“Um…I don’t think so.”
“Come on, you have to have something. It doesn’t need to be perfect, just tell us your thought process as you think about it.”
“Okay.” I think for a minute before starting my response. “Love is the strongest of all emotions. It has the ability to control your head, your heart, and your senses all at once. It can completely overtake you before you even realize its presence. It has no rules that it follows and there are no guidelines for how to achieve it. You either feel it or you don’t, there is no gray area, and no in between.”
I stop talking and the entire room is quietly looking at me. “That is a very well thought out perception.” He turns away from me and begins to go over the assigned reading we had due today.
I think about what I just said and tell myself that I need to lay off Damon. Maybe I’m just moving too fast for him. There are still three weeks until Thanksgiving break, who knows what will happen until then. I try to pull my attention away from my confusing relationship and focus on my class. When I walk out of the building my phone buzzes and I see it’s a text message from Damon.
Damon: Can I see you tonight?
I don’t know how to answer him. I’m honestly still a little hurt from earlier. If he isn’t willing to fully commit why should I be?
Damon: I know I was a jerk earlier.
Well that’s an understatement. I walk to my car not intending to text him back he can sweat it out.
Damon: I love the way your ass looks in those pants.
I smile. Wait, what? I look around and try to figure out where the hell he could be. I can’t see anyone anywhere. Maybe he isn’t here and he is just trying to screw with my head. I reach for my door, and open it before I hear my phone again.
Damon: Just because you don’t see me doesn’t mean I’m not here.
This is just getting fucking weird. I’m frantically looking around trying to figure out where the hell he is. When I feel a hand on my shoulder I scream and strike out at whatever is behind me.
“Shit!” I turn around and Damon is standing there clutching his stomach. I smack him once more on the arm eliciting a groan. “What the fuck, Jessie?”
“Why the hell were you acting like such a damn creeper? You were starting to scare me!”
He stands up straight and takes a step toward me backing me against the car. “Why were you ignoring me?”
I didn’t have an answer for that and I just stared at him blankly. I wasn’t willing to admit that he had hurt my feelings earlier. “Maybe I just didn’t want to talk to you.” I move to get into my car, but he grabs my arm. “Damon, let go.”
He pulls me so that I’m standing in front of him pressed up against the car. “You can play this fucking game all you want, Jess. You damn well know that you love the fact that I chase you almost as much as I love doing it.” I take a deep breath and his head dips. His hands cup my ass and he squeezes it hard. “This. Is. Mine. You can play cat and mouse all the fuck you want. It will never change the fact that your ass and your sexy pussy belong to me.”
Damon releases me and turns to walk away. Before he gets into his car he looks back at me and winks. God he drives me fucking crazy. I know he thinks I’m going to chase after him. Fuck that. I get into my car, turn the volume on the radio all the way up, and get the hell out of that parking lot. I feel my phone vibrate in my lap and without looking at it, I know exactly who it is.
Damon: Speed away all you want. I’ll be over later to take what’s mine.
Asshole.
Chapter Twenty
I’m sitting on the couch with Lo trying to sort out my feelings. The attraction between us is undeniable, but is it enough? I’ve decided that for right now it is. I am not going to worry about anything past today. If I keep stressing I will cause gray hairs and then the shit will hit the fucking fan. “Lo, you have any plans tonight?”
She looks over at me with a smile. “Nope, so if you’re planning on having wild monkey sex you might not want to do it here. Unless of course it turned you on that I was watching, cause I’m totally down for round two.”
“You’re such a bitch.”
“Yeah, but you love it. Especially cause you know this bitch will rip that motherfucker’s dick off if he screws you. Well, screws you anywhere but your cooch.”
I throw the pillow I’m lying on at her. “Okay, I might love you just a little.”
There’s a knock at the door, and Lo gets up to answer it. “Well hello there sexy, you can just go make yourself at home in my room.”
Ugh! She really needs a good smack in the face. I get up and stomp over to the door ready to kill her when I see a random guy walk through the door. Lo sees my confused look and laughs.
“Hey, you’re not the only girl here that needs to get her rocks off. You might want to invest in some headphones.” She walks away following him into her room and closing the door. Within minutes I hear banging and noises that if I stay here any longer will give me nightmares. I grab my phone and my purse before running out to my car.
I sit behind the wheel trying to figure out what to do and there is only one place I want to be. Isn’t that letting him win this struggle? He will never let me live it down. Does that mean I should deny myself what I want? I’m going to go over there but I’ll do it on my own terms.
When I pull up to the house I smile to myself for what I’m about to do. I don’t bother knocking, I know he is home, and me asking to come in does not go with what I have planned. I walk in and the living room is empty, I head straight for the bedroom.
Damon is standing in front of his dresser in only a towel, less work for me. I stand directly behind him, snatch the clothes he has out of his hands. He turns quickly but after realizing it’s me, a cocky smirk appears on his face.
“I knew—”
“Shut the fuck up.” His eyes get big at my tone. “I am leading this shit. I hear one word from you and I’ll go home and take care of myself.” My hands grab the towel and strip it from him before roughly gripping his hand and leading him to the edge of his bed. I give him a rough push forcing him onto the mattress.
