by Osar Adeyemi
"I'm really sorry, Akeem," she had said, going to him when she first saw him. His Giorgio Armani sunglasses were constantly on his face, whether indoors or outdoors. Her heart filled with compassion at what he must be going through. She knew how close they had been.
"He is…was your friend too," he replied quietly. "Still spoke of you yesterday."
She had choked up then. The lump in her throat was too painful. "Can't believe he's gone," she said as a tear drifted down her cheek. Another one followed in quick succession.
"I can't either," he replied, taking her hand in his and squeezing it gently. They talked for a few more minutes, and then he had to go and attend to other things.
The funeral was held a week later. Fayona's short eulogy to her husband moved anyone who was still dry-eyed to tears.
"I can't say good-bye because there are no good-byes between soulmates," she said, staring at his coffin. "But I know where you are, and honey, someday we'll be together again…"
Her eyes had been dry, as if she was too spent to cry anymore. But that had changed when she got back home. It was as if it just dawned on her afresh that her husband was really gone. She became almost hysterical and had to be sedated again.
Yemi left after Fayona fell asleep. She planned to go back the next day. Fayona's younger sister and cousins were going to be staying with her for some time. The plan was for her to travel with her kids to England when the schools broke up in a couple of weeks.
She kept thinking of Akeem when she got home. Her eyes had kept darting to his face during the funeral. His eyes were still hidden behind his Giorgio Armani sunglasses, but his face had been grim all through. She debated within herself a little bit but shrugged off her hesitation and decided to call him later that evening.
"Are you okay?" she asked him when he picked the call.
"Not really, but trying to be," he admitted. "What about you?"
"Trying to be too."
She would have wanted to go over to his place, at least for that day. There was something about losing someone dear that made everyone that knew the person want to bunch up together and just talk about him and the times they had all shared together, but she was too wary about bumping into Lois. Aleena had told her a few weeks earlier that "Aunt Lois" no longer came to her daddy's house, but she had not known if the little girl was right or not. She had seen Lois from afar at the funeral, and she and Akeem had still acted pretty close.
"Is…is someone with you?" she asked warily.
"Sara and Fadel are here, and some other friends too," he replied. He paused for a moment. "You want to come over?"
She was almost tempted to answer in the affirmative, but she felt Lois would likely be there too. That would make the place crowded as far as she was concerned.
"Um, I was thinking of it, but you've got people with you already."
He didn't say anything, and they were both silent for a long moment.
"Okay, then, Akeem. Take care," she said.
"Thanks." His voice was quiet. "Take care, Yemi."
∞∞∞
"Ready to go?" Shona asked Tanya.
Akeem glanced at Shona. It had been over a week since Hasan's burial, but her eyes were still reddened and puffy. He had just been to Fayona's a little while earlier that day, and she was pretty much the same.
"I am," Tanya responded.
"Akeem said he will drop you off at home," Shona told her.
Tanya hesitated. "I can just catch a taxi. I don't want to be in the way."
"You're not in the way," Akeem assured her.
"Thanks," Tanya said, still looking like she would have preferred to decline. She said good-bye to Justin and Shona before walking with him to his car. He opened the door for her.
"Thank you," she said, as she did up her belt. "I'm really sorry about your friend," she told him quietly.
"Thanks." He had seen her during the funeral from a distance. He had been surprised to see Yemi chatting with her. Shona had explained to him that Yemi and Tanya attended the same church.
He drove in silence for a few minutes. "I didn't really get what the pastor was talking about during the service of songs," he said abruptly.
Tanya turned slightly in her seat. "I don't understand."
He stared straight ahead. "The pastor's message. He said for people not to be sad because Hasan has gone to a better place." His voice was tight as he recollected how annoying the pastor's words had been to him then. "That's pure balderdash if I ever heard any."
Tanya was quiet for a long time. "I know it may sound like that, but anyone who dies as a Christian really does go to a better place."
"Why can't you all face up to the obvious fact that God, if he exists, failed Hasan by letting him die like that? Why be hypocritical about it?"
"God never fails," she said quietly. "I don't claim to know all the answers or even to begin to understand it, but God never fails."
He snorted derisively. "This sure looks like failure to me. Hasan believed in God. He should have protected him."
"The two most accurate witnesses in any situation is the person involved and, of course, God who knows all things. It's a pity that we may not be able to get what really happened in this case, but Hasan really has gone to a better place, albeit a little early."
"I know my friend had great plans for life. He wasn't planning to go to a better place any time soon."
Tanya's voice was quiet. "Shona told me that he had actually rescheduled his flight but changed his mind at the last minute."
"Good excuse. So you mean there was no other way he could have known that he was not meant to get on that plane?" He inhaled deeply, trying to calm down. "In fact, the plane could have been prevented from crashing altogether!"
He stopped at a traffic light. He was sorry he was taking it out on her, but he was angry, and the pastor's message had been like adding salt to the festering sore in his heart over the loss of his friend.
"But do we also blame God for human error?" she asked gently. "I know the official report about the cause of the plane crash is not yet out, but we may well find out that the crash was due to that. Some people may have simply failed to do their jobs."
