by Osar Adeyemi
Yemi was not surprised that he had caught on. "I'm sure people won't want to see my morose-looking face on that day. That's a real party dampener any day."
"Last time I checked, that face was still as beautiful as ever. I know you've been through a lot, but maybe a party with familiar faces is what you need right now."
"There'll be just too many familiar faces, and I don't want to face their pitying looks."
"Why would anyone pity you? Some of our mates are not even married yet."
"Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't gotten married at all." She tried hard not to have a victim mentality, but with Sesan, she had always been able to express her innermost feelings.
"There is nothing impossible to fix, Yemi. I've told you this before. God can do all things."
"There are too many things that need fixing around me. My heart, my broken trust, and oh, I forgot," she snorted sarcastically, "my relationship with my in-laws. Not that I want that fixed anyway. I hate them as much as they hate me."
Her parents had tried to talk with her and Akeem, and had even contacted Akeem's mother to see if they could resolve the issues between them. Akeem's mother told her parents that she had no idea that Yemi and Akeem were having problems and that she felt disrespected that Yemi had moved out of Akeem's house without telling her. Mrs. Kadiri had made no further attempt to contact her parents since then, and neither did any other member of Akeem's family.
"There's nothing impossible for God to fix," Sesan reiterated. "I'm almost at your office. I've been driving as we've been talking. Can you pack up your things and start coming down, please?"
"You didn't have to bother," Yemi protested.
"Start coming down, please. It's time for you to go home, anyway."
Yemi packed up her things and checked to make sure that all the appliances were switched off before making her way downstairs. Sesan was pulling into the now-empty car park outside her office when she got downstairs.
"Hey, thanks for coming," she said as he got out of his car.
"No worries." He frowned slightly as he looked around. "This place looks pretty empty. I'm sure you're the only one left in the building."
Yemi glanced back at the building; it really did seem quiet. "Probably, but that eatery across the road closes quite late, and there are always people around because of it."
"But you're the only one left in your building."
"Don't be such a worrywart!" Yemi teased.
Sesan was not amused. "If you need to stay behind, you've got to make sure that there is another member of staff, preferably male, staying back with you."
"I'll do so in the future," Yemi said. Sesan looked at her face; he was not convinced. "Honestly, Sesan, you can take my word for it."
"Okay then, let's go."
Yemi backed her car out of the parking lot with Sesan driving behind her. As she drove through the streets, she was amazed at how free the roads could be at night. These same roads were better avoided during the day.
Sesan stayed at her house for a short while before he left. She knew that he had only come to make sure that she left the office. She appreciated her friends at this period in her life. It would have been awful if she had no one to look out for her.
As she lay in bed later that night, her mind went over the past two and half months since she had moved out of Akeem's home. Work had been her solace. It was like a form of therapy. She took all orders, met crazy deadlines, designed, and worked on catalogs whenever she was free. She also stayed late at work most evenings and would get home exhausted. It made the days pass by quicker, and she had less time to brood.
She had initially thought that she would feel better once she was out of close proximity to Akeem, but those feelings had been short lived. She had begun to struggle with a different kind of emotion that weighed her down. It had started subtly anytime she saw happily married couples, but it had gradually become an all-encompassing feeling. She felt like a failure—someone who could not keep her home or her man. No matter how much she tried to shake the feeling, it clung to her until she started trying to isolate herself from people and also avoided social gatherings.
During that period, she had also had to deal with Aleena's many tantrums. Aleena neither liked the fact that she lived away from her dad nor did she appear willing to adjust. Yemi actually felt that Aleena would have chosen to stay with Akeem over her if she'd had any say in the matter.
"Am I going to have a brother or sister soon, Mummy?" she had asked Yemi a couple of weeks back as Yemi tucked her into bed at night. "Everyone's got a little brother or sister."
"Not everyone, dear."
"Eniola has a brother and sister," Aleena persisted. "Chloe also has a brother and a sister," she said, referring to her best friend at Dartmouth. "I want a little sister. Do you think I'll have one someday?"
"I don't know, Aleena. But I'm sure that your daddy will have more children someday."
"But don't you want another baby?" Aleena asked as she looked at her almost accusingly.
Yemi tried to keep her face expressionless, but Aleena's words were getting to her. "I'd love to. Someday, I'll explain it all to you, but you need to go to sleep now, Alee." She stood up and took the last storybook she had read from the night before out of the bookshelf. "Which story do you want me to read to you?"
Aleena had looked at her mutinously. "Any story you like," she said, pouting and looking away.
Yemi had sighed inwardly. I'm not the bad person here, Alee, she thought to herself. Your dad is the cause of all the problems.
She read the story and then sat there, looking at her sleeping daughter's face. She wished she could make her understand her position, but how could she tell a four-year-old that she refused to stay on with a man she didn't trust anymore, just so that she could pretend at marriage?
∞∞∞
"This can't be correct." Yemi murmured to herself as she stared at her bank balance online a couple of weeks later. She had made out cheques for some expenses she had incurred over the past month and was expecting it to be less. She checked again and saw that Akeem must have forgotten to stop paying her an allowance. Well, now that she knew, she was going to alert him. No one was going to accuse her of scrounging off him.