My arms cross in front of me and grip the hem of my shirt slowly pulling it up my body and over my head. Damon half sits up and reaches his hand toward me, but I smack it away. “No. I said I’m running this shit. Lie down and keep your hands to yourself.” I can see him struggling with his control, it is going to kill him to give into me.
Damon slowly lowers himself back onto the bed. I reach around my back and unclasp my bra, letting it fall to the floor before my thumbs hook into my jeans. Kicking my shoes off, I slowly ease my jeans down sticking my ass in the air as I get lower to the floor. The last thing to go is my red lace thong and Damon is staring at me like he is ready to devour me. I slide my underwear down until they fall to the floor.
The bed dips as I kneel over him, he is so hard that it’s almost hard to avoid his dick as I sit down on him. His hard length is pressed against my ass and he is starting to breath heavy. “You like to say I’m yours, right? Well tonight I’m going to show you why you have that shit backwards.” I reach behind me grabbing his cock roughly with my hand causing him to wince. I can tell he likes it rough though from the fire in his eyes. “This is mine.” I slowly stroke him as I emphasize each word.
When I release him he groans from the loss of contact. “Tonight is to show you that you do not own me or my pussy. I will own you though, and you will be fucking grateful for it.” I stroke his chest softly with my hands making my way up to his collarbone.
Damon leans up toward me and starts to speak. I lean down to whisper in his ear. “Sit back and shut the fuck up.” My nails dig into his skin and I run them down his chest, triumphing when I see the marks I’ve left.
I slowly lift my ass up and down teasing his cock. I let my tongue slowly slide over his skin, stopping every once in a while to nip at it. I know that he is almost at his limit especially when I grind my ass against him again.
I then surprise him and crash down on top of him taking every inch I can. I expect him to cry out and rejoice in victory when I see him biting his lip. When I start to move I slowly and forcefully grind on him, forcing him even deeper into me. Once he gets used to that and is enjoying the consistency of it, I start to move.
I am riding him so hard and fast that the bed begins to bang against the headboard. My moans and the sounds from the bed fill the small room. I look down to see his hands fisting the sheets in an attempt to keep them off of me. I throw my head back and sit up more enjoying the change of position.
“Fuck this!” Is all I hear before I am in the air and moving. Damon is now on top of me and panting.
“Hey, you can’t jus—” His large hand clamps over my mouth and his other gathers my hands and holds them against the mattress above my head.
“That’s where you’re wrong.” He moves the hand that is covering my mouth and his fingers pinch my clit causing me to yell. “This pussy is mine. My dick may fucking love being inside you, but this belongs to me.” He starts to move but is still keeping a hold on me and the movement is causing a delicious type of pain.
I try to move my hands and regain some of my control but he has them pinned. “You may run these other pathetic assholes, but not me. You can’t deny someone something that is theirs.” His fingers release me and I groan.
Damon pulls out of me before slamming back in. When he pulls out again I brace myself for the impact but it doesn’t come. I open my eyes and he is staring at me. “Your eyes stay open and on me, or I’ll stop.”
I nod my head not trusting my voice. Damon starts to drive into me at a pace and intensity that has me screaming and thrashing myself back and forth. My orgasm is starting to build and I know it will be fucking intense.
His body stills over me and I whine because I had just been about to lose it. His fingers slowly brush over my skin. “Did you want to come, baby?” Once again I nod. “Ask me?”
What the fuck?
He must sense my confusion. “You tried to hold your tight little pussy from me, and tell me it isn’t mine when it is. If you want to come you need to fucking ask me for permission.”
Hell no. He must take my silence for an answer and his hand moves lower now brushing over my pussy and my clit. Holy shit.
“Come on, Jess, you know you need that release. Ask. Me. For. It.”
I cannot believe I am going to fucking do this. “Make me come.” He shakes his head at me. Motherfucker. “Please make me come.”
He chuckles before barreling into me again. Damon’s hand leaves my pussy and he reaches up to grab my nipple slowly pinching it and rolling it until I’m screaming from the orgasm ripping my entire body in half. Damon is still relentlessly driving into me until his body stills and he finds his release.
I want to tell him he sucks balls for taking my one dominating time away from me, but I can’t even form words right now. In this moment I am overwhelmed by emotions and I don’t know why. There was something about his forcefulness that enticed me more than he already had. Damon walks into the bathroom and I hear the water turn on. He doesn’t ask me to join him but I know that is what he is expecting. Well, he’s in for a surprise.
I stand up but almost fall back onto the bed feeling like Bambi learning to walk for the first time. This gives the term weak in the knees a whole new meaning. I quickly get dressed and smile when I see a pen and a notepad on his dresser
Thanks for a good time!
That’s all I write before I quietly sneak out laughing at the reaction that I won’t get to see. I hear him call for me from the shower as I’m closing the door. Take that, asshole. I stop at a burger place on the way home and grab something to eat. One thing about the south is that they always smother everything. Why smother it? Can’t it just have barbeque sauce on it? Smother sounds dirty and like it is going to be leaking juices all over me. I pick Lo up a burger hoping the random is gone by now.
