by Tom Percival
‘Sir?’ replied one of the guards.
‘I want you to go and break a hole in the Moonstone defences.’
‘What? But, sir, that’s the only thing that keeps the trolls out!’
Fitch glared at him, ‘Yes, I know. And?’
‘Well, if we do that, then won’t the trolls get in?’
‘Precisely!’ exclaimed Fitch. ‘The trolls will think it’s the perfect opportunity to attack! And when they do . . . we’ll be waiting for them! Using the new machinery in the walls we’ll be able to drain every last drop of magic from every last troll, and then finally, we’ll be rid of them – forever!
6
Jack trudged wearily through the woods. The mission had been a complete failure. They’d gone to rescue Wolfie, but in the end he’d lost everyone. Jack had hidden away in a high tree with a clear view of the palace and waited for more than an hour, but none of his friends had made it out. He then looked around the town, down on the beach and went searching deep within the Wild Woods. But he saw no one. In the end, with nothing left to do, and nowhere else to go, he went back to the hideout.
He made the secret wolf howl as he approached, but there was no response. The hideout was deserted. Not even Professor Hendricks or the other gorillas were there. This was very odd . . . Looking around for clues, Jack eventually found a trail of banana skins that led through the trees, where there were signs of a scuffle next to heavy cart tracks leading back towards Tale Town. Had their hideout been discovered? It certainly looked like it, and now the gorillas had been captured too!
Was it really just him left? What could he possibly do on his own? Jack sank to the floor, suddenly feeling very lonely.
‘There, there! Come on now, don’t cry,’ said a small bowl of spaghetti as it hopped across the floor.
‘Yiiiiiiiiiikes!’ yelped Jack, scrambling away.
‘It’ll be OK,’ said the bowl of spaghetti soothingly, as a few strands flopped out and made a clumsy attempt at patting him on the back.
‘Er . . .’ mumbled Jack, backing away.
‘Oh yes, I’d better explain . . .’ said the bowl of spaghetti. ‘It’s me, Cole! I had a bit of a, well, a bit of a mix-up at the palace. I tried to cast a spell to make me faster, but I must have said it wrong as it made me pasta instead.’ The bowl of spaghetti somehow managed to look annoyed. ‘Why is doing magic so tricksy? You have to get every little detail JUST right!’
‘I see . . .’ said Jack slowly. Everybody knew that Cole’s magic was a bit unpredictable – nearly every spell he ever cast went wrong – but this was a particularly impressive mess-up, even by Cole’s standards.
‘It worked, though!’ said Cole proudly. ‘None of the guards was looking for a bowl of cold spaghetti.’
‘I suppose not,’ said Jack doubtfully. ‘Any idea how long you’ll be like that?’
‘Possibly forever.’ The bowl sniffed loudly. ‘I’m a rubbish Fairy Godbrother!’
‘Hey, no you’re not!’ said Jack, trying to cheer Cole up.
‘I am,’ wailed Cole. ‘I saw all the others get captured and dragged off to the palace dungeons and I couldn’t do anything to stop it, because . . . well . . .’ The strands of spaghetti flopped around sadly.
‘It’s not your fault!’ insisted Jack. ‘You tried your best!’
‘Yeah? Well, I guess it wasn’t good enough,’ replied Cole miserably. ‘Now Ella’s been captured, along with everyone else, and no offence, Jack, but what are we going to do about that? I mean, you don’t have any special skills like Anansi or Rapunzel, and I’m a bowl of cold spaghetti.’
‘Wait!’ cried Jack. ‘Maybe I don’t . . . yet!’ He rooted around in his satchel and pulled out the last two spells he’d been given by Lily: the ‘spell of shocking’ and the ‘spell of skill’. ‘If we share this “skill” potion, then you’ll be able to turn yourself back to normal, and I’ll be able to . . . Well, I don’t know what I’ll be able to do, but I bet it’ll be cool!’ He pulled the stopper out, drank half of the potion and poured the other half over the spaghetti.
There was a bright flash and a ring of bright blue smoke shot out from where the bowl had been.
‘Wow!’ said Cole, who was back to normal and hovering in the air. ‘That was easy! I feel like I could do, well . . . anything!’