She wrote out a cheque to cover the amount he had paid into her bank account, enclosed a short note telling him what it was for, and sent it through Kufre to him that Friday when his driver came to pick Aleena up.
Aleena still spent her weekends with him, apart from the weekends when he was out of town. She had thought he would decline having her over at some weekends, but he stuck faithfully to the routine. Aleena told her that he took her and Kufre to Nadia's or his mother's place for a few hours when he had to go out, but he obviously preferred to do that rather than leave Aleena with Yemi. She felt he was trying to make sure that she didn't steal his daughter's affections from him. As if that was even possible; Aleena was her daddy's girl all the way.
"I'm going to marry Daddy when I'm a big girl." she had told Yemi recently. "Then Daddy won't be alone anymore."
Yemi had refrained from saying anything. She knew that Akeem was dating a Nollywood actress, so he was definitely not alone. She had seen pictures of them together in a magazine, and Sara had confirmed the relationship. The magazine had put a wedding picture of Akeem and Yemi as an inset and mentioned that their marriage had obviously hit the rocks, but thankfully there was nothing more on them.
Not that she cared about him dating the actress. He could marry her for all Yemi cared. She was also welcome to his family. A nice package deal. Maybe she would fare better than Yemi had done.
The next day, Yemi decided not to go to work. The last two weeks had been hectic, and she wanted to give her body a break. She groaned when she woke up at about the same time she normally did. She willed herself to go back to sleep but gave up about an hour later.
There were some designs that had been dancing around in her head, and she brought out her not
epad and began to sketch them down.
Those designs would look great on Kelly, she thought to herself as she surveyed them later. She was still Kelly's main designer, even though Kelly now lived in Abuja after winning the senatorial elections. Yemi had an arrangement with her and some other clients to make clothes she thought would suit them. She knew their preferences on styles, colours, and fabrics, and she rarely had any of those outfits sent back to her with a complaint.
She spent the morning leisurely and was in the middle of watching a comedy on TV when Sesan called and invited her to the beach with him and Amanda, Teju's daughter. Teju was on a weekend away with her husband and had left Amanda with Sesan.
"Hmmm, I won't say no, but let me see if Aleena can come along with us," she told Sesan.
She called Akeem. They rarely communicated except for when they needed to exchange information about Aleena. And even then, they kept it very brief. He appeared to be just as keen to keep away from her as much as she was to keep away from him.
His phone rang for a while before he picked it up. "Yemi?" he said upon connecting the call.
Yemi got straight to the point too and told him the reason for the call.
"I've got other plans, so I'm afraid that's not possible," Akeem said.
"Oh, all right then. I just thought that it would give you a break."
"Is that all, or is there something else you wanted?" he asked abruptly.
Okay, don't bite my neck off. She answered in the negative. He hung up after a curt "Bye then."
Someone's in a bad mood, she thought to herself. The actress lady needed to step up her game. He was never this grouchy when they were together, well, up until she discovered what a cheat he was.
She had a good time at the beach with Sesan and Amanda and got home pleasantly tired.
The next evening, Kufre handed her an envelope from Akeem when his driver brought them back. Inside the envelope were the ripped pieces of the cheque she had sent to him.
∞∞∞
Over the next couple of months, there was a lull in the amount of orders she had coming in. She didn't like it. It left her with too much time on her hands. And it didn't suit her pockets either. Akeem had rented her office in a highbrow area. She still had some time to go before the rent ran out, but she needed a steady source of income if she was going to be able to maintain the place.
She knew the lull was normal. Even the greats like Sharon Braithwaite had moments like this, but it made her realise that she had to think of ways of increasing her clientele base in order to keep such periods to their barest minimum.
The lull continued for a while. Business would pick up a little, and fresh orders would come in, but then it would dip even lower than before. So she was excited when she got a call from Sharon. She was taking part in the upcoming Nigerian fashion week and wanted Yemi to help her with some designs.
"I know I'm asking a lot. I mean, you've got your own outfit to look after, but I wonder if you can create some designs for me. Of course, I'd expect to pay for the designs."
"Let's leave the payment bit out for now," Yemi replied.
As tempting as it was to charge for the designs, she still didn't intend to take any payment. Goodwill from someone like Sharon Braithwaite, along with the considerable influence she commanded in the fashion world, had no price tag. She smiled ruefully at her thoughts. She had not been married to a businessman like Akeem for nothing after all. Having friends in the right places was equally as important as making money.
Yemi attended the fashion week every day that it was on. It was an opportunity to see what the already-established names in the fashion world were doing, and she could measure her talent against theirs. Someday, my name will be up there with the greats, she thought to herself. She just had to work a little bit harder.
She was very excited on the day that House of Tetra presented. Sharon had almost outdone herself this time. The ovation was outstanding. Yemi felt herself holding her breath by the time the first model wearing the line she had designed for Sharon came out, but her fears were unfounded. The applause was heartwarming. Sharon had secured a front seat for her, so she had a clear view of the celebrities who attended the event and felt like doing a little jig when she saw a good number of them jotting down on their notepads as her designs came out.