When I get home I slowly open the door and listen for any animalistic noises before I decide it’s safe to go in. Lo is in the kitchen slamming cabinets. “What are you doing?” I yell from the living room.
“I’m trying to figure out something to eat other than fucking ramen for the millionth time.” I walk into the kitchen holding the food bags and she smiles. “I knew I kept you around for a reason. Why aren’t you over at pimp daddy’s house though? He never lets you leave that fast.”
“Seriously? Do you have to call him that?”
She tilts her head to the side and smiles. “Well, I could call him Mr. Big Dick but I feel like that might piss you off.”
I can’t even respond to her. All I can do is shake my head and bite into my smothered burger. It is going to take a man with iron fucking balls to keep her crazy ass interested.
Chapter Twenty One
It has been two weeks since what Damon refers to as the dominatrix attempt. He still hasn’t let me live it down that he took over my one and only attempt at being in control. The new arrangement we worked out with my jobs has been going good for the most part. It’s a little less money but definitely good enough to pay my tuition. It’s Thursday night and, as usual, things tend to be tense. He knows that I’ll be going on a job tomorrow and even if I’m not doing as much as I used to it still pisses him off.
The thing that is really making things bad right now is my job tomorrow. The guy is a regular who isn’t used to the new arrangement. When Damon explained it to him he was not happy. He called Tasha and offered her double my normal rate, she accepted, of course. So now he is in a fucking shitty mood and I’m wishing I never came over.
We are sitting at the table and eating the pizza we ordered in absolute silence. Besides my job tomorrow, there is another huge elephant in the room. “So, I’m just going to ask this since we are both thinking about it. What’s going on for the holiday?”
He looks up at me. “I…Jess, I think I’m just going to go. It’s just that my family can be—”
“Don’t you fucking make up some bullshit lie to me. Whether you want to admit it or not, you are fucking ashamed of me and I know it! Why the hell are you even with me then? I’m good enough to fuck in the privacy of your own home, but you can’t go anywhere with me in public?”
I stand up from the table, I am so fucking over him and his bullshit. When I grab my purse and keys to leave he comes after me grabbing my hand to stop me from leaving. “Jess, that’s not it, babe.”
I yank my hand from his. “Bullshit! You have never taken me out in this town. Never! We stay in every fucking night! Don’t you dare fucking tell me I’m nuts either. I’ll make this easy, you piece of shit. I’m. Fucking. Done. I don’t want this anymore and I deserve fucking better than being hid away in your house. I am leaving and I swear to God, if you try to follow me you will fucking regret it.” I open the door and walk out to my car.
When I feel a hand on my shoulder, I’m almost happy. I turn around and connect my knee to his balls so hard I’m surprised they don’t burst. Damon collapses on the ground, thankfully away from my car.
“I told you not to fucking follow me. If you dare come to my house I’ll chop it the fuck off.”
I get in my car slamming the door and backing out of the driveway before I let a single tear fall. The drive home is a fucking blur, and when I walk through the door I’m so thankful that Lo is home.
She looks up at me smart comment ready to pour out, but it dies on her lips. “Shit.”
She opens her arms and I run to her like a child running to their mother. As much as Lo gives me shit, she is my fucking rock. She doesn’t even ask me what’s happened we just sit on the couch and she lets me cry it out. When I hear a knock on the door my sadness turns to rage.
“I told him not to follow me! I’m gonna fucking kill him!”
I jump up from the couch breaking free from Lo’s hold. She is trying to get me to stop but it’s no use. I am on a rampage. I throw the door open while simultaneously screaming,
“I’m gonna cut it off, asshole!”
When I get the door open I see a young kid holding a takeout bag in one hand and cupping his dick protectively with the other one. Lo comes up behind me and puts her hands on my shoulders slowly moving me away from the door. “I’m sorry, she forgot to take her anti-castration pills today. Here keep the change.” Once she gives him the money, he all but sprints away from our door. “Seriously, Jess?”
I shrug my shoulders at her and sulk back over to the couch. She sits down after grabbing two plates and laying out the food she ordered.
“Now that the river crazy has stopped flowing out of your eyes, tell me what happened, then I’ll share my food with you.”
I tell her about the fight and what happened after, there is a look of pride when I tell her I kicked him in the balls. “I can’t be his secret anymore. I hate that he is making me feeling fucking ashamed of myself.”
“You know what?” I look up at her. “Fuck him. Well not really fuck him, because that’s what started all this shit. I mean screw him, nope not that either. I mean—”
“I get it.” I say laughing for the first time since I left Damon’s house. It sucks that it’s over but at least I know I fucking tried to make it work.
***
Today is the job with my regular, and I don’t feel as guilty as I would have yesterday. Damon’s been texting me but I haven’t heard anything from him since Lo told him she would chop his balls off and then staple them to his face.
I get to the hotel room, hating the way that things are with him right now. I’m still pissed about our fight last night. When I told him I wanted to come home with him for break he seemed apprehensive. He always tells me how he loves his family and how great they are, but when I say I want to meet them he gets all weird.
Shattered Innocence Page 11