A few minutes later, after Jack had discovered that he could suddenly speak twelve different languages (including ‘dog’) and perform amazing kung fu skills, and Cole had walked a tightrope blindfolded while playing the guitar, they decided that they should probably stop messing about and start working out how to rescue their friends.
‘How long do you think this will last?’ asked Cole, making an earwig twenty times bigger, then quickly putting it back to its normal size when he realized that giant earwigs were actually quite scary. ‘I hope it’s ages!’
‘I know!’ said Jack. ‘Being really good at things is awesome! And now that I’m amazing at planning, I’ve worked out that even with our new skills, we’re still going to need help because we don’t know how long the spell will last.’
‘But who can help us?’ asked Cole. ‘All our friends have been kidnapped.’
‘Yes,’ agreed Jack with a smile. ‘All our friends have been . . .’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Cole.
‘Well, he’s not exactly a friend, and I know that Red won’t like this . . . but I know one person who’d do anything to get Wolfie back safely.’
‘And who’s that?’
‘His dad,’ said Jack. ‘The Big Bad Wolf!’
7
Having a huge wolf burst out of the woods, snarling something about licking your gizzards off a stick like a lollipop, is alarming, even if you don’t know exactly what ‘gizzards’ are – which Jack didn’t. Still, when you’re amazingly skilled at pretty much everything in the world, things like that are less of a problem. Jack had discovered he was also an expert wolf whisperer. He’d marched right up to the Big Bad Wolf and gently blown down his nose while stroking underneath his chin. Within seconds Jack had managed to calm the Big Bad Wolf down, and got him to agree to help them save Wolfie – although he did have to tickle him behind the ears to do that bit.
‘So, where’s this Fitch fella got my boy?’ demanded the Big Bad Wolf.
‘Er, he’s in the palace dungeons in Tale Town, Mr Wolf,’ replied Jack, ‘along with all our other friends. They got captured during our last rescue attempt.’
‘Typical humans!’ muttered the Big Bad Wolf under his breath. ‘Ain’t no good for nothin’. It’s about time it was us wolves callin’ the shots!’
‘Sorry, what was that, Mr Wolf?’ said Jack.
‘I just said it was about time!’
‘What’s the time, Mr Wolf?’ asked Jack, feeling confused.
‘Oh, never mind,’ said the Big Bad Wolf. ‘So . . . how are we doin’ this? Is it just you, me and that little blue ghost thing?’
Cole looked deeply offended, but didn’t quite dare to actually say anything – the Big Bad Wolf really was very scary.
‘Look, we’ve got skills!’ said Jack, hopping into a one-fingered handstand and making a cat’s cradle with his feet. ‘Right now, Cole and I can do pretty much anything, so with your help, we’ll get Wolfie back in no time! But we need to hurry. I’m not sure how long the spell’s going to last.’
The Big Bad Wolf shrugged. ‘Fair enough,’ he said. ‘If it involves terrorizing Tale Town then I’m in.’
There was a rustle in the bushes behind them. Jack looked urgently over at Cole, who quickly made them all invisible. They waited as the rustling got louder. Soon they could hear quiet, murmured voices. Jack watched as the Big Bad Wolf crouched down, preparing to pounce. The wolf’s eyes narrowed and he licked his lips hungrily.
Some leaves next to Jack were swept aside and then a small group walked into the clearing. The wolf roared and leaped out, his claws flashing in the dim light as three terrified figures screamed and jumped backwards.
8
It was safe to say that the reunion between Red and the Big Bad Wolf was not going particularly well.
‘I cannot believe that you ATE my grandmother!’ shouted Red angrily.
‘I thought she was a deer,’ protested the Big Bad Wolf, not entirely convincingly.
‘Walking on two legs?’ spat Red.
‘She had a walking stick,’ protested the wolf, ‘so technically it was three. Anyway, it was misty, I couldn’t see very well.’
‘But you followed her into her house!’
‘Deer are very good at hiding.’
‘. . . And you ate her!’
‘Yeah, well . . .’
‘And then you dressed up as her and tried to eat ME!’
