gone so far out of his way to be a good Daddy to her.”
“And he’s going to break her little heart into a million tiny little pieces if you let her get too used to having him around much longer,” Mandy said patiently. “Look at her… she’s already inconsolable and he’s still in town. Imagine how much worse it’s going to be when he’s back on the road with the rodeo. Remember… I live here. The man’s only home maybe a week or two every four months… if that. Last time he was home before he got laid up was almost six months ago. If he hadn’t been hurt, he had gigs lined up for another five months straight. It could have easily been a full year between stops home… and he’s got a family here that one would think would make him want to come back for… but he hasn’t. His sister was pregnant, Dana… and Jeff was too busy seeking the next belt buckle to be bothered to come home and check on her. What does that say to you? Do you honestly believe things are going to be any different with you....? A woman he hooked up with at one of his events and just so happened to get pregnant?”
Rodeo Daddy: Book 3 in the Stubborn Texas Siblings Trilogy Page 7