He moved again when the lights changed. A few minutes later, he turned off the main road onto the street where she lived.
"And who knows, God may have tried to use you to get Hasan off that flight," she said.
"I didn't get on that flight because I had a rescheduled meeting. There was nothing supernatural about it."
"There are some things we may just never understand on this side of life." She paused for a moment and glanced at him. "But the state in which a man dies is what's important. Everyone close to Hasan testifies to the fact that he had a healthy relationship with God. Such a person would have been at peace right to the very end."
"I'm afraid I don't see it that way." The anger had drained out of him, and he felt weary. "But I'm sorry for taking it out on you."
"That's okay. I understand," she replied quietly.
∞∞∞
Akeem felt better after his shower. He knew he needed to eat something, but he did not feel like it. Bassey was away in France on a catering course. He had discussed his plans to open a restaurant in the near future, and Akeem fully supported the idea. Bassey had been a faithful employee for many years, and even though Akeem knew he would have to look for a new cook soon, he had been happy to sponsor the course.
He poured himself a drink and turned on the TV. He hoped the drink coupled with his tired body would be able to lull him to sleep.
He settled on CNN and tried to listen to the newscaster, but Tanya's words kept flitting through his mind. She always sounded so sure of her beliefs. He knew he had been bullish with her, but he had been irked by what Hasan's pastor had preached during the service of songs. To him, there was nothing remotely joyful about his friend's death. And he resented anyone calling it anything other than the tragedy that it was.
He took another sip
of his drink as Tanya's words about Hasan being at peace to the end came back to him. That had struck a chord. From the conversation they had that last afternoon at the hotel, he was almost certain that Hasan would not have been afraid of death. He wondered how he would have felt had he been on that flight. Fear was not an emotion he entertained, but would he have succumbed to it then? Would he have wondered if there really was anything to a life after death, as people like Tanya claimed? And if there was really a God, would he have been ready to meet with him?
Fayona talked about Hasan like she would see him again someday. Oh, she wept for long periods when the pain of his departure became too unbearable, but she was still strong even in the midst of her pain. She had even found the strength to encourage him. Akeem felt he should be the one encouraging her, but he had nothing to offer other than financial help, and Fayona would not need that anyway.
He took another sip of his brandy. Hasan's death had made him begin to wonder what life was all about. Moreover, he had to admit that there was really something different about his friends since they started all their religious stuff, a kind of inner serenity that puzzled him. Something he lacked. He had money, connections, and privileges that many men would envy, but he also had an emptiness inside him that no amount of success had been able to fill.
He stared broodingly into space. "If you are real as they say, then show yourself to me," he muttered.
He looked around as if he expected to see something, but came to himself and laughed out loud. What was he thinking? Losing his friend must be affecting his reasoning. He took another sip of his brandy and concentrated on the news.
∞∞∞
"Mummy, Daddy is…" Aleena brought her voice down to a whisper, as if she did not want to be overheard. "Daddy is very sad," she told Yemi over the phone. "Aunt Kufre said he didn't eat any dinner, just keeps drinking coffee. He is missing Uncle Hasan."
"I know…" Yemi sighed. She was missing him too. It was all still so unreal.
Aleena was on holidays and was with Akeem. Yemi knew he had taken some time off work and had sent Aleena over to stay with him. She felt that Aleena would create a welcome distraction for him, but Aleena was meant to be returning back to her place that day.
"You know what? I'm going to come over there to see you both today," Yemi said, making up her mind on the spur of the moment. She would also tell Akeem that Aleena could stay with him a little longer.
"Yay! I'm going to tell Aunt Kufre!" Aleena squealed. "But Mummy," she said, hushing her voice again, "don't tell Daddy that I told you that he's sad."
"Of course not, baby. I won't, and don't tell your dad I'm coming over either."
Aleena was excited about the secret and promised not to tell. Yemi hesitated a bit but decided to ask the question burning in her mind. "Is Lois there in the house?"
"No, she's not. I've not seen Auntie Lois for a long time, but maybe I should ask Daddy if she's going…"
"No, don't do that, Alee," Yemi said quickly. "I'll see you soon. Let me speak with Kufre."
She finished up what she had to do in the office and went back home to change. She had been thinking of Akeem a lot lately and wondering how he was faring. Sara had also been dropping hints that she should go and see him, but it was Aleena's statement that had finally made her decide to go. If the little girl had noticed that he wasn't fine, then he really wasn't fine.
"Hey, Akeem, I'm outside your gate. Can you tell the security to let me in, please?" she said to him on the phone when she arrived at the house about an hour later.
She gazed at the wrought-iron gates. Her once-upon-a-time home.
He was waiting for her at the door when she got there. His face looked leaner. His chin was unshaven, making him look even more rugged. If he was surprised to see her, he wasn't showing it.
"Thanks for sending Aleena over," he said to her as he led the way to the sitting room. "I was going to ask the driver to bring her back, though."
"Does that mean you're not happy to see me?" she asked lightly as she sat down in the sitting room. It felt so strange being there after such a long time, and yet it was all still so familiar. She could see some changes. Shona must have been there.