‘The thing is . . .’ The wolf paused again, unable to come up with a good explanation. ‘Look.’ He sighed. ‘I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, she tasted horrible and, besides, your dad did manage to get her back, so no harm done . . .’ He unconsciously ran a paw over the long scar that ran along his middle.
‘Sorry . . . Can I interrupt?’ asked Jack. ‘It’s just that we’ve got to go and rescue everyone before Cole goes back to being rubbish at magic – no offence, Cole. So can we please just get on with the rescue, and then you two can carry on fighting afterwards? OK?’
Red glared at him, then muttered, ‘OK.’
The Big Bad Wolf growled low in his throat and made the tiniest of nods.
‘Good,’ said Jack. ‘Thank you. OK, Cole, can you teleport us inside the palace?’
‘I can do better than that!’ Cole grinned and clicked his fingers. ‘I can teleport us right inside Wolfie’s cell!’
In the woods to the north of Tale Town something was happening. As the sun was setting over the treetops, shadowy figures were walking along the many twisting pathways. They moved silently towards a large clearing where several hundred other figures were already gathered. It was a mixed group. There were trolls, there were imps, there were sprites, there were the tiny, inch-high people of Tom Thumb’s village, along with four giants, three minotaurs, two centaurs and one Humpty Dumpty. Together they were planning their revenge. Over the years, Mayor Fitch had been sending out his guards to raid, steal, plunder and take whatever he wanted from all of them. Individually, they hadn’t been able to do anything to stop Fitch – but together? Together, they stood a chance. The troll leader Hurrilan looked out at his ever-growing army. It hadn’t taken them long to find a way to cross Quidgely’s Pass. When you can control stone, to make it do whatever you like, a broken bridge isn’t really a problem.
Soon they would be able to strike. Soon it would all be over!
With a bright blue flash, Red, Rapunzel, Jack, Anansi, Cole and the Big Bad Wolf appeared in Wolfie’s cell, but he wasn’t alone. Betsy and Ella had also been locked up in the same room.
yelped Betsy, Ella and Wolfie in surprise, which made the guards unlock the door and burst in to find out what was going on. They were angry at first, but that anger soon became fear as the Big Bad Wolf prowled towards them.
‘Now . . . you been keepin’ my boy ’ere against his will!’ snarled the wolf. ‘So I’m going to give you a simple choice. You can either run out of here screaming, “Help me, Mummy!” and leave them doors wide open. Or . . .’ He looked at them closely so they could see themselves reflected in the dark pools of his eyes. ‘Or I can eat you up whole. It’s your choice. I’m happy either way.’
Before he’d even finished there was the loud clanging of a door as three guards ran out screaming, ‘Help me, Mummy!’
‘Well, that’s a shame!’ muttered the Big Bad Wolf. ‘I was a bit hungry.’
‘Dad!’ cried Wolfie, running up and throwing his arms around him.
‘You came for me! And you’re with . . . my friends!’ The Big Bad Wolf brushed something that looked suspiciously like a tear from his furry face. ‘Yeah, well, couldn’t have you all cooped up now, could I? I mean, there ain’t even any shampoo in ’ere!’
‘And you don’t mind that I’m friends with . . . well . . . with the humans?’
The Big Bad Wolf ruffled his son’s fur. ‘Listen . . . You and me might not be cut from the same cloth. We might not do things the same way. But you know what?’ Wolfie looked up at his dad, who smiled. ‘You’re my son. And more than that, I’m proud of you! Not even your great-great-grandad, Heartslash Sharpclaw, would have gone up against Fitch like you kids have. Now, don’t you have some other friends that need rescuing? We’re two short, ain’t we?’
squawked Betsy urgently.
‘What?’ said the Big Bad Wolf. ‘What do you mean, “What!”?’
repeated Betsy angrily, flapping her wings for added emphasis.
‘She said that Hansel and Gretel are in the cells on the next floor down,’ explained Jack. ‘Apparently, they were being a bit naughty and had to get locked up away from everyone else.’
‘Yes!’ added Ella. ‘They also had to write out “I must not knock off the guards’ helmets with a stone, steal the keys and then try to escape” one hundred times each!’
The magic mirror in Red’s pocket pinged and everyone fell silent as she opened it up. There was Quartz’s face, and in the background was what looked like Greentop’s Cafe.