The reviews in the papers the following days were very favorable. Of course, the credit was all going to House of Tetra, but she still felt like dancing with excitement when she read a popular fashion columnist particularly compliment the Swida, a kind of African print, collection which she had designed. She read it to herself over and over again and then cut out the clip from the newspaper.
So it was a very happy Yemi who got dressed up for the gala on the last night, which was also to be the climax of fashion week. The doorbell rang at 6 p.m., and she knew that it had to be Sesan. She had asked him to accompany her to the event.
"Wow!" Sesan exclaimed when he saw her. "You look so beautiful!"
She was pleased with his compliment. There was going to be a heavy media presence, and she wanted to appear good in the pictures.
The venue was well lit and glamorous, and several people were already seated when they arrived. She took pictures on the red carpet with Sharon and was later introduced to a few other big names in the industry.
"Ah, Sharon's protégé!" Ellen, another popular fashion designer exclaimed, as she air-kissed Yemi. "I was impressed with the designs you did for her collection about a year ago, but I was told then that you were not interested in anything commercial." She smiled as she handed Yemi her business card. "Let's talk sometime."
It was a very glamorous affair. There was good music, lots to eat and drink, and plenty of entertainment by different artists. It was a good ending to a hectic week, and Yemi enjoyed every bit of it.
"Wow, that was a lovely night," she sighed happily when she got back into Sesan's car at the end of the evening. "Thanks for accompanying me."
"You're welcome. It was nice to rub shoulders with you celebrities."
"Celebrities?" Yemi laughed. "I hope you remember who you're with?"
"I appreciate your modesty, but I saw how impressed some of those designers were when Sharon told them what line you designed for her."
"They're still the biggies, though!" She felt happier and more relaxed than she had been in a long time. "So what's been going on with you?" she asked as he merged onto the motorway. "Are we hearing wedding bells anytime soon?"
"Why do you keep asking that question?" he teased. "But not to worry, it's going to happen soon."
"Cool, do I know the lucky lady?"
"What lady?"
"Sesan, you really have to get serious! Maybe I should start looking for one for you myself," she turned slightly in her seat towards him. "So tell me, what specs are looking out for?"
He grimaced. "You make it sound like we're about to purchase a car. But okay, let me see, she has to be tall, pretty, slim, honey-brown complexioned with a single dimple on the right cheek, an accountant turned celebrity fashion designer…." Sesan started laughing when the realization that he was describing her finally dawned on Yemi. He ducked when she playfully tried to smack him.
"You're such a naughty boy!" Yemi scolded with a mock frown. "And here I was getting all excited about pitching in on the search for the future Mrs. Williams. But by the way, what happened to that girl you told me about when we had just finished university?"
"The one who made me run off to England?"
Yemi's eyes widened. "Was she behind that as well?"
He smiled ruefully. "Yeah, but she's married now, so that chapter is firmly closed. But don't worry about me. God makes all things beautiful in His time."
"Hmmm, sounds nice. I guess that's from the Bible?"
"Yep."
"You must have read the whole Bible through and through by now," Yemi remarked thoughtfully. "How do you do that?"
"I guess it's out of interest. When you have a close
friend, you try to learn as much as you can about them so that you can relate with them better. It's the same with God. The more I know Him, the more I study His word and the hungrier I get to know more about Him."
"You make Him sound so close."
"That's because He is. And knowing that He's with me gives me the confidence to go forward in life because I know that He's got my back."
"Interesting, but a lot of bad things do happen on His watch, though."
"Are those things really on His watch?" Sesan asked. "Most people make their decisions without consulting Him and then arrogantly expect Him to back them up. God does not go barging where He's not been invited."
"So are you saying that bad things never happen to Christians?"
"Christians have trials too, but He is with them all the way through them, and they come out better people if they hold on to Him. There is a place in the Bible where God said that He will be with us when we go through fire and floods, signifying troubled times, but that we will not be drowned or burnt."
"I sure have been through fires and floods, with no comfort in sight either," Yemi replied drily. "Maybe God has forgotten all about me."
"Why don't you just surrender to Him and let Him deal with the issues for you?" Sesan said quietly. "You need to release yourself over to Him."
"Hey, Sesan, I've always tried to be a good person, but what do I get from it? Heartbreak!" She bit on her lower lip. "The other day, Tianna came to my office…you remember Tianna, don't you? The girl who used to live down the road from me?" Sesan nodded, and she continued. "She was so boy crazy back then and already had quite a reputation by the time she was sixteen. Well, she came to my office two weeks ago to place an order. She was in the company of her husband and two kids, and her husband was all over her. How do you explain that? I didn't get into a fraction of her escapades, and yet my marriage crashed after just a few years."
"Yemi, being born again is not about how good you are. In fact, we dare not come into His presence with our own righteousness because we cannot measure up to His righteousness at all. We come by way of mercy, grace, and by the blood of Christ. I can't judge Tianna; that's left for God to do. But I'm concerned about you."