"I've been hoping you'd come by," he said, sitting down. He stretched his long legs out in front of him. "At least because of Hasan."
She tried not to stare at his legs or at the lean, muscular arms that showed through the polo shirt he had on over the knee-length cargo shorts. He seemed even more toned than she remembered.
"Didn't want to barge in…I knew Lois would be with you, anyway."
"She broke up with me a while ago."
She shot him a quick look, and his eyes met hers. Was she supposed to say something in response to his statement? Because she didn't have anything to say.
"Maybe you should let Aleena know I'm here," she said, looking away. "But I've not actually come to pick her up. She can stay with you for the rest of the week. That is, if it doesn't affect your schedule."
He snorted. "My schedule? Hasan's death has taught me a few lessons. The sun continues to rise and fall irrespective of anyone. I've made up my mind to begin to appreciate the simple things of life from henceforth."
She smiled slightly. "Like bonding with your daughter?"
"Yeah…and other things." His eyes flicked over her face as he reached beside him for the intercom.
Aleena bounded into the sitting room a few minutes later. She was very excited to see her mother, and her chattering began immediately. Yemi rolled her eyes at Akeem over Aleena's head, and he nodded knowingly. They had always wondered where she got her ability to chatter ceaselessly from. Certainly not from either one of them.
"Have you eaten?" she asked him when Aleena had gone back with Kufre to the other sitting room to continue watching her cartoons.
"Not really hungry."
She glanced at her wristwatch. It was almost four in the evening. Small wonder his face was looking leaner. "Right, let's see what we can rustle up for lunch, or is it dinner now?"
He smiled and followed her into the kitchen. A wave of nostalgia hit her. Her kitchen. How many times had she lovingly cooked their meals there before her nightmare began? She pushed the thoughts away. God had healed her heart, and it was permanent.
Akeem told her about Bassey's course in France while she checked the freezers and fridge. Bassey had stocked them up with lots of prepared dishes. She wondered which to heat up for their dinner but changed her mind and decided to make something fresh. He smiled when he saw her bring out the chopping board. He knew she liked her food fresh.
"Can I help you with anything?" he asked.
"Um…you can bring out some plates and help set the table. We can eat in the kitchen, can't we?"
"Of course."
She prepared a sauce using the sweet peppers and vegetables she found in the fridge and boiled some white rice to go with it. Then she popped some of the jerk chicken that Bassey had made into the oven.
Sometime later, Aleena and Kufre joined them in the kitchen. Yemi served them their meal, but when she started to dish some food onto Akeem's plate, he stopped her.
"Can we eat in the sitting room or dining room?" he asked.
She raised her brows questioningly. He looked back at her, the expression in his eyes unreadable. She shrugged and nodded.
"Aren't you eating with us?" Aleena asked, watching Yemi dish their portions onto plates and place them on trays.
"I want some time with your mum," Akeem replied.
That seemed to satisfy Aleena. She went back to her conversation with Kufre. Akeem and Yemi took their food to the sitting room.
"Very tasty," he said as he started eating. "I've missed this."
"You're just trying to be polite, aren't you?" she teased. "You and I both know that Bassey cooks very well."
He took his time to respond, chewing his food slowly, an expression of exaggerated enjoyment on his face. "You know what? Hasan said something about this very
same thing the last time I saw him."
"What did he say?"
"Something about wives and cooks." He smiled slightly, his eyes holding hers. "He said no cook does food like your wife."
Yemi felt heat in her cheeks, both at his words and at the way that he was looking at her. She looked away and concentrated on her food. About a minute later, she looked up again. His eyes were still on her, amusement evident in their depths at her obvious embarrassment, but thankfully he said nothing more.
She stayed for a few more hours after dinner. They reminisced about the past and laughed at the funny memories.
"I wish I had insisted that he wait for me that day. From what I eventually gathered, what Hasan had to do in Lagos was really not that urgent. It was just typical him wanting to get things rolling." Pain appeared to shadow his eyes and, he sighed. "He could have still been alive today."
"There's no way you could have known," she said gently. "But for that call, you could have been on the same flight too." She reached out and touched his hand. "Don't blame yourself, Akeem. Hasan would not want you to do that."
He covered her hand with his. "Thanks."
They both stayed with Aleena before she went to bed, which thrilled the little girl. Akeem read her a story, and Yemi sat back and watched. He was not just reading the story straight through like he used to do; instead, he demonstrated it as well, making his voice deeper or lighter when necessary. A giggle almost escaped her at his impersonation of a female character. She wished his staff could see him. He caught her amused look and gave her a mock frown.
They returned to the sitting room afterwards. She knew he really needed company by the way he would bring up another topic anytime she glanced at her wristwatch, but finally she felt it was late enough and decided to get going.
"Thanks a lot, Yemi. Have not felt this good for a while," he said, standing with her by her car. "Hope I'll see you again soon?"
Was he just lonely because he had broken up with Lois, or did he really want her company? "Will let you know when I'm coming," she replied before getting into her car. "Take care."