‘Er, hi,’ whispered Quartz. ‘So . . . I’ve got some good news and some bad news.’
‘What’s the bad news?’ asked Red.
‘We got over Quidgely’s Pass and the whole troll army is waiting just outside Tale Town. We’re resting in the woods to have something to eat before the big attack.’
‘OK . . .’ said Red, looking worried. ‘So, what’s the good news? You’ve got a plan that means we’ll be able to defeat Mayor Fitch and stop Hurrilan from attacking and ruining the already terrible relations between the trolls and the humans?’
‘Er, no, sorry. The good news is that this cafe makes delicious milkshakes.’
‘Right,’ said Red. ‘So . . . not really great news, is it?’
‘No, I guess not . . .’
‘OK. Look, thanks for the warning, but I’m a bit busy trying to escape from a dungeon right now, so can we, like, chat later?’
‘Yeah. Sure. Good luck!’ replied Quartz, and his reflection in the mirror faded away.
‘So, you all heard that?’ asked Red, looking round at her friends. They all nodded.
‘And does anyone have any brainwaves about how to fix this mess?’
They all shook their heads and Red sighed.
‘I think that’s a no,’ replied Ella. ‘Still, on the bright side, at least the cell door’s open!’
‘I suppose . . .’ muttered Red.
‘We’ll have to be careful, though,’ added Ella. ‘There are loads of Fitch’s men in the palace and they’re really mean!’
Jack picked up a sword that one of the guards had dropped, and twirled it around through the air in an amazingly complex series of movements. ‘I don’t think we need to worry too much about that,’ he said with a smile. ‘Not while we’ve got our skills! Right, Cole?’
‘Right,’ agreed Cole as he clicked his fingers and made a large pile of ice cream appear in a messy heap on top of the Big Bad Wolf.
‘Wait . . . Sorry! That wasn’t what I meant to . . .’ He ducked suddenly as the sword Jack had been spinning flew out of his fingers, shot through the air and clanged against the wall before falling to the floor.
‘Oh,’ said Cole sadly. ‘Looks like the spell’s finished.’
9
Once Cole’s magic was back to normal (meaning that it didn’t work) and Jack’s only real skill was that he could wiggle each ear one at a time, things were not looking quite so good. The ear trick was definitely a good one, but even so, it wasn’t going to stop a prison full of armed guards.
‘I’ll call some spiders,’ whispered Anansi, making a soft clicking noise in the back of his throat. Soon the floor was carpeted with thousands of spiders, a
ll looking up at Anansi.
‘Hubert!’ said Anansi to one small spider that was crawling up his arm. ‘How’s it going? I’ve not seen you for ages! How’s your mum – did she get that leg fixed up?’ The spider rubbed its mandibles together and Anansi smiled. ‘Oh, good! Well, you tell her to be more careful next time. Anyway, I need to ask you guys a little favour . . .’
Five minutes later there was a tunnel made of spider webs running all the way down the corridor. The web tunnel clung to the shadowy corners of the ceiling leading towards the staircase that led down to where Hansel and Gretel were imprisoned. One by one, they climbed up into the tunnel. Jack had just helped to heave Ella up when the guards came running back, along with dozens of reinforcements.
Red, Jack and their friends crept slowly along the woven webs. They had nearly made it to the staircase when one of the guards happened to look up and notice them.
‘There!’ she shouted. ‘They’re hiding up there!’
All the guards craned their necks to look up.
‘We’ve still got the “spell of shock”,’ yelped Jack, pulling out the last of the blue glass bottles that Lily had given him. ‘Here goes!’ He pulled the stopper out and took a sip. A tiny howling cat leaped out from behind his ear, making everyone gasp in shock and scramble backwards. ‘OK,’ he muttered. ‘Not exactly what I was imagining . . .’
‘Perhaps you just need more?’ suggested Ella. So Jack tipped his head back and drank the whole spell. Soon the corridor was overrun with howling, shrieking, hissing cats. They leaped out of the guards’ trousers, from behind flickering torches, out of tiny air vents and anywhere that you wouldn’t expect a cat to leap out from.